


the argument of peace (at the cost of war)

by sobsicles



Series: Doing Better [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Abby healing, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguments, Bellamy is not perfect but he is trying his best, Blodreina Octavia Blake (for a time), Clarke and Bellamy as Madi's parents, Clarke learning to be better, Discussions of Addiction, Discussions of Cannabilism, Explicit sexual scenes, F/M, Family Feels, Humor, In Depth look at Wonkru, In depth look at Eligius Crew, Indra being a badass, Literally no one is good or bad in this story, Madi being a little shit, Madi being ready to be self-sacrificial, Madi facing harsh realities, Murphy being his usual self, Negotiations under duress, No Child Death but Temporary Self-Endangerment, No one important dies, Octavia getting the redemption arc she deserved, Oh also Emori/Raven/Murphy is there if you squint very very hard, On-screen deaths, Sweet Moments, The delinquents being little shits, The sad thing about all these tags seeming so bad is, They are all flawed characters and I explore that, do some squinting, exploration of trauma, literally blink and you will miss it, season 5 rewrite, so for all you memorven (or whatever that ot3 ship name is) shippers out there, this story still is not as dark as the actual show
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:33:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 101,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25329340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sobsicles/pseuds/sobsicles
Summary: “Without you,” Clarke murmurs when Bellamy pulls away slightly to press their foreheads together, “I would have started a war.”“I know. And do you know what I would have done when I walked into it?”"What?”“I would have helped you fight it,” Bellamy whispers. “But that's another life. In this one, we don't fight. We keep being us, and we do better. Someone wise told me that, and she was right.”“If only she could take her own advice,” Clarke says, swallowing thickly.Bellamy smiles at her. “She's got me for that.”~~~Or, the one where those from Space find the ground, those from the Bunker find their freedom, and those in between find their purpose. They all have to come together and do better in a world where it's so easy to do the opposite. Through peace or war, no one will come out on the other side the same.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: Doing Better [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1824922
Comments: 249
Kudos: 446





	1. The Arrival

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, fellow humans (and those of another variety 👀), welcome to the second installment of the Doing Better Series. I would highly recommend reading the first installment to better understand this one. It's a take on Bellamy joining Clarke in living in the Valley for six years after Praimfaya, raising Madi and such. It's also 80k+ of words where ~stuff~ happens and Bellarke eventually get their shit together and allow themselves to be in love! So, yeah, highly recommend that you read that one first. 
> 
> However, I want to say that you don't necessarily need to read it to understand this story. There are some callbacks and it picks up right after the end of the first fic in the series, but outside of that, all you'd really need is to have watched Season 5 of The 100 to understand this story. I take everything the show did and uh...change it, basically. 
> 
> I would also like to say that the last story had it's heavy moments, and this one has even more. It's also a bit quicker in pace. The stakes are a bit higher, as well as tensions. I go into a deep-dive exploration of these characters and these groups of people. Everyone is flawed, but I don't bash anyone. It does get dark at times, just as the last one, but this one doesn't shy away from it in the least. So, be mindful of the tags and the warnings before any chapters that will explain more in depth. But also be aware that this story STILL isn't as heavy/dark as the actual show because I actually let the characters have light moments as well. 
> 
> Warnings for this chapter: I start off with a bang! We get right into it. To clarify, it's tense. It's exciting. It also has its laughs. Also, a character does die, but it's a character we all wanted dead from the beginning, so it's cool. (SPOILER: It rhymes with SickDreary) 
> 
> As an assurance, literally no character we've had for more than one season will die. Like, basically, any character that you know seriously will NOT die. 
> 
> With that being said, go forth, my lovelies, and enjoy ❤

Bellamy finally finishes his chair. 

He could actually,  _ genuinely  _ cry. For reasons he will never fully decipher, this chair was even harder than the first, which makes no sense. He's already done it before, so he'd think that he'd learn by now how to get it done. Still, when it finally sits straight on the porch without wobbling, he sits in it and releases a deep sigh of relief, inwardly smug. 

When the Rover comes skidding to a stop, he stands up with a grin, prepared to show off his new chair like it's actually something to celebrate. Clarke will probably indulge him because she's Clarke, and Madi will probably roll her eyes because she's Madi. He's perfectly fine with that. 

However, when Madi drops from the Rover with wide eyes, her face entirely too pale to be normal, his heart drops in his chest. 

Clarke is not with her. 

“Guns,” Madi chokes out, running up to him with frantic eyes. “Bellamy, we need the guns. All the guns, right  _ now.  _ Clarke said—” 

Bellamy reaches out and catches her mid-motion, bringing her to a halt. “Woah, hey, what happened? Madi, tell me what happened.” 

“People came down,” Madi breathes out. Her throat bobs as she stares up at him. “Clarke's scared, and I think—Bellamy, I think they're  _ bad.”  _

“Where is Clarke?” Bellamy feels like all the warmth has drained from his body, his heart skipping a beat in his chest. “Where is she now?”

Madi releases a shaky breath. “Still on the ridge. We have to go, and we need all the guns.” 

“Okay.” Bellamy straightens up, scanning the Village quickly before meeting Madi’s eyes. “We grab what we need and we  _ go.  _ You're driving.”

They split off, rushing through to grab all the guns and ammo they have. Bellamy feels a strange tension grip him, putting speed to his steps and strength in how he hauls everything. He doesn't know the whole story, but he doesn't need to. If Madi is right and Clarke is scared, if Clarke thinks they need the guns...then he already knows that this is a problem he's not ready for. 

“Bellamy, come on!” Madi yells at him, barreling towards the Rover laden with the last load of guns. She's cranking it up and whipping them around before he's even fully inside. 

“Tell me  _ everything,”  _ Bellamy demands sharply, reaching up to grip the handle as Madi wildly navigates towards the ridge. 

Madi releases a shaky breath. “I don't know. Clarke just woke me up and told me that the others were here. We—we thought that it was Raven with everyone, but...it was a bigger ship, and Clarke looked at it through her rifle. Some people in weird clothes came out of the ship, and Clarke made me come get you and guns.” 

“Did those people have guns?” Bellamy asks tightly, fumbling fingers trying to load all the guns in his lap. He darts his gaze around their surroundings, noting when they're getting closer to the ridge. 

“I couldn't tell,” Madi mutters. “I think so.”

Bellamy nods. “Okay. Don't get too close to the ridge, and we need to keep the Rover out of sight. We don't need anyone taking it.” 

“I know where to put it.” Madi grips the wheel tighter and suddenly whips them towards the right, taking them in a thicket as out of the way as possible. She throws it in park and stares over at him. “We run from here.” 

“Stay low and stay quiet,” Bellamy says sharply, holding her gaze. “If I tell you to run, you  _ run.  _ Do you understand?” 

Madi nods, her eyes wide. “I understand.” 

“Then let's go.” 

They slip out of the Rover, taking the guns they can carry and leaving the rest. Bellamy doesn't want to think about why Clarke doesn't want to leave them accessible, but he has an idea. These people, if they're here, they're here for the Valley, for the Village, for their  _ home.  _

Bellamy wants to take a second and just think about this, or catch his breath, or maybe turn back time to before Clarke and Madi ever left for the ridge. But, in the blink of an eye, the world has changed like the shift of the wind, and this is a hard breeze he knows all too well. That press on his chest, insisting he keep going, getting prepared to fight, needing to keep those he cares about alive and safe. Six years and a week or not, the feeling of survival never truly goes dormant.

It's baffling, though. Bellamy hasn't felt like this in many years, and it shocks him how he settles right back into it like he never left. Maybe he'll never truly leave, maybe he'll always be like this, maybe Clarke was right and they haven't changed at all, no matter what they've been through. 

His mind races as he follows Madi through the woods, keeping his ears pricked for any noise. It isn't until he hears distant voices that it fully hits him that there are other people here. Even with Madi saying it, he hadn't fully come to terms with it, not just yet. 

Seeing Clarke is like a weight lifted off his chest. He releases a deep sigh of relief at the sight of her laying flat on the ridge, looking at the people through the scope of her rifle. She jerks in place when he crawls over to her. 

“Bellamy,” Clarke whispers, her eyes wide. 

“Tell me what’s going on,” Bellamy says quietly, flicking his gaze to the people moving in the distance. He has to squint past the glare of the sun to see, but he can make out movement. 

Clarke reaches out and grabs his wrist  _ hard,  _ her fingers clamping down. “It's a prisoner transport ship. Whoever these people are, they're not coming down for a visit. They have  _ guns.”  _ Her nails dig into his skin, her throat working as she stares into his eyes. “They're here for our home.”

“How many?” 

“I don't know for sure. Too many.” 

“Okay.” Bellamy releases a slow breath and flicks his gaze over to Madi. “Okay, this is what we're going to do. You and I are going to gather as much intel as we can, and  _ you—”  _ He points to Madi, staring into her eyes, “—are going to hide.”

Madi starts shaking her head immediately. “But—”

“No, listen to him,” Clarke hisses, leaning forward to catch Madi's gaze. “You showed us, once, where you hid from  _ fleimkepas.  _ They never found you, and neither will these people. That's where you go, and you don't come out until we come and get you. Go, Madi. Go  _ now.”  _

Bellamy gently pushes her back, his heart clenching in his chest at the sight of genuine fear on her face as she pulls her hand from his. He lunges forward and catches her arm, making her pause and look at him. He hates to send her away, especially to the one place she'd shown them that she never wanted to go again, but she can't be out in the open if any fighting breaks out. But he's not prepared to leave her defenseless either. 

“Madi,” Bellamy rasps, putting a gun in her hand while holding her gaze, “don't forget what I told you.” 

“You can't take the bullet back once it leaves the gun,” Madi whispers. 

Clarke nods. “And they'll hear you.” 

“I'll make sure it's my only choice,” Madi murmurs, swallowing thickly and turning away from them, darting into the forest. 

For a long moment, neither of them say anything, and Bellamy just looks down his scope. His mind is racing so fast that he can barely focus on the people walking around. For what he can gather, a woman seems to be the leader—directing traffic and giving orders, mostly talking to one man who's not dressed like anyone else and another man who waves his gun around with the ease of someone who knows how to use it. Everyone who steps off the ship seems to pause and bask in the sun, looking around in simple bliss at the world, as if it's their first time on the ground in many years. 

Bellamy pulls his eye away from the scope, taking a shallow breath. He finds himself remembering his first step on the ground, at the swell of relief and freedom, at the pure joy of jogging off the dropship at Octavia’s giddy declaration of,  _ “We're back, bitches!”  _

But, the truth was, they weren't back at all. The people in Space hadn't stepped foot on the ground for a long time, so this new land that they claimed wasn't theirs to take—they  _ stole  _ it, and he knows that now. He suddenly understands what the Grounders must have felt when Jasper crossed that river into their territory, their  _ home.  _

In the long run, it hadn't mattered anyway. The world was still going to end, and without the sky people, no one would have survived that. It doesn't make up for them encroaching on land that wasn't theirs anymore, but that's the way the cards fell. Just, right now, looking at these new arrivals, he  _ gets it,  _ gets the Grounders. 

It's come full circle, and the irony isn't lost on him. There's just no humor in it. 

This time, it's  _ them  _ who are under threat by strange visitors, and it's utterly terrifying. It's worse, too, because they don't have their people to back them up. It's just him, Clarke, and Madi. 

Bellamy draws his eyebrows together and shakes his head with force, as if he can dislodge the thoughts. No.  _ No,  _ they can't do this again. It's like building that chair—he'd already done it once, so he ought to have learned. 

Going into another war can't happen. It just  _ can't.  _ He knows how that goes, has seen the turnout of that, has witnessed the carnage and been a part of it himself. He won't subject Madi to that, no matter what it takes to avoid it. 

“Bellamy,” Clarke says tightly, making him look over at her with wide eyes. She swallows and tightens her finger over the trigger. “There's too many of them to take out in a group setting like this. They have weapons I've never seen before. But we know this Valley, and if we strike quick and smart, we can pick them off.” 

Bellamy stares at her, flicking his gaze over her features. There's a hardness to her eyes that almost fully shields the desperate fear behind them, but he knows her. He knows what to look for, and he sees it all. He sees the pinched skin around her eyes, the way her breath comes out in shallow bursts of borderline panic, the way her body trembles with restrained adrenaline, how she holds onto her gun like it's the only thing that can get her through this. 

And, you know, Bellamy gets that, too. His first instinct is the same as hers, especially when it comes to Madi’s safety and survival. His knee-jerk reaction is to eliminate any possible threat to his child, Clarke, and his home. He doesn't know these people, or what they're capable of, where they came from, or how likely they are to see reason. It's the smart choice, the  _ head  _ choice, to do whatever they can to protect themselves, their child, and their land. But this is why Bellamy is the heart to her head. 

“No, Clarke,” Bellamy says softly, reaching out to gently touch her arm. “We're not going to murder these people.” 

Clarke stares at him like he's gone insane. “Do  _ not  _ pull a Kane on me about this, not while our child is hiding in fear and our home is in danger. These people are coming from a  _ prison _ transport ship, meaning they're criminals.” 

“We don't  _ know  _ that, Clarke. We have no idea if we should be scared or not.” 

“Do you think that we'll be safe with fifty, maybe a hundred people who are very likely to be  _ criminals  _ coming into our home, around our daughter? What do you think is going to happen, Bellamy? That they'll just leave our Village alone, not want any of our things, just go about their day like they don't have  _ all  _ the power?” 

“I'm not saying that,” Bellamy grits out, shaking his head at her. He squeezes her arm. “I'm just saying that we came down in a ship, too. We thought we were alone, we planned to take the earth for ourselves, and we ended up in a war from it. If there's even a  _ chance  _ that we can prevent that from happening now, for Madi, shouldn't we at least try?” 

“This Valley is  _ ours.”  _ Clarke snatches her arm from his grip and glares at him. “I'm not going to risk it, or Madi, because you want to try and negotiate with criminals.” 

“Hey!” Bellamy barks, surging forward to get in her face and force her to look at him. She's still glaring at him, refusing to back down. “Don't forget the horrible crimes we've committed in the past, Clarke. These past six years can't wash our hands clean, no matter how hard we try, and we are no more innocent than any other person you've decided to label a criminal. Stop thinking about this like we're under attack, because the way I see it, no one has done anything to make a move, and I  _ refuse  _ to be the first.” 

Clarke leans forward until their noses nearly brush, her eyes blazing. “And that will be the thing that costs us our lives.” 

Bellamy sucks in a sharp breath, the words like a blunt object to the chest. She looks like she regrets saying it for a split second, but then her face wipes clean and she starts to turn away. He wants to be angry with her, wants to lash out, wants to tell her that her thirst for war will be the thing that costs them their lives,  _ not  _ him...but instead, he takes a breath. Then another. Then one more. And then, he reaches out and grips her face, forcing her to look at him. 

“You are not  _ Wanheda  _ anymore, Clarke. You're not in Mount Weather, and you're not in the City of Light, and we are not at war. Not yet.” He stares into her eyes, his own beseeching, begging her to see it how he does. “But we both know, if you make the first move, we will be.” 

Clarke releases a shuddering breath, and he watches her blink hard like she's trying not to allow her eyes to shimmer with tears, but they do anyway. “So, what are we going to do, Bellamy? We just let them march on our home, let them steal our things? We put Madi in danger on the hope that  _ other people  _ are better than we were? Don't you get it? There are no good guys.” 

“What about Lexa?” Bellamy argues, watching her blink, almost as if she's forgotten. “I know she made mistakes, Clarke. Ones you'll never forgive her for, even if you loved her, but her  _ mission  _ to bring people together was not wrong.” 

“She was one person,” Clarke croaks, “and her mission failed.” 

Bellamy nods slowly. “Because she  _ died.  _ She was a leader, guiding her people on the right path, and her death led them astray. I'm not saying that all those people out there are safe, or that we should trust them, or that they're all good guys. I'm saying that we just have to hope the leader is.” 

“And if they're not?” Clarke rasps. 

“If the leader isn't…” Bellamy swallows and takes a deep breath. “Then we go to war.” 

Clarke huffs a little laugh, staring at him with tears in her eyes. She sniffles. “That's cheap, Bellamy, playing the Lexa card.” 

“Desperate times and all that,” Bellamy says weakly, stroking her cheek. 

Clarke darts her gaze to the people moving around. From a distance, it's hard to make out details, but the woman seems to be gathering people in a small group. It won't be long before people start scouting the woods, and they can't let that happen, not with Madi hiding. 

Taking a deep breath, Clarke turns her gaze back to him. “What is your plan?” 

“You're right, we do know this Valley. We know how to live off the land, and we know how to survive the wasteland.” Bellamy glances over at the people out there. “We have information about the end of the world, we have skills to be useful, and you're a doctor, so you're valuable.” 

“I'm not—” 

“They don't know that, do they?” 

“Okay, so—so, you want to  _ share?”  _ Clarke asks, absolutely baffled. 

Bellamy shrugs. “Why not? Maybe they'll even help us get the bunker open.” 

“What's stopping them from taking whatever they want and killing us?” Clarke whispers. 

“I'm hoping for a strong moral code and a leader who doesn't want war,” Bellamy admits quietly. He leans forward and kisses her forehead. “I'm going to be myself and do better, and I'm going to hope that these people will do what's right. And, if not, then we kill them all.” 

Clarke licks her lips, nodding. “Okay, but we don't have that much leverage. If things go wrong, what do we do about Madi?” 

“Madi will never be in any danger, and neither will you,” Bellamy says calmly. He watches her eyes widen and shakes his head when she starts to open her mouth. “No, Clarke, I'm not going to take this chance with you two at my side. You're going to stay on this ridge to watch, and if things go wrong, I'll take as many of them out as I can. You'll play it smart from there, I know you will.” 

“Are you  _ insane?”  _ Clarke's eyes are about to roll out of her head, and she's turning red with obvious fury. “I didn't like the plan  _ before  _ you suggested you go in and possibly  _ die!  _ What makes you think I'm going to agree to this?” 

“I think that because our child  _ needs  _ you,” Bellamy says softly. She jerks back like she's been slapped, a heavier sheen of tears forming over her eyes, and he sighs. “You know I'm right.” 

“Madi needs you too, Bellamy,” Clarke whispers, her voice cracking.  _ “I  _ need you.” 

Bellamy quirks a small smile. “Then they better hope they don't kill me, huh? Because god help them if they do.” 

“I can't let you do this,” Clarke declares sharply, shaking her head. 

“You can't stop me,” Bellamy murmurs. 

With that, he surges forward and kisses her. He kisses her hard, kisses her like he'll never get the chance again, kisses her like there is no tomorrow to look forward to and this is his last goodbye. He forces himself not to melt into it like every cell in his body urges him to, and he just breathes her in one more time, in case it might be the last. She clings to him, instinctively knowing that when he pulls away, he will leave. 

The moment he breaks the kiss, she clenches her eyes closed and says, “Bellamy, please…” 

“I love you,” he tells her. 

Then, with one last inhale through his nose, he rips himself away from her, leaving his gun and the woman he loves behind. 

* * *

It's strange hearing voices that don't belong to Clarke and Madi. It's almost alien, really, and he simply pauses to listen for a moment. He can't hear what anyone is saying, just the rise and fall of their voices past the trees he uses for cover. 

His heart is racing. 

Everything in him is demanding he go back and get his rifle. His hands itch for the weight of a weapon in his hand, but he forces himself not to give in. 

Licking his lips, he takes a deep breath and stands up. Carefully, he heads towards the voices, slowly walking out from the edge of the woods with his hands held up. He scans the people before they notice him, his heart speeding up even  _ more,  _ somehow, at the number of guns. All it would take is one stray bullet, one wrong move. 

The moment he's spotted, the yelling starts. The first person to see him is a man with long, stringy hair and tattoos all over his face and hands. He shouts something unintelligible and swings his gun up, pointing it at Bellamy, and it's only seconds before every gun is trained on him. 

“Woah, easy,” Bellamy says carefully, coming to a halt and working to breathe through the initial panic of being so close to death. 

“Don't shoot! Do  _ not  _ shoot!” The woman who seemed to be directing everyone steps forward, her own gun in hand, though she doesn't lift it. There's a distinct lack of warmth in her gaze that's not encouraging, but she does hold up a hand to stall the men as she approaches. “So, it looks like this place isn't free real estate after all.”

“I'm unarmed,” Bellamy states, holding the woman's gaze. “I'm not here to harm anyone.” 

“No, I don't guess you are,” the woman murmurs, flicking her gaze over him. 

The man dressed differently than everyone else grunts. “Colonel, he might know—”

“Yes, Shaw, I'm aware,” the colonel cuts the man off, tilting her chin up. She sweeps her calculating gaze over the woods he just stepped out of, her lips tipping down. “Are you alone?” 

Bellamy doesn't even hesitate, knowing better than to give away weakness early on. “I'm afraid I can't tell you. But I can promise you that I'm not going to do anything stupid.” 

“You just can't tell me if there are others out there who might,” the colonel says coolly, her gaze pinned on him. “Either there are people out there right now that you want to protect, or there is no one and you just want us to think there might be.” 

“I'll tell you when I feel safe,” Bellamy says simply, staring right at her. 

The colonel holds his gaze for a moment, then looks over at her men, jerking her head slightly. It takes a long,  _ long  _ pause for them to lower their guns, and even then, many of them look pissed about it. But they do it, and that's enough for Bellamy. He can work with that. 

“Safe yet?” she asks. 

“Feeling safer,” Bellamy admits. “My name is Bellamy Blake. Yours?” 

The woman eyes him, crossing her arms. “Diyoza. Tell me, Bellamy Blake, just what are you hoping to achieve by coming out here? Tactically, it's not smart to march right up to strangers who are armed and dangerous.” 

“Maybe, but I'm kind of taking a chance here on you, Diyoza.” Bellamy smiles wryly at her, his skin prickling, demanding he see the amount of problems in front of him right now. He forces himself to stay relaxed and calm. “I think it would be beneficial for me to get to know you, and for you to get to know me.” 

“And why do you think that?” Diyoza asks, looking at him like she can draw out all his secrets with her gaze alone. 

Bellamy takes a deep breath, then releases it. “I have lived here in this Valley for six years. It's my home. I know the land, I know the wasteland around it, and I know how to survive. I also know how the world got this way, and I'm more than willing to tell you.” He pauses, trying to force the words out, even if it feels like the last thing he wants to do, like a betrayal. “There is also...medical experience. Here.” 

Diyoza stays still, not reacting, and he's starting to think that her being immobile  _ is  _ a reaction. “You have a doctor.” 

Not, “You  _ are  _ a doctor.”  _ Have.  _

“I don't see you as intruders,” Bellamy says carefully. “I watched you come off your ship. You're all relieved to be here. You just want to survive. Believe it or not, I know exactly what that feels like, and I know the lengths people will go to do it. And, truth be told, I know the aftermath of those lengths.” 

“You've been to war,” Diyoza murmurs. She tilts her head slightly, staring at him. “You have no desire to go to another one, do you?” 

Bellamy shakes his head. “No, I don't, and I'm hoping like hell that you don't either.” 

“Well,” Diyoza says softly, “today is your lucky day, Bellamy Blake. I've had enough war to last me a lifetime.” She slips her gun into her holster and turns to look over her shoulder. “Shaw, go get this man something to drink. Let's be  _ neighborly.”  _

“Diyoza,” a man protests in a hiss, his eyes a little wild as he leans towards her. 

Diyoza whips her head around to glare at him, her eyes cold. “I said what I said, McCreary. This man has done nothing wrong, and we will treat him kindly until he gives us a reason to otherwise. Do you have a problem with that?” 

“Yes, I  _ do,”  _ McCreary snaps. “I say we kill this fucker right here, right now.” 

_ “I  _ say, keep talking like that, and you'll be the only person who dies,” Diyoza tells him. She leans forward, her lips curling up into a humorless smirk. “Don't fight me on this, McCreary, because I can and will kill you.” 

“So, like, alcohol or just...water?” Shaw asks awkwardly, pursing his lips. 

Bellamy clears his throat. “Actually, I'm not really thirsty, but thank you. The Valley has plenty of water sources. I'm more interested in sitting down and figuring out how to come to some kind of agreement.” 

“I'm not interested in a war, Bellamy, but I'm still waiting for a reason that we should come to an agreement.” Diyoza slowly looks away from McCreary, staring at him. “The way it looks to me is that you're alone right now. I could kill you where you stand and take whatever I want. So, tell me, why shouldn't I?” 

“I guess for whatever reason you haven't yet,” Bellamy replies sardonically, arching an eyebrow. “I don't know what you need yet, but my guess is, you need  _ something.  _ I'll do my best to help you get whatever it is.” 

“Why?” Diyoza asks. 

Bellamy holds her gaze. “Because you can kill me where I stand and take whatever you want.” 

“Not the strongest start to a working relationship, but I've gone on less.” Diyoza tilts her head again, this time in the opposite direction. “And my guess is, you want something for us in return.” 

“I'd appreciate it, but that can come later. For now, my main request is peace,” Bellamy murmurs, slowly lowering his hands, letting them hang limply at his sides. “This Valley is very large, Colonel Diyoza. I can help you and your people have a life here. It won't be cramped, you will  _ thrive  _ here, and maybe our working relationship can grow warmer with time.” 

Diyoza smiles, but it lacks kindness. “I don't really  _ do  _ warm, Bellamy. But, I've got to admit, your hopeful outlook is entertaining.” She hums and nods at the woods behind him. “You say this place is large. How large? If you had to guess, how many people could live here?” 

Bellamy blinks. “Tens of thousands, I'd guess. With some building and some time, this entire Valley could be land for someone.” 

“You already have a home here.” 

“Yes.” 

“And you're just going to allow me and my people to invade it?” Diyoza asks, raising her eyebrows. 

“I won't lie and say I'm excited about it, but it's better than the alternative.” 

“Which is?” 

Bellamy sighs softly. “War.” 

Diyoza laughs quietly, her hand briefly resting on her belly. Her eyes remain cold and full of hard distrust. “You have seen things, haven't you? Or, no,  _ done  _ things, I'd guess.” 

“Something like that,” Bellamy mutters, flicking his gaze down to her hand. It falls away a moment later, and he drags his gaze back to her face. She's gone very still again, and yes, that's definitely a reaction. “I can tell you the whole story if you're interested. But, before I show you my home, I would appreciate coming to an agreement.” 

“What are your terms?” Diyoza asks. 

“The most important is the promise that no one will die,” Bellamy states immediately. He goes tense under her gaze, swallowing. “No one.” 

Diyoza arches an eyebrow, openly skeptical. “Would you offer me the same?” 

“Yes,” Bellamy says seriously. 

“And why should I trust your word? For that matter, why should you trust mine?”

“Not going to lie, I was hoping you'd inspire more confidence, but I'll take what I can get. If we don't start off taking a chance to trust each other, we'll never have it.  _ I  _ know my word is good. Now I just have to hope yours is, too.” 

Diyoza hums, glancing around at all the people shifting fearlessly beside her. “This is what I will offer you. We will keep our guns, we will defend ourselves if someone attacks, but we will  _ not  _ attack first. There are some people who are...a bit outside of that promise, but I am willing to explain that, as well as share how we handle it.” 

“Okay,” Bellamy says slowly, his eyebrows dipping together. “I also need a promise that you won't steal from my home. I will help you and your people get food and water, and there will be shelter. But six years is a long time, and I've earned the things that are mine.” 

“What if we want it really,  _ really  _ badly?” McCreary asks, his lip curling up in a snarl. 

Bellamy looks at him. “Then I imagine you'll have to ask your leader here for permission before you steal it. My hope is she'll tell you no.” 

McCreary swings his gun up so fast that Bellamy barely has time to flinch before it's aimed directly at him. “What does permission mean to a group of murderers and thieves? If you think for a  _ second  _ that she can stop—” 

The resounding gunshot that sounds out makes Bellamy tense up and slam his eyes closed. He knows—just  _ knows  _ it—that he's dead, but then he's not, and he opens his eyes. McCreary is slumped over on the ground, part of his shaved head missing from where a bullet tore through it. 

For a second, Bellamy's heart drops.  _ Clarke,  _ he thinks frantically. Why would she do that? How could she jeopardize  _ everything  _ like—

“Don't mind him,” Diyoza says calmly, slipping her gun back into her holster. “Just a feeling, but I'm sure he won't be a problem anymore.” 

The group around her shifts restlessly again, sharing wary looks, and Shaw takes a step closer to Diyoza. Bellamy waits for a war to break out right in front of him, for these people to riot, because it's clear that some of them were more loyal to McCreary than her. But the moment stretches on, and no one says a word. 

Bellamy supposes that there's no point in being loyal to a dead man. He rips his gaze from McCreary and looks at Diyoza. “If it makes you feel any better, you're not the first group of murderers and thieves to come to the ground.” 

“What happened to the first?” Shaw asks, his eyes lighting up with curiosity. 

“Most of them died,” Bellamy says bluntly, watching Shaw blink. Despite himself, he can feel his lips curling up. “But some of them survived.”

“Which were you? Murderer or thief?” Diyoza asks him, her eyes latched onto him. She doesn't look curious the same way Shaw does—there is no light in her gaze. 

“Back then? Neither.” 

“And now?”

Bellamy holds her gaze. “Both.” 

* * *

Bellamy stares as Diyoza leans back in the chair across from him, her radio cradled lightly in her hand. Shaw isn't even looking at his computer, too busy staring at Bellamy in astonishment. Diyoza seems to have a better handle on her shock, and Bellamy's not even sure if she  _ is _ shocked. 

“Well,” Diyoza says finally, “that's some story.” 

“Try living it,” Bellamy says quietly. 

Diyoza hums. “In my own ways, I have. War is something I'm intimately familiar with.” She looks over at Shaw. “I want a moment alone.” 

“I…” Shaw throws Bellamy a hesitant look, then blinks rapidly as if he's disappointed in himself. Clearing his throat, he stands. “Okay.” 

“Let the negotiations begin,” Diyoza says the moment the door shuts behind Shaw. 

Bellamy leans forward, looking into her eyes, then glancing down to the every so slight hump of her stomach. He can't be sure, but he  _ hopes.  _ Just like he hopes his next words won't be a mistake. 

“I have a child,” Bellamy says softly. He watches Diyoza for any reaction, but she gives none. Desperation colors his tone. “Please, I  _ have  _ to know that she's going to be safe. Before anyone else, I need to know  _ she  _ will be okay. Tell me you understand that and respect it.” 

Diyoza watches him for a long moment, then she carefully nods. “I do understand. I won't lie to you and say that some of these people here aren't dangerous. They are. Some of them would be willing to kill a child, maybe worse. They won't because I'll tell them not to, but these people are quick to anger and quicker to react.” 

“I'll kill anyone who touches her,” Bellamy says without an ounce of hesitation. “I'm telling you that as a courtesy.” 

“If someone has intent to harm a child, then they deserve to die.” Diyoza dips her head, a touch of warmth to her eyes now. “I would do the same.” 

Bellamy swallows, some tension slowly seeping out of his shoulders. “So we agree that anyone who makes a move to harm any child should be handled, and that it is not seen as breaking trust.”

“I agree,” Diyoza says accordingly, arching an eyebrow as she touches her stomach again for just a second. “No killing, unless someone tries to harm a child, and no looting. Those are fair, humane terms. Anything else?” 

“We can sort out the details of sharing and coexisting later,” Bellamy murmurs. He threads his fingers together. “What are  _ your  _ terms?” 

“The same as yours,” Diyoza tells him, waving a hand casually. 

Bellamy huffs a short laugh, raising his eyebrows at her. “Okay, so what do you need, then?” 

“You first.” Diyoza raises her eyebrows right back, stubbornness shining through. 

“You mentioned that you were miners,” Bellamy murmurs. “Those people in the bunker that I told you about. I want you to get them out.” 

“In other words, you want me to provide you with  _ more  _ people that could potentially put me and mine in danger?” Diyoza asks. 

Bellamy swallows. “That's my request. If you want me to consider yours, you have to consider mine.”

Diyoza’s lips twitch. “You're a strong negotiator, I'll give you that. Tell me, this bunker of yours, are there doctors in it?” 

“Yes.” Bellamy flicks his gaze down to Diyoza’s stomach again. “And, like I said, there's medical experience here in the Valley as well. I can see to it that you are looked at, even before you get into the bunker.” He drags his gaze back up to hers, smiling slightly. “I'd be happy to help you.” 

“You misunderstand,” Diyoza murmurs, tilting her head again. She looks like a bird with a real critical eye, like she's seconds from poking away at his brain. “The doctor isn't for just me. I need it for most of those murderers and thieves and  _ worse  _ out there. They're sick.” 

Bellamy frowns. “I...am not sure if they can be healed, because I don't know the situation, but I can promise that the doctor's will  _ try.”  _

“I need better than that.” 

“You know I can't give better. I won't make a promise I can't fulfill, not when a failure could cause a war. I've been there before, and I know how that goes. Doctor's aren't miracle workers, but the ones I know, even the ones in the bunker, have performed near-miracles before. I can only promise that they'll do their best.” 

“And that's a promise you can fulfill on the behalf of people who aren't even here?” Diyoza asks him, studying him curiously. 

Bellamy nods firmly. “They're my people. I know them. They'll do their best; that, I  _ can _ promise.”

“If I'm going to be bringing your people to the Valley,” Diyoza says calmly, her calculating gaze piercing, “you should know that I intend to bring more of mine as well.” 

“More?” Bellamy blinks. “You have more people?”

“Nearly three hundred.” Diyoza leans forward slightly, lips curling up. “Does that bother you?”

Bellamy thinks about the twelve hundred people stuck beneath the ground, and it's not even a lie when he looks at her and says, “No, it doesn't.” 

“Good,” Diyoza murmurs, leaning back once again. “In that case, I'm willing to fulfill your request if you promise to fulfill yours.” 

“As a sign of goodwill, can my—” Bellamy cuts himself off, throat clamping shut.  _ Trust,  _ he thinks firmly, releasing a deep breath. “Will you allow the one with the medical experience to check on you and your baby?” 

Diyoza stares at him for a long moment, then slowly nods. “I will. Though, I must admit, I can't help but wonder how bad things were before, especially if you're fighting so hard for peace.” 

“You have no idea.” Bellamy averts his eyes, swallowing thickly. “If we can coexist with no bloodshed, then that's what I want.” 

“This can be a utopia,” Diyoza murmurs, gesturing vaguely in the direction of the bay doors of the ship they're in. “If we're careful.” 

Bellamy smiles sadly and looks at her. “That's the problem, Colonel. Humans are rarely careful.” 

“Don't I know it.” Diyoza looks at him for a moment longer, then blows out a deep breath, pushing to her feet. “Alright, let's get this going. I'm going to go make an announcement to my people, set the ground rules, and then you'll lead us to your Village. From there, I will allow your doctor of the Valley to examine me, we will write out the rules, and  _ then  _ I will see to it that your people are saved from the bunker. Deal?” 

“Deal,” Bellamy says instantly, holding out his hand respectfully. 

Diyoza stares at his hand for a beat, then reaches out and claps her hand to his forearm, holding it briefly while she nods. 

It feels like a promise. 

* * *

A lot of people seem dissatisfied with Diyoza’s announcement at first, some even speaking out in anger. She proceeds to shoot another man in the head, then gives a harsh speech about learning to shut the fuck up and do what she says, a speech that somehow ends up being slightly inspiring in the end. Only about half look inspired, though. 

However, their annoyance with her rules go away the moment Bellamy leads them into the Village. A quiet falls over the large group, and he glances over to see a lot of people staring in wide-eyed wonder. Even Diyoza looks a little lighter as she gazes around at everything. 

Bellamy steps up on one of the tables, clearing his throat and yelling, “Clarke! It's okay, you can come out now!” 

Everyone stares at him like he's gone crazy, right up until Clarke silently steps from the woods. She has a tight grip on her rifle, a tension in her jaw, and her blue eyes are sharp. A man sees the gun in her hand and swings his up, leading to many more doing the same, and Clarke is clearly about to lift hers, so Bellamy jumps down from the table to approach her with wide eyes. 

“Stand down!” Diyoza bellows, glaring around at everyone like they're the most disappointing thing she's ever seen in her life. 

Clarke doesn't lift her gun, but her eyes also do not soften when Bellamy steps in front of her, reaching out to smooth his hands down her arms. Through her teeth, she grits out, “I am very angry with you right now.” 

“I know that,” Bellamy mumbles, throwing a look over his shoulder. Diyoza is clearly watching them, shamelessly listening to their conversation. “You know I did the right thing.” 

Clarke isn't stupid. “What are their terms?” 

“We'll get into that, I promise,” Bellamy says softly, rubbing her arms a little harder. Clarke is barely paying attention to him, her glare sweeping across the new group. “Hey, look at me.  _ Look at me, Clarke.”  _ She does, and he raises his eyebrows at her. “Everyone here is under the same understanding that anyone who  _ ever  _ acts like they'll harm  _ any  _ child will die. That's a term for both of us. Freedom to kill anyone who tries to harm a child. Okay?” 

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Clarke asks, staring at him incredulously. 

Bellamy coughs slightly. “Well...yeah.” 

“I don't want to  _ kill,  _ Bellamy,” Clarke snaps, jerking away from him. “I want there to be no chance of me having to.” 

“Stop it,” Bellamy says firmly, stepping forward and snatching her against his chest. He places his lips next to her ear, his next words soft so only she can hear. “The leader is  _ pregnant,  _ Clarke.” 

Clarke goes still. Slowly, she pulls away and stares up at him, her lips parted. “Oh.” 

“Yeah,” Bellamy says dryly,  _ “oh.”  _

“That still—” Clarke cuts herself off and releases a slow breath. She closes her eyes briefly, then nods jerkily. “Fine.  _ Fine.  _ I'm going to trust  _ you,  _ Bellamy. Please don't make me regret it.” 

Bellamy grins at her weakly and presses a quick kiss to her forehead. “I'll do my best. Now, go get Madi, bring her here.” 

“I don't want to do that,” Clarke tells him softly, flicking her gaze to the group again. 

“I know,” Bellamy murmurs. “We need to, though. It's necessary if we're going to do this, and Clarke, we  _ have  _ to do this.” 

“We always have to.” Clarke glares at him for a moment longer, then surges forward suddenly and kisses him, just a harsh kiss that makes him blink in shock when she pulls away. After, she glares at him harder, as if she's angrier somehow. “Thank you for not dying, but to be clear, never do that to me again. _Never.”_

Bellamy clears his throat. “Right, got it.” 

“Still pissed at you,” Clarke mutters, then turns around and jogs right back into the woods without looking back. 

He stares after her, half-amused and half-worried. It hits him all over again how strong she is, how  _ smart  _ she is, and how much he loves her. He can only hope that she relaxes with time, that she won't cause any chaos, that this can work. It didn't for the first time, but by god, he's hoping like hell that it will this time. 

He's glad that telling her Diyoza is pregnant helped, though. He knows why it did. As a mother herself, worried for her own child, she can draw some comfort from the fact that Diyoza is prepared to raise a child in the same conditions that Clarke is going to have to. Not only that, but Diyoza’s child will be an infant, helpless compared to Madi. If that won't soothe Clarke, then nothing is going to. 

“I take it your wife isn't exactly happy with you for running right into danger?” Diyoza asks lightly, walking over to stand at his shoulder, her gaze stuck on where Clarke disappeared. 

Bellamy considers correcting her, then decides it's not that much of a stretch, all things considered. And anyway, it sounds nice.  _ My wife,  _ he thinks distractedly. Yeah, it has a nice ring to it. 

“Yeah, she's not jumping for joy about it,” Bellamy says dryly. He shakes his head and turns to focus on the group. “Alright, everyone, I'll give you all the tour. My home is my home for my family, but the empty houses are free game. If you need something, ask.” He looks around at the group, frowning slightly. “There are only two people who've been living in this Valley that can help you—me and Clarke, the blonde woman who just left. Heads up, she will not be putting down her gun anymore than any of you will.” 

“Is she your girl?” A guy from the back steps forward, his lips spreading into a smirk. 

“Ronan, don't be a fuckin’ creep,” a guy in the front mutters, elbowing him. 

Bellamy stares at the first guy, this  _ Ronan.  _ His blood feels like it's boiling. “Let me make something abundantly clear. I don't care if you've gone your whole life without the touch of a woman,  _ no one  _ will disrespect Clarke. If you're desperate for sex, then you fuck each other. If you think she's pretty, she is, but keep your opinions to yourself. Don't touch her unless she says you can, don't make comments or jokes, and don't piss her off.” 

“Yeah?” Ronan raises his eyebrows, smiling and showing yellowed teeth. “What happens if we do?”

“Depends on her mood,” Bellamy says casually, smiling back just as sharply. “She could kick your ass in front of all your buddies, or she could shrug it off and go about her day, or maybe she'll just shoot you in the face. Who knows with her?” 

Diyoza snorts, stepping forward and smirking at Ronan. “Like Joshua said, don't be a creep. If you are, then that's an attack, and she's fit to react accordingly. Keep it in your pants.” 

“Or don't,” a woman says from the side, waving her gun pointedly. “Totally down to fuck, just in case anyone was wondering.” 

“No one was,” Diyoza says dryly. She glances at Bellamy with a sigh. “So, the tour?” 

* * *

Headache. 

That's the only term for these people as a whole. Just a bunch of  _ headaches.  _ Not only do they produce an actual, genuine headache, but they're all also a bit...much. 

There's just too many of them. Too many people all at once—too much movement, too much sound, too much  _ life.  _ He's not used to it, and it puts him on edge, makes him alert and cautious. His home feels too full, and the sad part is, this is his own damn fault. 

Wisely, he doesn't complain about his headache. 

To be fair, not all of these people are  _ that  _ bad. Sure, they're criminals, but who isn't these days? And there are a couple of handfuls that are fairly mild-mannered, such as Shaw and that Joshua guy, for example. But, unfortunately, most of them aren't. Bellamy can't help but think that they'd have preferred the war to this shaky peace. 

Some of them seem to like violence, like the chaotic nature of it. They remind him of Murphy, but  _ way  _ worse and multiplied. They're loud and vulgar, and they seem like they're about to vibrate out of their skin with the need to be destructive. They don't break the rules, though, so that's all that matters. And, despite their grisly appearances and general demeanor, they do seem to relax and let loose as more time passes, seemingly basking in their freedom. 

There are a small few that Bellamy just straight up doesn't like. They make him uncomfortable, and he already knows they're going to be a problem. The people like Victor, the ones in shock collars because they're a more worrying type of threat, mild-mannered in an entirely different way that leaves Bellamy with a sour taste in his mouth and the preference for the chaotic nature of the others. He's not entirely sure what to do about these few, but he doubts Diyoza will let them linger, not if he's reading the glint she gets in her eye anytime she looks at them right. 

True to his word, Bellamy gives everyone a tour and let's them know what's off-limits. People either respect Diyoza or fear her because they keep a wide berth from his home, something he's thankful for. He does tentatively help a few people get settled into some of the houses, just the ones who don't immediately scowl at him as soon as they lay eyes on him. 

Surprisingly, there's not a lot of fighting about who's going to go where. Diyoza takes the house that's closest to Clarke, Madi, and Bellamy’s, and everyone else just disperse themselves. Many of them opt to sleep in the ship until they can actually get their own house built, and there are a few who are fine to just camp on the ground. 

It shocks him more than he's willing to say, but Diyoza just shrugs and says, “There's a hierarchy everywhere, even in prison. Top dogs get top pick, the rest get what's left. Argue, you die. Best just to accept it, you know?” 

Bellamy does know, in a way. He thinks of Commanders, and War Chiefs, and Council members, and Chancellors. He doesn't reply, just nods and moves along. 

It's later when he's in his own home that he gets his first thought that maybe this is a bad idea. There's a knock on his door, and he's  _ immediately  _ not happy about it. He doesn't want people to come here, to knock on his door, to need something from him or want to take his things. On edge and regretting this peace treaty just a bit, he grabs his gun and answers the door. 

“Bellamy, right?” A man leans in the doorway with a frown, his beard so long that it's tucked into his shirt. He idly strokes it. “Name’s Dick. Don't make the joke. Can I ask ya a favor, neighbor?” 

Bellamy glares at him. “You're not my neighbor,  _ Dick.”  _

“According to the Colonel, we're all neighbors in peaceful harmony now.” Dick raises his wiry eyebrows and snorts. “Plus, you're the one who said only you and your wife can answer questions for us. Gotta question.” 

“Make it quick,” Bellamy snaps. 

“So, uh,” Dick mutters, scratching at his beard with another frown, “how do you go fishing without fishing poles?” 

Bellamy blinks. “What?” 

“We got us some rations to last for a bit, but we figured some of us could go ahead and start hauling in some food. Jefferson went out a few minutes ago with a couple others to start snagging fruit, so I thought me and a couple others could go get some fish.” Dick looks even more confused, wildly enough. “Only problem with that is, I haven't seen any poles. You got some to spare, or is there a way you catch fish that I don't know about?” 

“There are traps all over this Valley,” Bellamy says slowly. “Diyoza told everyone this. Literally  _ everyone  _ heard this and agreed to stay in the Village. I was there, I saw it.” 

“Look, asking us to be peaceful to two or three people we could just kill is pushing it, alright?” Dick holds his hands up in surrender, though he's fully grinning now. “M’not saying I agree or disagree, I'm just saying that those are where the chips fell. Now, some of us bitch about it and move on, while some of us figure out ways to do what we want anyway. We won't break the big rules, but the small ones? Can't hurt.” 

Bellamy inhales deeply, waits until he's not about to lose his collective shit, then slowly lets the breath out. “Dick, I need you to understand that if you go out there, you could get injured, or killed. You could  _ actually  _ die.” 

“That's our problem, isn't it?” Dick asks lightly, shrugging. “Can't help us with that. What you  _ can  _ help us do is fish. How do you do that here?” 

“We use spears, or our hands, or we build nets. Mostly the spears, though.” Bellamy raises his eyebrows when Dick looks at him like he's speaking a whole other language. “You know, sharp end goes stab into the fish? You kinda—” He makes a forceful motion with his free hand in a downward arc, “—just  _ jab  _ it. Like that.” 

Dick wrinkles his nose. “You serious, man?” 

“Very.” 

“Right. Well, guess I ought to go gather some wood to make into spears, huh?” 

“Guess so,” Bellamy mutters, rolling his eyes and starting to close the door. 

“Wait.” Dick catches the door with his hand, narrowing his eyes at Bellamy. “You aren't gonna tell Diyoza about this, are you?” 

Bellamy has to bite back a laugh. “Honestly, Dick, I probably should, even just for the sake of your own safety.” 

“But?” Dick prompts. 

“It's kind of a dick move, isn't it?” Bellamy asks casually, keeping his tone even. 

Dick’s face goes blank. “You made a joke about my name. Ha. Great, so funny, haven't heard that one before.  _ Hilarious.”  _

“Glad you were entertained,” Bellamy says flatly. “Now,  _ goodbye.”  _

With that, Bellamy slams the door shut in Dick’s face and pinches the bridge of his nose. Maybe he and Clarke should have tried to kill them all. 

Though, truth be told, it's not as bad as it could be. He would rather hear rowdy laughter from outside than the scream of gunshots and death. It's not going to be easy, he knows that, but it can get better, maybe. God, is this what it feels like to be Kane? Or, well, a Kane who was like  _ this,  _ and not the Kane before he murdered hundreds of people for no reason on the Ark to conserve air. 

Bellamy drops his hand, a lump forming in his throat. To think that so many people had to go through so many horrible things and make countless mistakes just to consider the idea that they could do better… Bellamy is among them. He realizes now how the allure of war works, how it seems like the only path through. It's easier, objectively, because there's one winner in the end who gets what they want—except, in the case of the past wars he participated in, no one won. 

_ Not  _ going to war is the hard choice, really. It's deciding to ignore instincts and coexist with people you'd sacrifice for your own, knowing damn well they could and  _ would _ do the same to you at any moment. It's taking a chance at peace when you've never known it, like stumbling through something that you're not sure about, like putting a target on yourself and those you love and hoping no one will take the shot. 

But, in reality, the absence of war can breed so many positive things. He's seen it, even in brief moments. Hope, harmony, unity. The line between whose people are whose gets blurred, and for some time, you're all just  _ human beings.  _ That's it, and you're all just trying to survive. 

_ Okay,  _ Bellamy thinks wryly,  _ I'm actually starting to sound like Kane now.  _

“Bellamy!” 

The shout is so loud that it echoes, and he's snatching open the door in an instant, gun in hand. The past moment of contemplating the absence of war is gone the moment he hears Clarke scream his name, sounding utterly  _ terrified _ . He is ready to go, ready to burn it all down, right then and there. For her. 

Bellamy barrels off the porch, eyes going wide at the sight of people hovering around Clarke awkwardly, no one holding a gun on her or anything. She's perfectly fine, excluding the fact that she looks panicked. He rushes up to her as Diyoza comes marching through the crowd, her eyes alert, hand on her own gun. 

“Clarke?” Bellamy asks, alarmed. 

“It's  _ Madi,”  _ Clarke whispers, staring into his eyes, her shaking hands coming out to grip his arms tight. “She's just  _ gone,  _ Bellamy.” 

“Gone?” Bellamy goes cold all over, his spine snapping straight. “What do you mean  _ gone?”  _

“She wasn't where we told her to go, so I searched for her, but I can't pick up a trail.” Clarke looks seconds from crying, or going on a murdering rampage, and he's not too far behind. “I have no idea where she is, and I can't  _ find her.”  _

Bellamy's head snaps over to Diyoza, his jaw clenched. “Your people—” 

_ “My  _ people,” Diyoza cuts him off sharply, “are all in this Village. You've been with us this whole time, so you know it wasn't us.”

“Uh.” Dick suddenly shoves forward to eye Diyoza cautiously, awkwardly holding a thin stick that's barely got a point on it. “Actually, we were gonna go out and collect food. Some of us already left to get fruit. Only three. Jefferson, Sarah, and Mike. So, it could have been them.” 

Clarke immediately pulls her gun, going from panic to cold rage in a second, and the only reason she doesn't put a bullet between Dick’s eyes is because Bellamy snatches her hand down before she can. She turns the force of her fury on him, practically vibrating in place. 

“There are three out of camp?” Diyoza asks quietly, an eerily calm to her tone. 

Dick nods. “Nobody mentioned going to hunt a kid down, but I don't know Jefferson all that well, so maybe.” 

“You  _ don't  _ leave camp!” Diyoza bellows, glaring at everyone.  _ “This  _ is why you don't. We do not know the layout, there are traps everywhere, and it puts people at risk! If someone in Eilguis tries to leave camp, you shoot them first and ask questions later. Am I understood?” 

The crowd shares wary looks, but a low murmur of assent passes through them. 

“My child is still  _ missing,”  _ Bellamy snaps, drawing Diyoza’s gaze. “If anything happens to her—” 

“You're going to search for her, right?” Diyoza cuts him off, raising his eyebrows. 

Clarke leans forward. “Of course we are.” 

“In that case,” Diyoza murmurs, turning towards Dick with her eyebrows raised, “you wanted to get out of this Village so bad, here's your chance. You and your group of hungry idiots are going to help Bellamy and Clarke find their child.  _ If  _ that child is found mistreated by our people, shoot our people.  _ If  _ you do not cooperate with Clarke and Bellamy, they are going to shoot you. Clear?” 

Dick sighs. “Crystal.” 

“Everyone else,” Diyoza says, “get back to settling in. We'll be here when you get back.” 

“I'm sure you will be,” Clarke snarls, snatching her gun tighter and whirling around, marching off towards the woods. 

Bellamy holds Diyoza’s gaze. “Get a hold of your people, Colonel Diyoza, or they might just snatch you into another war.” 

Diyoza smiles bitterly. “It's not a war I'll lose, so for your sakes, let's hope I get a hold quickly.” 

He doesn't reply. 

He walks away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I did say we started off with a bang, heh. Thoughts? Let me know! 
> 
> If you enjoyed this chapter, don't hesitate to drop off some kudos and leave a comment; I really do love every single one! I'll see everyone next Friday for Chapter 2 ;) 
> 
> Ta! 
> 
> -SOBS


	2. The Search

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew boi. Okay, soooo, this chapter is A Lot. Like I said, this fic is fast-paced, and it continues to be lol. This chapter is no exception, and it's heavy, to say the least. 
> 
> I will say this. In this fic, I take it a step further and include some POVs outside of Clarke and Bellamy's. Madi, included, as you'll see this chapter. Be mindful of the tags, friends. 
> 
> Warnings for this chap: Madi has to face a harsh reality/tragedy. A mistake happens that she can't take back, and it's Big Sad. 
> 
> Now seems like a good time to point out that I promise Happy Endings, heh. 
> 
> So, yeah...
> 
> Enjoy?

Madi stays hidden until she can't take it anymore. It feels like forever has passed, and neither Clarke or Bellamy have come for her yet. The thought that they  _ can't,  _ that maybe they will never be able to, scares her more than she's prepared for. 

Yesterday was so much easier. 

Madi  _ loves  _ her life. She has food and water, her hobbies and training, Bellamy and Clarke. Admittedly, she's been hoping the others would come at some point. They're her heroes, the legends she grew up on, and she wants to meet them.  _ Especially  _ Octavia. 

That being said, she now knows that things were much simpler before. The moment these new people touched to the ground, it was like Clarke and Bellamy were different. Taller, somehow, tighter voices, haunted eyes, much more serious than usual. Madi doesn't like it. 

More than that, she doesn't like hiding. She wants to be with them, to  _ help.  _ Whatever they're doing, she should be there to help protect them the same way they want to protect her. She can fight, she knows how to use a gun, and she knows this Valley as well as they do, if not  _ more. _

But she hides. 

She does that because they tell her to, and because she's scared of what will happen if she doesn't. She screws her eyes shut beneath the floor, and she counts in her mind, counts all the way to one hundred and then does it again. And again. And  _ again.  _ Over and over, she counts and breathes and waits, her eyes closed. 

Madi can't believe she's here again. It's been over six years since she's had to hide from anything. She'll always remember the feeling of fear as a young child, waiting for things to go wrong, waiting for someone to find her. One day, things did go wrong, and Madi's mother died in her arms.

She doesn't remember her mother's face, but she remembers the weight of her head cradled into her lap. She remembers the stillness of her mother's chest, where she rested her hand and hoped for a heartbeat. She remembers how hard she cried, pleading that her mom would just wake up, but her mom never did. 

Madi can't do that again. She just  _ can't.  _

Clarke and Bellamy are all she has, and she won't lose them. She'll do anything to prevent that. The home doesn't matter, not their things or the memories or any of that, not compared to Clarke and Bellamy. She'd give all of that up if she could have them, and she doesn't understand why they're not so willing. Maybe these people will just leave them alone if they walk away, leave it all behind, start a life somewhere else in the Valley. 

Madi knows Clarke and Bellamy think there are no good guys, but she knows that's not true because  _ they're  _ the good guys. They could have left her to fend for herself when she was six, and it wasn't like she couldn't do it on her own, and she definitely didn't make it easy for them. Yet, they continued to help her, and they've worked hard to give her a good life. 

She's conflicted for a long time, scared to go and make things worse, scared to stay and not be there to help. No one comes, and the silence seems to get louder over time, nearly deafening. It reaches a point that she can barely breathe, her hands over her ears, and she can't take it anymore. She'll just open the hatch a bit, suck in some fresh air, then go back to hiding. 

That's her plan, anyway. 

What happens  _ instead  _ is that she cracks open the hatch and hesitantly peers out. There's no sounds, no people moving through the woods, no talking or shouting in the distance. No one is here, no one is looking for her. Maybe… 

Madi crawls out of the hole, staying light on her feet, gripping her spear tight, her gun a steady weight against her hip. A brief flash of guilt passes through her mind for not staying hidden like she was told, but maybe Bellamy and Clarke need her help. Maybe they can't come tell her that things have gone wrong. Maybe staying hidden isn't the answer, because it certainly wasn't for her mother, and Madi won't let that happen again. 

She doesn't really know what to do at first, but then she decides to go back to the ridge. For all she knows, Bellamy and Clarke are still there. She'd rather find them there and be yelled at for leaving than not going and missing them needing help. Realistically, she  _ knows  _ they wouldn't want her to save them, not at her own risk, but there is no one else. She's all they have. 

So, she carefully makes her way through the woods, her heart racing wildly in her chest. She's on high alert, waiting for any motion or sound, but there's no sign of people here yet. Either they're still where they landed, or they're in a different part of the woods, but either way, she's alone where she is. She covers her tracks anyway, just in case. 

When she makes it to the ridge, her heart drops in her chest as she peers out through the trees. Clarke and Bellamy are not where they were when she last saw them, and there's no sign that they ever were. That's a good thing, right? There's no blood, no sign of a struggle, no bodies. 

When she squints out at where the ship was, her heart drops further. It's gone. Just  _ gone.  _ There's no people here anymore, but she somehow seriously doubts that they just left. 

Madi releases a slow breath and wracks her brain for ideas. “Okay,” she whispers to herself, peering around with wide eyes, “what now?” 

The only place she can think of these people being is at the Village, and if they are, maybe Clarke and Bellamy are as well. She has no choice but to go back home, though she doesn't think she's ready for what she might find. As long as Clarke and Bellamy are alive, though, that's all that matters. That's all she needs. 

It's getting late now, and Madi realizes that she stayed hidden for hours. That only scares her more. A lot of things could have happened in the time that she was tucked under the floor, doing nothing, the same way it happened before. 

Madi’s face twists into a scowl as she takes a deep breath. Right there and then, she internally vows to do whatever it takes to get Clarke and Bellamy back. If they're hurt, or worse, then Madi will make everyone who came down pay for it, and she won't stop until they're handled. 

Just then, she catches sight of movement out of the corner of her eye. She starts to duck down under the cover of the dark, but then quickly realizes that the motion is coming from the  _ sky.  _ Again. This time, however, the ship that's hurtling to the ground is smaller than the one that came earlier, and a spark lights up with her. 

Maybe… 

“Oh,  _ come on,”  _ Madi hisses, grimacing as she watches where the ship is heading. It's going to land in the opposite direction of the village, because  _ of course  _ it is. “You couldn't have landed closer? God, Raven, do better!” 

With a huff, Madi launches to her feet with hope burning in her chest, and she begins to run. 

* * *

Madi has always liked climbing. She gets a high vantage point, and people rarely think to look up. Plus, it's almost like a different world being up in the air, tranquil and calming. 

Even from up here, the ship looks a lot larger than it did when it was falling in the distance. She can barely make it out in the dark, just the outline of its shape. The people who leave it are no better. She watches them walk into the woods, having their own guns, and she can't make out their features or if they're who she wants them to be. 

It's not Raven, though. Madi knows that for sure. Clarke and Bellamy had told her that Raven limps because she has an injury, but none of these people are limping. She can hear them talking in quiet, clipped tones, but no one says a name. She's never heard their voices before, so she has no idea if it's any of the others. 

She  _ needs  _ them to be the others. Because if anyone can save Clarke and Bellamy, it'll be the people that she grew up hearing about. 

With that in mind, Madi takes a deep breath and scurries down from a tree after they're already up ahead. She crouches down and follows behind them, hoping one of them will say a name, give her a clue,  _ something. _ They don't, though, so she creeps closer, hoping to see if she can recognize them by their faces. She's seen drawings of everyone—studied them, really—so, if she could just  _ see  _ them, she  _ knows  _ she'd be able to find out.

Madi sucks in a sharp breath and goes very still when the person at front suddenly stops, holding up their hand. It  _ looks  _ like a girl, but the dark is heavy enough for Madi not to be sure. 

“What?” someone asks softly. 

The person at the front slowly turns around, their hand still held up. “We're being followed. Someone is out here with us. Stay alert.” 

They all go still, looking around, and Madi's heart is about to beat right out of her chest. How did they  _ know?  _ What did she do wrong? It just doesn't make sense. But it's clear that whoever this is knows what they're doing, and the others seem to trust them wholeheartedly because they keep their guns at the ready. It won't be long before they start trying to  _ find  _ her.

Madi is very aware that Clarke and Bellamy would be  _ so pissed  _ if they knew she was about to do this, but she doesn't really have another choice. What she does have, though, is desperate hope. 

“Don't shoot,” Madi calls out shakily, slowly stepping out from behind the shelter of trees to walk forward carefully. 

She goes very still when they all whip around to point their guns at her, and for the first time in six years, she's actually scared she's going to die. The fear hits her so hard that she feels like she's about to vomit, but she swallows it down and forces herself not to cry. She can be strong like Clarke, steady like Bellamy, she  _ can.  _

“Wait,  _ wait,  _ it's just a kid,” comes a male voice, and all the guns slowly lower. 

Madi exhales and ignores her own trembling legs to step forward some more, squinting at them until she's close enough to see their features. And  _ yes,  _ it's—it's them! Some of them, but still. She recognizes Emori’s face tattoo immediately, and Harper’s gentle smile is even kinder in person, and Monty’s hair is shorter than it was, and Echo isn't wearing face paint, but it's  _ them.  _

“Echo,” Madi says in relief, seeing her at the front of the group, “I'm so glad you're all here. Bellamy and Clarke knew you'd all come.” 

With that, she launches herself forward and wraps her arms around Echo without another thought. She can't help it, can't stop the tremble of relief that runs through her. They'll help her, she just knows they will, and now she knows that Clarke and Bellamy will have them as well. 

Echo is very stiff, her body leaning back slightly like she's under attack, but she doesn't push Madi away. In fact, she carefully pats Madi’s shoulder and clears her throat. When Madi pulls back, her hope and determination renewed, Echo shares a look with the others. 

“Did you say Bellamy and Clarke?” Monty asks carefully, his eyes a little wide. 

Madi nods seriously. “They need your help.  _ I  _ need your help.”

Harper steps forward. “They're alive?  _ How?”  _

“That's impossible,” Emori murmurs. 

“No, it's  _ not,  _ and it's also not what's important right now,” Madi says sharply. She forcefully tugs on Echo’s hand. “Please, these people showed up, and now they're missing. We  _ have  _ to save them.” 

“Okay, stop,” Echo says firmly, and Madi does because her voice is strong and stern, making her pause on instinct. “We need information. First, what is your name, and how do you know us?” 

Madi sighs heavily and rolls her eyes. “Fine, but can we walk and talk? We should head to the Rover; that's where the guns are.” 

“Rover?” Monty repeats incredulously. 

Echo stares at her. “What is your  _ name?”  _

“My name is Madi, and I know all of you because Clarke and Bellamy told me stories about all of you. Now, can we  _ go?”  _ Madi mutters. 

“I'm still so confused,” Monty admits. 

“Look, the longer we stand here and do  _ nothing,  _ the more time Clarke and Bellamy could be hurt or worse,” Madi snaps, a little fed up that they're not listening to her. “If you want answers, then follow me, but  _ come on.”  _

“How did Bellamy and Clarke find time to have a kid?” Harper hisses. 

Monty throws her a look. “Why don't we figure out how they survived the death wave before we start wondering about that?” 

Harper shrugs. “I'm just  _ saying.”  _

Madi glares at all of them furiously, then turns and marches into the woods. She gets a few steps away before she hears them jogging to keep up with her, and the anger burning at the back of her throat quells a bit. She knows they must be confused, and she gets it, but she doesn't really care about their questions right now. 

“You said Bellamy and Clarke are alive,” Echo says quietly, her eyes scanning the forest dutifully, even as she lets Madi take the lead. “How?” 

Madi heaves a sigh. “You're  _ Echo kom Azgeda,  _ so you of all people should know how.” 

“Nightblood,” Emori mutters carefully. “Looks like it can survive  _ Praimfaya  _ after all.” 

“How old are you?” Harper asks politely. 

Emori snorts. “Oh, come on, there's no way she's  _ their  _ kid. She's too old for that to be possible.” 

“I'm twelve,” Madi says softly, “and I'm theirs. They raised me.” 

“Bellamy didn't have nightblood,” Echo continues, blatantly ignoring the others as she stares right at Madi. “The radiation should have killed him.” 

Madi frowns at her. “Clarke gave him nightblood so it wouldn't. Isn't that part obvious?” 

“Kid's got a point,” Emori mutters dryly. 

Monty shoves forward to walk beside Madi, looking down at her. “She gave him her own bone marrow? How? Who did the procedure?” 

“She did.” Madi frowns harder when everyone slows and looks at each other. “What? What is it?”

“Nothing,” Echo says quickly. She picks up the pace, nodding at Madi. “Okay, so they survived  _ Praimfaya _ because of nightblood. And you?” 

“They found the Valley,  _ this  _ Valley,” Madi mutters carefully, waving her hand around. “ _ Praimfaya  _ just sort of...jumped right over it. I was here when that happened, and they came later. They took me in and raised me.” 

“For six years,” Harper murmurs, shaking her head slowly. “I can't even imagine.” 

“We were  _ fine,”  _ Madi says harshly. “We were happy before those people came down here. Clarke thought it was you at first, and we were excited, but it wasn't.” She glances around at everyone, frowning. “Also, where is Murphy and Raven? I thought they'd be here.” 

“The ship that came down here was an Eligius prison transport ship. The people that came down were some of the worst criminals from one hundred years ago,” Monty explains. “They were kept in cryo and eventually abandoned after a revolt. Raven and Murphy stayed behind to get us to the ground, and they're monitoring the three hundred  _ other  _ criminals in cryo.” 

Madi comes to a screeching halt, slowly turning to stare at Monty with wide eyes. “Worst criminals?” she repeats softly. “These people have Clarke and Bellamy. When they touched down, Clarke and Bellamy made me go hide, but they never came back for me, and they  _ would  _ if they could. So, that means they can't, and they—” 

Madi doesn't even realize she's panicking and crying until Monty steps forward and puts his hand on her shoulder. He pulls her close, and she closes her eyes, breathing him in. He smells like something from another world, metallic and sharp, probably from the rocket he just exited, but he's warm and rubbing soothing circles in her back. He's as kind as Madi grew up hearing about, and that helps her relax even more.

“We'll get them back, I promise,” Monty says softly, gently pushing her back to smile at her. He kneels down to look her in her eyes. “First, you have to tell us where they could be. You know this land well, I'm guessing, so you're going to have to help us if we can help you. Okay?” 

Madi swallows and nods. “Okay.” 

* * *

The Rover is still in the same spot that it was left, but the others seem reluctant to use it. They all stop there, quietly arguing about whether they should use the Rover or take a more silent approach. Madi doesn't care how they do it as long as it gets done, so she watches them all avidly as they go over plans. 

It's strange, but she feels a little shy. These people are her  _ heroes.  _ She's heard so many stories about all of them, grew up on their greatest hits, obsessed with their pasts. They're like living, breathing legends. If not for the fact that Clarke and Bellamy are missing, she's sure she'd be more starstruck than she is currently. 

While Monty and Emori lightly bicker, Echo approaches her and looks at her with a curious glint in her eye, tilting her head. 

“What?” Madi asks cautiously. 

Echo waits a beat, then murmurs, “How come you knew me? Monty, Harper, and Emori I get, but I don't understand how you recognized me.” 

“Clarke's drawn you a couple of times.” Madi frowns at her. “They've told me stories about you. Why wouldn't I recognize you?” 

“They told you about me?” Echo’s face goes blank, her eyes empty of emotion. 

Madi frowns harder. “Yes…” she ventures slowly, cautiously. “You're a great  _ Azgeda  _ warrior, right? King Roan’s second. You...always fought to save your people.” 

“That's what they told you?” Echo asks her carefully. “Nothing else?” 

“Well, they also said you did some pretty sketchy shit,” Madi admits, wrinkling her nose. “But they also said that everyone did, and you were just like everyone, trying to do the best for your people.” 

Echo stares at her, then sighs. “I see.” 

Madi swallows, her voice getting smaller. “I always wished you'd come down and train me. Bellamy and Clarke said you were a good fighter, so I always thought—I don't know.” She holds Echo’s gaze. “They didn't tell me everything, I know that, but I don't think the mistakes really matter anymore. Not to them, at least.” 

“They'll always matter,” Echo says, her tone borderline cold. 

“Six years is a very long time,” Madi replies quietly, her eyebrows drawing together. “Help me get them back and you'll see.” 

Echo’s lips curl up just slightly, only a bit, then her face is blank all over again. “You have misunderstood me, Madi. The mistakes always matter; if not to anyone else, then to me. Don't worry, we'll get Bellamy and Clarke back.” 

“And we have an idea how to do that,” Harper pipes up, walking away from the Rover to smile, unapologetic for eavesdropping. 

Madi perks up. “Great. What's the plan?” 

“You're staying behind with the Rover,” Monty says, crossing his arms. 

_ “What?”  _ Madi balks, her eyes bulging. She goes from calm to spitting mad in a split second, her eyes narrowed into slits. “I am  _ not—”  _

“Bellamy and Clarke would want you safe,” Harper says gently. “I know that seems unfair, but if we're going to help them, then we have to do what's best for you, too.” 

“No!” Madi bursts out, nearly vibrating in place as she whips her head between everyone. She turns her glare to Echo. “You can't agree with this!”

Echo sighs. “Even if I didn't, this is a democracy and I appear to be outvoted already. However, I  _ do  _ agree with it. You'll be a distraction, Madi, and you could be in potential danger.” 

“I don't  _ care  _ about danger!” Madi explodes, mortified to feel frustrated tears gather in her eyes. “Please, I can't just—just sit back and wait again. I can't do that.” 

“We will bring them back here, I promise,” Emori says gently. She steps forward and offers Madi a small smile. “It's better if—” 

Madi wrenches backwards when Emori reaches out like she's going to touch her. Her heart is pounding in her ears, and she  _ refuses  _ to hide away again. “You made me tell you everything and draw a map just so you could leave me. You've been planning this the whole time. But I'm not staying behind. You can't make me!” 

“Listen to me,” Monty says gently, staring at her with an apologetic expression, “Clarke and Bellamy would never forgive us for putting you in any danger. It's been six years, but if we know anything about them, it's that they wouldn't want someone they love to risk their lives for them,  _ especially  _ not a—their child.” 

“I'm not  _ just  _ a child,” Madi snarls. “I can fight! I have a gun, I have—” 

“Not anymore,” Echo says shortly, stepping forward and holding up Madi’s gun  _ and  _ spear. Somehow, in the midst of her anger, Echo managed to steal them right off of her without her even noticing. “You're staying here.” 

Madi tilts up her chin, furious. “And if I don't?” 

“If you want us to find them, then you'll stay,” Echo tells her, not an ounce of sympathy in her gaze. “Either you go alone and potentially lose them, or you stay and let us handle it.” 

“Try again,” Madi snaps, snorting derisively. “I know none of you would ever do that. It's not  _ right,  _ and you're the good guys.” 

Echo blinks, looking a little lost at those words for a second, then she sighs. “In that case, please remember that, even after this.” 

“After what?” Madi asks. “What are you—” 

Her words cut off in a yelp when Echo lashes out quickly, so fast that Madi barely sees it. One second, she's standing there, vibrating in fury, and the next, she's wrapped up in Echo’s tight grip. She kicks out, trying to scream, but Echo just claps a hand on her mouth and drags her over to the Rover. Grimacing, Harper holds open the door while Monty and Emori help Echo stuff her inside, both of them looking regretful. Echo shoves her in, her face and gaze empty, and they all slam the door. 

Madi immediately launches herself against the door, yanking on the handle, but Monty has apparently figured out some way to seal the doors. She smacks her hand against the window, yelling at them, and Echo simply holds up the keys. 

They didn't even leave her the damn keys. 

“Don't leave me here!” Madi shouts, pressing up against the door as they start backing up. “Please!  _ Please  _ don't leave me! Don't make me hide!” 

They don't listen, just walk off through the trees, leaving her behind without another glance. She bangs against the door, but she knows they can't hear her anymore. Still, she rages against her cage, throwing herself up against the door until her body aches and she gives up. 

That's when she cries. 

The tears finally fall, and Madi slumps back against the seat, dropping her head into her hands as she starts to sob. Her body shudders with it, her nails pulling at her hair, and she can barely breathe around her clogged throat. 

How could they do this to her? This isn't how it's supposed to be. Clarke and Bellamy might  _ need  _ her, and she won't be there. The others just left her, like she's not useful, like she doesn't deserve to help her own parents. But, if anyone doesn't, it's  _ them.  _ They've been gone six years, they know  _ nothing,  _ and—and they're not… 

They're not good people. 

They can't be, not if they just forced her into the Rover and left her behind. No matter their good intentions, what they did was  _ wrong.  _ It hurts to realize, to think that the people she believed to be heroes are failing her now. They don't know Clarke and Bellamy, don't know that they'd want her to come, to be there when they were saved. 

She is so angry that it hurts. She feels betrayed and weak after they just thrust her in the Rover without batting an eye. Even if they bring Clarke and Bellamy back to her, she doesn't think she's going to forgive them for a long time.

And, if they don't save Clarke and Bellamy, she knows that she won't  _ ever  _ forgive them. 

* * *

Echo very firmly doesn't think about the sound of Madi screaming as she picks her way through the woods. This isn't the time for it, nor is it the place. This requires all of her focus. 

Back on the ground and they're already roped into a rescue mission. She shouldn't expect anything less, really, but she certainly wishes it were different. She'd wish that others hadn't arrived before they did, but they were their ride here, so there's no point in empty desires. 

Echo remembers her first few years on the ring. She'd desperately missed the ground. Being in Space comes with an otherworldly,  _ wrong  _ feeling that only Emori had seemed to understand. The others, they came  _ from _ Space, so they didn't get it. And, for all that Emori could relate, she adjusted a lot quicker than Echo did. 

Those first few years, Echo would have preferred  _ Praimfaya  _ to the ring, but with time comes a changing heart. Space became her temporary home, one she was thankful for, and those up there with her became her family. It was hard, but they all did it because they had no other choice. 

Being back has her remembering things she didn't realize she forgot. The feeling of fresh, earthy air that she inhales. The smell of plants and flowers. The distant sounds of running water from streams. The creaking of the trees. 

A child screaming. 

Echo sighs internally. She knows it had to be done, but she's no more happy about betraying the child's trust than any of the others. Maybe even less so. She's never had someone look at her the way Madi did, like they don't see her for all the things she's done and is capable of doing. No, Madi had looked up to her in respect, childishly placing faith in her based on misguided stories that never painted her in a bad light. 

She remembers putting a blade to Clarke’s throat and  _ wanting  _ to kill her, believing wholeheartedly that she deserved to die. She remembers the sound of Bellamy's screams as he realized that she'd killed Octavia. She even remembers the stunned look in Octavia’s eyes as she stumbled over the cliff and fell. She remembers interfering in the Conclave, remembers being banished by Roan, remembers the real Echo. So many things that she will never forget, things that paint her in a terrible light, as they should. 

And yet, Madi hadn't known all of that because Bellamy and Clarke hadn't told her, and she hadn't seemed interested in knowing. 

Echo almost wishes they would have, that way her first introduction to them wouldn't have been them crushing her spirited faith and respect. But it was necessary, as most things are, so Echo pushes it from her mind and continues on. The others struggle with it, sharing uncomfortable looks, guilt clear in their eyes. 

“I feel bad about the kid,” Emori says eventually, her voice quiet as they follow along the path that Madi had devotedly told them about. 

Monty sighs. “I know, me too, but we did what was best. If anything happened to her, Bellamy and Clarke would never forgive us.” 

“I still can't believe they're alive,” Harper whispers, sounding awed. “Raven is going to be so relieved. She beat herself up about them for so long, so you know how well this will go over.” 

“If we can find them,” Emori says dryly. 

“We'll find them,” Echo murmurs. 

Harper hums in agreement. “I wonder what it was like for them these past six years. I mean, being the last two adults on earth can't be easy.” 

“They had each other,” Monty declares simply, huffing a quiet laugh. “If anyone could get through it, you know it's those two.” 

“And they raised a child together.” Emori makes an amused sound in the back of her throat. “John is going to have a lot of fun with that one.” 

“Murphy has a lot of fun with everything,” Echo mutters, barely refraining from rolling her eyes. 

Harper clears her throat. “Do you think, uh, Bellamy and Clarke...you know…” she trails off, but they can easily parse out her meaning in her pointed silence. 

“Well,” Monty starts, amused, “I think—” 

“Wait,” Echo interrupts in a clipped tone, holding up her hand as she cocks her head. A moment later, she hisses, “Get  _ down.”  _

They listen to her, ducking down and going silent. She tilts her head back and watches the form of something small scamper up the tree across from them, darting up the bark to hide. She wouldn't think much of it if not for the fact that it ran  _ towards  _ them, away from something else, not them.

What is it running from? 

Echo hears it before she sees anything. The distant sounds of footsteps, quiet and careful. Some are louder than others, careless, and it sounds like a fairly small group. Five or six, at most. If necessary, she's sure that they can take whoever it is that approaches. 

She doesn't really  _ want  _ to kill anyone, but she will. If it comes to it, she always will. She always has, even if it was an order from whoever she pledged herself to. Survival is a funny thing, but devotion is something else entirely. It's been six years since she's followed someone blindly, her devotion spread out amongst her family in Space, but her survival instincts haven't gone dormant. 

That's why, when she hears a bark of rough laughter, she tenses. The footsteps come closer, and she readies herself to pull the trigger. That's when she hears the voices. 

“Man, fuck Dick,” a man says in a gravelly voice, snorting. “We don't need him to find a damn kid.”

Echo goes cold all over. 

“Shut  _ up,”  _ a female snaps harshly. “He stepped away to take a bathroom break. He'll catch up eventually. Besides, they don't mind, do they? And they're the ones running the show.” 

“Yeah, they are, but they aren't doing much talking, are they?” the man mutters. “I'm just sayin’, alright? How hard can it be to find a little girl? We find her, we take her, we go home. Simple as that, ain't it?” 

Echo inhales slowly, then exhales carefully. This has just gotten a lot worse very quickly. If there are people out looking for Madi, she can't simply let them pass. She'll have to kill them,  _ all  _ of them, and the idea doesn't bother her in the least. 

She readies her gun. 

“Allow me to make something very clear,” a sharp voice hisses, “if you do not  _ shut up,  _ I will—” 

“Clarke!” Monty bursts out, launching to his feet. 

The world goes still. Silent. Paused. 

Echo grabs Monty by the arm and snatches him back down, glaring at him in the dark, her heart racing in her chest. How could he be so  _ stupid?  _ Not Monty, not the man with one of the most gentle and passionate minds she's ever known. He just risked  _ everything _ , all because he heard Clarke’s voice, which she understands. But hearing her voice doesn't mean she's  _ safe.  _

Then,  _ “Monty?”  _

That's Bellamy. Echo recognizes his voice, can hear the pure surprise in it. He doesn't sound distressed or in pain, and now that she's thinking about it, neither did Clarke. These people talking about finding Madi would have been verbally ripped to shreds by Clarke and Bellamy by now if they were a true threat. 

Still, Echo is hesitant to make a mistake. She gestures at the others to stay still and silent, holding each of their gazes. They nod. Slowly, she turns back towards the approaching group, peering out as they eventually ease their way closer, stepping out with guns. 

“Monty?” Clarke whispers, looking around. “Is that you? Bellamy, did you hear—” 

“I heard,” Bellamy murmurs. His head swivels as they come closer. “Maybe we're going insane.” 

“What the hell is a Monty?” the man with a rough voice grunts, huffing. 

“Not what,  _ who,”  _ Bellamy corrects. 

Clarke whirls around, the outline of her shorter hair in the dark swishing as she whips around to face the man. “For the last time, shut  _ up,  _ or I will kill you myself.” 

Bellamy sighs. “Clarke,” he scolds lightly. 

Echo shares a look with Monty, then slowly nods, easing her gun down. The others carefully copy her, and she gestures for them to wait, pushing herself to her feet and quickly slipping around a few trees to approach from another direction. If this goes bad, she wants the others to be able to get away if they need to. 

Her gun hits her side as and slowly walks out from the trees, her hands up in surrender. The reaction is instantaneous. Everyone raises their guns, but Clarke instantly starts shouting. 

“Don't shoot, do  _ not  _ shoot her!” Clarke bellows. 

Bellamy shoves one of the guns down that a man is raising, stepping forward to squint at her with parted lips.  _ “Echo?”  _

“Bellamy,” Echo replies in a clipped tone, nodding. She takes a deep breath. “Okay, it's safe to come out now.” 

It doesn't take long for Monty, Emori, and Harper to step from the trees, their hands also raised. Clarke and Bellamy look stunned, ignoring the others they're with to step forward and stare at them in awe instead. With a small, warm smile, Monty steps forward and chuckles. 

“Hey, Clarke,” he says softly. “Nice to see you and Bellamy still kicking.” 

Clarke makes a choked sound in the back of her throat and laughs before launching herself forward to throw her arms around him. Monty catches her with a pleased  _ oomph,  _ wrapping his arms around in her in kind. Bellamy marches forward to hug Harper, smoothing a hand down her hair affectionately, and then they're swapped. Emori awkwardly shuffles beside Echo, and they share a look, knowing that their history isn't quite the same and will never match up to it. 

“Emori,” Clarke says with a wet laugh, walking over and reaching out to hug her unprompted. 

It could be the rising emotion and relief that's spreading through everyone, but Emori actually hugs her back with a weak chuckle. She awkwardly pats Clarke on the shoulder with her gloved hand, shooting Echo a look over Clarke's shoulder. Echo can't help but be slightly amused, but she's very careful not to show it. 

“It's good to see you, too, I guess,” Emori murmurs with a snort when Clarke pulls away. 

Clarke nods, her lips spreading into a grin. “You have  _ no idea.  _ And—and you.” She flicks her gaze to Echo, some of the delight draining from her face, which is to be expected. Echo doesn't blame her, not really. “I'd offer you a hug, but I just don't think we're quite there.” 

“No,” Echo says dryly, “I'd say we're not.” 

Clarke's lips twitch. “I will say that it's...nice that you're here. Madi will be excited.” 

“About that…” Monty says softly, pulling away from Bellamy with a wince. “We may have already met your daughter.” 

“You know where Madi is?” Clarke asks breathlessly, snapping up straight. 

Bellamy releases a sigh of relief. “Take us to her  _ now.  _ Where is she? How did you find her?” 

“She found us,” Harper explains. “She came to us when we dropped down. It's a long story, but she thought that you two were in danger. We're technically supposed to be saving you.” 

“Look at that,” Emori says lightly, “easiest thing we've done in a while.” 

“We're not in danger,” Bellamy murmurs. He sighs and shoves his hands through his longer hair, frowning. “Look, it's complicated, and we can all sit down and explain the details later. For now, we need to find Madi.” 

“Yes,” Clarke agrees, “where is she?” 

Echo clears her throat. “We trapped her in the Rover,” she says bluntly. 

Bellamy blinks at her. “You did what?” 

“We'll explain on the way,” Monty offers with an awkward laugh, grimacing slightly. 

“Fine, let's go,” Clarke says eagerly. 

“Told you it'd be easy to find the kid,” the guy from the other group says with a snort. 

In unison, Clarke and Bellamy turn to glare at him and snap,  _ “Shut up, Mike!”  _

* * *

Madi eventually stops crying. She feels drained after, just sitting limply in the seat, staring out the window. All the fight has left her, just like that. 

Of course, it comes back at some point. 

She starts thinking about Bellamy and Clarke, then starts thinking about those from Space, then she remembers fighting with all her might not to be locked in the Rover, then she's as furious as she was when she was shoved in here. Except, this time, she's level-headed enough to come up with a logical plan instead of losing her cool. 

An hour hasn't even fully passed, but Madi refuses to stay in the Rover for even a moment longer. Gritting her teeth, she climbs to the back and braces her shoe against one of the small windows, scowling as she draws it back and slams it forward. God, Bellamy is going to  _ kill her.  _

If he's alive. 

These little gaps sit right above the solar panels, and though they're structurally sound, this one has a weak spot. Madi knows this because she's seen it get torn clean off during a horrible storm that they got caught in once when they were out of the Valley. Bellamy had later replaced it, but it's not as strong as the rest. If she kicks hard enough, she  _ might  _ just be able to pop it back out. 

She's angry enough to kick hard. So, with a few attempts that leave her sweating and cursing, she eventually shoves her foot forward so hard that the slat breaks open. Her foot shoves forward, slamming against the side, cutting a gash into her leg, but she can't be bothered to care. 

Laughing breathlessly, she pulls her leg back and scrambles up, moving forward and wondering just how she's going to squeeze through the small opening. She'll be able to fit, she thinks, but she doubts it'll be a pleasant experience. 

It's not. 

When she shoves herself through, she lands in the dirt with a thud and a groan. Both of her arms have scrapes that peel the top, thinnest layer of skin off, making it red and irritated but not causing it to bleed. That's fine, she can deal with that. She ignores the heat and pain in her arms and the throb in her leg, and she pushes to her feet, darting off in the woods. 

She doesn't really have a plan from here. She needs to get to the Village without the others knowing, so she'll have to take a different, longer route. When she gets there, they won't be able to send her back then. She'll be able to help, and they'll have no choice but to let her. 

The shroud of night is on her side, as well as the fact that she knows this Valley well. She's careful, going quick but quiet, darting through the woods while keeping an eye out for anyone. 

For a long time, she doesn't find another soul. She gets closer and closer to the Village, but she encounters no one. It makes her wonder what these Eligius people are doing, if they're busy with Clarke and Bellamy, if they're wrecking her home. It infuriates her to think that they might be, and she already has it in her head to kill them if they hurt Bellamy and Clarke. 

She's just so  _ angry,  _ and she can't help it. She's supposed to be strong and steady, just like Clarke and Bellamy, but she feels weak and out of control. Madi  _ knows  _ that Bellamy and Clarke would be upset to know how angry with these people she is, angry enough to kill them, but what else is she supposed to be feeling? She has no way of knowing if her parents are dead yet again, and she doesn't want to lose another mom and dad again. She just can't do it, and she'll fight with everything in her to make sure it doesn't happen. 

An opportunity presents itself. 

Madi finds someone. She barely notices at first, almost misses the sound of someone to her left, but then she hears the familiar crunch of someone biting into fruit. She freezes in place, going still for a brief second before holding her breath as she immediately looks for a tree to climb. 

She eventually spots one closer to where she hears someone walking, and she decides it's worth it to risk it. She barely gets up on a branch in time, managing to go still just as the form of a man walks under her tree. She stares at him, squinting through the dark, noting his gun and the handful of venus berries he has. He doesn't see her. 

No one ever thinks to look up. 

Before Madi can talk herself out of it, she launches herself from the tree. For a split second, she's just falling, but then she's colliding into the man with a gasp and a grunt. The man lets out a hoarse shout, stumbling to the forest floor with a groan, and Madi scrambles to take his gun. 

By the time he realizes what she's doing and thinks to fight back, she nearly has the gun entirely. He immediately starts squirming, cursing loudly and rolling to try and throw her off. She presses her knee into his stomach and swings her foot down at the same time, the kick landing between his legs, and all the air gets punched out of him. With a smirk, Madi rips the gun out of his hands and stumbles back, panting as she points it at him and caresses the trigger. 

“Jesus fucking Christ,” the man chokes out, folding over as he tries to catch his breath. 

Madi's chest heaves as she coldly says, “Don't move, or I  _ will  _ shoot you.” 

The man slowly recovers, eventually looking up and blinking her. “A kid?” 

“A kid,” Madi confirms tersely. 

“Wait,” the man mutters, “ain't you that kid I'm looking for? Hey, where have—” 

“You're looking for me?” Madi cuts him off, stepping forward and pressing the barrel of his gun to his forehead. He goes still immediately, his beard twitching as he takes a deep breath. “Why? Where are Clarke and Bellamy?” 

“Hey, now,” he mutters, “they're just fine.” 

“So you've seen them?” 

“Yeah, kid, I have. Listen—” 

“No,  _ you  _ listen,” Madi cuts him off tightly, “if you don't tell me what they're doing to Clarke and Bellamy, I will kill you.” 

“They're fine.” The man clears his throat, carefully raising his hands. “Seen ‘em myself, and they're right as rain. Matter of fact, they're not even in ya Village.” 

Madi sucks in a sharp breath. Her finger tightens on the trigger. “You're  _ lying.  _ How'd you know the Village is mine if they didn't tell you? What's happening to them? Are they alive?!” 

“Look, kid, if you'd just let me explain—” 

“Madi!” 

The gun goes off. 

Madi doesn't mean for it to, but she hears her name in the distance, and her finger just twitches too far. The crack of the shot is so loud and unexpected that she flinches away when she feels the gun kick back in her hand. There's a dull thud, and she releases a slow breath, going still as she stares at the slumped form of the man. 

Slowly, achingly slow, she sinks to her knees and swallows thickly, reaching out to push the man to the side. She doesn't know why; she already knows what she'll see. But knowing and seeing are two very different things, and she's not at all prepared for the sight of blood, or the glassy gleam of his eyes in the moonlight, or the hole in his head, or...death. 

A strange sound crawls up her throat, and she stares in wide-eyed horror, her hands shaking. She didn't mean to, she didn't  _ know.  _ But he's dead anyway, and she couldn't take the bullet back once it left the gun. She killed him. 

She  _ killed him.  _

“Madi!” 

The whole world suddenly seems to come back to life, and she hadn't even realized that it had stopped. Sounds suddenly reach her ears, and she can hear the pounding footsteps as people come pouring through the trees. She knows that voice belongs to Clarke, but she can't bring herself to turn and look. She can't rip her gaze away from the dead man on the ground. 

“Madi…” It's Bellamy that time, and now he sounds hesitant, and she knows that they've all spotted her. She can distantly hear them moving closer, but she still doesn't look up. “Madi, sweetheart, what's—” 

He stops. 

Madi slowly looks away from the man she's kneeling by, the gun still gripped in her hand, and she looks at everyone. They're all just standing there, Bellamy and Clarke, the group from Space, people who must be from the Eligius group. She sweeps her gaze over them before settling on staring up into Bellamy's eyes. 

“I killed him,” Madi tells him in a whisper. “I didn't mean to, I just—I was trying to find you and Clarke. I took his gun, and I put it to his head, and I pulled the trigger by accident. I—I didn't mean to, I swear I didn't, but I—I—” 

“Madi,” Bellamy croaks, and he sounds absolutely  _ heartbroken.  _ She expects disappointment, but he's just staring at her with tears in his eyes. 

Madi's breath shudders out of her. She's crying, but she barely registers it. “I killed him, Bellamy, I killed him. I couldn't take the bullet back, but I—I wish I could, but I—” Her breath hitches around a sob, her chest aching, her throat clogged. “I can't take it back. I k-killed him. I—” 

Bellamy drops down beside her, reaching out to yank her away from the dead man on the ground and into the shelter of his arms. “Okay, shh, it's okay. Just—just breathe, Madi.  _ Breathe.”  _

Madi tries. She tries so  _ hard,  _ but she can barely manage it. And why should she be able to when she's stolen a breath from another? A man who, as it turns out, probably hadn't been lying at all. Clarke and Bellamy are clearly  _ fine,  _ and they're not in the Village, just like he said. He didn't deserve to die, but she killed him anyway. 

Bellamy fully grabs her and pulls her closer, wrapping a hand around her knees and sweeping her into his lap. She sags into him, gasping and sobbing against his throat, and he rocks her. He quietly shushes her in her ear, smoothing his hand over her hair, squeezing her as tight as he can without hurting her too much. 

“I'm so sorry,” Madi whimpers, feeling the dampness of his skin from her tears. 

“Hey, look at me,” Bellamy says gently, pulling away to reach up and cup her face. “Madi, you didn't  _ mean to.  _ It was an accident, and you didn't know. It's—it'll be okay, I promise.” 

Madi makes a weak sound, her expression crumbling as she shakes her head. “No, Bellamy, I  _ did this.  _ I—I wanted to kill them all,” she admits in a broken rasp. “I thought they had you and Clarke, and I just—I was so  _ angry.”  _

“Madi,” Clarke says softly, suddenly right beside them, kneeling in the dirt beside them. She smiles softly, her eyes glittering with tears. “Hey, Madi, listen to me, okay? You—you made a  _ mistake.  _ I promise you that you can overcome it, that you can do better next time. I  _ know  _ you can. Do you know how I know?” 

Madi leans into Clarke's hand when she reaches out and cups her cheek. “I don't know.” 

“Because I have made  _ so many  _ mistakes, Madi. We all have, but we try to be better every day.” Clarke leans forward and kisses her forehead, pulling away a beat later to whisper, “You'll get through this, I know you will. We'll help you.” 

“Did you know him?” Madi asks softly, her voice cracking as her eyes slide over to the body that won't ever move again. “What was his name?” 

“Don't do that to yourself,” Bellamy murmurs, turning her face away. “Just don't. You made a mistake, Madi. A horrible, painful  _ mistake.”  _

“Dick,” comes a cold voice from behind them, a man shoving forward to glare at Madi. “His name was Dick, and he was a good man. You  _ killed  _ a good man, kid, and that ain't something you can just shrug off. Do you have  _ any  _ idea what you just did, you stupid little—” 

“What did she do?” Clarke stands up so fast that the man actually falters. “Tell me, what did she do, Mike? Dick wasn't a great man, just like you aren't. From what Sarah said, Dick used to set buildings on fire with people still in it, but tell me more about how good he was. And, while you're at it, tell me what _my child_ has done.” Her voice softens with threat. “Go on, do tell.” 

Madi watches with wide eyes, her heart thundering in her chest as Bellamy slowly pulls away from her to rise to his feet. 

The man—Mike—bares his teeth in threat. “Don't act like you don't  _ know.  _ You think this stupid truce between you and Diyoza is gonna work with that kid killing one of our own in cold blood?” 

Madi flinches. 

“It was an  _ accident,”  _ Clarke says in disbelief. “She's a twelve year old girl.” 

Mike’s lip curls. “It was the first act of war. As soon as we get back, we're telling Diyoza how your kid killed Dick, and we'll see how many  _ accidents  _ happen after that.” 

“I'm afraid that can't happen,” Bellamy says calmly. “This peace is necessary if everyone wants to survive. A mistake was made here today, and I'm very sorry, I truly am, but this won't go any further.” 

“You're a damn fool if you think we're just going to let you kill one of our own and get away with it. Not happening,” Mike declares, straightening up and sharing a look with his group, who all nod and seem to be in agreement. “When we tell Diyoza, your kid is the first one we're coming for.”

Madi curls in on herself, her heart dropping in her stomach. She has no idea what peace she's just shattered, but she knows instantly that she's just ruined  _ everything.  _ The tension in the air proves it, and tears gather in her eyes all over again. 

“I see,” Bellamy says softly. “Fine, go tell Diyoza. My guess is, she might just forgive us.” 

Mike grunts. “We'll see. Come on.” 

Madi watches with wide eyes as Mike and the four others start walking forward, heading right for the Village. She wants to say something,  _ anything,  _ maybe apologize or beg for forgiveness. She never gets the chance to open her mouth. 

Without so much as blinking, Bellamy lifts his gun and shoots Mike in the back of the head. Before his body even hits the ground, Bellamy proceeds to shoot two others, while Clarke shoots the last two who don't even get to turn around fully. The bodies hit the ground the same way Dick’s did, heavy and lifeless, but unlike Madi, Clarke and Bellamy don't look horrified. 

Their expressions are empty. 

“What did you  _ do?!”  _ Madi bellows in a screech, scrambling to her feet. Shocked and horrified, her world seems to tilt on its axis. “They—they were leaving! You killed  _ them!  _ That wasn't a mistake, you just—you shot them.  _ Why?!”  _

Bellamy lowers his gun and swallows, his expression finally crumbling into regret, but it's clear he doesn't regret the bullets that left the gun, just that she had to bear witness to it. Clarke closes her eyes, something heavy seeming to settle on her shoulders, her face twisting. 

The others—Echo, Monty, Emori, and Harper—don't look too shocked, either. They simply watch them, their expressions ranging from regret to sadness to understanding. Madi wants to shout at them, all of them, because they're acting like any of this makes sense. Like killing people is just something that  _ has  _ to happen, but it doesn't. 

Madi doesn't shout again, though, because she realizes that she has no right. Dick didn't deserve to die, but he's still dead, and that's her fault. It didn't have to happen, mistake or no, and she can't take it back anymore than they can. 

“Madi,” Clarke says, opening her eyes, “we killed them because they were putting our survival in jeopardy. If they told Diyoza, the peace we have with those back at the Village could have crumbled. That means there would be a war, and all our lives would be in danger, including yours, and we can't let that happen.” 

Bellamy swallows again, his voice coming out in a gruff croak. “I'm sorry. I—I know how horrible it seems, how horrible it  _ is,  _ but it was…” 

“Our only choice,” Clarke finishes in a whisper.

It's at this moment that Madi realizes that all of this is her fault. She's entirely to blame. If she hadn't accidentally shot Dick, the others wouldn't have been angry enough to start a war, and then Clarke and Bellamy wouldn't have had to kill to stop a war before it began. 

She thinks about all the stories she grew up on, and she realizes that this  _ does  _ make sense. It's terrible, but she sees why they felt the need to do it. She put them in that position to do it, and she can never take it back. Killing to survive is nothing new to them, to any of them, and Madi knows that, but it's new to her. She's quickly learning that it's hard to face and handle. 

“It's wrong,” Madi says softly, because it is. 

Clarke nods. “Yes, it is. But, sometimes, there are no right choices. We try to make the right choices when they're available, but when they're not, we learn to live with making the wrong one.” 

“This never gets easier,” Bellamy murmurs. “I'm hoping that we'll go into a new life where we'll never have to do anything like this again.” 

“And we just forget?” Madi shakily gestures to the dead bodies. “We just move on?” 

“We never forget,” Clarke says sadly, her lips trembling around a smile that never makes it past the first gentle stage. “We just try to do better.” 

“Until the next wrong choice comes along.” Madi’s face screws up, and her eyes are hot with a fresh wave of tears. “I don't want to make any more wrong choices.” 

Bellamy moves forward and pulls her into his side, looking down into her eyes. “Listen to me, Madi, if I don't know anything else, trust me when I say that I know how good you are. You're so special, and you do better all the time. I believe in you, I always have, and now I need you to believe in yourself, okay? Believe that you're going to do better every day, because you  _ will.”  _

“I'm sorry,” Madi says again, blinking hard as her tears fall. It's all she knows how to say because it's all she feels right now. She's just so,  _ so  _ sorry. She doesn't think the feeling will ever leave her, and she's not sure how to breathe around it. “I messed everything up, and I can't fix it.” 

“Yes, you can,” Clarke assures her. She takes a deep breath and sets her shoulders. “You can come home with us. With all of us. You can meet Diyoza, and you can adjust to your new life, and you do better than you did today. You can  _ keep going,  _ because that's the only way you will find the opportunity to make the right choices.” 

“How are we supposed to go home?” Madi asks weakly, throwing a pointed look to the bodies. “They're all dead.” 

Clarke grimaces. “We… Madi, we have to lie.” 

“Diyoza gave us permission to shoot them if they didn't cooperate,” Bellamy says sharply. “It's not a lie to say that they didn't.” 

“And when this Diyoza asks why?” Monty speaks up quietly, his tone somber. 

“That's...when we lie,” Bellamy mutters, hanging his head with a deep sigh. He looks back up and glances around at everyone. “The story is, they went rogue, decided to try and find Madi on their own for dangerous reasons. We had to shoot them. That's what we say.” 

Madi stares at everyone, watching them all nod, and her heart clenches in her chest. Maybe they don't all like it, and it's clear that none of them really do, but for each other and their survival, they go along with it. 

Reality is harsh. 

She thought she understood how messed up things were in life. She's lost her own people, she's had to live in fear, she's had to feel pain. But this is… It's bleak. They'll have to spend the rest of their lives keeping this secret, living with it, and they'll do it just so they get a chance to live, to avoid war, to hope for peace at the end of the day. Except, it won't be complete peace, will it? This will hang over everyone forever. 

There's no right way to do the wrong things, and Madi wishes things weren't like this. She wishes that she never pulled that trigger, but that's the entire point, isn't it? Everyone always wishes they didn't do the things that led to disaster, but the disaster still happens, and they have to continue pushing past the aftermath. People are dead, but they're not, so they have to keep living with it. 

Reality is more than harsh. It's  _ cruel.  _

“I'm sorry,” Madi says again, that feeling seeming to only get stronger with each second. 

Clarke stares at her, something tragic in her blue eyes. “I know, Madi. So are we.” 

“Come on,” Bellamy says wearily, “let's go home.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooft. That hurt ME to write, okay? Let me reassure you, Madi is going to be okay. She will definitely face some trials in this fic, but she's going to be okay, I promise ❤ 
> 
> So, thoughts? Wanna yell at me? Complain? Speculate? Have at it in the comments, friends! 
> 
> If you enjoyed, don't hesitate to drop off some kudos and leave a comment; I really do adore every single one! 
> 
> Till next Friday, ta!
> 
> -SOBS


	3. The Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are again, my friends! I know I've said this story is a bit fast-paced (especially compared to the one before it), but do try to keep an open mind as you read. 
> 
> No particular warnings for this chapter, as it's even more mild than actual canon. I would like to point out, though, that I really do try and take character's motivations and personalities into consideration as I write them, and as much as I love many of these characters, they're all...well, to put it frankly, they're all quite flawed, aren't they? And with good reason, I think, considering all they've been through. I'll dive a little deeper into this in the end notes, if you're interested. 
> 
> Otherwise...
> 
> Enjoy ;)

Clarke’s hope that all of this will just  _ pause  _ is shattered fairly quickly when the others move past her, Bellamy, and Madi to come to a stop in front of them. It becomes clear almost instantly that the others have an issue with something, and Clarke doesn't know what she was expecting. 

Nothing is ever simple. 

“Clarke,” Monty says carefully, “I think we deserve to know what's going on. Before we get back to where these Eligius people are, we need to compare notes.” 

“He has a point,” Bellamy mumbles. 

Clarke clenches her jaw, holding a seemingly exhausted Madi against her side, and she shoots Bellamy a pointed glare. “Fine, then you explain. It's your plan after all, right?” 

Bellamy's shoulders slump, and Clarke  _ knows  _ that she's being hard on him. She doesn't mean to be, but she'd barely gotten over the fact that Bellamy had  _ stupidly  _ risked his own life before she found out her child was missing. And now,  _ now,  _ her child has just accidentally taken a life, as well as watched her parents take multiple lives without hesitation, and that hadn't been an accident. 

So, yes, Clarke is more than a little tense, and frankly, she's quickly losing her well-maintained grip on her emotions. 

“Yeah,” Bellamy murmurs, averting his eyes and turning to face the others. “So, basically, we've come to an agreement with the Eligius crew. We're going to have a peace treaty and share the Valley with them. We'll also be giving them medical aid in exchange for them getting everyone out of the bunker.” 

Clarke jolts, blinking. “What? You didn't tell me that, Bellamy.” 

“There wasn't time,” Bellamy says softly, looking over his shoulder at her. “We  _ can  _ share this Valley with these people, and we will. We have to.” 

“There's just one thing,” Harper says slowly. “So, uh, they kind of have close to three hundred other criminals in cryo back on their ship.” 

_ “What?”  _ Clarke hisses, her stomach cramping with immediate anxiety. 

Bellamy sighs. “Yes, I knew that already. Colonel Diyoza has already informed me of that. She'll wake them up and bring them down after she gets everyone out of the bunker.” 

“Well, um, she can't.” Emori clears her throat when Bellamy stares at her in disbelief. “Raven and Murphy are back on their ship, and they have complete control over the other criminals.” 

“We are on the brink of war,” Echo murmurs, not seeming to address anyone in particular. 

Clarke agrees with that, strangely enough. She swallows and takes a deep breath. “Bellamy, I don't know how well this is going to work out. If anything happens and—” 

“We are  _ not  _ going to war again,” Bellamy snaps, whirling around her to scowl right at her like all of this is her fault. “They are people, just like us, and we can all coexist. We do  _ better,  _ that's what you said, remember? What happened to that?” 

“That was  _ before  _ you started making deals on the behalf of everyone,” Clarke hisses, pulling away from Madi to get in Bellamy's face, glaring back at him with just as much heat. “You can't just decide  _ what  _ we're going to do and who we'll help. We don't know these people, and you're putting countless of our own at risk, including our child!” 

“Don't.” Bellamy's voice lowers, barely slipping out through his gritted teeth. “I let it slide the first time, Clarke, but you do  _ not  _ get to say that to me. I'm doing what's best for Madi, steering everyone  _ away  _ from a war, but you seem to be fighting that plan. It's almost like you're  _ eager  _ for it. But what else should I expect from  _ Wanheda?”  _

Clarke flinches back like she's been slapped, and it stings for a split second before her resolve takes over. Furious and spitting mad, she growls, “These people are hardened criminals, Bellamy! Now there are  _ three hundred  _ more, and you're acting like you're not worried?” 

“Hate to break it to you, Clarke, but we're hardened criminals, too!” Bellamy explodes, throwing his hands up as his chest heaves. “We can't just keep going back to mass murder because we haven't figured out how to share the fucking planet yet!” 

“Stop it!” Madi shouts, shoving between them and pushing them back from each other. She looks between them in disbelief, her eyes wide. “Just stop! What is  _ wrong  _ with you two?” 

“We have leverage,” Clarke says tightly, holding Bellamy's gaze. “We let them get everyone out of the bunker. We'll outnumber them, and with Raven watching over those in cryo, we'll be able to drive them out of the Valley. Madi won't be at risk, our home will be  _ ours  _ again.” 

Bellamy is shaking his head before she's even finished, scoffing. “You can't be serious. Where will they  _ go,  _ Clarke?” 

Clarke tilts her chin up. “That's not my problem.”

“Guys,” Monty says quietly. 

He's ignored. 

“You're supposed to be  _ better.”  _ Bellamy stares at her in genuine disappointment. He releases a weak laugh and raises his hand to stroke it over his mouth. “Do you even hear yourself? You want to damn  _ hundreds  _ of people to death so we can be comfortable?” 

“For  _ Madi,”  _ Clarke snaps. 

Bellamy glares at her. “One of the terms is that no one can harm a child. If they try, no matter who it is, anyone is free to kill them. We can have  _ peace.  _ Don't you see that?” 

“How long do you think that will last?” Clarke spits out, frustrated and fed up. “Or, what do we do when someone gets brave and we're not quick enough? How will you feel if Madi dies because you're so stuck on this, Bellamy? Are you willing to risk that? Because I'm  _ not.”  _

“Guys,” Monty says again, somehow wary and firm all at once, and he goes ignored yet again. 

“I'm not having this argument with you,” Bellamy says sharply, shaking his head. “We aren't killing hundreds of people, risking a war, not again. Maybe you're ready for that on your conscience, but I'm not doing it again, Clarke, I'm just not. We can protect Madi without doing that. We are going to walk in there, and we are going to treat them like people, and we are going to share this Valley because it's what's  _ right.”  _

“You and I both know that doing what's right doesn't always ensure our survival,” Clarke snaps harshly. “We can't just—” 

“No!” Bellamy shouts, making her mouth snap shut. He carefully steps around Madi and hovers his face right in front of Clarke’s, his eyes boring into hers, dark and furious. “No more. You want to talk to me about doing the right thing for Madi, but you're the one who's failing to set an example. Is this really what you want to show to our child? Think about shutting that dropship door, think about Mount Weather, think about  _ your  _ idea to steal that bunker from everyone. Think about it, and tell me that's what you want to present to Madi. And, if your answer is yes, then you're not only a danger to her and everyone but to  _ yourself.”  _

Clarke stares up at him, her breath caught in her lungs, and she can't speak. There's a low buzzing in her head. Her chest pinches with discomfort. She can't take a deep breath, can't move, can't reply. She just stares, lost and hurt. 

“Bellamy,” Madi whispers, sounding stunned. 

“Now, we are going to do this the right way,” Bellamy continues firmly, still holding Clarke's gaze. “Either you can come and help, take a look at Diyoza, or you can go. You told me, once, that you left Arkadia because you didn't deserve to stay. If this is the path you want to take, then maybe for the first time, that's true.” 

Clarke goes stiff, feeling like she's caught in a trap, struggling within her own skin to break free. She wants to defend herself, or lose it on Bellamy for even  _ daring  _ to say that to her, but again, she's caged in her own head. She doesn't react, simply because she can't. 

“Bellamy!” Madi yelps, openly aghast, her mouth dropping open as she stares at him in horror. 

“Are you coming?” Bellamy asks Clarke, staring at her without giving anything away in his own gaze, just simply breathing. “Or are you leaving?” 

The implied  _ again  _ doesn't go unnoticed. 

Clarke just  _ barely  _ manages to give a jerky nod, her neck so tense that she can feel her jaw creak when she moves. Bellamy stares at her for a bit longer, then steps back, pulling his gaze away from her. 

“Wait,” Monty says awkwardly. “I, uh, know that you have this all figured out and everything, but I think you should know that—that these people are, like,  _ really  _ bad. Charmaine Diyoza? Yeah, she's a high level threat because she was one of the most wanted terrorists of her time.” 

Clarke says nothing, but she does meet Bellamy's gaze when he glances at her again. 

“They're more than just hardened criminals, Bellamy,” Harper says softly. “They're the  _ worst  _ criminals.” 

“We were some of the worst criminals when we came down from the Ark, too.” Bellamy's tone is clipped. “We deserved a chance, and so do they. This can work, I believe that. Just trust me?” 

“If it goes bad,” Echo starts. 

“It won't,” Bellamy cuts her off. 

Monty looks around at the others, sharing weighted looks, then he nods. “I agree that we should do better. If we have a shot at doing the right thing, then I think we should.” 

“Good.” Bellamy takes a deep breath and faces the direction of the Village. “So, we go home. We discuss more in depth about the peace treaty and where we want our futures to go. Clarke takes a look at Diyoza. Tomorrow, we get into that bunker, and after that, the others come down to the ground—Raven and Murphy included. No war, no death, just peace.” 

A low murmur of assent passes through everyone, though Clarke still can't force her lips to part. She's barely managing to get shallow breaths in and out of her lungs, and now her chest is aching even worse. The others throw her glances as Bellamy starts leading them towards the Village, but she ignores them and begins following him. 

On the way, Madi steps up beside her and slips her hand into Clarke's, holding on tight. Clarke is thankful for the night and her inability to make a sound right now. 

Her tears are silent, and they go unseen. 

* * *

“You're awfully quiet.” 

Clarke closes her eyes, taking a careful breath as she turns her face away from Diyoza. She can do this, she knows she can. All she has to do is use the medical equipment on the Eligius ship to make sure Diyoza and her baby are healthy. That's all. Yet, somehow, she's struggling. 

She can barely look at the woman, and she's having a hard time focusing. She just keeps replaying the way Bellamy immediately took Madi home, not even looking back as he went, and her heart pangs in her chest. 

In truth, he's not even  _ wrong.  _ That's the thing that's eating her up inside. Her readiness to screw these people over is terrible in reality, but she can't help but feel it anyway. It would be so  _ simple,  _ is the thing, and they'd never have to worry again. These people are not her people, and she can't trust them, no matter how much Bellamy wants to, no matter how much she wishes she could. 

If she didn't have Madi, she would take that chance, but the idea of her child being at risk grates on all of her nerves. It defies all of her instincts to simply deal with all these people invading her home, people that she knows only one thing about—that they're dangerous. 

Usually, Bellamy stands in a united front with her on most things, but not this. He's holding his ground, and that's admirable, but it puts them on opposite sides. Clarke has no idea what to do with that because she's always understood why he does the things he sets his heart on, just like he gets why she does the things her head decides to do. They've never had this gap between them like this, and she hates it, hates that they're not seeing eye-to-eye about this. 

She knows, logically, that he's trying to do the right thing, and she wishes it were that easy. But it's  _ never  _ that easy, and he should know that by now. Something will go wrong. It always does. 

“Don't tell me there's bad news, doc,” Diyoza says dryly, making her eyes snap open. 

Clarke clears her throat and shakes her head, stepping back. “No, no, it's—there is no bad news. Both vitals look good, and you're both healthy.” 

Diyoza hums and zips up her jumpsuit again, lips curling up, though there's nothing warm and kind about her smile. “That's good to hear. But I have to ask. If it's not bad news, then why do you look so upset? Don't tell me you're still angry with Bellamy over all of this.” 

“There's nothing to be angry about.”  _ Yet,  _ Clarke thinks bitterly. She sighs and forces a tight smile to her face. “Everything is fine.” 

“Uh huh.” Diyoza stares at her, tilting her head and pursing her lips. “I understand your hesitance, Clarke. You and Bellamy have Madi to think about, but allow me to offer you some comfort. I'm not a kind person, or even all that honorable, but I care more about the child growing in me than I care about anyone else in the world.  _ My  _ child would be in danger if anything happened to yours, so I don't intend to let that happen.” 

Clarke looks at her for a moment, holding her gaze, and she doesn't feel comforted at all. She jerks her chin towards the outside. “Any of those people end up in prison because they harmed children, Colonel Diyoza?” 

“No,” Diyoza says. “Those people out there have done horrible things, yes, but not to a child.” 

“And what about those three hundred people taking a nap up in Space?” Clarke challenges. 

Diyoza arches an eyebrow. “Yes, some of them.”

“Then, with all due respect, your words of comfort aren't worth anything,” Clarke says sharply, crossing her arms. 

“Would you like them dead?” Diyoza shrugs when Clarke blinks rapidly. “What, you think I want any of them around my child? If there was a malfunction and the twenty-eight prisoners who have a history of harming a child accidentally died in their pods, then I would express deep regret to my people and keep it moving. What about those words?” 

“It's a nice thought,” Clarke admits softly, her lips tipping down, “but you seem like a smart woman, Diyoza. If you think that's the only danger your people pose, then you're fooling yourself. I won't be comforted until our people are on opposite sides of the Valley.” 

Diyoza clicks her tongue. “And here I was hoping that we could all get along. Frankly, Clarke, your comfort doesn't mean much to me. We have our rules and our treaty for a reason. We're not required to like each other, just to share land, and there's plenty to go around.” 

“Coexisting isn't always easy,” Clarke counters, raising her eyebrows. “Trust me, I've tried.” 

“Then try again,” Diyoza says flatly. “We may be criminals, but our survival instincts work just fine. Believe it or not, but we need you and your people to survive.” 

“Because you're sick?” Clarke asks. 

Diyoza nods. “Most of us, yes. Not me, but many of my men. They could die.” 

A horrible thought strikes Clarke, and she knows how disgusted Bellamy would be if he heard it, but she can't help it. Just that niggling thought that maybe they should let most of these criminals die, and why not? It would solve the problem Clarke is currently facing. She could tell her mom and Jackson, get them in on it, and no one would ever have to know. They can make it look like they're trying, but not really, and then the Valley would be a safer place. 

Clarke mulls that plan over for a few minutes, then she physically flinches back from herself and sucks in a sharp breath. Whirling away from Diyoza, she braces her hands on the counter and hangs her head, throat clogged with guilt. What the hell is she  _ thinking?  _

Why is she like this? She knows what that guilt of killing hundreds feels like. She's lived with it for so long, and she's not forgetting it anytime soon. She literally deals with it every day. And yet, here she is, thinking of ways that she can do it again. 

Bellamy is more than just  _ not wrong.  _ He's right. He's right about her, about the fact that they should do better, that they need to take this chance, that she's not setting a good example for Madi. Clark can't just use Madi as some kind of excuse, not when this clearly has everything to do with herself and her own fear. 

She really is  _ Wanheda,  _ and that's never going to go away. Her curse is to find ways to kill masses, and she has the audacity to treat it like a blessing the moment she gets scared. 

Clarke can't stay. 

It hurts her to realize it, but she can't do it. She'll ruin everything, and she knows it. If there's even a  _ tiny  _ chance that there can be peace, she can't stick around and put that in jeopardy. She's the dangerous one. She has to go. 

“Excuse me,” Clarke rasps, wrenching away from the table and marching off the ship. 

She feels sick to her stomach as she pushes through a crowd of Eliguis people to stumble towards her home. One of the women she bumps into catches her arm, asking her if she's alright, but Clarke barely hears it. She just pushes the woman away and picks up her pace. 

In the distance, she can see Bellamy standing with Madi, Echo, and Emori. They're all talking while Monty and Harper seem to be doing something else somewhere else. Clarke stares at them for a beat, her heart rioting in her chest, then she rips her gaze away and rushes inside. 

Clarke doesn't cry. She thinks she wants to, but she just looks around at her home for the last six years. How could she think about going to war when there's a chance they'll never have to? Lexa would be disappointed. More importantly,  _ Bellamy  _ is, and that hurts far worse. This isn't who she's supposed to be, but somewhere along the way, she thinks that this is who she became. She's not sure when, or why, or how, but she's been aware for a long time that she's a danger to everyone. 

Swallowing around a lump in her throat, she moves over to grab a pack, and she gives herself the luxury of taking a few things. Just little things that will be easy to replace, things that will make her exile easier. She takes some food for the hike she'll have to take to get as far away as possible, and she grabs her canteen, and she selfishly steals one of the framed portraits of herself, Madi, and Bellamy. She'll miss them so much that it will hurt, there's no getting around that, but this will undoubtedly help a bit. 

She's zipping up her pack when the door opens, and her heart drops to the pit of her stomach. It can't be Madi. Anyone else but Madi. She internally begs it not to be Madi, slowly looking up, and she's only relieved for a split second. 

Bellamy, in some ways, is much worse. 

“What are you doing?” Bellamy asks carefully.

Clarke swallows thickly and stands up, her hands shaking as she swings the pack onto her shoulders. “What does it look like I'm doing?” 

“It  _ looks  _ like you're planning to leave.” Bellamy's voice sticks for a moment, then he clears his throat gruffly. “But that can't be what's happening, because you...you promised me you would never do that. You  _ promised.”  _

“You've never told me I should leave before,” Clarke admits in a whisper. 

Bellamy's eyes sink shut. “Clarke, I—that's not fair. I didn't say you should leave, I never said that. I just—I needed you to see what you were saying because I know you didn't mean it.” 

“But I  _ did,  _ Bellamy,” Clarke croaks, blinking hard around her stinging eyes. “I—I still do.” 

“It's been a very hard day,” Bellamy says softly, taking a careful step forward. “Things have gotten complicated too fast, and we haven't had time to adjust, that's  _ all  _ this is. If you just—” 

“I just came up with a full-fledged plan to let all these sick Eligius people  _ die,”  _ Clarke tells him forcefully, needing him to hear it. “They're sick, and you know what I thought? I thought that was a good thing, that we should just stand by and let them die off so we'll be safer. I've already adjusted, Bellamy,  _ that's  _ the problem.” 

“You're scared,” Bellamy rasps. “I am, too. Okay, Clarke? I'm scared for all of us, for  _ you,  _ for Madi. If you think I haven't had to talk myself out of everything you've already proposed, then you're wrong.  _ I get it.  _ I understand the fear and the need to survive, to make sure Madi does, and I'm forcing myself to fight it. You can, too.” 

“That's the thing,” Clarke whispers, “I don't think I want to. It's like you said, I'm  _ Wanheda,  _ and now there are people for me to kill. I'm a danger to everyone I love,  _ including  _ Madi. You were right.”

Bellamy flinches, shaking his head almost frantically. “No, I—I  _ wasn't.  _ What I said was wrong, and I can't take that back.  _ I'm sorry.  _ We're both just scared and reacting right now, almost like we're back to square one. We're too hard on ourselves, but if we give it time, I  _ promise  _ that things will even out again.” 

“I'm so fixated on protecting you and Madi from everything that I can't see that  _ I'm  _ what you need protecting from.” Clarke lets out a wet breath, feeling the tears gather in her eyes, blurring her vision. “I'm scared I'm going to ruin everything, and I—I can't do that again. Bellamy, I can't, I just  _ can't, _ not again. I—I—” 

Bellamy crosses the room in three long strides, his arms coming around her so fast that she barely understands how she ends up with her face pressed into his throat. It has been a hard day, a very hard one, and everything comes flowing out like the floodgates have just burst open. She cries so hard that her whole body wracks with her sobs, and she can't hear his low murmuring over the sounds of her own choked-off breaths. 

She doesn't realize how weak she's become until this very moment. One day of strain, and here she is, breaking under it. Used to, she could handle so much more than all of this, but these last six years have broken down her walls. She's not prepared for this new assault, already adjusted to an easier life where things were never like this. 

It all feels like too much, and she doesn't think she can handle it this time. And, in the same breath, she knows that she will. Of course she will, because she always has, because that's her only redeeming quality. She bears it so no one else has to, and she'll get right back to that as soon as her tears stop. Whenever that will be. 

It takes longer than normal, but she does eventually settle. Bellamy doesn't push her away, and she can't bring herself to back off. Instead, she keeps her face pressed to his throat, breathing shallowly, almost bewitched by the calm way Bellamy sways them back and forth. 

“Clarke,” Bellamy whispers, and the spell is broken. She leans away, sniffling, and he brushes her cheeks with his thumbs. “Hey, listen to me, okay? You're  _ not  _ a threat to Madi, and neither am I. We both want what's best for her, so we will work together to make that happen. But you can't leave her, and you can't leave me. You can't.” 

“I'll mess everything up,” Clarke croaks, downtrodden with the knowledge that she will. She always does. 

“Do you remember what I said to you?” Bellamy cups her face and stares at her intently. “Even if you burn the world, I don't care. I never want you to leave me, Clarke, no matter what. Please don't leave me, because I won't survive that.” 

She remembers that conversation, and she remembers her promise. She can't break it. If she did, she fears it might just break him. In truth, she doesn't even want to go anyway. 

Clarke stares up into his eyes, then slowly nods, her throat bobbing. “I'll stay, and I'll do my best not to burn the world. Better offer?” 

Bellamy quirks a small smile. “You always forget it at the worst of times, but you're a good person. Maybe you can't see it, maybe you can't  _ feel  _ it, but you really are. I love you for so many things, and that's one of them.” 

“Thank you,” Clarke whispers. 

“Anything for you, Princess,” Bellamy says softly, ducking his head and ever so gently kissing her. 

Clarke melts into him, feeling settled and calm for the first time since that ship fell from the sky. His lips brush over hers, tentative and sweet, and she sighs into it. If nothing else, she can trust him to keep her in check, to be the heart to her head. 

“Without you,” Clarke murmurs when Bellamy pulls away slightly to press their foreheads together, “I would have started a war.” 

“I know,” Bellamy tells her. “And do you know what I would have done when I walked into it?” 

Clarke hums. “What?” 

“I would have helped you fight it,” Bellamy whispers, punctuating his words by brushing another kiss to her lips. Then he pulls away fully and smiles at her crookedly. “But that's another life. In this one, we don't fight. We keep being us, and we do better. Someone wise told me that, and she was right.” 

“If only she could take her own advice,” Clarke says guiltily, swallowing thickly. 

Bellamy smiles at her. “She's got me for that.” 

“I love you,” Clarke tells him, and she has the strangest urge to say it on repeat, to yell it from the rooftops, to imprint the words on the world in a way that they can never be removed. 

“I know,” Bellamy replies easily, and that's exactly what she needs to hear. He drops off a quick kiss to her forehead. “Now, let's go out there and get caught up with our old friends while we take care of our daughter.” 

“Alright,” Clarke agrees, letting the pack slip from her shoulders, hitting the floor with a dull thump, “let's do that.”

* * *

The others look surprised when they first walk into the Village house. That's fair, Clarke supposes. The walls  _ are  _ covered in drawings of their faces. 

Clarke tucks Madi into bed, insisting that she tries to get some sleep. She has to tend to Madi's wounds, the scratches and gashes from escaping the Rover, then she pulls the covers up to her chin and kisses her forehead. She can't help but be worried about Madi, who is staring off into the distance with pained eyes, tears always on the cusp of falling. Shooting Dick is hitting her hard, and Clarke gets that, especially under the circumstances. There's just nothing she can do to help, unfortunately. 

Bellamy has the others gathered around the rickety table, but most of them are staring at the interior of the Village house in awe. The walls have been covered in their faces for a long time—some drawings belonging to Clarke, others done by Madi. Truthfully, it must come as a bit of a surprise that they were remembered in this way. 

"So," Bellamy says softly when Clarke steps up beside him, "six years, huh?" 

Monty's lips twitch. "Yeah. It's, uh, been a while. Raven and Murphy are going to be so relieved to know that you two survived." 

"How are they?" Clarke asks. 

"Good," Emori answers, her lips curling up with a touch of fondness. "John is John, same as always, and Raven is fine, too." 

"I know these six years must have been really hard for all of you," Bellamy murmurs. "We thought about you guys all the time." 

"Well," Monty says, "we survived because of you two. It was both of you who got us onto that ring. Raven had Murphy hold open the doors for as long as we could, but you two never came back…" 

Clarke clears her throat. "We had to align the dish for the signal to send. We—we knew we weren't making it back." 

"You climbed the tower?" Harper asks in surprise, raising her eyebrows. 

"It was either that, or you all die," Bellamy tells them with a quiet snort. "And, well, I guess you can figure out the rest. Clarke and I ran back to the lab. On the way, her helmet got cracked, so she was exposed to the radiation. That's when we found out that having nightblood did help you survive, so naturally, Clarke gave me some of her bone marrow. We found the Valley, Madi, and we've been living here ever since." 

Emori raises her eyebrows. "Just like that? Six years summed up in a paragraph. You two survived a literal death wave, happened upon a perfect Valley, then settled down to raise a child together?" 

"Pretty much," Clarke says with a small smile, slightly amused. "The rest is just...details." 

Monty takes a deep breath. "Well, we got on the ring in the nic of time. We all almost asphyxiated before we got the oxygen going. After that, I worked to get the algae farm going, and Raven dedicated her time to figuring out how we could get back to the ground when the time came. She kind of threw herself into it because she was so upset about you two being dead, and she worked  _ endlessly.  _ We all agreed to become a sort of democracy type of group, voting on things, so on. We split chores, Emori started learning from Raven, Echo started training everyone, and Harper helped me perfect the algae recipe. Murphy was very...Murphy about things, but Raven wasn't having his shit." 

"No," Emori agrees, amused, "she wasn't. John had gotten so bad that he and I—well, we fought a lot. I eventually called it quits, and he only got worse. I don't know, Raven just reached her limit one day, and she had it out with him. She made us come together and, um, reconnect, so to speak, with her help. John got better after that."

"Reconnect, huh?" Harper teases, waggling her eyebrows playfully. "Is that what we're calling it these days?" 

Emori makes a face at her. "Oh, shut up. Raven can be very persuasive when she wants to be. She's a force to be reckoned with." 

"Yes, she is," Echo mutters, tipping her head and widening her eyes. 

Bellamy chuckles, shaking his head. "Well, I'm glad everyone was mostly okay. I wish I could say the same about everyone in the bunker, but I just don't know. We tried digging them out, but we can't." 

"No contact at all?" Harper asks with a frown. 

"None," Clarke whispers. 

Monty sighs. "Well, I guess we'll find out tomorrow. And then, once everyone is all together, how are we going to split this Valley? Are there other Villages?"

"Yes," Clarke answers. "We'll have to build off of them to house everyone, so we'll be camping for a while, but there's plenty of room." 

Echo glances around the house. "You're just going to let these people take your home?" 

"We can pack up these things and find a home elsewhere," Bellamy mutters. "It's a small price to pay for peace." 

"Do you think the clans will break up again?" Emori asks curiously, shooting a look at Echo. 

Clarke blows out a deep breath. "I don't know. If they do, I hope they'll pause long enough for all of us to have a peace treaty. We don't have a  _ Heda  _ fighting for unity anymore." 

"She could." Echo's gaze turns to Madi, her face entirely blank. "She's a  _ natblida."  _

Clarke snaps up straight at the same time Bellamy does, both of them going tense and serious at once. It feels comforting to know that he's on the same page about this, at least, and something in her settles at having that united front again. 

"Madi will  _ not  _ become the next  _ Heda.  _ The time of the commanders is past," Clarke says sharply. "The  _ fleim  _ was destroyed."

Bellamy nods. "Clarke is right. She's  _ just  _ a child, and we won't stand for it." 

"I'm simply saying that she can unify the people and push for peace," Echo says calmly. "Tradition is strong in the clans. If anyone could, it would be the last living  _ natblida  _ on earth." 

"It's not up for discussion," Clarke snaps. 

Echo simply nods. "Of course." 

"I'm going to have to be up early," Bellamy murmurs, shooting Clarke a look. "I have a meeting with Diyoza before we all head off to the bunker to explain what happened to the Eligius people that never came back with us. Feel free to sleep anywhere, but if you're camping outside, stay in pairs and stick close to the house. Just...be cautious." 

"I'm going to stay up a bit longer," Clarke tells him quietly. "If I'm still up, I'll wake you." 

Bellamy frowns at her, but he doesn't argue. "Okay, but come to bed at some point. You need some rest."

"Sure," Clarke lies. 

In truth, she knows she won't be getting any sleep tonight. She's too on edge, too worried about Madi, too tense. Bellamy knows her well enough to know that she's lying, but he doesn't call her out on it. He just lightly squeezes her arm and sighs, heading over to Madi to kiss her on the forehead before sluggishly plopping down into the bed with a groan. 

"We'll take the floor," Harper says with a kind smile, leaning into Monty's side. 

Clarke smiles back. "I'll grab some blankets and pillows. What about you, Emori, Echo?" 

"Floor," Emori says simply. 

Echo cuts her gaze to the door. "I'll be outside." 

"In pairs," Bellamy mumbles from the bed, his words muffled by the pillow. 

"I'll go out with you," Clarke tells her. 

Echo nods, and Clarke putters around to get the others situated. It's pretty late, and after the last few hours, everyone must be pretty tired. They all look ready to drop, and Clarke envies them. She's too keyed up to rest, and she guesses Echo might be feeling the same exact way. 

Something about being warriors, Clarke supposes. 

After the others are sprawled out on the floor, Clarke shuffles around them to lightly kiss Madi's forehead. She's asleep, but it appears to be fitful rest, her face scrunched, a furrow in her brow. Clarke wants to soothe away her strain and worries, but she can't—she's never felt so powerless. 

With nothing else to do, she pulls away from Madi and turns to face Echo. They share a brief look, then move towards the door. They don't go farther than the porch, silently settling in the chairs that Bellamy built with his own hands—one he's just recently finished. They stare off into the night and don't speak for a very long time. 

Clarke has spent a good portion of the last six years thinking about who she is as a person, and it has only taken one day to blow what she believed to smithereens. Whatever growth she'd hoped to have seems like a distant, made-up dream now. 

How is she  _ still  _ like this? 

Maybe she's being too hard on herself, she thinks. Clarke refuses to feel guilty for the things she's prepared to do for Madi and Bellamy. Maybe it's not about the lengths she would go, if necessary; maybe it's about the fact that she pauses long enough to hold off from doing them. Sure, she needs Bellamy to step in and be her impulse control, but at least a small part of her is willing to listen. That has to count for something, right? 

She never  _ wants  _ to do the horrible things she's done, and she always tries to exhaust every other option first. Yet, in the end, she still did the horrible things that had to be done, and she's changed from it. Now, it's like she always expects it to reach that point, and she prepares herself to do those things before it's even necessary. Does that make her a bad person? 

Clarke thinks it does. No, she  _ knows  _ it does. Doing bad things in the names of those you love and want to protect doesn't make the actions any less wrong. 

Maybe, this time, it doesn't have to be that way. Bellamy is striving for that, and Clarke thinks she should as well. She's not sure how easy it will be, but she has to  _ try.  _ On this, she's just going to have to follow his lead because he's trying to do good here. She can do the same, right up until that's not an option anymore—if it reaches that point, and god, she really hopes it doesn't get that far. 

"You don't trust these people," Echo suddenly murmurs, drawing Clarke out of her own head. 

Clarke blinks and looks over at Echo, taking in the outlined impression of her in the dark. Quietly, she says, "No, I don't." 

"But you've decided to trust me." Echo turns to look at her, face blank, eyes strangely bright in the night. 

"I trust them," Clarke mumbles, indicating the others in the house with a jerk of a chin, "and they seem to trust you. For now, that's enough." 

Echo is silent for a beat. "Bellamy seems to trust this Diyoza woman." 

"No, he  _ wants  _ to trust her," Clarke corrects. She sighs and scans the Village. It's oddly still outside of the few people gathered around a small fire in the distance. "Look, we've had our issues in the past. So have you and Bellamy. But you spent six years with some of the people I trust the most, good people, and if they've decided you're trustworthy, then I will believe them. Besides, Raven is a good judge of character usually, and it's not like we can't use all the help we can get." 

"You're smart." Echo doesn't say it like it's a kind compliment. No, it's more of a respect thing. "These people...you don't think we can coexist with them." 

Clarke blows out a deep breath. "I  _ hope  _ we can, but I don't know. I just...don't know. But, I mean, there was a time that we didn't think we could coexist with Grounders, and I know that's not true." 

"Madi isn't a good example of that. She was a Grounder child, but you raised her as your own." 

"I wasn't talking about Madi. I was talking about Lincoln, Niylah, Lexa, Indra, Roan...and now  _ you,  _ I guess. I'd rather share this Valley with all the Grounders left than these people. The enemy you know, and all that, except it's hard to see every Grounder as an enemy after everything." 

"If the Grounders and the Sky People could learn to coexist over time, what makes you think that these people will be an issue?" Echo leans forward, her lips tipping down. "What don't we know?" 

Clarke lets out a soft laugh, shaking her head. "I'm not withholding information, Echo. The reason I find it hard to believe that we can connect with these people, but we could with Grounders, is that we've already warred with each other. We went through the end of the world together. We all became Grounders in the end. Eligius? They're the new Sky People." 

"You think it will play out like last time." 

"I'm hoping it doesn't." 

"Yet, you're preparing for it," Echo murmurs. 

"Yeah," Clarke whispers, "I am." 

Echo hums and leans back in her chair, looking up at the night sky. "Me too." 

"If—if things go bad…" Clarke trails off, unsure how to ask for Echo's loyalty after everything. 

"You'll see how trustworthy I am," Echo says simply, not looking away from the sky. 

Clarke clears her throat, strangely thankful to have that reassurance. For all of Echo's faults, she's an undeniably good warrior. It'd be nice to have her on their side for once. "Thank you." 

"I won't be doing it for you." 

"I don't care. We all have our motivations. Whatever yours are doesn't matter to me, not as long as it helps in the long run." 

Echo scoffs lightly. "Spoken like a true leader." 

"Excuse me?" Clarke blinks. "What is that supposed to mean?" 

"It  _ means,"  _ Echo says sharply, "that leaders do not care about the whims and motivations of their warriors, only that they go to war in their stead. That way, when they die, they don't have to think about what that person just lost, only what they've gained. A leader's motivation is to win and ensure the survival of their people. A warrior's motivation is more personal. That is why a leader will press on in spite of loss, but a warrior will die in a war that they won't reap the benefits from." 

Clarke swallows. "I'm not like that. I—I don't want anyone to die, and I'd fight and die for a cause just like anyone else if it's worth believing in." 

"Don't mistake my words for disrespect because they're not. You and Bellamy lead people. You're also warriors in your own ways, but when it comes down to it, you're leaders first." Echo shrugs and looks over at Clarke, tipping her head. "It's not a bad thing. Leaders survive the longest." 

"Lexa didn't." 

"And look what sparked because of her death. More war, more loss. As I said, leaders press on. If they don't, people won't believe in the cause anymore." 

"So, you think this is necessary?" Clarke asks, waving a hand around the Village. "Being precautious and prepared to go to war?" 

"I think it's never wrong to keep your guard up," Echo says simply. "It's better to be on alert for no reason than to be blindsided due to misguided hope for peace. Not being ready to fight ensures a loss if war breaks out." 

Clarke nods. "I agree." 

"Let's just hope there's no need for it," Echo says quietly. "The last war cost many lives on both sides, and the fighting continued up until the end of the world. I would hate for that to happen again." 

"Echo," Clarke says, drawing her gaze, "you have my word that I'll do everything in my power to avoid that. Not only for my motivations, but also for yours. Leader or not, I don't want to see either of us lose anything we would fight for." 

Echo doesn't respond. She simply holds Clarke's gaze for a long moment, then she nods and looks away. An understanding seems to pass between them, and Clarke can't exactly explain what it is, but she feels it all the same. Surprisingly, it feels comforting, and Clarke settles a bit. 

In a weird way, Clarke feels validated. In an even stranger turn of events, she realizes that she doesn't need a war to know she trusts Echo. 

They don't speak for the rest of the night. 

* * *

Clarke stays up until the sun rises, sitting in the chair opposite of Echo. When it's time, she goes inside to wake Bellamy up, stepping over Monty's sprawled limbs. Bellamy eventually drags himself from bed and changes clothes, and Clarke moves over to wake up Madi. 

"How'd you sleep?" Clarke whispers when Madi sits up with a small frown. 

Madi just stares at her blankly. "I dreamt of that man. Of all of them. I couldn't drop the gun, no matter how hard I tried. They all died, even in my dreams." 

"Madi," Clarke says softly, her tone pained, "I'm so sorry. I—I wish I could tell you that it gets easier, but that would be a lie. It was an  _ accident.  _ You have to remember that." 

"The others weren't an accident. I'm lying on purpose." Madi averts her eyes. 

Clarke swallows thickly. "Okay. Okay, hold on." 

It's stupid. Clarke  _ knows  _ it's stupid. It is, quite possibly, the one thing that could trigger a war, the very thing that they're all trying to avoid. It's the worst idea when no one is freed from the bunker, no less, but Clarke thinks it's necessary. 

If they're trying to do good, to be better, then this has to be a step in the right direction. It can't be just doing the right thing when it benefits them, or it's not the right thing at all. 

Bellamy is still blinking blearily when Clarke approaches him, but he smiles and says, "How's Madi feeling this morning?" 

"Worse," Clarke says bluntly. "Actually, that's what I'm here to talk to you about. You said we have to do better, right? That we have to try and trust Diyoza?" 

"Yes." Bellamy nods carefully, frowning at her. "What is this about, Clarke?" 

"Lying about shooting those people is wrong," Clarke murmurs. "It's ripping Madi apart, and it's only making this worse on her. If—if telling Diyoza can help, then we should." 

Bellamy's eyes bulge, his voice raising. "Absolutely  _ not.  _ We just talked about avoiding war, and you—" 

"Stop," Clarke cuts him off sharply. "Doing the right thing is just that, full stop. Madi made a  _ mistake.  _ We did what we had to do to protect her. If Diyoza can't understand that, especially after giving us permission to kill anyone who attempts to harm a child, then she can't be trusted." 

"I understand what you're saying, Clarke, I really do," Bellamy hisses earnestly, "but we can't take that risk. It's our only chance to stop a war. We  _ have  _ to lie, or we could ruin everything." 

"Why is it that you get to beg me to trust these people, using the excuse that we have to do better and believe others are capable of good, but when I want to test that, it's suddenly a problem?" 

"Because  _ everyone  _ is capable of good and bad, but people react in what they feel is necessary. If Diyoza decides it's an act of war, we will all die. Do you understand that?" 

Clarke tilts her chin up. "You told me that I couldn't know if Diyoza was a bad person, Bellamy. I'm telling you that we can't know what will happen. What we  _ do  _ know is that our child is  _ suffering,  _ and it's wrong to punish her further with guilt and pain by asking her to lie about it. We're setting a good example for her, right? So let's do that." 

"I—I—" Bellamy looks at a loss, and he stops speaking for a long moment. Finally, his eyes slide over to Madi, no doubt taking in her state, and his face softens. "This could go so wrong." 

"I know," Clarke whispers. "But we should do it, not because we have to, but because it's the right thing to do. In the long run, not telling Diyoza could also start a war. Let's just...do better this time." 

Bellamy blows out a deep breath, but after a moment, he nods. "Okay." 

Clarke nods and steps away from Bellamy, moving over to Madi and urging her quietly to get up and get presentable. The others peacefully sleep on as Clarke exits the house with Bellamy and Madi. They stop by to let Echo know they will return, to be on her guard, and then they walk the short distance to Diyoza's claimed home. 

When Diyoza answers, it's obvious that she's been awake for quite a while. She glances between the three of them without giving away her surprise, but Clarke can sense it when her gaze lingers on Madi for a beat too long. It makes Clarke nervous, makes her hesitant to do this, but she still guides Madi inside when Diyoza waves them in. 

"Tea?" Diyoza asks, holding up what clearly is not a bottle of tea with an arched eyebrow. 

Clarke clears her throat. "No, but thank you. Actually, before we discuss other important matters, there's something that—that you need to know." 

Diyoza slowly sits down the bottle and looks between them carefully. "Well? Get on with it." 

"Madi," Bellamy murmurs, looking down at her, "I know you're scared, but you're right that it's wrong to lie. If you want us to explain, we will, but—" 

Madi cuts him off by stepping forward, visibly trembling but tilting her chin up, and she strongly says, "I killed Dick." 

"Did you?" Diyoza asks, her gaze latching onto Madi with a gleam of calculation. "Explain." 

"It—it was an accident," Madi whispers, her voice getting smaller. "I didn't mean to, but I—I thought that you and your people were torturing or killing Clarke and Bellamy. I only wanted to ask him questions to figure out where they were, so I took his gun and—and I put it to his head." Her eyes close, tears escaping and running a path down her cheeks. "Someone yelled out for me in the woods, and it surprised me, and I didn't  _ mean  _ to pull the trigger, but—but it just...it just  _ happened.  _ It happened, and then he was dead, and I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I didn't—I never wanted to—" Madi ducks her head, her breath heaving as her whole body trembles, fully sobbing now. "It's my fault, all of this is my fault, and if you have to kill someone, please kill me. Not them. They—they didn't—" 

"Stop," Diyoza says firmly, holding up a hand. Her expression gives nothing away on her face, and she cuts her gaze to Bellamy. "The others?" 

Bellamy takes a deep breath. "They threatened Madi's life, so I killed them all. They wanted war, and they wanted Madi to be the first casualty. I take full responsibility for their deaths and Dick's. Madi made a mistake, Diyoza." 

"Bellamy,  _ no,"  _ Madi whimpers, reaching up with shaking hands to scrub at her cheeks. 

"Initially," Clarke presses on, taking a deep breath, "we intended to lie to you to avoid war. We decided to—to try for trust instead. You can kill all of us right now, leave our people in the bunker, and that's your decision. We just have to hope you won't make it, and that you'll see that we're willing to work with you and do better from this point forward." 

Diyoza stares at them for a long tense moment, then she lifts up the bottle and unscrews the top, tilting the bottle up to take a deep gulp. She doesn't even flinch and simply swallows. After, she sits the bottle down and walks around the counter, slowly approaching Madi. Her gun is on her, and Clarke tenses. It takes everything in her not to attack Diyoza right then and there, but she forces herself to hold off and hope. 

"Do you feel guilty, child?" Diyoza asks, stopping in front of Madi, looking at her steadily. "Do you see their faces when you close your eyes?" 

Still crying, Madi rasps out a weak,  _ "Yes." _

"Good," Diyoza tells her softly, "hold onto that. Remember it the next time you point your gun at someone. No matter who you kill, or try to, those people stick with you. Think about who you want to be haunted by, then decide if you're willing to make another mistake. Do you understand?" 

"I do," Madi whispers. "I'm so sorry." 

"I can see that," Diyoza murmurs. "I'm willing to forgive it, as well as Clarke and Bellamy's choices. Do you know why?" 

Madi swallows and blinks, looking stunned. "You are? Why?" 

"Because, when I killed, it wasn't an accident. When Dick killed, he didn't feel remorse. When the others threatened your life and the peace, they did it in search of war, not justice." Diyoza tilts her head, holding Madi's gaze. "You all recognize that your actions were wrong, and you put your own lives in danger to be honest about it. That leads me to believe that you all want trust and peace, and lucky for all of you, I want the same." 

"I don't feel better," Madi admits, slumping further in on herself as she shoots Clarke and Bellamy a glance, her eyes welling up with tears. 

Diyoza nods. "You won't. You've done all you could, but now you have to live with it. That's punishment enough for you, I think. Now, I need to speak with your parents. Go home." 

Madi looks up at them with wide eyes, her throat working, and Clarke nods. "Go ahead. Run straight home and don't come out unless Echo is with you." 

"Okay," Madi says softly. She starts to turn away, only to pause and look at Diyoza, her lips tipping down. "You're pregnant, right?" 

"Yes," Diyoza answers simply. 

Madi licks her lips and nods. "If—if things are okay one day, and I get to know your baby, I  _ promise  _ I'll never let anything happen to it. I'll keep it safe, just like you're helping keep my family safe." 

Diyoza stares at her for a long moment, faint surprise flickering over her face, but she seems to sense the gravity in Madi's words, the serious weight to them, because she nods slowly. "I appreciate that, Madi." 

With one more firm nod, Madi turns around and darts out of the house, shutting the door behind her. A long silence follows. 

"Again," Bellamy says, "I take full—" 

"Stop," Diyoza cuts in with a sigh, "I wasn't lying to the kid when I said I'm letting it go. Let me be clear, I am not a  _ 'three strikes, you're out'  _ type of person. You get one fuck up, then you're dead if you try for a second. Am I clear?" 

"Crystal," Clarke says, relief sweeping through her. She releases a shaky breath, standing her ground. "I know it has to be more than that. That could be an act of war, and people don't just  _ excuse  _ that." 

"A mistake is a mistake," Diyoza tells her simply, shrugging. "Ensure that she doesn't make another one, or there will be nothing I can do. And, to be fair, I did say you could handle anyone threatening a child's life, so  _ technically _ , neither of you did anything wrong outside of thinking about lying about it. But you didn't, and I can respect that. There is also the fact that killing your people will ensure the death of mine because I need your doctors." 

"The terms still stand," Bellamy murmurs. "We will do everything we can to heal your people." 

Diyoza nods. "In that case, why don't we have a drink and finally write out this peace treaty? After that, we free your people so they can save mine." 

The door suddenly bursts open, and Shaw comes barreling into the room unannounced. "Colonel, we have a problem!" 

"Shaw?" Diyoza snaps straight up. "What is it?" 

"Someone's on our ship," Shaw declares, his eyes a little wide. "The one in Space. I was doing a routine check and found that someone had broken into the files. Whoever it is, they have complete control over the other inmates, and they're  _ good.  _ They've basically been giving me the finger all morning!" 

Bellamy clears his throat. "Uh, about that. See, here's the thing, that's...Raven." 

"Raven?" Diyoza repeats. "The one who—" 

"Flew unflyable rockets? Yeah, the very same. We've been meaning to tell you. The others that came down from Space used your ship to do it, and Raven and one other stayed behind. They won't do anything, and if we can communicate with them, they'll just hang tight until you go get the others. I promise they mean no harm," Bellamy says, holding up his hands carefully. "They'll give you back complete control if we tell them to, but Raven is just curious and headstrong"

"This looks like mistake number two to me, Bellamy Blake," Diyoza says tightly. She glares at him, her lips pressing into a thin line. 

Clarke shakes her head rapidly. "We didn't know about this until last night, and we planned to tell you this morning. Nothing has  _ happened,  _ and nothing will. Your people are fine, right?" 

"Yeah, they're all untouched," Shaw admits. "We just can't wake them up if we want to." 

Diyoza frowns, reaching in her pocket to pull out her radio. "Alright, it's not a mistake just yet. Make sure it won't be. Tell your girl to give Shaw control back, or I'll consider it fuck up number two." 

"No problem," Bellamy says easily. He holds out his hand while Diyoza changes the frequency, then shares a grin with Clarke as she hands it to him. Slowly, visibly excited, he brings the radio up to his mouth. "Raven? Murphy? Hey, can you hear me?" 

Clarke's heart thumps unevenly, and for the first time since the day before yesterday, it's not out of fear. She's been radioing Raven for six years, not regularly, but often enough. She can't help but edge closer, listening to the crackle with hope in her chest. This time, Raven answers. 

Sounding awed, Raven's voice breaks over the radio as she says, "Bellamy? Is—is that you?" 

"Hey, Raven," Bellamy rumbles, his face lighting up in delight, "it's me, but it's not just me." 

When Bellamy holds out the radio, Clarke leans in with a small laugh and says, "It's so good to hear your voice, Raven." 

"Clarke?!" Raven blurts out. "How is this possible? Wait, Murphy, stop. No, I swear to—" 

"And they call  _ me  _ the cockroach," Murphy says over the radio with a snort. 

"Move, Murphy," Raven snaps, only to immediately let out a breathless laugh. "Clarke, Bellamy, tell me everything. How is this happening right now?" 

"It's a long story, but first, we have something else to discuss," Bellamy murmurs. He shares a small smile with Clarke. "Back off on being a badass, we're not at war." 

As Raven immediately shoots off with questions, Clarke feels her lips curl up in relief as she leans into Bellamy's side. His words filter through her head, and she thinks he might just be right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah, this got a bit tense. Rest assured, Bellarke are going to be fine, I promise. I know it's troubling when they fight and butt heads, but it really isn't always smooth sailing between them. They have such fierce, headstrong personalities and a deep, DEEP desire to do things to, well, help...not always in the best ways, mind you, but they try. 
> 
> I'm sure some people won't like the way Bellamy handled Clarke at the beginning of this chapter, and honestly, I wasn't exactly happy writing it. However, they're *them*, so ofc they're gonna be little shits and fight from time to time. 
> 
> As for Clarke's internal struggles this chapter, we've all seen how little forgiveness she grants herself in canon, and she will get better with that. Bellamy helps. 
> 
> On a brighter note, I really freaking adore Diyoza, okay? Writing her has been a damn delight, let me tell you! 
> 
> As for next chapter, you'll be seeing the Bunker, and I am practically giddy and nervous about how you're all going to react to how I have it play out. 
> 
> But that's next Friday ;)
> 
> If you enjoyed this chapter, or you just wanna bemoan about some things, don't hesitate to do so in the comments. I really don't mind, and I really love every single one ❤ With that being said, see you next Friday!
> 
> Ta! 
> 
> -SOBS


	4. The Surface

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Welcome back to the next chapter! This week comes with a bit of warnings. Again, nothing heavier than in the show, but still: 
> 
> Be warned for heavy discussions, talks about cannibalism, general Blodreina activity, vague descriptions of fighting, alluding to murder on more than one occasion, and also some angst for the girl under the floor. 
> 
> I'll talk a bit more in the end notes about some things in this chapter, but again, nothing is heavier than the show because The 100 has gone to some fucked up lengths tbh. But anyone who has read up to this point, you'll be fine to read on. 
> 
> With that being said...enjoy?

Bellamy watches Clarke carefully braid Madi's hair with a small smile. They're all getting ready to board the Eligius ship and head across the wasteland to get into the bunker. Finally, after six years, he's going to get to see his sister again. 

Madi's not exactly feeling better, but she did demand cool braids so that she'd look good the first time she ever met Octavia. Clarke is willing to indulge her every desire right now, especially in light of her mounting guilt and sorrow, so Madi is getting some pretty intricate braids at the moment. 

"It's nice to see you smiling again." 

Bellamy rips his gaze away from Clarke and Madi to see Monty standing beside him, wearing a smile of his own. "Oh yeah? Well, it's nice to see it from you, too. Six years is a long time to go without one of Monty's bright smiles, you know." 

"Six years is a long time to go thinking that you and Clarke were dead," Monty murmurs, his smile falling away, his eyes softening with sadness. 

"Yeah, it is." Bellamy clears his throat and ducks his head, warily looking up a moment later. "Did you all grieve for us?" 

Monty simply nods. "You know we did. Raven did for the longest. It, uh, hit her really hard. Every year we had a memorial service kind of thing. I mean, there wasn't much we could do on the ring, but we'd go dark and sit in silence at dinner, and then we all talked about you two—told stories, brought up memories, things like that." 

"I wish we could have told you," Bellamy murmurs, heaving a sigh. "We tried to radio you guys pretty often when we had the time, but it eventually stopped being about getting a hold of you. I don't know. I think it was a way to still feel connected to all of you because we missed you. And we told Madi stories pretty much every night. I mean, you saw the drawings. I guess, in a way, we grieved you all, too." 

"You summed up your time here pretty quickly, but I know that can't be all there was," Monty says, eyeing him curiously. 

Bellamy huffs a small laugh and shrugs. "Yeah, I guess you could say that. It was, uh, a long six years, to put it lightly. It took us a while to find the Valley, and we thought there was nothing but wasteland for a while. We, um, gave up after some time, just hunkered down and waited to die. We probably would have if we didn't see a bird, and then we figured it had to live  _ somewhere,  _ so we followed it." He shakes his head with a snort. "It took us a while to find Madi. Well, she found us. Actually, she led Clarke into a bear trap and stole some of our food. We eventually gained her trust and she stayed, so we started teaching her. Things were easy and hard at the same time because we couldn't—we were never fully happy because our people were trapped away from us. But we were happy at the same time." 

"I get that," Monty admits. "Up there on the ring, things were… I won't say easy, but they were simple. We were safe and secure. I had Harper and friends, I had the algae farm, and I… I don't know. I guess I just felt better than I had in years." 

"Yeah, that's exactly it. Peace. We had peace." Bellamy grins crookedly when Monty nods, his eyes brightening with happiness. "So, you found that the farm life was for you, huh?" 

Monty rolls his eyes, but he also laughs, only for him to sober up abruptly. "It's—it isn't about the farming, not really. After Jasper, I just—I realized that I didn't want a life I had to fight for, you know? I wanted a life where I didn't have to fight. Call it simple if you want, but that's what I prefer." 

"I think you deserve that," Bellamy admits quietly, glancing over at Madi and Clarke again. "I think we all do. Especially after everything." 

"Once we bring everyone home, we'll finally have it, I think," Monty declares, standing a little taller, his smile growing again. "I  _ hope,  _ anyway." 

Bellamy starts to reply when he sees Harper walking over out of the corner of his eye. He waits for her to stop in front of them, then says, "Hey." 

"What are we talking about?" Harper asks cheerfully, her smile wide. 

"Ah, you know, a simpler life," Monty replies easily. He leans in to kiss her quickly, his gaze fond. "Where are you coming from?" 

"Emori and Echo are fussing in Trig, so I left them to it." Harper shrugs. "You two look like you're having a nicer conversation." 

"What are they fussing about?" Bellamy asks. 

"From the snippets I caught, I think they were complaining about a couple of men here who, uh, aren't taking the time to clean up." Harper winces, even if her eyes dance with mirth. "I don't think the Eligius people like it when we don't speak English."

_ "Ai nou gifa in," _ Bellamy mutters, rolling his eyes. 

"You don't give a fuck? Really?" Monty's lips twitch and he shrugs when Bellamy's eyebrows raise. "Echo and Emori taught us all a couple of things." 

Harper snorts and shares an amused look with Monty. "So, Bellamy, what's the wasteland like? I mean, I know we're going to be flying over it, but is there really  _ no  _ viable land anywhere?" 

"None." Bellamy wrinkles his nose. "We've explored a good portion of it, and outside of the Valley, it's all basically the same. Hot sun, hot sand, hot rubble. There's also some really bad storms—sand that moves so fast that it cuts like glass. The only thing worth anything on this planet is the Valley." 

"It'll be a long time before the planet will grow back over," Monty says with a frown. "Like, hundreds of years after we're dead." 

Harper clicks her tongue. "End of the world two-point-oh. Didn't stick the first time, so it won't the second." 

"Third time's a charm," Bellamy mutters sarcastically. 

"Let's hope not," Monty says easily. "And hey, don't look so down. Think about it like this, our children's children's children  _ might  _ have a viable planet some day." 

Bellamy stares at him flatly. "Wow, so encouraging. It's really great to have you back, Monty." 

"Bellamy!" 

They all glance up to see Clarke waving at them, pointing to the ship where people are starting to board with the proper tools to bust into the bunker. Bellamy's stomach flips, and for a second, he's frozen in place. The tips of his fingers start to tingle, and a part of him can't believe this is real. 

He's actually going to get to see his sister again. After six years, he's going to be able to hug her, talk to her, introduce her to his daughter. 

"Come on," Harper says, "time for us to see our people again." 

Bellamy swallows and takes a deep breath, then he croaks, "Yeah, let's go." 

* * *

Admittedly, Bellamy can't really keep still while everyone gets in place to break through to the bunker. He fidgets restlessly, shifting in place, watching in rapt attention beside Madi and Clarke. He tries not to show just how nervously excited he is, but he can't settle down, not yet. 

Not until he's hugged his sister. 

He hopes she's okay. He hopes everyone is. Six years under the ground can't have been easy, and he knows that there will be an adjustment period for everyone, a lot of catching up to do. But there's a new world and easy life waiting right around the corner, and he desperately wants to see how relieved Octavia will be when she finds out about it. 

"Alright, this is how this is going to work," Diyoza calls out, gathering everyone's attention. "We're going to break through the ground and send Bellamy down first, then Clarke. After that, I'll drop down. We'll send someone else down, then we'll start to bring everyone up." She glances around to make sure everyone is paying attention, then she nods and circles her finger in the air. "Alright, in that case, let's go to work. Get to it!" 

It doesn't take that long to bust through to the bunker, and Bellamy is moving forward the moment Diyoza signals for him to get strapped in so the crank can lower him down. Clarke hovers on the sidelines, shooting Madi quick reassuring smiles where she's standing beside Echo and Harper. 

Once Bellamy is hooked up, he steps off the ledge and swings in the air, squinting to try and see past the light that beams down in the bunker. He can't see anything. Slowly, they start to lower him, and he notices the drop in temperature almost immediately. The farther down he goes, the colder it gets, and the smell of sweat and blood hits his nose before his foot even touches the ground. 

He unhooks himself like the man named Garrett taught him, then steps forward past the light to peer around. He doesn't get to take everything in, however, because the first thing he sees is Octavia. 

The smell of blood and sweat doesn't matter. The ominous silence barely even registers. He stares at his little sister for a moment, his chest nearly caving in with relief. She looks different, but six years does that to everyone—the shorter hair, the red war paint, the blood-splattered clothes  _ don't matter.  _ What does is the shock and pure relief opening her face, the way her eyes widen like they used to when she was really young and Bellamy would promise to always,  _ always  _ keep her safe. 

"Bell?" Octavia whispers. 

"Hey, O," Bellamy rasps, his lips spreading into a wide smile as he opens his arms and starts forward.

She releases a stunned sound that seems to punch out of her, and then she's rushing forward to slam into him, clinging with all her might. He closes his eyes and holds on for a moment, just breathing her in, relishing in the fact that, for the final time, Octavia is officially being freed once again. 

"I knew you'd come," Octavia gasps in his ear, sounding like she's just coming up for air for the first time in six years. "I  _ knew  _ you would." 

The sound of the crank working makes him pull back, craning his head to watch Clarke slowly descend. He steps back slowly to grab her hand and help her settle, unhooking her. Octavia draws closer, peering up into the sun with a small sound of wonder, then looking at Clarke with wide eyes. 

"Octavia," Clarke murmurs, her eyes bright and her smile growing. She moves forward like she's going to hug her, but Octavia catches her arm instead, gripping it tight. Clarke blinks, but she accepts it with a firm nod. "It's good to see you." 

"It's good to see you both," Octavia murmurs, her voice a hoarse croak as she turns her gaze back up to the sun. "It's good to see outside as well." 

"Well, hey," Bellamy jokes lightly, "it's a rescue." 

Octavia glances between them. "I can see that. How exactly is it—" 

She stops talking when Diyoza suddenly starts lowering down, her head swiveling as she takes everything in. For the first time, Bellamy feels the need to look around himself, and Clarke follows him in glancing around as Diyoza touches down and unhooks herself. 

Bellamy suddenly feels his heart dive to his stomach. This looks like a caged arena with weapons pinned in the fence. People outline the outside of it, utterly silent as they stare down at everything. No one seems to be rejoicing. Farther behind Octavia is Indra and her daughter, Gaia, both of whom are watching them carefully. 

"Nice place you got here," Diyoza says, looking over at Octavia with an arched eyebrow. "The war paint is a nice touch." 

Octavia flicks her gaze over to Bellamy. "What is this, Bell? Who is this?" 

"Your rescue," Diyoza says lightly. She looks around at all the people. "Everyone start gathering your things and get ready to be brought up. We're going to get everyone out of here." 

No one moves. 

Bellamy is a little baffled because no one reacts with any emotion to the offer of freedom. No one so much as  _ twitches,  _ and he looks over at Octavia, completely at a loss. He watches her scan the gathering of people, then she gives a small nod and jerks her head. Then, and only then does anyone make a move. Bellamy swallows. 

"Where's my mom?" Clarke asks. 

Indra steps forward. "I'll take her to see her mother for you." 

Octavia nods.  _ "Dula daun."  _

_ Do that.  _ Bellamy watches as Indra dips her head respectfully and jerks her head for Clarke to follow. After a beat, Clarke goes with one look to Bellamy. Something feels...off here. 

"So, how many people can I expect to save today?" Diyoza asks. 

Bellamy clears his throat. "Twelve hundred." 

"Eight hundred and fourteen," Octavia corrects in a rasp, rolling her head to the side. She pins a serious look on Diyoza. "Will that be a problem?" 

"Not at all," Diyoza says easily, glancing over at Bellamy. "We'll take two at a time. Would you like to go first… Sorry, what is your name?" 

"This is my sister," Bellamy murmurs, putting his hand on Octavia's arm, frowning at how utterly stiff she is at the moment. "Octavia, this is Colonel Diyoza." 

"Colonel?" Octavia repeats, but her tone turns icy and soft with threat, her gaze intense as she stares at Diyoza. 

"Used to be a long, long time ago," Diyoza corrects with a small smirk. "Oh, how time flies and how far we can fall." 

Another man drops down, leaving both straps hanging, and Diyoza turns slightly to face him. Bellamy feels more than sees Octavia grow even more tense, somehow. 

"Why are you armed?" Octavia asks sharply, taking a step forward. 

Bellamy feels something akin to fear slide down his back, and before he knows what he's doing, he's reaching out to halt his little sister. "Hey, woah, they're not a threat, O. We all have an understanding, and look, they're not the only ones who are armed." He opens his coat to show the gun on his hip. "No one's in danger, not anymore." 

Octavia doesn't look like she believes him. 

* * *

It takes a long time to get everyone out of the bunker, and Bellamy helps where he can. So does Octavia, surprisingly. She's the first to go up, and she doesn't let any of the Eligius people help those from the bunker, stepping forward to do it herself. Bellamy eventually takes over for the second strap, and Octavia doesn't protest. 

Bellamy does take a break when Gaia gets pulled up and takes over, and he checks on the others. Madi seems excited to meet Octavia, but Bellamy makes her hold off and stay in the tent that Monty and Emori put up. They're handing out water that Harper and a few other Eligius people cart from the ship, giving it to the people standing around in the heat, though no one seems to be complaining. Echo stays in the tent, keeping an eye on Madi. 

Things start to seem tense when people come up from the bunker that are armed and openly on edge, Miller among them. Bellamy is more than happy to see him, but Miller stands post near Octavia at all times, never taking his eyes off of the Eligius crew that putter around the space. 

Bellamy is starting to think that six years in the bunker was worse than just  _ not easy.  _ He looks around at everyone and thinks that, perhaps, it's changed them all in ways he won't understand. 

Maybe not in all bad ways, though. There doesn't seem to be a divide in clans at all. No one seems to be separated. In fact, they all seem as close-knit as any group can get, so Bellamy considers that a small mercy, at least. But that's about the only positive that he can tell. He wants to know how nearly four hundred people died in six years, and he wants to know why everyone looks at Octavia like she's a goddess, and he wants to know what has caused Octavia to look like she's capable of murdering the world and will, if necessary. 

Clarke doesn't come back up for a long time, but when she does, Kane and Abby aren't too far behind her. They almost immediately move over to the sidelines, ducking behind a crop of other tents with their heads tilted close together. They both look a little worse for wear, older and grayer, skinnier and more on edge. Abby's whole body trembles. Clarke leaves them behind the tent and approaches him.

"Something is wrong," Clarke hisses as she steps in front of Bellamy, staring up at him with wide eyes. "Everything has changed.  _ Everyone  _ has. Mom and Kane seem almost...scared of Octavia, and they're sure that she's going to kill Kane." 

Bellamy blinks.  _ "What?"  _

"I don't know, Bellamy. I—I don't get it," Clarke whispers. She shoots a glance at their tent. "Is Madi in there?" 

"Yeah." 

"I don't think she should meet Octavia, not yet, not until we've figured some of this out." 

"Octavia isn't going to hurt Madi, Clarke," Bellamy says. "No matter what's happened, she wouldn't harm a kid, okay?" 

Clarke nods. "I know that. Just—just wait until everyone is freed from the bunker. For me?"

"We'll wait," Bellamy agrees softly, and he hates how guilty he feels about it. "Everyone is almost up. That's when we pull Octavia aside and explain everything. Once she realizes that Diyoza and her people are allies, she'll relax a little." 

So, they wait. 

They linger around the tent and watch more people reach the surface. They gather what intel they can by observing, watching people interact, eavesdropping on whispered conversations as people walk past. They learn that those in the bunker are all now Wonkru, and Octavia is their leader, but that's about all they learn. 

Once everyone is up, Octavia and Gaia immediately leave their post at the straps, not offering to help Diyoza and Garrett at all. That's when Bellamy and Clarke approach her. 

"Hey, can we talk?" Bellamy asks, jerking his head towards the tent. 

Octavia nods. "Lead the way." 

There's a problem the moment they step inside the tent. Octavia is flanked by Gaia, Indra, Miller, a drastically different Cooper, and two other warriors with guns. They come to a halt the moment Octavia does, tense and coiled like they're ready to spring at her command. Bellamy almost doesn't notice, but then he sees Echo swiftly stand, and he glances back to see the shift in Octavia's expression. 

"O," Bellamy starts. 

Octavia simply says, "Kill her." 

Every gun behind her lifts instantly, and Bellamy curses sharply when Clarke immediately swivels and places her body in front of Echo's. It's not enough, Bellamy can see that it's not, that Octavia's command still stands, Clarke be damned. So, like an idiot, he slides to the side and holds his hands up, his eyes wide. Instantly, Octavia lifts her hand, stalling every gun that's poised to shoot. 

Octavia does not look like herself. She looks...empty. Her eyes are dead. Or, no, they're burning with such dark fury that it's like looking into a gaping abyss. Bellamy's heart races in his chest as he waits to see just how much she's changed, waits to see how much Miller has, waits to see if everyone else will slaughter innocents if Octavia asks. 

No one moves for a long time. 

"O," Bellamy says again, his voice soft and careful, "you can't just kill—" 

"Six years ago, I banished her," Octavia declares harshly. "My rule  _ still  _ stands. She was meant to die in  _ Praimfaya,  _ and because she did not, she will die today. Do not test me, big brother." 

Bellamy steps forward, only to come to a screeching halt when the guns snap on him more threateningly. He swallows. "Echo survived, and she helped us. We're moving forward in peace—no war, no death, no murder. To kill her is to commit a needless murder, and I know you, Octavia. You're better than that. Leave the past in the past, and let's move forward into the future." 

"My word will not be challenged," Octavia growls, narrowing her eyes. "I don't care what peace awaits me. She dies before I get there." 

"She saved our lives," Bellamy snaps, growing impatient. "There's so much you don't know. What are you going to do? Kill everyone in this tent just to get to her? Monty is in here. Clarke, Harper, a child.  _ Me,  _ your brother. I'm begging you, O, please just drop this. Let us—let me explain what's going on and what's happening next. Echo isn't what you need to be focused on, especially not when she's an ally." 

"She is a  _ traitor,"  _ Octavia hisses. 

Bellamy swallows. "By the looks of things, so are you. Right now, you have people ready to shoot me, to shoot Clarke, all so you can prove a point. How will you feel after we're all dead? Better?" 

"You  _ dare  _ speak to  _ Blodriena  _ that way!" Cooper shouts, stepping forward in anger, her gun moving closer as she holds the trigger tighter. 

"Aunty O?" 

Bellamy goes stiff when Madi hesitantly steps forward, looking at Octavia with trepidation on her face. The entire tent goes dead silent, and no one makes a move when Madi slowly walks forward to stand in front of Bellamy, looking right at Octavia, who blinks, her anger broken for a moment. 

"What did you just call me?" Octavia asks. 

Madi gulps, but she tries for a smile. "Aunty O. I, um, grew up hearing stories about you. Bellamy always told me you'd be a great aunt, and—and you've always been my favorite." 

Octavia snaps her gaze to Bellamy. "Explain." 

"I will," Bellamy says carefully, "but only  _ if  _ you promise to let Echo live in peace." 

"Bell—" 

"Those are my terms. Take them, or get out, or kill everyone in here, including your niece." 

There's another long, tense silence. Bellamy  _ hates  _ bargaining with Madi's life like this, and he is aware that Clarke is silently losing her shit behind him, but he also knows, deep down somewhere, that the Octavia he loves is still right in front of him. She's always been curious, and family is always important to her, and she would  _ never _ kill a child—especially not one claiming to be her niece. 

"Fine," Octavia spits, flicking her fingers. All the guns lower at once. She steps forward and glares at Bellamy, her lip curling in a snarl. "Your precious traitor can have her life and her peace, but if she betrays anyone in Wonkru, I  _ will  _ kill her. And, Bellamy, if you  _ ever  _ challenge me again, I will kill  _ you.  _ Now, explain." 

Bellamy releases a shaky breath and starts talking. 

* * *

Octavia listens. 

She does not interrupt, doesn't ask questions, doesn't add input. She simply listens with her arms crossed, taking in the information as Bellamy feeds it to her. He starts all the way at the beginning, explaining that he never made it to Space. 

He tells her about trying to get her out of the bunker, about how devastated he was that he couldn't. He explains about finding Madi, about raising her, about her being Madi's favorite. He talks about how the Eligius ship came down, who they are, what peace treaty they struck, and how Diyoza is to be trusted. He even goes into detail about how those in Space made it down to the ground, how Raven and Murphy will be home soon, how the world is at a better place now. 

In a way, it sounds like a fairytale ending, and he knows how hard that is to accept after the lives they've led. After everything, they just get happy ever after, peace and harmony? 

It sounds fake. 

But it's not, and he yearns for it. He wants it so badly that he can taste it. He aches for the peace that awaits them in the Valley, and it's so close that he can reach out and touch it. However, he realizes now that it will require Octavia being on board for everyone else to follow along. 

He can't control these people, not those in the bunker, not those from Eligius. Octavia will decide the fate of the future, and it scares him. Looking at her now, as  _ Blodriena,  _ he can see that his words do not easily reach her. He's not in charge, she is, and she can ruin everything with one order. She can bring upon the war he's been fighting to keep back this entire time. 

"They need our doctors," Octavia murmurs when he's fallen silent, her eyes calculating. 

Bellamy nods. "Yes, and we will let them use them. It's the reason you're out of the bunker now. It's the reason we're all alive at all." 

"They can't have them." 

"What? O—" 

_ "You  _ made that decision, Bellamy," Octavia says forcefully. "Not me. I didn't agree to it." 

"We need to help them," Bellamy says. "Can't you see that? We have a chance at peace, at sharing the Valley, at living  _ happily  _ for the first time in so long! Helping them is necessary." 

"For you, Bell.  _ You  _ need my doctors to help them," Octavia says simply. 

Clarke clears her throat. "My mom will help them, Octavia. And I will, too. Maybe Jackson, if you'll allow it. No harm will come to any of us. We'll just try to help, and if we can't, then we can't." 

"I don't want to help these people." Octavia glares at them both. "I don't trust them. They're not Wonkru, and if you're not Wonkru, you're the enemy of Wonkru. I won't share the Valley with enemies." 

"That's not your call," Bellamy says tightly. 

Octavia tilts her chin up. "Yes, it is. My people will not follow you, not anymore." 

Bellamy stares at her. He feels like his chest is crumbling in on itself the same way it did when he saw her in that bunker, but this time, it hurts far worse. "Why are you doing this, Octavia?" 

"Don't you see how easy it would be to take the Valley for ourselves?" Octavia drops her arms and releases a small laugh, her eyes bright. "We outnumber them by  _ hundreds.  _ We could turn on them in the Valley and take it. Or, we could just pretend to treat them and let them die off, then kill the rest. Why would I just give half the land to people who could start a war later?" 

"Octavia," Clarke says softly, "I thought the same exact thing—not because I  _ wanted  _ to, but because I felt I had to. Look, they're not all great people, and they're not  _ our  _ people, but they are  _ people.  _ Diyoza leads them, and she's proven her trust. Going to war could cost lives on both sides, and even if we won, we'd be no better than those we've fought before." 

"You think we'll have peace with people we can't trust, that could be a threat?" Octavia shakes her head. "I'm not doing that. We have the leverage, the numbers, the plan. We kill them all and we take the Valley. We'll win." 

"No!" Bellamy explodes, slamming a hand down on the table in the tent. A few guns half-raise, but he ignores them, completely gripped with fury and pure disbelief. He feels like he's about to rattle out of his skin, and he doesn't care that most of everyone is staring at him in shock for his outburst—not Octavia, though. No, she's glaring. "You may have the people, Octavia, fine. Have them if they're determined to follow you. But that Valley is my  _ home.  _ It is mine! You will  _ not  _ start a war over it, I won't allow it. Either you trust these people and learn to live with them in peace in the Valley, or you stay here with all of your followers who will remain, and you die. Decide." 

Octavia takes a step forward, her eyes blazing, leaning into his space to softly say, "You don't think we will come? If you leave me and my people here, you will be at war anyway, but you'll be on the losing side. Understand, Bell." 

The tent is dead silent, and Bellamy feels like he can hear his heartbeat in his skull. He leans forward to stare right into Octavia's eyes. "You can try and come, but you won't make it past the wasteland. You and your people will either starve here, or you'll die trying to reach a war you'll never get to fight. Understand, O, that I know this dead planet better than you, and I won't risk my home, my child, or the peace I've worked for because your hate and thirst for war has swallowed you whole." 

"You don't know Wonkru," Octavia grits out. 

"No, and it turns out that I don't know you either."

"I can have you killed where you stand." 

Bellamy raises his arms. "So do it. Kill me. Prove that everything I know about you is wrong. Prove that the girl I  _ know  _ is still in there is gone. Prove to me and to everyone here that you're willing to do things to save face, things that Lincoln would be disappointed in, things that could result in the death of people you claim to lead. Is your pride worth more to you than your precious Wonkru?" 

Octavia stares at him for a long moment, her entire body tense like a stray wind could make her crumble. Bellamy wants to reach out and hold her, to promise that she's going to be okay, that the world is open before her and her people. Instead, he keeps himself an open target and waits. 

Finally, Octavia snaps, "Out. Everyone, get out right now.  _ Gyon au!"  _

Instantly, everyone behind her ducks out of the tent, but everyone behind Bellamy stays put. He carefully turns and nods, begging them with his eyes to just leave. Monty and Harper file out first, followed by Echo and Emori. Clarke hesitates, but Bellamy nods towards Madi, and she takes a deep breath and steps outside while pushing Madi out in front of her. 

The moment they're alone, Octavia has a blade pressed to Bellamy's throat. He doesn't flinch. He simply looks at her sadly, looks at this girl he loves more than his own life, looks and wonders what has happened to her. She's broken, and he wants to help her, but she won't let him. 

"I'll never give up on you, O," Bellamy whispers, staring into her cold gaze. "You'll have to kill me if you want me to stop trying to help you." 

Octavia scoffs. "You have  _ no idea  _ what we've been through in that bunker, Bell. You don't understand the things I've done." 

"So  _ tell me,"  _ Bellamy insists, leaning  _ into  _ the blade to plead with her with his eyes. "Whatever you say won't make me love you any less. Whatever you've done won't make me stop trying to save you. That's all I've ever done my whole life, and I've failed you in so many ways, but I won't this time. I won't let you destroy yourself. I love you, O, and I want to help you, but you _ have  _ to let me." 

There are suddenly tears in Octavia's eyes, but they're not from his words. She just looks furious, like she's a ticking time bomb, like she's about to explode. "You don't know. I—I did things as a leader that I'll never come back from." 

"Why?" Bellamy asks. "Because I did things I can never come back from for  _ no reason."  _

"Do you want to know why four hundred people are dead?" Octavia hisses, stepping closer as tears fall, though she doesn't even seem to notice them. "The Dark Year, Bell. In the third year, our protein supply dropped. We were all going to die from starvation because we weren't getting enough protein." 

Bellamy's stomach tightens before he even realizes what that means, how those two things even connect. The moment he gets it, he feels like he's going to be sick. His stomach actually recoils in on itself, and he suddenly recalls a memory from years ago as he sat above the bunker and assumed that everyone inside was eating a balanced meal. 

They were, but  _ oh god.  _

"Yeah," Octavia rasps, bearing her teeth into a sharp grin that's not at all pretty. "Now he gets it. Our favorite local doctor made it clear that we had to become cannibals, and when people didn't want to do it, she said I'd have to make it against the law. I had to kill people for not  _ eating people,  _ Bell. Isn't that fucked up? Do you still want to help me? Do you still want to save me, big brother?" 

"Octavia," Bellamy whispers, that one word a trembled exhale of shock. 

"I have blood on my hands and in my teeth. So does all of Wonkru," Octavia hisses. "What's a little more?" 

Bellamy reaches out and grabs the blade, letting it cut into his palm as he shoves it down. Before she can so much as react, he's stepping forward to wrap his arms around her, pressing his face into her hair and crying. Sobbing for her and the people she had to kill, the people she didn't, the people who will always carry this weight with them—her most of all as the leader who made them do it. 

Because it was her only choice. 

It's horrific, of course it is, but he  _ understands  _ now. As disgusting and tragic as it is, he can't help but wonder what he would have done in her position. He doesn't know. He doesn't, and that's how he knows she's stronger than him. Maybe she always has been. 

It strikes him then how young she is. She's  _ only  _ twenty-three. So young and so burdened with so many impossible actions, and he knows what that feels like. He knows how it messes you up, how it changes you irreparably. Octavia isn't  _ bad,  _ isn't  _ broken;  _ she is him, she is Clarke, she is Jaha and Kane and everyone in the world who's had to lead people into horrible things, who's had to make decisions no human being should ever have to make, who's had to kill and force her people into things while a little bit of her dies inside every day. 

She never even fully recovered from losing Lincoln. This isn't fair. She doesn't deserve this. 

No one does.

Octavia is stiff in his grip for a long time, but she eventually drops her blade and sags into him, suddenly aware of her own tears. She doesn't hold them back, she just clings to him and weeps. He wraps her up and weeps with her, because this isn't something he can save her from. 

They cry until they laugh deliriously, then they cry again. They sob hard, and they weep soft, and they hold on so tight that bruises in the shape of their fingers will linger on each other for days. He tries to hold her together, and she falls apart in his arms. She is weak, and she is strong, and she isn't anyone she's ever been before—not the girl under the floor, not the girl in love with a Grounder, not  _ Skairipa,  _ not the winner of the Conclave. But, no matter what she isn't, she's still his little sister, always. 

So, Bellamy holds Octavia until she's just breathing against him. He gathers her up and guides her in, syncing their breaths until she's calmer. He lightly sways them back and forth, lulling her into a bubble of comfort. And, for just this moment, he lets her exist outside of cannibalism and  _ Blodriena _ and everything that's worked so hard to destroy her already. He protects her like he's always tried to, and this time, he doesn't fool himself into thinking that it will solve their differences. He does it because she needs him to and for no other reason. 

He doesn't pull away. He lets her do that when she wants, and it doesn't surprise him that it takes a long time. It doesn't surprise him that she's slow to do it, scrubbing roughly at her face when she does. 

"O," Bellamy says gently, "I can't go back and save you from that pain. I can't step up and help you shoulder the burden. The  _ only  _ thing I can do now is make sure that every horrible thing that's happened to you wasn't for nothing. Because these things happened to you, okay? You didn't do them. They just happened, and that's how it is sometimes, as gruesome as that is. But come with me,  _ please.  _ Come with me to this Valley with your people, and lead Wonkru into peace. Make it  _ mean  _ something. Right now, if you go to war, if you stay behind, it won't be something that happened to you; it will be  _ your  _ choice. I'm  _ begging  _ you not to." 

"Bell," Octavia rasps, pained. 

"Come with me," Bellamy begs again. "You don't have to like the Eligius crew. That's not required. The Valley is big enough to avoid our neighbors. Come, and bring your people. Find peace. Get to know my daughter who loves you  _ so much _ already. Lead Wonkru and keep them a family without bloodshed. Just—please, O,  _ please  _ come with me."

Octavia looks vastly conflicted, but that suggests she's wavering, that there's a chance. "What about the threat? You can't say that there isn't one."

"I'm not saying you lay down your weapons, Octavia," Bellamy murmurs. "Train, prepare, be ready if that comforts you. But it's like you said, right? We outnumber them and they  _ need  _ us. Why would they start a needless war? Diyoza wants that less than I do. Get to know her if you don't believe me. Just don't start a war. Finish it if one happens, but don't start it." 

"You have to understand what life we've lived for the past six years, Bellamy," Octavia tells him hoarsely, some of her resolve creeping back into her face. "I had to prove myself to become the leader, and I can't show weakness. Our lifestyle is… We have rules and ways, and we can't just change them anymore. If you're not Wonkru, you're the enemy of Wonkru, and that  _ still  _ stands." 

Bellamy grimaces and heaves a frustrated sigh, shoving a hand through his hair. "That was in the bunker, O. This is out in the real world now, and if people didn't expect changes, then they're not looking at the broader picture." 

"People weren't expecting to leave the bunker at all. After year five, we just...lost hope." 

"You didn't. You said you knew I'd come." 

"And I was right," Octavia says. "That doesn't change that we have a system here. I'm not upsetting it or changing anything. Me and my people did what we had to so we could survive."

Bellamy nods. "I know that. I  _ get  _ that. But this is the new world, right? Can't you introduce change? Maybe it doesn't have to be Wonkru or death, maybe it can be Wonkru or allies of Wonkru. We can all be allies, and that's the exact  _ opposite  _ of enemies." 

Octavia looks away, her lips tightening and flattening as her eyebrows draw together. After a beat, she moves closer to the flap in the tent, calling out, "Indra!" 

"Yes,  _ Blodriena?"  _ Indra murmurs, stepping into the tent with her head dipped respectfully. 

"I need your advice," Octavia admits, and Indra's head snaps up. "You know our option of war, one we can be certain to win. Bellamy offers a different option. Wonkru comes to the Valley with allies of Wonkru, and we learn to...share. He thinks we should continue to be battle-ready if we so wish, just in case a war  _ does  _ break out, but he feels that the chances of that are small." 

Indra flicks her gaze between Bellamy and Octavia, tilting her chin up. "I see. And you want to know what I think we should do?" 

"If I died right here, right now, and you were rightfully in charge, what would  _ you  _ do?" Octavia challenges, watching Indra carefully. 

"Octavia, you've proven the power of unity," Indra says. "Yes, those things were obtained through fighting, but that appears to no longer be needed. We've hoped for peace from the beginning, and to turn it away now for war could cost us that. We don't go to war because we  _ want  _ to, we go to war because we have to. If these Eligius people want to be allies,  _ I  _ would let them prove it, and I would take our people to the Valley in hope of a better life." 

Bellamy's eyes sink shut under the weight of his relief. Indra has always been a respectable person, and she speaks so wisely. Where Bellamy can get to Octavia emotionally, Indra knows how to speak about power. She knows what Octavia has done, what they've all been through, because she went through it, too. If Bellamy and Indra at the same time can't convince Octavia, then no one can. 

"How do you expect the people of Wonkru to react to change?" Octavia asks. 

Indra purses her lips for a moment, then says, "It may come as a shock, as we're all so used to a different way of life, but a kinder life is something no one would turn away after all we've been through. Some will question you undoubtedly, so you will have to silence them as you've silenced others for challenging you." 

Octavia nods. "As I thought. And, what, do you think we should change our rules? There will be no need for a pit in the Valley, so what will we do about the people committing crimes?" 

"Our way with the pit is not unlike the way of the Grounders. We are a unified people. If someone commits a crime, they should be punished for it." 

"A fight to the death?" 

"The Grounders punished in a way that fit the crime. Death for death, thievery for thieves, and so on. Many of us still remember those traditions, and many of us will honor them. It's fair." 

"What about the criminals who've yet to be punished? Those that were meant to fight in the pit before my brother came down? Some will claim it's unfair if they're not punished as the others." 

"Yes, some will," Indra agrees. "Those will be those who challenge you, ones you will have to silence." 

"My own brother challenges me," Octavia murmurs, eyeing Indra seriously. "Should I silence him?" 

Bellamy goes still as Indra turns a critical eye to him, then she frowns. "If he were a part of Wonkru, I would demand it. As he is an ally, it's not necessary. Allies are  _ meant  _ to challenge each other to reach a higher goal of peace and agreement." 

"What happens when those in Wonkru wish to defect and join elsewhere? Or, worse, split off in a separate group?" Octavia declares, arching an eyebrow. 

_ "Blodreina,  _ if people are not truly loyal, you should not want them in Wonkru to begin with. If someone wishes to leave, you give them the option of being an ally, or the option to be an enemy. If they don't choose the first, you kill them." Indra cocks her head and raises her eyebrows. "Allies are never a bad thing, Octavia. In a time of need, they will be the ones who aid you and your people." 

Bellamy hasn't had to think of politics in over six years, so this conversation has him on edge. He knows how much of a fine line all of this is, and he's more than grateful that Indra is as wise as she is. He watches his sister pace back and forth in thought, no doubt weighing her options, fighting her own bloodthirsty need for war to think rationally. 

He knows how much thought she has to give this. She is the leader of over eight hundred people, and she has to keep them all together. If it all falls apart, the unity will break and war will approach anyway. It's a difficult situation, and he knows from experience how easy it is to get caught up in your own distrust of people who aren't your own. 

Octavia finally pauses, shooting a quick look to Bellamy before looking at Indra and asking,  _ "Na laik natblida yongon gon sich?"  _

Bellamy registers the words, but it takes him a moment to process them.  _ Will the natblida child be a problem?  _ As soon as he takes note of the words, he goes tense all over, sucking in a sharp breath. Octavia's gaze snaps over to him, her face twisting into a hard mask, a scowl. 

"That  _ natblida yongon  _ is  _ my  _ child," Bellamy hisses, glaring at her. "She is  _ not  _ a threat. She has no desire to be  _ Heda,  _ and she adores you, Octavia. She would follow you around all day just to be close to you. Her whole damn  _ life,  _ she has basically worshipped you for all the stories we've told her, and she's spent the last six years waiting to meet you! Clarke and I will  _ not  _ allow anyone to use her for any reason. She is a child, not a fucking symbol of tradition." 

Indra clears her throat. "Octavia, no one has to know she has nightblood, and if anyone finds out, we can say she obtained it the same way Bellamy did. As far as the people know, the  _ fleim _ was destroyed, and we will keep it that way. And that child is your family now, so anyone who has anything you deem as threatening to say about or against her...well, it would make sense for you to punish them for it."

"Fine." Octavia holds up her hands and makes a face at Bellamy, though her eyes do soften. "I was just being thorough. I have to ask these questions and foresee any issues." 

"Leave Madi out of it," Bellamy says tightly. 

Octavia nods. "I intend to." 

"If you're going to introduce change, you'll need to do it as soon as possible. You'll also need to see to the people who challenge you, if there are any, that way we can leave their bodies behind." Indra looks between them seriously. "We should not spill blood in the Valley, not for a long time." 

Octavia straightens up, her face dropping into a blank expression as she lightly grabs the hilt of her sheathed sword. "Then let's get to it." 

* * *

It's been many years since Bellamy has heard the squelch of a blade impaling a body, and it brings back memories he'd rather not think about it. 

Clarke leans into his side, Madi standing in front of them. They're trying to keep her from watching, but she's determined. She keeps turning her face to peek through their fingers, seemingly shaken by the sight of her idol slaughtering people ruthlessly. It's a horrifying sight, of course, but Octavia fights like moving art, never faltering. 

"I got to admit," Diyoza mutters, stepping up beside Bellamy with her eyebrows raised, "I actually kind of like this girl's style." 

"Is it absolutely necessary?" Shaw mutters, standing beside Diyoza with a frown. 

Bellamy sighs. "Unfortunately, yes." 

Diyoza hums. "You heard her announcement, Shaw. She's flipping the script, changing the game, and anyone who fights it is the enemy. In case you forgot, that change she's insisting on is her people being our allies. Be grateful that she's killing her people who aren't loyal instead of using them to kill all of us." 

"She's doing it here so she won't have to do it in the Valley," Clarke murmurs, her throat bobbing. "She's allowing herself and her people to hope for peace." 

"She's also making an example out of the people challenging her," Diyoza appraises. "It's no different than me shooting people who don't listen." 

Shaw grunts. "It's bloodier." 

"Anyone else?!" Octavia shouts from the open area in front of them, her chest heaving. She's dripping with blood that isn't her own, her blade at the ready as she turns in a circle to address Wonkru with wild eyes. "You are Wonkru, an ally of Wonkru, or you are the _ enemy!  _ Choose!" 

No one approaches her. Only three bodies lay at her feet, large men who fought valiantly and still lost. Not many people made a move to waver in their loyalty to begin with, which says a lot about what kind of leader Octavia is. She may have her faults, but her people clearly have unwavering faith in her. 

Octavia eventually relaxes, wiping her bloodied sword and sheathing it again, her breathing calming. She turns in another slow circle before she points over at them with a serious gaze. "Those people have declared themselves our allies! They have worked together to free us from the bunker. Wonkru did not only exist in the dark beneath the ground; it now exists in the light. We have risen from the ashes and we will have the peace we've earned! We  _ will  _ thrive, and we  _ will  _ know a better life!" 

The crowd of Wonkru burst out into uproarious shouts, raising their weapons and calling out for their Red Queen. Bellamy feels goosebumps break out on his skin, awed against his better judgement of his sister in such a powerful and moving position. As much as it terrifies him, he cannot help but be proud of her. She's been through so much, and it feels like she's starting to overcome it. 

"Tonight," Octavia calls out, her voice going quieter when everyone immediately falls silent, "we share our meals with our allies. We treat them as Wonkru until they prove themselves our enemies. We sit with them, we get to know them, we learn to share with them. They have aided us, and now we will aid them." Her voice grows even softer, a near whisper as she bows her head.  _ "Omon gon oson."  _

The entire crowd of Wonkru dip their heads and softly reply,  _ "Omon gon oson." _

"Tomorrow, we go with them to our new home," Octavia declares. "We live in unity as we did in the bunker, stronger together than apart! Now, start passing out food, share, teach and learn!" 

Everyone immediately starts breaking off to do as they're told, and a lot of the Eligius crew seem borderline stunned or uncomfortable as the same people who seemed so wary of them before come ambling over to offer them rations. Bellamy shakes his head with a small, amazed huff of laughter as Octavia slowly approaches him, still covered in blood. Miller and Indra are right behind her. 

_ "Omon gon oson,"  _ Diyoza says when Octavia comes to a halt in front of them. "What does that mean?" 

Octavia frowns, but she says, "All of me for all of us. Give me one moment to get moderately clean, then I will return with more rations. Miller, start sharing with them." 

"It's not necessary," Diyoza starts. 

"It is for my people," Octavia tells her seriously, raising her eyebrows. "It is a gesture of good faith. Do not refuse it." 

Diyoza blinks, but she nods. "Okay then." 

"Hey, Miller," Monty says brightly, dragging himself and Harper forward as Miller starts breaking rations into pieces. 

Miller, for the first time since that bunker was opened, actually quirks a lazy smile. "Monty, it's nice to see you, man. And Harper. All of you, really. You all look good, healthy." 

"You look, uh, radical and borderline insane," Harper teases, "but we're digging it." 

"Six years is a long time," Miller says dryly. He holds out two pieces of rations to them, his expression turning serious.  _ "Omon gon oson."  _

Monty pauses, but he takes the rations and clears his throat.  _ "Omon gon oson."  _

And, strangely, Miller's shoulders actually loosen like hearing Monty say that eases his nerves somehow. Harper does the same, and they all eat at the same time, smiling crookedly at each other. Bellamy watches in something akin to fascination. No, he doesn't really get it, though he has an idea of why that phrase means so much,  _ but  _ he can respect it. Just like  _ may we meet again  _ and  _ my fight is over  _ in Trig, these words hold weight and actively affect the people who understand why they're spoken. 

A few moments later, Octavia comes back over with Indra still with her, though she's seemed to gain two others—Gaia and Cooper. Octavia is cleaner than before, as clean as she can get after a bloody fight like that, and she still seems tense. It's clear that she's trying, though, because she stops directly in front of Diyoza first, breaking off a piece of ration. 

_ "Omon gon oson,"  _ she says, holding out the piece with her gaze pinned heavily on Diyoza. 

Diyoza takes it, looking around at the masses of people who are blatantly watching. "Right.  _ Omon gon oson.  _ Thank you." 

Octavia breaks her piece in half again, and she takes a bite in unison with Diyoza. Then, she turns away and moves over to kneel in front of Madi. For a long moment they just stare at each other. Bellamy squeezes Madi's shoulder, wondering what she's thinking about as she looks at the one who's always been her favorite legend. She's leaning back against him and Clarke, but she hesitantly shuffles forward, taking a deep breath. 

_ "Omon gon oson,"  _ Octavia says softly, holding out the piece of ration to Madi, her eyes strangely gentle. 

Madi licks her lips and takes the piece, still staring at Octavia.  _ "Omon gon oson."  _

Together, they eat. 

"I like your braids," Octavia tells her quietly once they've both swallowed. 

"Thank you, Aunty O," Madi replies instantly. A moment later, she flinches. "Can I—is it okay if I call you that? I always thought of you that way in my head, but I can stop if—if…" 

She trails off when Octavia smiles at her, the first kind smile she's given in possibly years. "I don't see why you should stop. You're my family, right? I'm your aunt, aren't I?" 

"I didn't know if you'd be okay with it," Madi admits cautiously. 

"Well," Octavia says simply, "I am." 

With that, she stands up and nods at Madi before turning to Indra, Gaia, and Cooper with her eyebrows raised. Almost instantly, they move forward to share their rations with Clarke, Bellamy, and Shaw. They all say the words—Shaw does so awkwardly, but he does—and the people around them continue to do the same. 

It is, without a doubt, one of the strangest things that Bellamy has ever witnessed. Watching these cultures and wildly different people clash in a way that doesn't result in death is like witnessing an oxymoron in action. Somehow, Clarke and his people fall somewhere in the middle, and he realizes they're the bridge that will tie everything together. They'll keep all of this from crumbling, somehow, and that's more responsibility than he's had in years. 

If it's the price of peace, he'll pay that, too. For Madi and Clarke, the people who mean the most to him. For Octavia, his little sister who he would give his life for in a heartbeat. For Diyoza, a woman who wants to bring a life into a safer world. For Wonkru, a unified and devoted group who deserve freedom and hope after years without it. Even for the Eligius crew, the people who he knows nothing about, people who deserve a chance at life just like everyone does. He'll do it for himself, because he wants to be himself, and he wants to do better. 

That night, he sleeps curled up behind Clarke who curls up behind Madi, and he dreams of a simpler life. The next morning, everyone boards the ship, and they fly off in search of it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, so, that's a lot. I know, it's heavy as hell, but it's necessary to plot, I promise. My reasoning for Octavia eventually coming around is because what happened in the show (as far as a war breaking out) didn't happen here. Plus, like, the very few people who could appeal to Octavia as Blodreina was always Bellamy and Indra (until things got so bad that even they couldn't, but still).
> 
> Also, I would like to reassure any Octavia fans out there (and I am one of them, actually), she WILL be getting a redemption arc, but I'm going to do it right. So, stay tuned for more on her, because she's a big part of this story. 
> 
> For those of you who are waiting for more reunions, we will get some more soon. Also, yes, Abby and Kane do play a role in this story as well. 
> 
> If anyone has questions on my thought processes or theories for the fic, go ahead and leave me a comment because I really do enjoy them. If you enjoyed reading, don't hesitate to drop off some kudos and leave a comment in general; I adore every single one and every single kind. Thank you ❤
> 
> Ta! 
> 
> -SOBS


	5. The Chance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, lovelies! I hope everyone is having a good Friday! Let me just go ahead and get into the warnings: 
> 
> General Blodreina Being Mean, References and Blatant Discussions on Cannibalism, References and Discussions on Addiction, Discussion of Trauma. Also, like, Madi has one lil sip of Alcohol in this chapter, but it basically ensures she'll never drink again lmao, so.... Uh, what else? Nothing I can think of right off the top of my head, but as always, remember that this is not nearly as bad as the show, and also if you've read up until now, you'll be fine to read on. 
> 
> And side note, I don't know if anyone has noticed the Pattern yet, but the chaps go like this: Bellamy POV, then Other Characters POV, then Clarke POV; that, on a loop. So, good news, we get some Octavia POV this time, folks ;) 
> 
> Lastly, there is something I want to expand on in the End Notes, so stop by there to see that. Thanks a lot ❤ With that... 
> 
> Enjoy ;)

Madi doesn't cry when she helps everyone start packing up her home, but a part of her wants to. 

She'd watched Octavia stand around in awe, the same type of awe she and her people expressed when they first stepped into the Valley. She'd taken in all the drawings of her own face, shooting Madi furtive looks when Clarke had mentioned that most of the drawings were done by Madi, actually. 

She'd watched Miller stroke a drawing done by Clarke of his own younger, smiling face. He'd looked really sad for some reason, only to slap on a smile when Monty reached out to squeeze his shoulder. 

Even Indra and Gaia appraised the little Village house in surprise, even with the fewer drawings they had. Mostly, though, just like everyone else, they stared around with something like yearning and hope burning in their gazes as they looked around at the home that Madi, Bellamy, and Clarke had made for themselves over the last six years. 

So, when they all work together to start packing it up, Madi can't help but feel maudlin. She grew up here, and she doesn't want to move away, but she understands why they have to. It's necessary to keep the peace, and after all the close calls they've had so far, it's better not to test fate by complaining. 

Madi is trying to get used to having so many people she knows by story and name around her. None of them are like what she was raised on, but it has been six years—everyone changes in that time. She also gets that those in the bunker had a really tough time. It doesn't make it any easier to look at Octavia and see her be so...cold. The stories she grew up on always painted Octavia as warm, bright, and determined, shining in her readiness to fight for what she knew to be right. Madi guesses it's still that way, but now...it's been twisted in the dark. 

Once the place is mostly bare and Madi barely recognizes her home, she slips into the background. Everyone is talking to each other, making plans for what's next. Clarke and Bellamy are telling Indra, Gaia, and Octavia all the different Villages around the Valley, or what places they would have a good chance at turning into Villages; Emori and Harper are quietly whispering to each other while they help Miller neatly put away all the books Bellamy wrote; Echo and Monty are hanging back out of the way—probably because Octavia still glares at Echo if she happens to notice her—and they're packing up all of Clarke's medical cabinet. 

Madi doesn't want to be in here anymore. She just wants everything to pause, to stop for a day or two. While she's aware that things are on the way to being calm, she feels like her mind is in an uproar. She still feels terrible for shooting Dick and for the death of the others, even if Diyoza forgave it. She can still remember the sight of Octavia killing people who spoke out against her, and that hadn't quite felt right either, even if all the adults had seemed to understand it completely. 

She just wants to get away. 

So, she slips out of the house silently. She feels bad for leaving without telling anyone, knowing that Clarke and Bellamy are distracted right now, but she just means to step out on the front porch and get some air. That's her intention, anyway. 

Instead, when she sees Diyoza through the open window in the house right beside them, Madi finds herself making the quick dash across the small space. A few of Wonkru and the Eligius people shoot her glances as she darts past them, but she pays them no mind, stopping in front of Diyoza's door and quickly knocking. 

A moment later, the door opens, and Shaw blinks down at her. "Oh, it's you." 

"Can I come in?" Madi asks carefully. 

"Uh," Shaw mumbles, shooting a look over his shoulder, "Diyoza, the Blake kid is here." 

"My name is Madi." 

"Sorry, Madi is here." 

From behind him, Diyoza says, "Let her in." 

Shaw steps back, so Madi walks inside, looking around. It looks exactly the same as it did the day before yesterday, except there are two other people inside. She knows them by the drawings she's seen, but she hasn't gotten to officially meet them yet. They've been keeping out of sight because Octavia isn't happy with either of them, and from what Madi has gathered, neither of them want to be a part of Wonkru anymore. They're staying behind in the Village to start trying to find a way to heal the sick Eligius people, which doesn't make sense to Madi. 

Abby is Clarke's mother. She should come with her. Kane should just take his punishment now that it's not death, and that should be that. Abby could come live around Clarke, which would make her happier, and she could make the same trip that Jackson plans to so he can come to the Village and help heal the sick. She stares at them with a frown, and they both look at her with strange expressions. 

"What," Diyoza says flatly, "don't let the kid stop you now. You were pleading your case before." 

"You don't know Octavia like we do," Kane whispers insistently, ripping his gaze away from Madi. "I'm trying to warn you, to  _ help  _ you." 

Madi looks at Abby. Her whole body is trembling, and she looks really sweaty. She's swaying in place, her hands fiddling mindlessly. She looks sick, really sick, and Madi wonders if Clarke knows that. 

"Madi," Diyoza says softly, "can I get your opinion on something?" 

"Mine?" Madi blinks, standing up a little straighter. No one outside of Clarke and Bellamy have ever given her a voice before. "Um, sure." 

"How do you think Clarke would feel if she found out that her mother was addicted to drugs?" Diyoza asks bluntly. "Would she be upset if I gave her more of those drugs, even if it was to ensure that she could help heal my people? Do you think that could lead to a possible war in the long run?" 

"Stop," Abby hisses. "She is a  _ child."  _

Madi stares at Abby with a sinking stomach. "Does Clarke know?" 

"Madi," Abby says gently, though the softness of her tone is obstructed by her shaky words, "you don't understand what's—" 

"Does Clarke know?" Madi repeats, this time firmer. When Abby snaps her mouth shut, Madi turns her gaze to Diyoza. "Does she?" 

"I doubt Abby told her, and I only just found out myself, so my guess is no," Diyoza says. 

Madi takes a deep breath. "You have to tell Clarke, and you have to let her help you. We promised these people that we would heal them, and we can't do that if you're sick." 

"She's a child, and yet...she gets it," Diyoza murmurs calmly, raising a pointed eyebrow. "There are other doctors here, Abby. I won't provide the drugs, and Clarke will know about this. You'll get clean, then you'll help the other doctors help us." 

Abby's jaw ticks out to the side, but she says nothing. 

"Thank you," Kane breathes out, his eyes fluttering for a moment before he looks at Abby. "You know it's for the best, Abby. It's time." 

Diyoza scoffs. "You're not off the hook either, Kane. Another question, Madi. Do you think that Octavia will betray the allies she fought to have? How do you think she'll react to someone suggesting I start a war that we've all been trying to avoid?" 

Madi's eyes go wide as she looks over at Kane, who looks pained. "Are you… You  _ can't  _ be serious! Do you have any idea how hard Bellamy and Clarke have worked to make this peace happen? Do you even know what we've done? Octavia is  _ trying,  _ and you're telling them to start a war? Do you know how many people could die?!" 

"You don't know what Octavia has done," Kane rasps, true fear in his eyes. 

"I know what  _ you've  _ done!" Madi shouts, feeling hot as anger skitters down her spine. Kane actually blinks in surprise, and Madi scowls at him. "Bellamy and Clarke said you were a good man, Kane, but they also told me the mistakes it took for you to get there. Helping send one hundred  _ defenseless  _ teenagers, some  _ my  _ age, to the ground when you had no idea if it would even kill them. Voting to kill hundreds of people so everyone else could breathe, only for that to end up being pointless! You had Abby hurt to make an example out of her. We've all done things, Kane, and we all deserve the chance to do better! Bellamy and Clarke said you'd understand that better than  _ anyone,  _ so why don't you?!" 

"Again," Diyoza muses, "the kid gets it." 

Madi glares at Kane. "I should tell Octavia. You're trying to start a war, trying to have people killed, and that's punishable by death, you know." 

"I'm not in Wonkru," Kane tells her softly. 

"And you're not an ally, clearly," Diyoza retorts sharply, arching an eyebrow. 

"Which means you're an enemy," Madi whispers. She stares at him, her eyes itching with tears. "Why are you doing this? What would have happened if Diyoza wasn't nice and smart? What if she had listened and hundreds of people died? All the good things you've done, and you'd...do this.  _ Why?"  _

"Hey," Abby says softly, stepping forward and kneeling down in front of Madi. She gives a shaky smile and reaches out to cup Madi's cheek, her skinny fingers cold and trembling against her skin. "No matter what, Madi, we wouldn't let anything happen to Clarke, okay?" 

Madi wrenches backwards, nearly stumbling right into Diyoza, who catches her and steadies her. "It's not just about Clarke! It's about Bellamy, too! It's about Aunty O, and Colonel Diyoza, and  _ everyone!  _ Nothing should happen to  _ anyone,  _ don't you get that? We all just want to survive!" 

Kane takes a deep breath, his eyes flicking up to the roof of the house. Slowly, he hangs his head and takes a moment to breathe. After, he looks at Madi sadly. "There's a difference in survival and peace, Madi. With Octavia in charge, I'm afraid that we may never reach that point. She isn't a leader, she is a  _ tyrant.  _ You don't understand." 

"I understand that Octavia is hoping to avoid a war, and you're trying to start one," Diyoza says sharply. She narrows her eyes. "As it's been decided, we are allies with Wonkru, and that's not going to change because someone did bad things in the past. If that was the case, I'm just as bad—if the kid is to be believed, so are you. You can either stay silent about your feelings, or you can make the decision to voice them again, but be aware that if you do, I  _ will  _ inform Octavia and let her handle it." 

There's a long beat of silence. 

"Fine," Kane says eventually. He opens his mouth, then closes it. "I will be here with Abby while she gets better, and then while she's healing your people. Beyond that, we hope we can stay." 

"I don't think you should," Madi says tightly, her throat bobbing. "I think you should come back with Wonkru and take your punishment. You stole something, right? That means you'll have something stolen from you. It's fair. Let that happen, then come back and see how wrong you are." 

"The punishment is happening regardless," Kane murmurs. "They'll take it soon." 

"Good," Madi whispers. 

Diyoza sighs. "I will decide when it's time. For now, you two need to go to Clarke and explain about Abby's condition. I'll know if you don't. Let them know Madi is over here while you're at it." 

Abby and Kane linger for a moment, then they both nod and march from the house. They rudely slam the door as they go, and Madi swallows thickly. She almost wants to go home to be there for Clarke when they tell the news, but a bigger part of her is scared to go. She doesn't want to see Clarke upset, and she doesn't know how Clarke would feel if she found out that Madi doesn't really like Kane and Abby all that much. 

Though, in fairness, Madi doesn't really like...anyone she grew up loving. Everyone keeps disappointing her. She's still upset at Echo, Emori, Monty, and Harper for locking her in the Rover, even if she's stuck close to them, but that's only because Clarke and Bellamy tell her to. She doesn't really talk to them, and she's made it very clear that she's still angry with them. 

Octavia scares her. She feels guilty for being afraid of her, and she's even scared to admit it. She's also worried that Bellamy will be upset if he finds out. Madi can't help it, though. Octavia doesn't seem like the hero she grew up hearing about, and she's really been terrifying this entire time. She still wants to be Octavia's family, though. She wants her fear to go away, and she hopes it will. 

"You alright, kid?" Shaw asks her awkwardly. 

Madi huffs and shuffles away from Diyoza, crossing her arms and trying to seem taller. "Stop calling me kid. My name is  _ Madi."  _

"Yeah, the kid's name is Madi, Shaw," Diyoza agrees lightly, smirking as she moves around her counter to unscrew the lid on a bottle of amber liquid. 

Shaw snorts. "Hear you loud and clear, Madi." 

"Can I have some of that?" Madi asks, ignoring him entirely as she eyes the drink that Diyoza takes a sip of. "Is it...hooch?" 

"It's alcohol, yes." Diyoza looks faintly amused, then she makes a considering expression before holding out the bottle. "One sip. Just don't tell your mom or dad, or else we'll really go to war." 

Madi feels a strange sense of rebellion squirm in her belly. For the first time in days, a spark of  _ fun  _ lights up in her, and she smiles slightly as she edges forward. Clarke and Bellamy don't let her have any hooch, but Madi makes sure not to mention that as she takes the bottle and sniffs at the rim. 

The smell of it makes her eyes water, and she coughs a little as she rears back. Now Diyoza definitely looks amused. Shaw coughs into his fist, but it doesn't disguise his laugh in the least. Madi shoots them both glares and forces herself to bring the bottle to her lips and take a deep swallow. The moment it hits her chest, it burns, and she shoves the bottle at Diyoza as she begins coughing in earnest. For one torturous moment, her entire body is hot and her eyes are watering and it's  _ so gross,  _ but then it calms and warms, and she stops coughing to hear Diyoza and Shaw blatantly laughing at her. 

"It's, um, great," Madi says weakly, rubbing her chest and inwardly vowing to never drink again. 

"It's something," Diyoza says. 

Madi frowns at her. "Should you be drinking that with the baby?" 

"A swallow every once in a while won't hurt," Diyoza says easily, screwing the lid back on. "Don't worry, the baby is fine." 

"Clarke said it was a girl." Madi chews her lip for a moment, then shuffles awkwardly in place. "Can I ask what you're gonna name her? I mean, you don't have to tell me, but...I don't know. I guess I was just wondering." 

Shaw hums. "Yeah, share with the class." 

"I had a few ideas," Diyoza admits. She arches an eyebrow down at her stomach, her lips curling up just so. "Still haven't decided yet." 

Madi swallows and clears her throat. "Well, I was just thinking...what about Hope? You know, because she'll be born in a world full of hope, one you helped create. Maybe…" 

Diyoza looks up, staring at Madi for a long moment, her face softening. "Hope," she murmurs. "Yeah, I like that, Madi. I like that a lot." 

"It's nice," Shaw says softly. 

"Did I just name a baby?" Madi whispers, her eyes going wide, something warm blooming in her chest.

"Yes," Diyoza says with a smirk, "you sure did." 

Madi pulls on one of her braids, unable to stop the grin from spreading across her lips. "I'll come visit her all the time, I promise." 

"I'm sure she'll like that," Diyoza tells her. She tilts her head. "Madi, I want you to understand something about Kane and Abby." 

Madi's stomach drops. She doesn't want to be reminded of them right now, not when she's feeling happy for the first time in days. "Diyoza, I—" 

"Listen to me," Diyoza cuts her off. "This feeling you're feeling right now, that happiness, that  _ hope  _ for a better future… Kane and Abby can't feel that right now because they're scared, because they've been through things that have kept them from feeling it for years. A lot of the people who've shown up are struggling with that. You have to be patient with them. They'll find hope again someday." 

"Why can't they just believe it when we try to make them see it?" Madi rasps, frowning at her. It's unfair that so many people can't just  _ see it,  _ see what joy is right around the corner. 

Diyoza looks out the window, her eyes distant as she absentmindedly strokes her stomach. Softly, she murmurs, "Because, people can't see it until they experience it for themselves." 

* * *

Octavia stares down at the drawing of Lincoln, her thumb stroking the corner of the page. Whoever drew this got the warmth in his gaze just right. Her stomach cramps with how much she misses him. 

"I drew that one," Clarke murmurs, calmly stepping up beside her with a small smile. "Madi demanded to know what he looked like when we told the story of how you two fell in love." 

Octavia takes another long look of the drawing before putting it face down in the stack that they're about to pack away. She looks over at Clarke, ignoring the pinch in her chest. "Did you tell Madi how that story ended?" 

"We didn't go into explicit details," Clarke says softly, "but yes. We told Madi as much as we could. You were always her favorite story." 

"She fears me," Octavia tells Clarke quietly. 

Clarke nods. "I know. She expected you to be who you used to be, but she also knows six years is a lot of time for people to change." 

"Have you?" Octavia tilts her head, watching Clarke carefully. "Changed, I mean." 

"Not as much as I hoped," Clarke admits with a rueful laugh. "Let's just say I've changed  _ just enough  _ and leave it at that." 

"Then let's say that I'm  _ just enough  _ of who I used to be, and let's hope that's enough," Octavia replies cautiously. It's a foreign concept to try and let any kind of emotion in, but it's not entirely new. Lincoln's face flashes in her mind again. 

"I think there are certain  _ core  _ things about a person that doesn't leave them, no matter what they go through." Clarke shuffles a little closer, her face softening in a way that Octavia hasn't seen in six years. Long ago, it would have thawed Octavia out just a bit, but it doesn't now. "Octavia, when I look at you, I don't see the blood on your blade. I still see the girl who gave a chance to someone no one else would. I still see the woman who always got back up when she was knocked down. These are the things I taught Madi because they're  _ true,  _ and she's too young to see past everything else to notice that all of those things still exist in you." 

Octavia stares at Clarke for a beat, then she slowly shakes her head. "For once, Clarke, you have no authority to make judgements about people. You're not in charge here, and you don't get to decide who can be forgiven and who can't. You don't know what me and my people have done, what we've been through, what we've lost. You don't because you lived the last six years in peace, playing house with my brother and a Grounder child." 

"Maybe it's not my place, maybe I will never fully understand," Clarke says, her eyes lighting up with that familiar spark of determination, "but I know that if you need forgiveness, you'll never really get it until you learn to forgive yourself." 

"Is that right?" Octavia tilts her chin up, holding Clarke's gaze. "Tell me, have you forgiven yourself,  _ Wanheda?  _ For letting a bomb take out a Village? For slaughtering innocents? For being a part of the reason Jasper killed himself? For nearly betraying Bellamy for, what, the fiftieth time? For almost leaving me to  _ Praimfaya?"  _ When Clarke's expression fractures just slightly, Octavia feels a sense of vindication—it's sour, but it eases some of the rage in her. "Don't worry, Clarke, I'm not judging you. After all, I'm no better." 

Octavia starts to leave, but Clarke reaches out to snag her hand. She starts for her blade immediately, but Clarke just moves close to stare into her eyes with an intensity that Octavia forgot she was capable of. For a brief moment, it roots her to the spot, making her go still. 

"Forgiveness is  _ not  _ the same as forgetting," Clarke whispers. "I'll never forget, no matter how much I wish I could sometimes. But granting myself the forgiveness for what I've done and had to do allows me the freedom to do better next time. I only recently realized that, and I had to learn it the hard way, but you'll never be able to be the person you wished you were if you hadn't done whatever it is that you have, not if you don't offer forgiveness to the person you became because of those things. You can't be better if you hold onto the reasons you've had to be worse, Octavia. Forgive yourself, because we've already done that. Time to catch up with us." 

Octavia wrenches her hand out of Clarke's grip, preparing to unsheath her blade, but Clarke just turns around and walks away. 

Slowly, Octavia drops the handle of her blade and looks back at the flipped over drawing. Hesitantly, she flips it back over and stares at the strokes that make up Lincoln's face. That's how he exists now, only alive on paper and in memories. It is, without a doubt, one of the most tragic things in the world. 

She wonders if he'd forgive her. 

He wouldn't, and she knows it. He wouldn't have the chance. Octavia knows Lincoln. Knew. She knew him, and she's very aware that he'd expected so much more out of her. Better, kinder things that she's just not built for anymore. 

Sometimes, Octavia will run her tongue over her gums and teeth, and she'll taste blood. 

Clarke has no right. She truly has no idea what it was like in that bunker. In a way, Octavia hates her for not being there. Had she been, it would have been Clarke who would have had to make those choices, who would have to be the first cannibal, who would have to look her mother dead in the face and realize that the only choice was an undeniably sinuous act. Octavia wonders if Clarke would have crumbled under the weight of such a thing. 

No, not Clarke. She would have done what had to be done, and she would have changed, too. So  _ no,  _ Clarke has no right to make assumptions or pass judgement. No one does. No one. 

Octavia wants to believe that things will be okay soon, but she's not so sure. Even if the world grows kinder and all the suffering comes to an end, where will that leave her? A leader so empty and numb. A leader who burns with a rage waiting to be unleashed on the world. A leader that people need to be unyielding and present. 

A leader who never wanted to lead. 

"O, can I talk to you for a minute?" 

Octavia glances away from the drawing, looking up at Bellamy. "What is it?" 

"I kind of want to show you something." Bellamy's lips curl up briefly, almost shy. He looks around before shuffling closer to her, holding out a book and looking hesitant about it. "Clarke did a lot of drawing to remember everyone by, but I had my own way to hold onto people. I was upset about all the books in the world being destroyed, so I started writing everything I could remember. I also wrote a book about—well, about all of us, I guess." 

"This is the book?" Octavia asks carefully, grabbing the book that he holds out. 

Bellamy shakes his head. "No, it's  _ your  _ book. We all got our own volumes. Yours is called The Girl Under The Floor. It's missing one part—the last part. I guess I figured you could decide the ending to your book." 

"Wouldn't the ending be my death?" 

"I like to end things on a hopeful note, but like I said, it's your book. You decide how it ends. And, to be fair, I wrote it the same way the people wrote about the gods. Like it's a myth and legend."

Octavia feels her eyebrows draw together a beat before she realizes that she's actually curious. It's not unlike Bellamy to do something like this. There's something incredibly intimate about reading his writing, though, and she's hesitant to open the book. She realizes that she's going to be reading her life through her brother's eyes, seeing herself the way he does. She's not sure she's ready for that, but her curiosity is as ruthless as her ferocity. She's powerless to it as well. 

Carefully, she flips to the first page. She starts to read, but a knock at the door draws her attention. Everyone looks up at once, and Octavia snaps the book closed, carefully sitting it down as Monty moves over to the door to peer out cautiously. She watches his shoulders visibly relax before he steps back to allow in Abby and Kane. 

It's like a splash of cold water, waking her up rudely. Octavia feels an icy rage crackle through her veins as her eyes narrow into slits. Her hand aches for the weight of her blade, and everything within her demands that Kane pay for his defiance with his life. Still, she steadies her hand and forces herself to be a little calmer, to do this the right way. 

He will be punished, but not by death. There was a time when she didn't want anyone to die; the problem is, she can't remember when that was. 

"Mom," Clarke exhales in relief, moving forward to hug her mother with a small smile. 

"Clarke," Abby says shakily, her limbs jerky as she briefly hugs Clarke before pulling back. 

Clarke frowns. "Are you okay?" 

"I have something I need to tell you," Abby murmurs, twitching in place. She looks like she's trying to steel herself and be strong, but she's just trembling too hard to manage it. 

"Mom, you look terrible," Clarke says, taking her by the arm and dragging her over to the bed. She puts her palm to Abby's forehead. "A cold sweat." 

"Oxymoron," Bellamy mumbles distractedly. 

Clarke shoots him an arch look. "Yes, thank you. Now, be helpful and get me a rag." 

"Stop," Abby cuts in, shaking her head. "This is just the beginning. Ignore me for a minute, okay? You'll understand soon enough. First, Madi is with Colonel Diyoza at her house. Shaw is there, too." 

"Madi!" Bellamy snaps, whipping his head around like he can make her materialize in the air before him and yell at her for sneaking off. 

Kane clears his throat. "She's fine. More than." 

"We should go check on her," Clarke says with a sigh, sharing a look with Bellamy. 

"You need to hear this first," Abby croaks, visibly wincing when Clarke actually pauses to listen. 

When Abby doesn't speak for a long moment, Clarke sighs impatiently. "Well? What is it, Mom? If there's something you need to talk about, just talk."

"I…" Abby trails off, swallowing thickly. 

Kane steps forward. "Your mother is sick, Clarke."

"Sick?" Clarke snaps up straight. "What aren't you telling me? Mom, what is it?" 

"I won't be able to help the Eligius crew until I get better," Abby murmurs, averting her eyes. "If—if I can get better." 

"She's an addict," Octavia says, making multiple heads snap over towards her in shock, save for one. Abby's head ducks in shame. "She's been addicted to getting high off of pills for...oh, I don't know, about three years now. Right, Abby? Three years." 

The room goes dead silent. 

Clarke looks away from Octavia, turning the force of her gaze to Abby,  _ really  _ looking at her now. When she sees it for her own eyes, sees the shakes and the need for a fix and the blatant shame, she actually takes a solid step back from her mother. Her eyes go wide, a sheen of tears forming over them. 

"Mom?" Clarke whispers, horrified. 

"I'm sorry," Abby rasps, slowly looking up. Her face crumbles as tears streak down her cheeks. "It's true, and I wish it wasn't, but it is. I'm  _ so sorry."  _

Clarke swallows. "I—I don't understand.  _ Why?"  _

"Yes, Abby, do tell her why," Octavia murmurs softly, stepping forward to stand beside Clarke. "Tell her what pushed you to this." 

Abby looks over at her, her glare weak underneath her tears. "That's not what this is  _ about."  _

"Make your daughter understand," Octavia presses, staring back coldly. "Don't you think she deserves to know what broke you down like this?" 

"Just because it broke me doesn't make me weak," Abby hisses, launching to her feet to lean into Octavia's space. "It built you up, and that makes you  _ sick.  _ Why don't you tell Bellamy what led you to be the way you are?" 

Octavia doesn't flinch. "I already have." 

"What is going on?" Clarke reaches out and gingerly pushes Abby back a few steps. "Mom, leave Octavia out of this. Explain to me what I don't know." 

"It's not important," Abby murmurs, slowly sitting back down on the bed. "What matters now is that I'm going to get better and—" 

"Either you tell her," Octavia interrupts, "or I do."

Abby snaps her mouth shut. She says nothing. 

"O," Bellamy murmurs. 

Octavia ignores him. "Have it your way, then. If you won't tell Clarke what led you to drugs, I will." She turns to face Clarke with a blank expression. "In the third year at the bunker, we didn't have a sufficient supply of protein. Abby came to the conclusion that we were all going to starve within that year if we didn't find a source." 

"Stop it," Abby whispers. 

"Abby also came to the conclusion on what that source was," Octavia continues strongly. "She came to me and told me that we would all have to resort to cannibalism to survive. The people who broke the rules and died in the pit were to become dinner." 

"Oh my god," Harper hisses, her hand raising to cover her mouth as she stares in horror. 

Octavia holds Clarke's gaze. "With no other choice, we did what we had to do to survive. Except there were too many people refusing to do it, Kane included. Many people were following in his footsteps, and Abby came to a new conclusion. She said that I had to make it against the law to refuse to be a cannibal. In Wonkru, the price for breaking the law is declaring yourself an enemy and fighting for your life, or die trying. Abby told me that I had to get through to Kane and the others would follow." 

"Marcus," Abby chokes out, turning to look at him with tears swimming in her eyes. 

Octavia presses on. "So, I did what Abby said because I didn't have a choice. When people didn't want to eat, I begged them to. When they didn't, I told them that they were enemies if they didn't. And still, some of them chose not to." She pauses, dragging her gaze from Clarke to Abby, then back to Clarke. "So I killed them. I shot them one-by-one until Kane got up and ate. Somehow, three years later, I'm the one labelled a monster. Abby couldn't take the guilt, so she turned to pills." 

"At least I felt guilt!" Abby explodes, shoving to her feet again. "You fed off the horrible things that happened! You used it to become more powerful! You're labelled a monster because you  _ are  _ one!" 

"You don't think I felt guilty?" Octavia murmurs, stepping forward to hold her gaze. "I was  _ twenty  _ years old, Abby. You  _ knew  _ I didn't want to do it, but you told me I had to. You were  _ aware  _ that I would have to kill people, and you looked me in my eyes and told me it was my only choice. I never wanted to be a leader, I never wanted to ensure the survival of so many people, and it wasn't supposed to be my job!" The words explode out of her, rising into a hoarse shout, and she forces herself to shove it down, show no weakness. Her tone softens. "You're not just guilty for being a cannibal and having me force others to be, Abby. You're not just guilty about the  _ people _ we ate, nor the lives I took. You're guilty, because this monster I am? You helped create it." 

"Yes!" Abby's trembling arms fling out and her chest rises and falls at a rapid rate. "Yes, okay? I'm  _ guilty  _ for putting that on a child younger than my own daughter! Is that what you want to hear,  _ Blodreina?  _ That I wasn't strong enough and you were already in a leader role? That it twisted you and changed you, and that's  _ my fault?  _ It destroyed me, Octavia, and I couldn't cope." Her head bobbles in place as her chin trembles. "I know I'm to blame, just as guilty as you, but what broke me made you strong. That's the difference between me and you." 

"You think  _ this  _ is strong?" Bellamy hisses, stepping forward with blazing eyes. "Look at her, Abby. She doesn't even feel like she can be human!" 

Clarke reaches out to press her hand to Bellamy's chest, backing him up. "Stop it. All of you stop it,  _ now.  _ This—this is  _ wrong. _ Do you want to know where it all went wrong? Somewhere along the way, you stopped understanding each other. So you—you had to become cannibals to survive. It's horrible, and I'm sorry you all had to go through that. I  _ wish  _ with everything in me that you didn't, but you did. It's over. What's done is done. It's time to remind yourselves  _ why _ you did what you did to survive. Not just to find freedom and destroy yourselves over it. Mom, Octavia didn't become  _ powerful  _ from what she had to do. It's fucking trauma, the same things I've had to deal with for some of my choices, and you should know this. You're blaming who she's become because you think she should measure up to a certain level of guilt, but this is how she  _ coped,  _ and you have no right to judge." 

Bellamy turns to Octavia. "And you. If you didn't notice, Abby broke under the strain of this. She has a chance to get better and  _ do  _ better, just like you. She should have that, just like you, and you should hope for that after everything you two have suffered. You all went through something horrific together, and you allowed it to divide you instead of unifying you. You  _ have  _ to move past it if you ever want to exist outside of it. Both of you." 

"I have moved past it," Octavia says slowly. "As Clarke said, what's done is done. I never took out my anger on Abby, though I could have. I hope for her quick recovery, and that's as far as my kindness can stretch for her—that, and I allow her to keep her life. Her and Kane both." 

"I'm sorry," Abby whispers in a croak. "I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough." 

Octavia stares at her for a beat. "Is that what you think I want to hear? There is a reason I hate you, but I don't hate Indra. Arguably, she's at fault for the same reasons as you—she pushed me to become a leader because I was the only one who could. Under her advice, I had to do horrible, necessary things as well. The difference between you two? Indra didn't blame me for changing to make herself feel better." 

"Then what do you  _ want?"  _ Abby chokes out. 

"A  _ thank you,"  _ Octavia hisses. "Gratitude for getting everyone that I could through the last six years. I did horrible things, and you should be  _ thanking me  _ for doing them so you didn't have to." 

"It is extremely hard to thank you when we've watched you morph into what you are now," Kane murmurs, drawing her gaze. "There were certain avoidable things that you allowed to happen, that you  _ encouraged,  _ and that's no fault of ours." 

Octavia tilts her head. "We all adjust in new ways following traumatic events. After all, it took over two hundred needless deaths that you voted for and encouraged before you found your morals. You, even more so than Abby, aren't in any position to judge." 

"You were going to kill me because I refused to fight, Octavia," Kane snaps. 

"No," Octavia says sharply, "I was going to kill you for breaking the rules and declaring yourself an enemy. All you had to do was follow the  _ rules,  _ Kane. Why was that so hard for you?" 

"The punishment did not fit the crime!" 

"Do you think I am stupid, Kane? I know you didn't steal those pills.  _ Abby  _ did. You were punished for lying as well as the weight of her crimes that you so graciously claimed as your own. And you  _ knew  _ that, regardless of the crime, everyone faced the pit for committing them. That was just the way it was." 

"That way was  _ wrong,"  _ Kane hisses. "You know it was! And Abby couldn't fight." 

"Then she should not have committed crimes against her people for a quick fix!" Octavia bellows, glaring at him. "Yes, it was wrong, but it was all we had! It was what kept us alive.  _ Me.  _ I kept everyone that I could alive, and I had no other way to do it! You of all people should know what that feels like!"

"Don't," Kane says coldly. 

Octavia curls her lip at him. "You do  _ not  _ get to talk to me this way. You're a hypocrite! You helped get people floated for petty crimes back on the Ark. You floated my own mother for refusing to abort me! You  _ personally  _ floated people for stealing medicine, for stealing food, for breaking simple rules. Tell me, Kane, did the punishment fit the crime then?" 

"And you didn't learn from my mistakes," Kane declares harshly. "You are quick to blame me for my past when you were  _ aware  _ of it and still decided to make it your future!" 

"I didn't have a  _ choice,"  _ Octavia growls. 

"I hoped for better from you," Kane says softly, looking at her in disappointment. "You let the weight of everything break you down, and the dark creeped in and snuffed out the light. You kept us alive, yes, but it was not a life worth living." 

"Tread carefully, Kane," Octavia threatens darkly, her face slipping into a blank mask. "It sounds to me like you're dangerously close to declaring yourself my enemy. I will kill you for that." 

Kane shakes his head and sighs. "I'm not your enemy, Octavia. I just want to live a life that you have no part of. I won't thank you, and I won't forgive you, but I will hope that you grow from this, that you can leave all of this behind. I just won't be there to see it." 

"Oh, that's unfortunate," Octavia murmurs, a vindictive burn in the back of her throat, lacing her words with heat and hatred. "It's also wrong. See, Kane, you've yet to be punished, and I intend to do that now. Right now." 

"Of course you are," Kane mutters, shaking his head slowly. "What will you steal from me, then?" 

Octavia smirks. "That is not your only crime, as you just admitted to. You wanted to protect Abby and take responsibility for her thievery, so your wish is my command. Your punishment is that you will not stay here in this Village while Abby heals. You won't be here to provide her strength, and you won't see her until all of these people are healed, if they can be. You'll be coming with Wonkru, Kane." 

"What?" Kane barks. "You can't—" 

"If you don't comply, you're an enemy of Wonkru. Choose," Octavia says softly, gripping the hilt of her sword, holding his gaze. 

Kane's jaw works as he hesitates, then his lips part as he exhales shakily. "Fine, I accept." 

"Marcus," Abby sobs, slowly pushing to her feet and moving forward as if to hug him. 

"No," Octavia interrupts. She turns her gaze to Miller and Indra, jerking her chin. They immediately walk over and grasp Kane by his arms, holding him in place. "You don't get to say goodbye. Sometimes, people get stolen from you, and you have to learn how to go on without them. Consider yourself lucky that this isn't an indefinite separation." She turns her gaze to Indra, nodding slightly. "Take him to the heart of the camp and make sure he's watched carefully. He is not to lay eyes on Abby until everyone in Eligius is healed, if it's possible for them to be." 

Miller and Indra duck their heads before marching him out the door. He wisely doesn't look back when Abby starts sobbing harder, and Octavia feels a sick sense of satisfaction from that. 

No, she is not good. 

Maybe, one day, she will be better, but that day is not today. Though, she supposes she's already gotten better. Who she was merely a week ago would have slit both of their throats in a heartbeat. Baby steps, so to speak. She'll get there eventually. 

"Can I take her to the Infirmary?" Clarke asks carefully, holding Abby close. 

Octavia nods. "Cooper will escort you, and Gaia will go search out Jackson. Abby will heal with time, and if we have anything to help her, we will provide it. Clarke, I'm not being needlessly cruel. I hope that you can understand that." 

Clarke swallows. "Whether it is needless or not, the fact remains that it's still cruel. But I do understand it. I just wish I didn't have to." 

With that, Clarke leads her mother outside while Gaia follows. Along the way, Cooper will no doubt be told her orders and follow them. Octavia turns around and scans the remaining room. 

Everyone is staring at her. 

Bellamy looks conflicted and heartbroken all at once. She knows he must be fighting with the wrongness of this situation, the pure parts of him recognizing what she just did as horrible. It wars with the need to never give up on her, and Octavia is mildly worried about which will win. In the end, he just looks away, the column of his throat bobbing. 

Octavia turns to look at the others. Echo has a blank mask, expressing nothing, and Octavia quickly rips her gaze away when that familiar urge to kill her tightens its grip. Emori just looks severely uncomfortable, as does Monty, though he also looks at her sadly. Harper looks conflicted, too. She shifts between genuine fear as she stares and a rise of dislike that seems to be taking root. 

Octavia turns away, grabbing the book Bellamy gave her and walking right out the door. She doesn't leave the porch, sitting in one of the chairs and breathing calmly. She closes her eyes. 

The thing is, Octavia has this burning numbness in the center of her chest that never goes away. She has no idea when it took root, but it's deep. It fuels her belief that people either follow her, or they're her enemy. It ensures that she's always ready for a fight, gritting her teeth for the next one. It doesn't go away until she's fighting, and that's her only reprieve. For a long time, this feeling hasn't worried her; it's what kept her and her people alive. 

Now, she exists in a world where fighting won't help. Her only relief from this pain, this  _ hate,  _ is no longer easily accessible. She feels like she's seconds from burning down the world, and she doesn't have the faintest clue how to stop it. 

"Aunty O?" 

Octavia's head snaps up, her eyes opening as Madi hesitantly climbs the steps. "Madi. Did you see Clarke? She took Abby to the Infirmary." 

"She stopped by to tell me to go home," Madi says glumly. Slowly, she moves to the chair beside Octavia and sits down. "I got in trouble for sneaking away, and Bellamy is probably going to be mad, too."

"Yeah, I know a thing or two about that," Octavia murmurs. "Why did you sneak away?" 

Madi is silent for a long moment, and Octavia can hear her audibly gulp. Finally, she whispers, "I accidentally killed someone a few days ago." 

Octavia slowly looks over at her. "Why?" 

"I—I thought the Eligius people were hurting Clarke and Bellamy. I found the man in the woods, and I...I put his own gun to his head. I was asking him questions when Clarke called out my name, and I accidentally pulled the trigger. I didn't mean to, but he still died, and I just… I feel like shit all the time now. I didn't want to stay home and watch it all be packed away, so I went to see Diyoza." 

"Does she know you killed him?" 

"Yes," Madi murmurs. "We told her, and she forgave it. She's kind of weird, but she's nice. I, um, named her baby. I just suggested it, and she liked it." 

"What was the name?" Octavia asks.

Madi glances at her. "Hope. Her name is Hope."

Octavia swallows, something in her chest pinching and squirming. "That's a nice name. What made you suggest that?" 

"Because, by the time she's born, everyone should be feeling hope," Madi says softly. "I can't feel it now, and I don't think many people can, but I think we will learn to feel it again. Even you." 

"It's been a long time since I've felt something as nice as that, Madi." 

"I know. That's why you're so angry and sad. If you could just  _ know  _ that you'll feel it again, things wouldn't be so hard, but Diyoza says people can't see it coming until they experience it for themselves. You deserve to feel it." 

Octavia can't help but smile slightly. "Diyoza sounds like a smart woman. And you, Madi, are a pure soul. Maybe things will get better." 

"Not maybe," Madi argues. "They will. You have to believe that, Aunty O. You have to. Say it." 

"Madi—" 

_ "Say it."  _

"I…" Octavia pauses, almost strangled by the sudden lump in her throat. It throws her for a loop that the words are fighting against her. It should be so easy to say, so easy to  _ hope,  _ and yet… "Madi, it's not that simple. You're young, and—" 

"Don't make excuses," Madi whispers fervently, scooting closer to her. She reaches out to grip Octavia's hands, staring into her eyes. "I grew up  _ knowing  _ you are strong, and I—I still believe that." 

"You're scared of me." 

"I don't mean to be. I love you." 

"Madi," Octavia whispers, a spark of fury trying to light at the tears pricking at her eyes. The emotion in Madi's wide eyes snuff it out. "I'm sorry I scare you. I… I will  _ never  _ hurt you." 

"I'm not scared you'll hurt me, Aunty O," Madi tells her softly. "I'm scared you'll hurt yourself. But if you can give yourself the chance to hope, to  _ believe  _ that things will get better...maybe you won't. So, say it." 

Octavia stares at Madi, stares into her eyes. For her to be so young, she seems so wise, and Octavia thinks that's not it at all. There's something about a child's thought process that can outsmart an adult's. It happened before with the children on the Ark against the adults on the Ark, and Octavia has the feeling that it's happening right now. 

Madi sees the world in a different way, sees it in a way only a child can. She's clearly been through things, and someone has died at her hands, so she understands to an extent what this feels like. It's only a small  _ piece  _ of what Octavia suffers, as well as Clarke and Bellamy and so many others, but that small amount has the power to change anyone. Madi has decided to let that piece change her for the better, and she gets that chance. Octavia never did. 

Instead, Madi is offering something else. If even a tiny fraction of the trauma can affect Madi, then it stands to reason that a small piece of hope can affect even Octavia. Just like Madi has the power to decide to change and be better, so does Octavia, just on the opposite side of the spectrum. 

She just has to decide to. 

"Things…" Octavia's throat sticks again, and she's ashamed to feel tears fall from her eyes. It's a weakness because she is  _ broken,  _ because she has been for a long time. But Madi isn't staring at her like she's falling apart, she's staring at her like she's building herself up. Octavia is so,  _ so  _ tired of feeling like this. Gritting her teeth, she manages to choke out, "Things  _ will  _ get better. I—I hope they will." 

Maybe she's said this already, but never like  _ this.  _ Never for herself, only in the name of her people. She's never actually allowed herself to have faith in anything over the last six years, not outside of that small portion of her who has always believed in Bellamy. Allowing herself that now,  _ forcing  _ herself to...it hurts. It makes her angry, makes her want to lash out, makes her want to cry harder. 

But, for a split second, that empty fire in her heart is quenched and silenced, and she can breathe. Just for a second, but she can. 

"I hope so, too," Madi says with a small smile. She gets up without dropping Octavia's hands, then she leans forward to kiss Octavia's forehead. 

With that, Madi pulls away and walks inside. Octavia can faintly hear Bellamy scolding her, and she can't help the way her lips twitch as she swipes at her cheeks. Shakily, she reaches down to her lap and picks up the book Bellamy gave her. 

In that moment, she doesn't want to know how he started the story. She wants to know where he left off, where she'll have to pick it up. She opens it and flips to the last page he wrote on, skimming his words until she reaches the last paragraph. She closes her eyes after she reads it, tears pooling behind her eyelids yet again, and she smiles as it echoes in her mind, playing on a loop. 

_ Soon, the girl under the floor will break through her last cage and obtain freedom once more. Just as last time, she will brighten this new world with her presence. This time, however, she will know peace.  _

* * *

Diyoza sits on the edge of her bed, staring out the window to the starlight filtering from the breaks in the treetops. It's a nice sight, one she never fully expected to see again. She allows herself to imagine a little girl running through piles of orange and brown leaves, giggling as she does. 

Hope. 

Diyoza strokes her stomach, her lips curling up slightly. She feels like she's been pregnant for too long. Technically, due to cryo, she has. Still, a part of her aches to meet her daughter. Being pregnant is one of the few things that have kept her going, and though she hates McCreary, she can't help but be thankful that she's pregnant now. Even in this new, foreign world that she doesn't recognize. 

She can make it a home, though, and she will. 

For Hope. 

A knock at the door snags her attention, and Diyoza heaves a sigh. So many people are coming to visit her today. She hopes it isn't Madi again. She'll just have to send her home, respecting Clarke's wishes. Rolling her eyes and schooling her expression, she walks over to the door and opens it. 

It isn't Madi. 

"May I come in?" Octavia asks stiffly. 

Diyoza stares at her for a second, then nods and steps back. "Sure. You look like you could use a drink,  _ Blodreina."  _

"Octavia," Octavia corrects. She steps inside and closes the door. "I'm removing my weapon." 

"Are you?" Diyoza mutters, mildly curious. She moves over to grab her tequila again, watching Octavia slowly grab her sheathed sword and toss it to the side. "Why would you do that?" 

"A sign of good will." 

"Sure. Here's mine. Come get something to drink."

Octavia carefully walks over, grabbing the glass and waiting for Diyoza to take her shot first. Once she does, Octavia knocks back her own without even flinching. "Madi says you're naming your baby Hope. Is that true?" 

"Yes," Diyoza says. "Fitting, don't you think?" 

"I don't know what I think," Octavia says tersely. 

Diyoza pours her another shot, but decides not to take another one herself. "Why are you here, Octavia? Not that I mind, but is there a reason for a sudden visit?" 

"Bellamy says you're trustworthy." 

"Did he? That's sweet." 

"Madi says you're kind." 

"Kids say the craziest things." 

Octavia narrows her eyes. "Those are opinions of people I would like to trust without question." 

"But you have to see for yourself," Diyoza guesses, nodding. "That's fair. What do you want to know?" 

"Do you vouch for your people?" 

"Not at all. Some of them are horrible pieces of shit, honestly.  _ But  _ they do listen to me. If they don't, they die. Sound familiar?" 

"What will you do if they riot and start a war?" 

"They can't. I have control over all the major weapons that could even turn the tide in a war. I have most of the loyalty of everyone in this camp. The people that are collared? I have the power to shock them. Mutiny requires strategy and intelligence, but many of them are too stupid to properly plan it. If they tried, they wouldn't even make it out of this Village. Also, a good majority of them simply want to live their life freely. I'm sure you can understand that desire, right?" 

"I see," Octavia murmurs. "Why is being allies so important to you?" 

"The last war I fought, I fought alone," Diyoza says calmly, holding Octavia's gaze. "I wish I had strong people to call my allies back then, but I didn't. Being friendly neighbors is more than what you can do for me now, Octavia. Even if you help heal my people, I have all intentions of remaining your ally. You have numbers, you know this world better than we do. What if we need something from your Village in the future? If we're allies, you'll provide it, or you'll be open to a trade. What if someone else suddenly comes down from space, and they're not willing to talk things out? I'll need your help to ensure this Valley stays ours. Frankly, being allies is smarter. That, and my daughter shouldn't grow up fearing her neighbors, no more than Madi should." 

"You truly want peace, don't you?" Octavia asks softly, her eyebrows drawing together. 

Diyoza strokes her belly. "Yes, I do. Is that so hard to believe?" 

"You have purpose," Octavia whispers, her gaze flicking down to her stomach. "It's not your people, it's your child." 

"You lack purpose," Diyoza shoots back. "That's why peace seems so far from you. My advice? Find some purpose, Octavia, and then you'll fight for peace the same way you're fighting yourself." 

Octavia glares at her. "You don't know me." 

"No," Diyoza says slowly, "but I'd like to. We're allies, remember? I want you to want peace the same way I do. Is that a bad thing?" 

"It's not your place." 

"I'm not very good at minding my own business." 

"You should learn quickly." Octavia reaches out to take the next shot. Yet again, she doesn't flinch. "I will learn to trust you, Diyoza, because I have no other choice. But you and I are not friends." 

"I don't share my drinks with just anyone," Diyoza mutters, scanning Octavia's tense form. She tilts her head slowly. "Sure, let's start with trust and see where it goes from there." 

"No," Octavia says simply. "Trust only." 

Diyoza nods. "Mhm, sure. Tomorrow, I will be bringing the rest of my people down, as well as Raven and Murphy. I was hoping we could have a little...get together before we all go our separate ways. Food, drinks, mingling. I'm not saying we all become the best of friends, but we should all at least get a little comfortable with each other." 

"Unity day," Octavia whispers, her eyes going distant. 

"Sure," Diyoza says, "let's call it that. We can—"

"No, we will  _ not  _ call it that," Octavia cuts her off sharply. "We can't. That symbolizes something else, and it isn't good." 

Diyoza purses her lips. "Okay, fine. What about…Amalgamation Day?" 

Octavia stares at her. "What?" 

"Amalgamation. It's—well, it basically means unity, so it's the same thing but not. We can take whatever Unity Day symbolizes and make it better. Rewrite it to be a better part of history, so to speak." 

"You want to make this a tradition?" 

"If not for us, for the next generations after us. They won't always remember why we didn't go to war, and if we don't celebrate being allies, someone may one day forget. History repeats itself, Octavia." Diyoza smirks at her. "We should make sure it's the history we want that comes back around." 

Octavia holds her gaze, then she slowly nods. "Fine, but we're not calling it Amalgamation Day." 

"What's your suggestion?" 

_ "Ogeda deyon."  _

"Pretty," Diyoza murmurs. "What does that mean?" 

Octavia arches an eyebrow. "Together Day. Less of a mouthful, and it will do the same as your suggestion while ensuring that the language of a good portion of my people will remain through the years." 

Diyoza huffs a short laugh. "Compromise. I like it. See, we're already starting to trust each other. Tomorrow, we have  _ Ogeda deyon.  _ But, for tonight, what do you say to another drink?" 

"I...don't see why not," Octavia says carefully. 

Diyoza bites back a smile. Octavia is a different breed of person, but in a lot of ways, Diyoza understands her. She'd like for them to understand each other fully because she's pretty sure that's the one thing that will ensure that Hope's future is a bright one. So, whatever it takes, Diyoza will do it. 

For hope, and also for Hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, let me assure you, we get Raven and Murphy back next chapter! ❤ 
> 
> Second, I want to clarify that I don't do ANY character bashing, no matter how I, personally may feel about a character. For example, I let's just say I didn't like Madi (which is literally impossible, I love her, so this is just an example), even if that were true, I promise I still wouldn't bash her or make her arc in this fic terrible. I really am considering each character and their own personal journeys as I write them. I DO flesh them all out and give them well-earned arcs, but they all earn it. 
> 
> I'm saying this because I figure some readers may not like how Kane went to Diyoza about Octavia anyway. Just like some won't like how Octavia treated Abby this chapter. But please remember these are ALL flawed characters who have been through some heavy shit. They'll get where they need to be, I promise you ❤ 
> 
> Alright, I'll shut up now. If you enjoyed reading, don't hesitate to drop off some kudos and leave a comment or drop some theories and feedback; I adore all of it! Thank you and see you next Friday ;)
> 
> Ta! 
> 
> -SOBS


	6. The Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyooo, we're back again, folks! No real warnings for this chapter. 
> 
> *chants* RAVEN AND MURPHY RAVEN AND MURPHY RAVEN AND MURPHY RAVEN AND MURPHY RAVEN AND MURPHY

Clarke finally allows herself a nap. Sure, it's during the day time, a few hours before Raven and Murphy are scheduled to show up, but it's some sleep at least. She gets some pretty good rest, actually. 

Well, she does until she wakes up to someone pressing warm kisses to her throat. 

"B'llmy?" Clarke mumbles, blearily opening her gaze to peer down at the crown of curly hair she would recognize anywhere. 

Bellamy hums. "You're awake." 

"I  _ was  _ asleep." 

"Should have slept more the last two nights." 

Clarke grunts and gently shoves his head away from her, moving his lips off her neck. "Go be rude to someone else." 

"Ah, but you're my favorite person to be rude to." 

"Don't you have, like, friends now? I'm sure Monty would  _ love  _ to verbally spar with you." 

"Clarke," Bellamy says with a soft laugh, "as much as I love Monty, and it's a lot, I can't just go asking the guy for a kiss when I want one." 

"I'm sure Harper wouldn't mind," Clarke teases around a yawn. Unfortunately, her systems are coming back online and she's waking up. It's a tragedy, really. 

Bellamy gazes at her fondly and reaches out to push a stray strand of hair off her forehead. "I've missed you. It feels like forever since we've had any time to ourselves. I knew things would change." 

Clarke arches an eyebrow at him. "Bellamy, it's been four days. Speaking of time to ourselves, where exactly is our child right now?" 

"Well…" A strange look passes over Bellamy's face and he clears his throat. "She wanted to see Diyoza, so Octavia offered to take her. I said she could as long as Echo went with them. Echo agreed, and Octavia did too, surprisingly." 

"You put our daughter between Octavia and the person she'd like dead?" Clarke asks flatly. 

Bellamy coughs. "Stop it. Octavia would never hurt Madi, and Echo is...strong. Diyoza is good at defusing situations." 

"No, she isn't." 

"Okay, so she isn't, but I didn't know what else to do. Echo watches out for Madi, and so does Octavia, and they were only going to see Diyoza. It's literally right next door." 

"Right," Clarke mutters, sighing. "How exactly did those three end up being semi-questionable babysitters and we  _ still  _ chose them?" 

"We know they can be trusted, that's why. Also, they'll protect her with their lives," Bellamy says with an easy smile. "It'll be fine." 

"So, what I'm hearing is, you basically jumped at the chance to send our daughter next door just so you could wake me up to ask for a kiss?" 

"That's oversimplification, Clarke." 

Clarke's lips curl up. "Look at this, Bellamy Blake is  _ clingy.  _ Soft, sweet, needy. How cute." 

"Go float yourself," Bellamy replies flatly, even as he scoots a little closer. "You miss me, too. Shut up." 

"Yeah, that's fair," Clarke murmurs, her lips tipping down. "Everything did change, just like we expected. But we're still together, and we will continue to do right by Madi. My mom will get better soon. Raven and Murphy will be home today. We'll move into our new Village, and everything will even out again. Just a little...bump in the road, that's all." 

"Optimistic Clarke Griffin?" Bellamy sucks in a deep gasp, widening his eyes. "What's this? Am I witnessing a miracle?" 

"Maybe I've done a lot of thinking since Diyoza proved her trust and I saw how different Octavia was, but you can't prove a thing," Clarke says softly, quirking a playful smile as she reaches out to fiddle with a lock of his wavy hair. 

Bellamy's face suddenly gets serious. "Octavia told me what happened in the bunker before we ever made it back to the Valley. I—I didn't know how to tell you, and I didn't know all the details."

"Yeah, it's—it's, um, a lot to take in. Cannibalism. They actually…" Clarke trails off, swallowing hard.

"They had no choice," Bellamy rasps. 

Clarke heaves a sigh. "God, I hate that. You realize if—if we would have been down there, we would have had to step up, too, right?" 

"I don't want to think about that." 

"It's all Octavia thinks about, I think." 

"I don't know," Bellamy murmurs. "I think there's a lot of things that weigh on her, though that's probably at the top of the list." 

"Do you remember in our third year?" Clarke asks carefully, taking a deep breath. "We took Madi to Polis, and we—we shared a meal with those in the bunker. Do you—" 

"I remember," Bellamy cuts her off. "Whatever deity or fate decided to let that happen is just…" 

"Cruel," Clarke finishes off quietly. 

Bellamy is silent for a long beat, then he looks down at her. "I'm not saying things are okay now, but I am saying that things  _ will  _ be soon. We just have to work towards that point." 

"I know," Clarke agrees with a small smile. "You helped me realize that." 

"It's because I'm very smart and you should always,  _ always  _ listen to me," Bellamy teases gently, dipping his head and shaking his hair in her face. 

Clarke huffs a laugh and cards her hand through his hair, gripping it and using the leverage to gently lift his head so she can look at him. "I wouldn't go that far, Mr. Whatever The Hell We Want." 

"You're never going to let me live that down, are you?" Bellamy asks dryly. 

"Not for as long as we live. We'll be old and gray, and I'll still mock you for that one." Clarke grins at him and wrinkles her nose playfully when he rolls his eyes at her. 

Bellamy looks at her for a long moment, then his eyes soften. "You think we'll be together until we're old and gray?" 

"I mean…" Clarke swallows. She starts to pull her hand away, averting her eyes, but Bellamy catches her hand and guides it back to his hair. He holds her gaze, imploring her to go on. "Honestly, Bellamy, I think it's more of a toss up if we'll even make it that far. If we do, I don't foresee a reason we wouldn't be together. Why? Do  _ you?"  _

"Can't think of one reason," Bellamy murmurs softly. "To tell you the truth, Clarke, I always pictured you by my side, even as an old man. You were always just...there. I have no idea how I never realized I was in love with you." 

"We were distracted." 

"We're distracted now, and there's nothing that gets in the way of how sure I am that I love you." 

Clarke huffs a weak laugh. "Stop it. Don't be sweet right now. I've had a few emotional days, so I might do something stupid and cry. That, or I'll just have sex with you immediately." 

Bellamy gives her a crooked smile. "I mean, I'm willing to take the risk if that's a reward option." 

"I love you, too," Clarke murmurs, staring at him seriously. "You know that, right?" 

"Stop," Bellamy breathes, lowering his head to hover his lips over hers. "Now I'm getting emotional." 

Then he's kissing her, and that's really nice. So nice, actually. It's the first time they've kissed without something hanging over them in four days, and they make the most of it. 

It's one of those lazy, deep kisses that wakes Clarke's body up slowly. Her grip tightens in his hair so she can angle his head just the way she wants, and he reaches out to cup her jaw. Their lips move together, slow and heady, taking the time to  _ really  _ enjoy it. His tongue slides along hers, and she moans, her body coming to life in a heartbeat as a tingle shoots through her. She inhales sharply and drags him closer, her other hand clamping down on his shoulder, nails digging in. 

It's been five days since they've had sex, and logically, she knows that's not a long time compared to how long they've been without it. For nearly the first five years in the Valley, they never had sex for reasons that Clarke can't fathom now. All that time, and they never  _ once  _ even kissed. It's maddening to think of all the time they've wasted. 

But, from the first time they've had sex, they rarely went without it. Sure, they got busy, but they usually found  _ something  _ to do. The only time they didn't was when Clarke was on her menstrual, and even then, they did a whole lot of ridiculous making out and rutting against each other even though they  _ knew  _ it wasn't really going to go anywhere (except when it did, and Clarke would kneel between his legs because she could). The point is, five days of barely getting to be intimate with each other has certainly taken its toll, and having Bellamy with her like this reminds her how utterly wrong that is. 

So, yes, Clarke kisses him. She kisses him like she's stranded in the wasteland and he's her only source of water, desperate and deep. She drags him in closer and moans shamelessly into his mouth, gasping for air when he settles between her legs and grinds down against her, the muscles in his shoulders and back rippling under her hand. 

She kisses him as if she's starving, right up until the door bursts open without any warning whatsoever. Clarke rips herself away with a huff and groans when she looks over just as Bellamy glances over his shoulder to see people hovering by the door. Monty, Harper, and Emori specifically. 

"Oh, I knew it!" Harper declares immediately. She turns to Monty with a smug grin. "I  _ told you  _ that they're fucking." 

_ "Get out,"  _ Bellamy growls, but he knows that won't be happening. He just heaves a sigh and shoves himself off of Clarke, laying next to her and propping up on his elbows just like she is. He continues to glare, even as Clarke casually pulls the cover over his lap. "Can't you people knock?" 

Emori is grinning like she's just found a new source of prey. "Oh, John is going to  _ love  _ this." 

"I'm so sorry," Monty chokes out, glancing between the two girls in embarrassment. "I kept telling them we should knock, but Harper was determined to catch you, um, you know… In her defense, she really did call it." 

"Yes, we're fucking," Clarke says calmly, ignoring it when Bellamy chokes on air and Monty's cheeks flood with color. "We have been for a couple of years now, so you could say it's pretty serious. Now, what do you want?" 

"A couple of years?" Harper asks eagerly. "How many exactly? I fully thought Madi was biologically yours for a split second, but the age didn't make sense. So, how long did it take before you two got together? Is it  _ love?"  _

"Harper," Monty says weakly. 

Clarke rolls her eyes. "Year five. Yes, it's love. Now, seriously, what's up?" 

"Five  _ years?"  _ Emori sputters. "Are you serious? It took you two five years to have sex? You both went  _ five years  _ without sex when you two could have been having sex the entire time? What the hell is wrong with you two?" 

Bellamy grunts and flops back to the bed. "Tell me about it. Also, you're all terrible people." 

"Yeah," Monty sighs, "we know." 

Clarke rolls her eyes and swings herself out of bed, carelessly straightening her clothes and patting her hair down. "Okay, let's just move on. What is it that you all busted in here for?" 

"Oh, yeah," Harper says, perking up, "Diyoza and Shaw flew up to collect the first round of people, including Raven and Murphy, so they should be touching down within the next few minutes. Madi is already waiting outside with Echo and Octavia." 

"Could have led with that," Bellamy grumbles, rolling out of bed and glaring at them. 

Emori snorts. "Oh, lighten up. We have to get our kicks somewhere, you know." 

"Just so you know," Monty says softly, "I totally knew you two would be a thing." 

"We're done talking about this," Clarke says seriously in what she likes to think of as her  _ mom voice.  _ It usually works on most people. 

"Oh no, just wait until John finds out," Emori counters with a bright chuckle. 

So, Emori is apparently immune to the mom voice. 

Clarke heaves a sigh and marches past them, leaving Bellamy to fend for himself. She heads out the door, shutting it behind her and hurrying down the steps. A small crowd has gathered a ways away from where the Eligius ship usually sits, and Clarke can see Madi at the front of it. She stands next to Octavia, and Echo hovers behind them with her arms crossed. Clarke moves beside her. 

Echo glances over at her. Clarke glances back and offers a small smile. After a beat, Echo just nods and looks away, but Clarke does note that her face softens the tiniest bit. It's progress. 

"Madi," Octavia murmurs, "Clarke is behind us." 

"Clarke?" Madi immediately whirls around, and her smile grows. "How's Abby?" 

Clarke swallows. "She's, um, really sick. She'll get better soon, though." 

Clarke has been visiting her mom off-and-on since she took her to the Infirmary. Her mom is getting worse before she gets better. She keeps calling out for Kane, and sometimes, she says and does horrible things all because she wants her pills—insults Clarke, lashes out at Jackson, begs for death. It's not a pretty process at all, and there were a couple of close calls, but Clarke heard from Jackson that her fever finally broke a little bit before Clarke decided to actually settle down for a nap. 

Of course, Clarke isn't going to tell all of this to Madi. She won't lie, but the details aren't necessary. Clarke gets the feeling that Madi doesn't like Kane and Clarke's mom all that much, but only in the same way she is conflicted about Octavia, like she expected better from them and they let her down. Clarke knows that's partially her own fault, as well as Bellamy's, but it's too late to remedy it. 

"That's good," Madi says carefully. After a beat, her face brightens. "Guess what? Diyoza taught us how to play something called tic-tac-toe, and I convinced Octavia and Echo to play, and I beat them  _ both."  _

Clarke blinks. "Oh, is that right? Um, what kind of game is tic-tac-toe?" 

"A paper game," Echo mutters. "Madi cheated." 

"She did," Octavia agrees stiffly, never looking back at Echo, the side of her cheek jumping like her muscles are furious that her and Echo actually agree on something. 

Madi grins slightly and stands up on her tip-toes to whisper in Clarke's ear. "They're just grumpy because they have to get along in front of me," she breathes, her words so low that Clarke can barely hear them, but Clarke laughs softly. 

"I can see that," Clarke mumbles, ignoring it when both Echo and Octavia shoot her suspicious looks. 

"Where's Dad?" Madi asks, only to immediately lose her smile when she realizes her own slip up. Even after everything, it sobers her up to think about her own parents and accidentally give those titles to them. "I mean, where's Bellamy?" 

Clarke smiles at her tenderly. "He'll be coming out soon. Emori, Harper, and Monty barged in and got us up. I left him to deal with them." 

"Okay," Madi says easily. Her good mood creeps back up on her and she bounces in place. "Are you excited to see Raven and Murphy?" 

"Raven, yes. Murphy...eh," Clarke teases. 

Madi rolls her eyes. "Uh huh, sure. You and Bellamy gave him so much shit over the years, but I could always tell you both liked him." 

"He's an acquired taste," Echo mutters dryly. 

"So are you, to be fair," Clarke retorts, hoping she sounds playful. Echo arches an eyebrow at her. "It's a  _ joke,  _ Echo. Lighten up." 

"Hey, we're here." 

They all turn to watch the others shove their way up to the front, Bellamy heaving a sigh of relief as soon as he sees Clarke and Madi. He immediately moves to stand beside her, reaching out to flick Octavia's ear. Octavia glares at him and grips the hilt of her blade in threat, but Bellamy just winks at her. Madi giggles into her hand. 

"I was right," Harper tells Echo immediately. "Clarke and Bellamy are—" 

Monty clamps a hand over her mouth, clearing his throat. "Child present." 

"Monty," Harper says with a snort as she pushes his hand away from her mouth, "I was just going to say  _ together.  _ As in, they're dating." 

"Can we not?" Bellamy mutters. 

Octavia turns to look at them with an arched eyebrow. "I would just like to point out that I knew this the entire time, even before  _ Praimfaya."  _

"Octavia, we didn't get together until we were well on into our fifth year here," Clarke says slowly. 

"That's because you're both very stupid," Octavia tells her simply. "You've been a  _ thing  _ for a while. Everyone knew it, by the way." 

Bellamy grunts. "Yes, thank you, we know. You were all right, and we were blind. Let it go." 

"I thought they were married," Madi offers. 

"Traitor," Clarke mutters, shooting her a look. Madi just smiles at her with amusement in her eyes. 

"Hey, look," Emori says breathlessly, her head tilting back as she peers up into the sky with bright eyes, her grin growing wide with excitement. 

They all look up, and Clarke feels Bellamy's hand slide into hers. Madi leans back against them with a heavy exhale, wonder on her face. They all watch as the dot in the sky slowly grows over time, the ship lowering closer and closer to the ground. The treetops start swaying, leaves and sticks whipping around as the ship sinks further down. 

Clarke feels like the ground is shaking, or maybe that's her. The moment Raven and Murphy step off that ship, all of their people will be accounted for. Everyone will be able to step into the next part of their lives, the peaceful stage, and there will be nothing stopping them from doing so. 

A few minutes later, Shaw maneuvers the ship to the ground. The forest floor really does tremble then, but only briefly. The engines whir as they're cut, and Clarke squeezes Bellamy's hand tight. After another excruciatingly long moment, the doors start to lower. Everyone watches with a bated breath as the ramp comes down and no one exits the ship. 

The moment Raven and Murphy start walking down the ramp, staring around in open surprise, awe on their faces, Emori shoves herself forward. She even bumps into Octavia, who glares and looks ready to fight, but Emori blatantly ignores her. 

Clarke blinks when Emori bypasses Murphy entirely, throwing herself at Raven with vigor. Murphy rolls his eyes, but even from this far away, Clarke can see the fondness on his face. Only once Raven and Emori have hugged for a long moment does she turn and kiss Murphy, who immediately pulls her close and closes his eyes. Raven watches them with a roll of her eyes until they break apart, then all three of them grin at each other.

"Raven!" Monty calls out, waving his arm wildly. Unlike Emori, he doesn't seem brave enough to shove Octavia out of the way. 

Murphy, Emori, and Raven draw closer. Raven is grinning at them, practically shoving Murphy away as she moves forward to hug Monty, then Echo, then Harper. She then turns the brightness of her grin to Bellamy and Clarke. 

"You have no idea how good it is to see you," Raven whispers hoarsely. Madi quickly ducks aside just as she surges forward to hug them both, sounding like she's crying. "Thank you both  _ so much.  _ You saved us, all of us. Thank you." 

Clarke laughs a little wetly and pulls away to see Raven smiling through her tears. "We're just glad it worked. We missed you so much." 

"Come on," Bellamy says softly, glancing at the new people pouring out of the Eligius ship, "let's go somewhere quiet to talk. All of us." 

* * *

Raven stares at them. 

"So, let me get this straight," she says, "Octavia is now a dictator, everyone in the bunker had to resort to Cannibalism, Abby became an addict, Kane has long hair now, we're going to share this Valley with a bunch of seasoned criminals, and you two adopted a Grounder child to raise?" 

Clarke shares a look with Bellamy, then heaves a sigh. "Yeah, basically." 

"Never a dull moment," Murphy mutters. 

"Oh, and Clarke and Bellamy are having sex now," Emori says quickly. She shoots a quick look at Madi and clears her throat. "Uh, I mean they're in love now, or whatever." 

Murphy's eyebrows jump up. "Is that right?" 

"I totally called it," Harper mutters. 

"Okay, drop the thing about me and Clarke," Bellamy snaps, staring at them disapprovingly and waving his hand. "That's not important right now." 

"I beg to differ," Murphy says with a shit-eating grin. He leans forward, clearly amused. "I mean, I always knew you had a thing for her, Bellamy, even back in the beginning. You just let her call the shots all the time despite acting like the  _ leader,  _ and I had the faint suspicion you just wanted to—" 

"Shut up, Murphy," Raven says, reaching out to elbow him and shoot him a stern look. "You can tease them  _ after  _ we figure out what's going on." 

Murphy snorts and tosses up a hand. "There's nothing going on. It's simple. Sounds like it's all worked out to me. We go find a new Village and live a regular life with Octavia marching around, going on murder sprees and having people kiss her boots, all while the archaic criminals next door live in peaceful harmony. What's there to talk about?" 

"I can't believe we missed him," Clarke tells Bellamy flatly. 

"Yeah, I'm finding that hard to believe, too," Murphy says easily, smirking. 

Bellamy rolls his eyes. "Before we can go off and live out our lives peacefully, we need to get through this last day here. Uh, Octavia and Diyoza decided to celebrate being allies by throwing a party not unlike Unity Day, but also...not. It's going to be called  _ Ogeda deyon." _

"Together Day?" Raven asks, arching an eyebrow. When Bellamy and Clarke shoot her a faint look of surprise, she throws Echo and Emori a smile. "Echo and Emori taught us a few different things on the ring." 

"Octavia says that it will signify the unity between everyone, and hopefully, it'll continue on throughout the generations. That way, after we're long gone, the people that remain won't go to war because they forgot the reasons we didn't." Bellamy glances around at everyone. "We  _ will  _ be attending, and we  _ will  _ behave." 

"Okay,  _ Dad,"  _ Murphy says with raised eyebrows. He shoots Madi a look. "You really put up with that for six years? My heart bleeds for you, kid." 

Madi frowns, looking over at Bellamy. "When we get to our new Village, I want to be able to visit here."

Clarke tenses. "Well, I will have to come to help with my mom, then help the sick Eligius people, so you can...visit under my supervision." 

"What?" Madi's eyebrows furrow. "No, that can't be it. I promised Diyoza I would help look after Hope, and I can't do that if I can't visit when I want." 

"Who's Hope?" Raven murmurs. 

"Diyoza's unborn child," Echo whispers to her. 

Bellamy steps forward and looks at Madi with an apologetic expression. "It may not be safe for you to come and go as you please. You won't be able to explore the Valley as much either." 

"If we aren't going to treat these people like allies, then what's the point of  _ Ogeda deyon?"  _ Madi grumbles, her eyes narrowing. "I should be able to travel here whenever I like without having to worry, just like these people should be able to visit us. I  _ promised,  _ Bellamy, and you said people should always try to keep their promises if they can. You said it means people have integrity if they do." 

"Bet you're regretting that one," Murphy muses. 

Clarke glares at him. "Shut  _ up,  _ Murphy." 

"Madi," Bellamy says with a sigh, "we'll...take it slow, okay? Just—just let everyone adjust first. Start by visiting with others when they go. Deal?" 

"But—" 

"Madi," Clarke cuts in sternly. "That's as good as you're going to get for now. Take it or leave it." 

_ "Fine,"  _ Madi says sharply, her hands clenching into fists as she moves towards the door. 

Bellamy frowns. "Hey, where are you going?" 

"Don't worry," Madi snaps, throwing Bellamy an arch look, "I'll find Octavia to keep me safe since I'm apparently incapable. I'm sure she'd just  _ love  _ to stab someone for me." 

The door shuts behind her with a slam. 

"She's got spunk," Murphy decides. "I like her." 

Clarke ignores him and reaches out to squeeze Bellamy's hand. "She'll be fine. She's still stressed, and I think she's trying to make up for killing Dick by vowing to protect Hope." 

"I'll talk to Diyoza about it later," Bellamy mutters wearily. "Or Octavia. I don't know." 

"Too many leaders," Echo says. 

"Right, because  _ two  _ people in charge is pushing it," Murphy murmurs sarcastically. 

Echo shoots him a flat look. "Yes, actually. There can't be two people in power. Eventually, it will lead to a fight. Allies are fine for  _ now,  _ but there will come a day when Diyoza challenges Octavia, or vise versa. One of them has to be in charge over the other, or there will be war." 

"No, we can make this work," Bellamy says. "It can't be  _ that  _ hard to just be...neighbors. All we have to do is coexist." 

"If it were that simple, there would have never been a war between  _ Skaikru  _ and the Grounders," Emori explains with a frown. 

Clarke shakes her head. "The war was almost put to rest when I kneeled to Lexa. It would have been if…"

"If I never helped Pike," Bellamy whispers, his eyes sinking shut. 

Echo ignores him. "That just proves my point." 

"No, because that's not the full story," Clarke continues, swallowing thickly. "I never planned to kneel to Lexa, not after her betrayal. I wouldn't have, not if she didn't kneel to me first." 

"Okay, but you two were, like, in love," Murphy mutters. "That doesn't count. And, from what I've seen, Octavia doesn't look like she's going to fall in love with Diyoza anytime soon." 

Clarke scowls. "The love came  _ after,  _ Murphy. It happened fast, but it only became possible because Lexa recognized that we all wanted to coexist. She had to work around Grounder traditions, but we could have made it work. Diyoza wants to coexist even more than Lexa did, and Octavia is smart enough to know that's the best route to peace. This  _ will  _ work, because it has to." 

"So, we just let it play out?" Raven leans back on Madi's bed, propping her leg up and fiddling mindlessly with the brace. "I think only time will tell. But, either way, we need to figure out what side we're on if things do go wrong." 

"Being neutral isn't an option," Echo tells them. 

Bellamy shakes his head. "We won't be. We'll be on the side that's  _ right."  _

"Even if it's Octavia that's wrong?" Harper asks carefully, raising her eyebrows. 

"Even then." Bellamy swallows and takes a deep breath. "But it won't get to that point. We're going to have to be the voices of reason and step in to make sure this goes well. That means actively combating  _ any  _ ideas of betrayal from  _ anyone."  _

"Peacekeepers," Raven sighs. 

Murphy snorts. "Who knew? After all we've done, and now we're going to keep the peace? After spending so much time destroying it? Really, anyone can come back from anything." 

"Where do we start?" Monty asks. 

Clarke shrugs. "Things seem okay for now. We start by enjoying  _ Ogeda deyon.  _ We try to really feel like allies, and we make sure everyone stays comfortable. No fights, no arguments, no talk of war. Then we go to our new Village and make a life for ourselves. That's really all we can do." 

"Sounds simple enough," Raven muses, shrugging and pushing to her feet. "Let's get it done." 

Murphy sighs. "Oh joy. Sure, let's go be good guys."

* * *

Clarke stops by the Infirmary to see her mother. Cooper is posted outside the room, and she nods when Clarke steps in. It's a bit uncomfortable to think she's only there because Octavia is dead set on keeping Kane away from her mom. 

A part of Clarke wants to break the rule. Some strange, rebellious part of her that recognizes how inherently wrong it is for Octavia to be punishing them this way. She stomps out that little insistence, though. Because, ultimately, she knows it's about more than just punishing them. Octavia has made it to where Kane can't see Abby until the Eligius people are healed—if they can be—and if that's not incentive to get it done quickly, Clarke doesn't know what is. It's wrong, but effective, and she hates how much she  _ gets  _ it. 

Clarke sometimes looks at Octavia and sees herself, sees what she could have and almost became, sees some of the mistakes she has made in the past that ate her alive the same way Octavia's mistakes tear her to pieces. If Octavia wasn't  _ trying,  _ Clarke thinks she wouldn't feel sorry for her, but Octavia is in her own way, so Clarke does. 

Jackson smiles slightly at her and exits the room with a small nod. If Clarke had to guess, Miller is probably waiting around close by for Jackson to have a break, which she now is providing for him. She smiles after him in amusement before turning back to the medical table her mom is strapped to. 

"Hey, mom," Clarke murmurs, walking forward to peer down at her. 

Abby blinks open her eyes. She's pale and clammy, and her body wracks with tremors, but she's actually starting to look better. "Clarke?" 

"It's me," Clarke whispers, reaching out to smooth her mom's hair out of her face. "How are you feeling today?" 

"Like death," Abby croaks. "How's Marcus?" 

"He's fine." Clarke watches her mom's face soften, some of the lines smoothed away. "I saw him a little bit earlier. He was eating with a few people in Wonkru. Have you heard of  _ Ogeda deyon?"  _

"Jackson was telling me about it." 

"Well, Kane will be participating. It means Together Day, and it's similar to Unity Day, sort of. It's supposed to signify that we're all allies and will always share this Valley without war." 

"Who's idea was it?"

"Octavia's, actually." 

Abby swallows dryly. "I know you think I'm horrible for what I did to her…"

"No, Mom, I don't. I think you were all in a horrible situation, and everyone did their best." 

"I thought you'd hate her, you know. I—I used to think about how you'd react when you saw what she's become, but you...you understand her." 

"Mom," Clarke whispers, "I  _ was  _ her. For a while there, I was. I got better, and she will, too." 

"I'm sorry." Abby's face screws up, and she turns her head to the side as tears wet her wrinkled cheeks. The addiction and trauma on top of the years have aged her exponentially. She lets out a gasping breath and blinks hard, looking back at Clarke. "I condemned her for something that was partially my fault, for something I would have forgiven you for. She was just a  _ child.  _ You—you were all just children." 

Clarke swallows around the lump in her throat. "It's going to be okay. You're going to get better, and you're going to help me and Jackson heal these people. Then you and Kane will be together again. I want you to come to us when you're able, to live with us, get to know my child. We can have a peaceful life, Mom.  _ Finally."  _

"Clarke," Abby rasps, "I don't think Marcus and I will leave here if Diyoza doesn't force us to. If we don't have to live with Octavia, we're not going to. I'm sorry, but I just  _ can't."  _

"Oh." Clarke's heart gives a sharp twist in her chest, and she can't hide the disappointment in her voice or on her face. As soon as her mom sees it, her face crumbles again, more tears leaking out. "No, hey, Mom, it's okay. It's  _ okay.  _ I—I understand. We'll come visit, I promise, and everything will work out." 

"You don't need me anymore. You haven't for a very long time." 

"I always need you." 

Abby sniffs and shakes her head. "I'll always be close by, but you don't need me there anymore. You have Madi now." 

"And Bellamy," Clarke whispers, licking her lips. 

"You love him, don't you?" 

"Yeah, I really do." 

"Well," Abby says with a deep exhale, her lips curling up slightly, "I always knew he was a good boy, deep down. He has a good heart."

Clarke laughs softly as her mom does, both of them smiling through their tears. "Yeah, he does. He's a good man and a good father. But just because I have him and Madi...it doesn't mean that you're not still my mom. I love you." 

"I love you, too, Clarke," Abby whispers, her eyes softening and welling up with tears all over again. 

For a long time after that, Clarke sits with her mother. They talk in quiet voices about the future, about ideas on what could be wrong with the Eligius crew who are starting to get sicker, about Madi and Bellamy, about the few happy moments in the bunker. It's the first conversation Clarke has had with her mother since she started detoxing that hasn't resulted in her mother begging for pills. 

Clarke feels something in her settle. She has missed her mom more than she can express, and this simple conversation makes her feel like a weight has lifted off her chest. They talk right up until Jackson comes back with a skip in his step and a smile playing around the corner of his lips. After a quick goodbye to him and a longer one to her mom, Clarke heads outside to see how  _ Ogeda deyon  _ is going. 

It's...going. 

Actually, it's in full swing. Diyoza and Octavia had ordered some of their people to bring in fruit and go fishing so that there's enough food for everyone. The Village is practically overflowing with people, even though hundreds of people from Wonkru have had to settle in the surrounding woods because there's just so many of them. With the added Eligius prisoners from Space, everything is really...crowded. 

It's not that hard to find her own people. She just has to locate someone shorter than everyone else, Madi, and then she finds that Bellamy is right next to her. She's currently talking to Shaw, while Bellamy appears to be in the middle of a conversation with someone from Wonkru. Raven appears to be walking over to them. 

Clarke scans the crowd from the top step, frowning as she tries to spot anyone else she knows. Finally, she finds Monty and Murphy talking to Octavia, who looks ready to slit their throats, which is just a recipe for disaster, really. Echo and Harper seem to be in a conversation with Diyoza and another woman from the Eligius crew. Indra is standing next to Gaia, who looks to be keeping an eye on Kane. 

After having recently spoken with her mom, Clarke finds herself heading towards Kane with a small frown. He's just sitting down on a log, watching everything carefully like he's waiting for it to melt away. He has so much more gray hair than Clarke remembers, and it's throwing her off. 

"Clarke," Indra greets calmly. 

"Mind if I speak with Kane?" Clarke asks. 

Gaia sweeps out a hand. "You are not Abby, so of course. Don't mention her to him, however." 

Clarke smiles at her tightly. "You got it." 

"Octavia's influence is vast and gripping," Kane mutters dryly when Clarke sits down next to him. He looks at her pointedly. "How is Abby?" 

Clarke says nothing. 

"Vast, gripping, and dangerous. As I thought." 

"I'm not following Octavia's rules because I'm scared of her, Kane," Clarke murmurs. "I'm following them because I understand them. I know how to pick my battles these days, and I'm well aware which cause is worth fighting for." 

"You've grown into an intelligent, compassionate young woman," Kane notes. "Your mother talked about you often in the bunker, hoping you were safe and happy. Thank you for helping her get clean when I couldn't." 

"Thank you for being there for her when I wasn't," Clarke replies softly. "I wanted to ask if your viewpoint has changed at all." She gestures around at everyone. "You can see that Octavia is trying.  _ Ogeda deyon _ is a good idea, Kane, even you have to admit that." 

Kane looks around, his expression open and thoughtful. He ends up frowning. "I like to think that everyone can come back from the things they've done. If Octavia is attempting that, then I hope it works out. I want to believe that we can all have peace, but only time will tell." 

"You'll see." Clarke smiles at him slightly as he looks over at her curiously. She reaches out to squeeze his shoulder, then stands. "By the way, I'm going to speak with Diyoza about you and Mom staying here together after the people are healed." 

"Why?" Kane asks. 

Clarke looks at him for a beat. "That's where you and her will find your peace, and just like Octavia does, you both deserve it." 

With that, she walks away. She meanders through the crowd of people, nodding and apologizing quickly as she goes. She imagines that Octavia ordered the people of Wonkru to participate the same way Diyoza must have ordered those in the Eligius crew to as well. People look like they're  _ trying  _ to mingle, at least. It's a start. 

"Clarke." 

Coming to a halt, Clarke turns around in surprise, her eyebrows going up. "Gaia, hey." 

"May we talk?" Gaia asks softly, her eyes strangely serious and intense. 

"Uh, sure," Clarke says easily. She glances around, looking towards the edge of people. "Come on." 

They're spit out near the large building that a lot of people have been sleeping in. The moment they're out of the crowd, Gaia steps forward and leads them farther away, around the corner where no one is lingering. Things suddenly seem a lot quieter. 

"I wanted to speak to you about Madi," Gaia says, getting straight to the point. 

Clarke's stomach tightens, and she snaps up straight. "No. Whatever you're about to say, the answer is  _ no,  _ Gaia." 

"I am the last  _ fleimkepa,  _ Clarke," Gaia hisses insistently. "It is my sacred duty to ensure the legacy of the previous  _ Hedas  _ live on. Madi is the last natural  _ natblida  _ on Earth. It is  _ tradition  _ to—"

"Fuck your tradition," Clarke spits, making Gaia rear back in shock. "The time for Commanders is over. Madi is a  _ child,  _ and that  _ fleim _ won't go anywhere near her, do you understand that?" 

Gaia stares at her for a long moment, then her lips press into a thin line. "You cannot just deny her right to the—" 

"She doesn't want it." Clarke steps forward, lowering her voice. "She has nightmares about it. She has  _ never  _ wanted it. No one is going to force it on her, Gaia, let's be clear about that. If you bring this up again, or even  _ hint  _ that your faith is leading you to put Madi in danger, I will not hesitate to stop you. In case you forgot, Madi is Octavia's niece, and  _ Octavia  _ is in charge. If she thinks you're trying to usurp her, how do you think she'll react?" 

"The years under  _ Blodreina  _ were important at that time when we had no other options," Gaia says tersely. "My loyalty to her is unquestionable, but my faith is much stronger." 

Clarke glares at her. "Don't make me do this, Gaia. Don't upset the peace like this for no reason. Your faith will get you killed or the  _ fleim  _ destroyed, or both. And, if it comes to Madi's safety, I won't hesitate to make that call." 

"You're making a mistake," Gaia grits out. 

"No, I'm making the best choice for my child," Clarke replies just as harshly. "This is your one warning. Your next mistake will cost you the very thing you're devoted to and possibly your life." 

Gaia's face goes blank. She just nods. 

Clarke turns around and marches away, exhaling deeply as she enters the crowd again. Her mind races at an alarming rate, and she goes back and forth on whether she should just tell Octavia anyway. Doing that would undoubtedly cause a reaction, but Clarke doesn't know if it will end with Gaia dead or not—she doesn't want to be the cause of anyone's death, not anymore. 

She'll talk to Bellamy about it. He'll have some insight, and who knows, he might even have an idea. For now, she won't be going to Octavia about this, not when things are so precarious. 

Her eyes scan the crowd, looking for any sign of Madi. She just needs to know that her child is safe right now, especially after that conversation. It takes her a while of walking around, and her anxiety grows with each passing moment, but she eventually finds Madi again. Clarke eases and notes with some amusement that Diyoza has found her way over to Shaw, Bellamy, Madi, and Raven. Seeing them all together soothes something in Clarke—if nothing else, she knows that these people would make sure Madi is safe. 

The moment she comes into sight, Bellamy's gaze snaps over to her and doesn't leave, his conversation with Raven filtering out as he trails off, blatantly and shamelessly distracted. Raven just rolls her eyes and turns to start talking to Shaw, and in moments, they seem to be bickering. 

"Clarke," Bellamy greets, almost formal. 

"Bellamy," Clarke replies, her eyebrows raising. He clears his throat, coughing slightly. She knows he's having not-so-innocent thoughts about her right now, and it amuses her. 

Diyoza arches her eyebrow. "Great, you're both here. Just the people I wanted to see. Madi has brought something to my attention that I want to discuss with you two." 

"Oh? Has she?" Clarke asks, turning her gaze to Madi, who suddenly looks very stubborn. 

"She's dead set on getting here to, uh, look after Hope," Diyoza says bluntly, gesturing to her stomach. "It seems you two aren't comfortable letting her roam at her leisure, not at first, and I completely agree with that." 

Madi instantly looks betrayed. "What?! But I—" 

"Madi," Bellamy says sharply, and her mouth snaps shut. He turns his gaze to Diyoza. "Are you offering a solution?" 

Diyoza nods. "At first, it's not going to matter with Abby being here and the doctors coming to try and heal my people. Someone will be visiting every day, sometimes for hours at a time, and Madi will always be safe under my care. But, after that, the visits will be infrequent and sporadic, and Madi doesn't seem too satisfied with that." 

"No," Clarke agrees, throwing Madi a look, "she doesn't. What's your plan?" 

"I was planning to offer this to Octavia and those she deems important to have them anyway, but I'm more than happy to give some to you two and Madi," Diyoza starts calmly. "We have more than enough radios, and Raven seems smart enough to use parts we offer to make more." 

Raven, who has blatantly been eavesdropping with Shaw, leans over and nods. "Yeah, I can work with that, plus having a model to work with will help." 

"Good." Diyoza heaves a sigh and shrugs. "It's all I can offer you. When the visits slow down, you'll at least have a way to communicate with her as she travels to and from. But, as we've decided, we're all allies. You can't be afraid of us forever." 

Bellamy shakes his head. "We're not afraid of  _ you,  _ Diyoza. I trust you, even with my daughter. There are other people here, however, and I don't trust them, not yet. We need time." 

"Lucky for you," Diyoza murmurs, "we have plenty of that to look forward to. Soon, you'll have to learn to trust us all, or trust my leadership. With a way to communicate with Madi, will that ease some of your worries? Because she will find a way here regardless. I believe she gets her stubbornness from you two." 

Raven snorts, then tries to cover it up. 

Clarke ignores her and looks over at Bellamy, gauging his reaction. It's hard to ask them to simply let Madi go in this world, but she's used to her freedom. She's used to being able to go where she pleases, and if she's decided to protect Hope, then they know her well enough to understand that she'll do that whether they approve of it or not. 

The thing is, it's an honorable thing to do, to offer protection to Diyoza's child. Clarke is pretty sure it's one of the things that's helping her heal from the mistake with Dick, an opportunity to do better, and Clarke can't be angry with her for that. It's exactly what they taught her, so of course she's insistent on it. In some ways, Clarke is so,  _ so  _ proud of her. 

But she's also scared. Anything can go wrong, and everything has seemed to as of late. Madi could get hurt or worse in those woods, because they're no longer alone. She could get hurt in the Village if Diyoza isn't there in time. Being a radio call away won't stop that from happening—nothing will, not unless Clarke and Bellamy, or someone they trust, goes with her every time she wishes to visit. Except that won't always be possible. 

Clarke holds Bellamy's gaze for a long moment, then they both look at Madi. She has her arms crossed and a stubborn line to her jaw, looking so much like Bellamy in that moment that it's insane. 

"A few radios would be nice," Clarke finally murmurs, watching Madi's shoulders loosen. "We'll take it slow and adjust, but...you're right, Madi is very stubborn." Now, Madi looks a mixture of triumphant and sheepish, glancing over at them with a chagrined smile. "Time will ease the strain, I'm sure, so we'll see how it goes."

Diyoza smirks. "Good to know. Now, if you'll excuse me, I want to go offer the same thing to Octavia. Being neighborly and all that." 

With that, she dips her head and walks away, her hand lazily resting on her holstered gun. Raven and Shaw awkwardly glance between Clarke, Madi, and Bellamy. Madi shuffles her feet, looking down at the patch of grass she's kicking at, clearly avoiding the possible fallout from her actions. 

"So," Shaw says with a cough, "this feels like a moment. I'm gonna go." 

Raven's lips twitch. "Yeah, I picked up on that, too. Come on, you should meet Murphy." 

After sharing weighted looks, they both pointedly walk away, leaving Clarke and Bellamy semi-alone with Madi. Well, as alone as they can get. There are people all around them, talking and eating, slowly embracing  _ Ogeda deyon.  _ Madi is still crossing her arms, seemingly fixated on the clump of grass the toe of her boot has uprooted. 

"Madi," Bellamy says with a small smile, making her look up, "you're not in trouble, relax." 

Madi scoffs. "I'm relaxed. I didn't do anything  _ wrong,  _ I just...complained to Diyoza, that's all." 

"We want you to understand that we're just  _ worried  _ for you, Madi," Clarke murmurs. 

"I know." Madi frowns, pushing the clump of grass back into place, lightly pressing down on it with her foot to pack it in. "You're always worried about me. I know things didn't exactly go like we thought they would, but this is what I'm trained for, right? You always agreed that I needed to know how to survive in case things went wrong. Isn't  _ this  _ exactly what I'm prepared for? I—I know I messed up with Dick. I let my anger get the best of me, and I made a mistake I knew not to make, and that's on me. But you have to trust me. You have to believe I'll be okay." 

"We're trying," Bellamy says, reaching out to lightly nudge Madi's shoulder. "Just...work with us on this, okay? Things have been really hard lately, but we love you and want you to be safe." 

Madi purses her lips. "So...baby steps, then?" 

"Baby steps," Clarke confirms. 

"In that case," Madi chirps happily, "can I go hang out with Aunty O and Ethan for  _ Ogeda deyon?"  _

"Ethan?" Bellamy frowns. "Who's Ethan?" 

Madi shrugs. "A Wonkru boy that Octavia looks after. He knows how to fight, too. Gaia trained him." 

Bellamy blinks. "Octavia looks after a—" 

"Yes, Madi, you can go spend time with Octavia and Ethan," Clarke cuts in quickly, offering her a small smile. "Don't leave the center of the Village, and stay close to people we trust, okay?" 

Madi rolls her eyes.  _ "Fine."  _

"Hey," Clarke says sternly, swallowing thickly as she grasps Madi's arm as she goes to leave. "Don't go anywhere alone with Gaia, do you understand?" 

"Why? Is she—" 

"Madi...just don't, okay?" 

"Okay…" Madi says softly, watching Clarke's face for a long moment. She nods seriously, then takes a step back, and Clarke lets her go. 

It takes a lot for Clarke to stand there and watch Madi disappear into the crowd, leaving her alone with Bellamy. Anything could go wrong, but at the same time...everything could be fine. She has to start thinking that way, or she'll never relax. 

It's hard to do when it comes to Madi. Out of everyone, it's her that Clarke feels the fiercest need to protect. Maybe that will ease over time when things calm down, but for now? Well, Clarke is always on edge, waiting for something to happen. Gaia's recent words don't really help that feeling. 

"Clarke?" 

Glancing over, Clarke can see Bellamy staring at her searchingly, picking up on her tension. "Not here. Come with me." 

Bellamy frowns slightly, but he follows Clarke towards what used to be their home. It's empty now, everything packed away into wooden crates or sacks. It had come as a huge surprise to see what things they've accumulated over the last six years; it's a lot more than she'd realized. 

When they slip inside, Clarke moves over to the window to peer outside, looking over the crowd. She can just make out Octavia at the far side, Madi and a boy with sandy hair watching her intently as she shows them something with her blade. Echo seems to be hovering at the edges beside Murphy and Emori, the three of them watching and murmuring to each other. Everyone is fine. 

Bellamy leans up against the other side of the window, looking at Clarke. "What is it?" 

"Gaia," Clarke says simply. "She came to me and brought up the  _ fleim.  _ She said it's Madi's right as the last natural  _ natblida,  _ and her faith outweighs her devotion to Octavia." 

"Shit!" Bellamy curses, his face twisting into a scowl. He wipes a hand over his mouth and sighs, grimacing as he peers out the window. Quieter, he repeats, "Shit." 

"I threatened to tell Octavia." Clarke frowns when Bellamy snaps his head towards her, his eyes wide with distress. "I haven't. I will, though. If she makes one wrong move, I will." 

"We can't let that happen," Bellamy mutters, reaching up to shove a hand through his hair. "If Octavia finds out, she'll kill Gaia. If she does that, it will upset Indra and the peace, and it will send Octavia spiralling again." 

Clarke nods. "I know. So, what do we do?" 

"I don't know, Clarke." 

"I threatened her, but I don't think she's done. Her faith is strong, and as long as that  _ fleim  _ exists, she'll always want to make Madi the new Commander."

"So we destroy it." Bellamy holds his hand out like he's presenting the solution. "She can't harm Madi if it's gone, and she won't have anything to worship. All we have to do is…"

"Destroy her faith," Clarke says softly. 

Bellamy snaps his mouth shut, her eyes skirting to the side to avoid her gaze. Clarke understands. The idea makes her uncomfortable as well. This is a deep-rooted tradition that isn't theirs to destroy. It would be  _ wrong  _ to do it, and they certainly don't have the right. If it weren't going to affect their child, they'd never even consider it. 

"Doesn't Gaia have to have Madi's consent?" Bellamy asks abruptly. "She can't just force it into her head, right?" 

"I'd like to think that, but I have no idea what lengths Gaia will go for this," Clarke admits. "There may be another option, though. I know how to change the pass-phrase that unlocks it. If I put it to something no one will guess, Gaia will never be able to use it again—no one will. Her faith won't be crushed and Madi will be safe." 

"That involves getting it, and I don't think Gaia will just hand it over," Bellamy says. 

"No," Clarke agrees, "she won't." 

Bellamy looks at her, his gaze hard. "You want to steal it from her. Maybe fight for it." 

"If we have to, yeah." Clarke tilts her chin up, holding her ground, even as her heart twinges with fear that Bellamy will go against her again. 

"So much for peacekeepers." 

"It's  _ Madi,  _ Bellamy!" 

"No, I know," Bellamy murmurs, his voice softening as he sighs. "You're right. I'm not going to fight you on this one. I just—I don't know. I want it all to stop, you know? I want everything to be okay." 

Clarke swallows. "I know. I do, too." 

Bellamy glances out the window again for a moment, then looks at her. After a beat, he walks over and abruptly reaches out to drag her into a hug. It shouldn't surprise her, but it does. 

After years of easy intimacy and frequent contact, just a few days of a fast-paced life like before has unraveled some of the normalcy between them. The way he cups the back of her head and wraps his arm around her waist, pressing them flush together, it makes her falter for a split second. There's really no reason for it, not in the middle of such a heavy conversation, but he must have simply wanted to. Everything has been getting in the way of that, of the things they want, and she's beginning to adjust to that as well. She doesn't want to, but she is. 

To combat it, she reaches around him to hug him back much tighter than necessary. She holds him with all her might and squeezes until he lets out a small huff, though he doesn't complain. He simply tucks her in closer and kisses the top of her head, a simple gesture that makes her eyes sink shut in relief. For a long moment, they just hold onto each other, breathing slowly.

"Let's get through tonight," Bellamy mumbles against the crown of her head. "We'll figure out what to do in a few days. Better offer?" 

Clarke pulls back just enough to smile up at him slightly, tilting her head back to see him looking down at her. "One day at a time, Bellamy. We'll get through this. We always do." 

"I'm happy we're together this time," Bellamy admits in a whisper. He drags his hand from behind her head to tuck a stray curl back from her face as he holds her gaze. "We're better together." 

"We always have been," Clarke agrees. 

Bellamy huffs a small laugh and ducks down to press their foreheads together, his eyes sinking shut. Clarke copies him, her breathing evening out. They stand there, wrapped up together, for a long time. 

Even when they part, they do it together. When they go back to the mild party, they stay side-by-side. As they meet new people and catch up with old friends, their hands never fall away from each other. A united front once again, intimate and close and stronger, they face every moment together.

_ Ogeda deyon  _ means something to everyone. 

To them, it means everything. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! If you enjoyed it, don't hesitate to drop off some kudos and leave a comment; I love every single one! See you next Friday ❤ 
> 
> Ta!
> 
> -SOBS


	7. The Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got some Spacekru moments, some Blake Sibling bonding, some cute Madi moments, a bit of a look at Ethan (he's important later), and some Bellarke Sex against a tree. Oh, and Murphy is a damn delight ❤ 
> 
> No warnings. 
> 
> Enjoy ;)

It takes about a day of calm walking to reach the Village that Octavia finally decided on. It's actually bigger than the Village they started at, but Bellamy had never felt the need to move to a more spacious place with Clarke and Madi because it was just the three of them. This new Village has more houses and more space, but not nearly enough to house over eight hundred people. 

Octavia didn't pick this place because it has a few more houses, or because it's not that far from a wide river that will provide water and fish, or because there is plenty of open space to build. No, she finally settled on this Village because it's not too far from a wide cliffside that will help as a defense system. The most important thing, to her, is that the Village they settle at is hard to attack and easy to defend. 

As soon as they make it to the new place, Octavia assigns all the houses and has everyone else set up tents to get a good night of rest before starting to build the very next day. There's enough houses that Clarke, Madi, and Bellamy get one, but Murphy, Echo, and Emori are directed to put up a tent. Raven automatically opens her given home to Emori and Murphy, and Monty and Harper force Echo inside theirs, even as she protests. Otherwise, all the high-ranking warriors in Wonkru get their own homes, or they share, and then everyone with a kid gets a place. Bellamy notices that Ethan doesn't seem to have parents, so Octavia allows him to stay with her and Indra—right next door to Bellamy. Anything left over goes to those with other useful skills while Octavia heartlessly makes hundreds of people camp outside. 

Well, it's not really heartless when he thinks about it. She's just being the leader, deciding who gets what and who goes where, and no one in Wonkru complains. It's no harsher than deciding who lives and dies, and Bellamy knows all about that. 

The next morning, Bellamy wakes to Madi and Clarke getting ready to go back to their old Village to start working with Jackson and Abby to try and heal those in Eligius. He also wakes up to the sound of people moving around outside and the even more distant noises of trees falling. 

"Do you want to come with us?" Clarke asks quietly, re-braiding Madi's hair. 

Bellamy shakes his head. "No, I'm going to stay here and help everyone start building. Octavia will eventually make some plans, and I want to make sure she doesn't do anything crazy." 

Clarke snorts. "Good luck." 

"She's...getting better," Bellamy mumbles, making a face at Clarke when she arches an eyebrow. "Hey, she hasn't killed anyone, so that's a win in my book. The one who will need luck is you." 

"My mom and Jackson are good at what they do," Clarke says softly. "We'll be fine." 

"And you, Madi, what are your plans for today?" Bellamy asks in amusement. 

Madi, who is nodding off as Clarke does her hair, snorts and jerks awake. "Huh? Oh, invade the hearts of the Eligius people so they'll start to like all of us more, that way we can all be true allies." 

"Oh, is that what you're doing?" Bellamy arches an eyebrow, biting back a grin. "I thought you were just getting in good with Diyoza." 

"That, too." Madi smiles at him crookedly. "Can't hurt to make everyone like me." 

"Well, you're good at that, kiddo," Bellamy says fondly. He glances over at Clarke, sharing a grin with her. "When will you all be back?" 

"We're taking the Rover, so probably a little bit before dark," Clarke muses. "Save us dinner?" 

"Will do," Bellamy agrees. 

Once they're ready, they all step outside. This house doesn't have a porch, so Bellamy fully intends on adding one, and maybe a separate room for Madi, too. She's getting older, so she'll eventually want her privacy. As much as it pains him to think about her growing up, he plans to make sure she has as good of a childhood as she can. 

People are already moving around outside, hauling around logs on their shoulders, gathering food and resources. Octavia is wide awake and in full gear, walking around and overseeing everything, barking out orders that people follow without protest. Indra and Gaia flank her, and Bellamy's stomach drops when his eyes land on Gaia. 

"We'll talk when we get home," Clarke murmurs in his ear, and he nods. She kisses his cheek, then cups his jaw, making him look at her dead-on. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do." 

"That leaves me a lot of options," Bellamy murmurs. 

Clarke huffs a small laugh. "Okay, don't do anything you wouldn't  _ want  _ me to do. How about that?" 

"It narrows things down a bit." Bellamy searches her gaze, the softness of her blue eyes making his heart swell. "Be safe." 

"I will," Clarke assures him. 

For a split second, the whole world seems to melt away, and Bellamy is entirely taken over with tunnel-vision. He can only focus on the urge to kiss her, and he's powerless to stop it. Dipping his head, he catches her lips with his own, relaxing into it immediately. It helps ease some of the rising stress that's been taking root from the moment he woke up. Her hand lightly caresses his jaw and neck, lips parting so he can deepen the kiss, and he sighs happily as he draws her closer. 

"Hey, lovebirds!" 

Bellamy pulls away with a groan. "These assholes. Why did we ever want them to come down from Space again?" 

Clarke chuckles and pecks him on the mouth quickly before pulling away. "It's like Octavia said, Bellamy. We're very stupid." 

Madi laughs outright, and Bellamy throws her a glare that lacks heat. They all watch as Emori and Murphy come walking over from Raven's home that's across the Village. They're not too far off now, and Bellamy shoots Murphy the middle finger when Clarke and Madi aren't looking, but that just makes Murphy  _ and  _ Emori smirk smugly. 

"Sorry to interrupt the lovefest," Murphy says, sounding anything but apologetic, "but we're coming with you today, Clarke." 

Clarke frowns. "Why?" 

"Well, Diyoza mentioned some machinery that they've been using, and Raven originally wanted to go, but Octavia asked her to stay here and help make plans to build things we'll eventually need here." Emori shrugs and gestures to herself. "I'm the next best thing. Raven taught me a lot these last few years, so she trusts me to gather what information I can since Diyoza is just offering." 

"Okay, that's smart," Clarke allows, dipping her head. She turns her gaze to Murphy, raising an eyebrow doubtfully. "And why are you coming?" 

"I go where she goes, usually." Murphy raises his eyebrows and cocks his head, clearly not budging on this. "Plus, I can help." 

Emori immediately shakes her head. "No, he can't. Make him stay here. I've been arguing with him all morning. He should stay behind and help build." 

"That sounds like a whole lot of effort that I'm not really eager to put in," Murphy says with a lazy flap of his hand. 

"You're staying," Clarke says simply. She focuses on Emori. "Do you have everything you need?" 

Emori nods, but Murphy heaves a sigh and looks at Bellamy. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" 

"Um." Bellamy looks over at Clarke, Madi, and Emori. They're all staring at him with identical expressions that blatantly scream  _ do it, make that mistake, I dare you.  _ Well, he's always been a fan of challenges. "Sure." 

"Ooooooh," Madi whispers under her breath, "he's going to be in trouble." 

Bellamy ignores her and follows Murphy further away from them, glancing over his shoulder to see Emori and Clarke watching them with narrowed eyes. He snaps his head back around and doesn't look behind him again. 

Once Murphy decides they're far enough away, he whirls around and says, "Look, I know they're all capable of taking care of themselves, but they're all going to be focused on tasks. They'll be distracted. If things go wrong, there should be someone there who is specifically watching out for them. I have the perfect cover. I'm Emori's clingy, asshole boyfriend. Fine, whatever. But, if it comes to it, I'll be the clingy, asshole boyfriend with a gun." 

"The point is to  _ not  _ start a war, Murphy," Bellamy mutters, heaving a sigh. 

"And I  _ won't,"  _ Murphy insists. "Just, if something happens, I'll watch after them. All of them. Can you honestly say you trust anyone else there besides Diyoza and Shaw right now?" 

Bellamy wavers, pressing his lips into a thin line as he considers Murphy's words. "I…" 

"I'll watch after Madi, too," Murphy adds. 

That pretty much seals the deal. "Fine," Bellamy agrees tersely, "but don't go pissing anyone off. Just keep your head down and check on everyone in rotation. Help if someone needs it, even the Eligius crew. We need to be allies, Murphy." 

Murphy holds his hands up in surrender, smirking a little. "Hey, you know me. I'm a peacekeeper, haven't you heard? I'll be on my best behavior." 

Bellamy just sends him a flat look, but he nods. Murphy deserves a little bit of trust, if nothing else, and Bellamy knows for a fact that he'll never put Emori in any danger. So, this will have to be another leap of faith, and after everything, maybe Murphy has earned that, at least. 

It's just...not going to go over well. 

"Murphy is going," Bellamy declares as soon as they walk back over. As expected, that doesn't go over well. Clarke and Emori start to protest, but he cuts them off. "He will be there, end of discussion. He's going, even if I have to drive everyone myself." 

"Give us a reason  _ why,"  _ Clarke says stubbornly. 

Bellamy just stares at her. "No." 

"This is like the good ol' days," Murphy teases, looking at Madi. "They used to bicker and bump heads all the time." 

Madi raises both eyebrows. "Used to? They never  _ stopped,"  _ she mutters. 

"You're being difficult on purpose," Clarke snaps. 

"Yes," Bellamy admits, shrugging. "Just go. I'll explain later, okay?" 

Clarke squints at him, and he thinks she won't give in for a long moment, but she does. "Fine, Murphy can come. That's subject to change, though."

"Mhm, sure," Bellamy murmurs, leaning forward to peck her on the lips. "See you later. I love you." 

"Love you, too," Clarke grumbles, rolling her eyes. 

Bellamy chuckles and turns to Madi, bending down to press a quick kiss to her head. "Love you, kiddo." 

"Yep, love you, too." Madi quickly gives him a hug, then starts back away. "Can we go now?" 

With that, everyone chuckling, Bellamy watches them head towards the Rover. For a long moment, he stares after them with his smile slipping off his face. He doesn't like being separated from anyone, especially Clarke and Madi. It ruffles up concern within him, putting him on edge. 

Bellamy sighs when the Rover drives away. 

* * *

Building is hard, yet rewarding work. 

It's a lot easier to do in groups of people. Everyone gets to work, all eight hundred of them, including Octavia. They work as one, they take breaks as one, and they have a synchronization that would blow Bellamy's mind if he didn't recognize it. Octavia orders people in Wonkru to do their tasks the same way Bellamy ordered the original hundred. He honestly hadn't realized that she'd paid attention. 

They're not building any houses to start with. The first thing Octavia wants is posted towers at every corner of their new home, along with a wall. Essentially, it's a stronghold before it's a home. Bellamy doesn't necessarily agree, but he doesn't protest either. He just lets Octavia assign him to help build the first tower, then gets to work. 

He's sweating an hour into it, his hair dripping, perspiration getting into his eyes and running down his nose. His shirt is soaked through, and he feels damp in places he'd much rather not. But he has his canteen to stay hydrated and getting to know the small squad of Wonkru that he's working with isn't actually all that terrible. 

He doesn't really know what he was expecting. He doesn't recognize most of them, and he has no idea what clan they were a part of before, or even if they were Grounders to begin with. Some are older, some are younger, some are men, and some are women, but they're all hard-working. The only one Bellamy  _ does  _ recognize is Ethan, who piques his interest. 

It baffles him that Octavia has a kid that she looks out for. He doesn't know if it's the same relationship he has with Madi, or something else entirely, but Bellamy finds himself a little bothered that Octavia never told him. It only irks him more when he catches Octavia randomly walking by with Gaia just to check on Ethan, not saying anything, only walking by to make sure he's...what, working? 

Bellamy waits until the first tower is halfway built—as is the rest of the towers and the wall—and Octavia calls for a quick break. 

"Hey," Bellamy murmurs, walking over to Ethan with a kind smile. "Ethan, right?" 

Ethan swallows his water and pulls his canteen away from his mouth, slowly nodding. "Yeah. You're, uh, Bellamy. Madi's dad and Octavia's brother." 

"Yeah," Bellamy confirms, his heart swelling in his chest. "How do you like the new Village so far?" 

"It's nice. Pretty big. Easy to defend." 

"Well, that's true. Are you hoping for anything in the future? A school, maybe?" 

"A place to train," Ethan says immediately. "Some of the people in Wonkru used to joke that they could build wooden enemies for us to train with. That, and a Blacksmith for better weapons." 

Bellamy blinks. "Oh. You want to become a soldier."

Ethan nods. "I want to be like Miller." 

"I see," Bellamy murmurs. "What about...just hanging out? You know, things to do that aren't fighting or training." 

"I don't know." 

"This place is going to be home. A place of peace. Being prepared to fight is fine, but you should get some time to relax, too. Don't you think?" 

"I guess." Ethan shrugs his shoulders and his face twists a little. "You sound like Madi. Well, I mean, that makes sense because she's your daughter." 

Bellamy's lips twitch, a little spark of pride lighting up in his chest. "We tried to keep an easy balance for her. Training  _ and  _ fun. You get that chance now." 

"Indra seems to think that, too." 

"And Octavia?" 

"Octavia doesn't tell me stuff like that," Ethan murmurs, frowning slightly. "She just...watches out for me, I guess." 

"Can I ask...why?" Bellamy replies cautiously. 

Ethan sighs. "When my dad died, Uncle Jaha took me in. When  _ he  _ died, he made Octavia promise to look out for me, so she does. Sort of." 

"Jaha," Bellamy whispers. "I knew him. He...um, he had a good heart." 

"I know that," Ethan says, almost defensively. 

Bellamy nods. "So, if Octavia doesn't talk to you about the future, what does she talk to you about?" 

"Training stuff," Ethan replies easily, perking up. "Sometimes, when she was in a good mood, she'd tell me stories about the past. She told me about you. About how you infiltrated Mount Weather from the inside and helped defeat the enemies." 

"Did she?" Bellamy says softly, swallowing thickly. He looks around, trying to see if he can find his sister. He can't. "Well, I had help. That was a long time ago, though, and things are better now. No enemies to worry about anymore." 

"For now," Ethan tells him, looking strangely serious for a twelve year old boy. "We need to be prepared in case that changes." 

"Octavia tell you that?" 

"No. She didn't have to. We all know that." 

"You'll try to have some...fun, though, right?" Bellamy insists, frowning harder. "Maybe not at first, but soon." 

Ethan shrugs again. "I guess. Madi thinks I should go travelling with her when we're officially allowed out of the Village. She wants to teach me how to fish and climb trees." 

"I'm sure she does," Bellamy says, amused. "I think that would be a good idea." 

"Alright, everyone!" Octavia calls out, climbing on top of a stack of logs, looking around at everyone. "Time to get back to work!" 

Just like that, the short break is over, and Ethan immediately moves over to get back to building, as does everyone else in Wonkru. Bellamy sighs and heads back over, sharing a nod with an older man with hard, green eyes. 

They get back to work. 

* * *

When the four towers are officially built and the wall that connects them as the perimeter gets reinforced, Octavia calls for lunch. While most of everyone was ordered to build, a few different hunting and gathering parties were sent out to get enough food for everyone, which is no easy task. 

Octavia goes into her home to eat and plan what projects to start on next, and Bellamy shamelessly heads in that direction. In passing, he sees Raven and Echo eating together, sitting on the ground and talking amongst themselves. He derails to move over to them, smiling as he approaches. 

"Working hard, or hardly working?" Bellamy asks, tossing some venus berries in his mouth. He's so glad they're in season this year. 

Raven rolls her eyes. "Getting it done. I saw you sweating your ass off while working on tower one. It looks good." 

"Eh, it was a group effort." Bellamy pauses to sit down in the dirt beside Raven with a sigh of relief, his muscles aching. "Miller already dispatched people up there to cut away a hatch for a cache of weapons and a little place to duck for cover while still having a clear shot. Gotta say, if there was a need for it, that would be really smart." 

"Miller's no idiot. We both know that," Raven says easily, lips twitching. "You know he got permission from Octavia to ask Echo if she'd go into rotation for the guardtowers." 

Bellamy's eyebrows jump as he looks over at Echo in surprise. "Really?" 

"Yes," Echo admits. "He said he remembers that I had very good aim. Octavia said that if I'm going to act as an ally, then I can prove it." 

"You agreed?" Bellamy asks. 

Echo arches an eyebrow. "Refusing wouldn't look too good, would it? I don't mind. I do have good aim, and I prefer to have something to do." 

"It's progress, right?" Raven checks. 

Bellamy nods. "I think so. At least she doesn't want you dead anymore, Echo." 

"Thank you," Echo says slowly, almost woodenly, as if the words are hard to say. "You and Clarke. You saved my life before." 

"We all deserve a second chance," Bellamy says simply, offering her a kind smile. "Besides, you're important to the people who are important to me, which means you're important to me, too." 

Echo stands up swiftly. "My rotation begins soon. I'll find you later, Raven." 

"Have fun!" Raven calls after her with a snort, waving in amusement as Echo speedwalks away. She looks over at Bellamy with a wry grin. "She's kind of like a turtle with an extremely thick shell, but once you get through all that, she's soft in the middle. She's still working on accepting compliments." 

"I can see that," Bellamy says, amused. He reaches out and taps Raven's brace. "I caught you building. How are you feeling?" 

"Eh, a couple extra breaks in between helps. No one said anything about it." Raven shrugs and smacks her leg with a grimace. "It's a bitch, but I'm dealing with it like always. Lucky for Octavia, it's not my ability to walk around that's useful. I've spent more time making plans for things than building." 

Bellamy nods. "Like what?" 

"Layouts for Blacksmith areas. Huts for stocking up food. Smelters, ovens, maybe some showers and toilets. Useful shit like that. Things that have to do with engineering more than just building." 

"Yeah, yeah, I hear you. I imagine we'll work on things like that after we build more shelter." 

"Probably," Raven agrees. "Monty's been assigned to make the plans for the farm. He's over the moon." 

"I'm sure he is," Bellamy mutters, smirking. 

Raven snorts. "It's going to take time, but we'll have this place up and running eventually. If this is going to be our forever home, it needs to be functional." 

"Hey, it will be, especially with your marvelous brain behind it all," Bellamy tells her with a wink. 

"Oh man, I've missed you and Clarke  _ loads,"  _ Raven says with a happy sigh. "None of those other assholes complimented me. Echo's about as good as giving them as she is receiving them, Emori and Murphy are little shits, and Monty and Harper were too busy being smart with the algae farm to tell me I'm a genius. I mean, I  _ know,  _ but still." 

"Well, you know Clarke and I will make up for it," Bellamy teases. "You're smarter than everyone. We've been telling you this for years." 

"Yeah, that's the good stuff," Raven jokes, wrinkling her nose around a grin. 

Bellamy taps her leg and snorts, pushing to his feet with a small smile. "Alright, let me go see what my sister is planning to do next." 

"Have fun with that one." Raven raises her eyebrows and makes a face. "Try not to die." 

Bellamy just rolls his eyes and waves her off, heading in the direction of Octavia's new home. He passes a few people in Wonkru who actually greet him, some who he's worked with all morning, some who he recognizes from the Ark. He greets them all in turn, strangely appeased by the feeling of community here. Despite everything, it does feel a little more relaxed here with just them. 

He also passes Ethan, who is following Miller and Gaia around. His back is straight like he's trying to seem taller, and Bellamy can't help but be slightly concerned about that. It's not necessarily a bad thing that the children of Wonkru have taken a special interest in fighting and training, or it wouldn't be if that's not all they grew up knowing. They shouldn't feel like they  _ have  _ to fight, but it's all they know, and that is terribly tragic. 

Madi could be good for Ethan. If anything, she'll show him that there is more to life than war and death. It makes Bellamy feel a lot better about how he and Clarke raised her. 

Stepping up to Octavia's hut, he can see that Cooper is posted at the door, her back ramrod straight, eyes intense as she stares around. He doesn't really  _ know  _ her, not exactly, but he knows she's one from the Ark. To see her like this, dressed and acting this way, it baffles him a bit. Her devotion to Octavia is borderline worrisome, but she doesn't seem like she wants to be doing anything else. Hopefully, with time, she will come into herself more. 

For now, he just needs to get past her. 

"I'm here to see my sister," Bellamy tells her, offering her a kind smile. "She's eating, right?" 

Cooper stares at him.  _ "Blodreina  _ isn't seeing anyone right now." 

Before Bellamy can so much as protest, the door opens and Octavia sticks her head out, her eyes cold as she looks at Cooper. "Anyone doesn't include my brother or my niece unless I say otherwise, Cooper. And I've told you to stop calling me that." 

"Yes, of course, Bl—Octavia," Cooper says, immediately stepping aside while ducking her head. 

Bellamy steps inside, looking around in faint surprise. Octavia clearly has been busy, and it leaves him to wonder when she sleeps, if she does. 

There's a table in the center of the room that's covered in papers with what appears to be mapped out drawings of plans for the Village. Her bed is made up nice and neat, no creases, looking untouched. The entire place has been cleaned like Octavia took the time to actually wipe away the dust and pack away the previous owner's things, leaving the place bare and strangely pristine. There's also a stack of trinkets and clothes that he knows for a fact the people of Wonkru have been presenting to her as a thank you for leading them to freedom. A couple of radios sit on the table, and what must have been a parting gift from Diyoza is also present—a bottle of liquor that's actually missing half of its contents. 

"Having trouble integrating from  _ Blodreina  _ to just Octavia?" Bellamy asks lightly, leaning up against the table as Octavia sits down and starts finishing the rest of her dinner—fish and fruit. 

Octavia sighs, swallowing her bite. "They're trying. It's hard to kick the habit. I almost want to keep the title, but...Indra has advised against it." 

Bellamy nods, understanding instantly. "It's just a reminder of the past that we're all trying to leave behind." 

"Yeah, that's what she said, too." 

"How are  _ you  _ feeling?" 

"Prepared," Octavia answers promptly. "We have the towers and the walls, which we will reinforce with time. We'll begin making weapons to—" 

"O," Bellamy cuts in softly, "I'm not asking about how the Village is. I'm asking how  _ you  _ are. You're more than your leadership, you know." 

Octavia quirks an eyebrow, even as she shovels more food in her mouth to—he assumes—avoid answering him. He waits. Eventually, she swallows and meets his gaze as she says, "I have a role here just like everyone else, Bell. Nothing else matters." 

"Maybe not to them, but I'm not them," Bellamy tells her. "Just...talk to me. I don't know. Talk about anything  _ else,  _ at least for a minute, even if it's just saying that you stubbed your toe or something." 

"I…" Octavia pauses, pursing her lips as she looks down at her food. After a beat, she looks back up and sighs. "I read some of my book." 

Bellamy's heart jumps and he clears his throat, shifting awkwardly. "Did you? Was it… I mean, how do you feel about it?" 

Octavia's lips twitch. "Relax, Bell, you're a good writer. It's a bit strange to read about myself through your eyes, but you were surprisingly unbiased throughout. You didn't once say I was a rebellious little girl who got into trouble when she shouldn't. I was expecting it." 

"That's—I wouldn't say that, not after everything." Bellamy shakes his head fondly. "No, I didn't always understand you or why you felt the way you did about certain things, but I  _ couldn't,  _ not when I was clouded with the need to protect you. I should have been better, supported you instead of trying to control you just for my peace of mind." 

"You did what you could, Bell. We all did. Things got fucked up, then kept getting even more fucked up. We all changed, some for the better...some for the worse." 

"I should have looked at you as more than my responsibility. Maybe I could have—" 

"Stop." Octavia sits her food aside and leans back in her chair, shaking her head. "I don't want to talk about this anymore. The book was good." 

Bellamy sighs. "Thanks." 

"Now, have you heard anything from the others at the Eligius Village?" 

"No, but I didn't expect to. They're busy." 

Octavia nods. "I spoke with Diyoza and she assured me that everyone is hard at work. Apparently, Murphy is helping some of the Eligius people with their projects. She thanked me for sending him. Know anything about that?" 

"I...do," Bellamy says slowly, a pulse of pleased gratitude passing through him at the thought of Murphy actually doing the right thing for once. "I sent him along with the others just for an extra pair of hands and eyes, told him if he wasn't needed to help our neighbors if they did. We're allies, remember? It's a good thing, O."

"What are you doing?" Octavia cocks her head, her eyes narrowing as she stares at him. 

Bellamy blinks. "What do you mean?" 

"You're  _ doing  _ something, Bellamy. You and your friends. What is it?" 

"We're just trying to help." 

"By doing  _ what?"  _ Octavia snaps. 

"By helping," Bellamy retorts just as harshly. He heaves a sigh. "Dammit, O, we're just trying to keep the peace and make sure it holds, that's  _ all.  _ We want a better life for everyone. Is that so wrong?" 

"No," Octavia says sharply, "it's not wrong. What is  _ wrong  _ is that you didn't notify me." 

"We're not all Wonkru, Octavia. We're allies." 

"Yes, but you are under my protection. I don't need to know to keep everyone controlled, I need to know so that I won't be blindsided if anything goes wrong. I don't care  _ what  _ you and your friends are doing as long as it's not affecting Wonkru negatively, but I do need to be aware of it.  _ That's  _ what leaders do, and you should know that better than anyone." 

Bellamy frowns. "I… Okay, that's fair. Fine, sorry. You're  _ right,"  _ he mutters, rolling his eyes. 

Octavia's lips quirk again briefly. "That pained you to say, didn't it?" 

"Yeah, a bit," Bellamy agrees with a grin, his face softening. "Seriously, I didn't think of it like that. If I send anyone extra anywhere, then I'll let you know. I'll make sure to let Murphy know you were deeply concerned for him." 

"Don't you dare," Octavia says flatly. 

Bellamy chuckles and glances over at the papers on the table. "So, houses next? After the lunch break?" 

"Some, but not all. Raven actually suggested that we build long houses to start with, so that a lot of people can pile into with cots and things, at least until we can get a house for everyone." Octavia frowns and stands, walking over to the table to shift papers aside with a furrow in her brow. "It's going to be hundreds of houses, Bell. Over five hundred." 

"We have the room for it?" 

"Barely. Some sections will be vulnerable to attack, especially the outer areas. The most essential people will need to be in the center." 

"Can we push the perimeter at all?" 

"We could, but it will bring us closer to the river, leaving us more open to any enemies." 

"O," Bellamy says gently, "I don't really think that we're going to be attacked." 

"You don't  _ think,"  _ Octavia snaps, glaring at him without any hesitation. "That's not enough for me. It will be tight, some will be vulnerable, but I'm not pushing the perimeter." 

Bellamy purses his lips. "What about...tree houses?"

Octavia blinks, staring at him. "What?" 

"Madi actually came up with the idea. She used to ask us if we could build a house in the trees and live there instead, but Clarke and I were fine where we were. But, I mean, it would clear up a lot of space on the ground, plus it will provide cover farther out. Push the perimeter to  _ include  _ more forest area, then have posts in the trees, too." 

"It'll take longer to build than houses on the ground." 

"Yes, but it will be easier to defend as well. Less vulnerability if whatever enemy you think will come doesn't realize there are people above them. Just like Madi says, no one thinks to look up." Bellamy chuckles and smirks. "Could be a good alarm system, too, provided you give those in the tree radios to let people know if anyone approaches." 

Octavia narrows her eyes, but she seems to be genuinely considering it. "Okay, say that I approve this after discussing with some others. Do you and Clarke plan to take a treehouse?" 

"Madi will definitely want one, but if you think it's smarter that we stay central, then we will," Bellamy says indulgently. 

"Fine," Octavia says finally. "I'll discuss it with others. For now, we'll start on the first sets of houses and long houses, as well as the Blacksmith hut and the food hut. Over time, we'll make more, but one of each right now will have to do. I plan to dispatch a group to assist Raven in hopefully beginning an irrigation system today as well." 

Bellamy nods approvingly. "All good things. Have you given any thought to a school?" 

"Not a priority." 

"Not even for Ethan?" 

Octavia pauses and looks at him. "Ethan is no concern of mine right now, Bellamy." 

"You promised Jaha you'd watch after him," Bellamy challenges, raising his eyebrows. "You let him sleep in this house with you and Indra." 

"Okay. And?" 

"And I'm just wondering if you...you know. Do you feel any kind of motherly bond to him or…?" 

"No," Octavia says simply, frowning. "He is a child, one who I mentor sometimes, though Gaia mostly handles the children. I look after Ethan because I keep my promises. Nothing motherly about it." 

"So, you feel obligated?" 

"I don't feel obligated to do anything. I just do what needs to be done." 

"And he needs to be protected and looked after." 

"Yes." 

"So, he should get a peaceful life and childhood?" Bellamy asks, leaning forward. 

_ "Yes,"  _ Octavia grits out. "What is this about?" 

Bellamy sighs. "Look, these kids are… They have been through some hard shit, just like all of us. No, we didn't get a chance at a good life, not even on the Ark, not really. But  _ they  _ have a chance, and we should encourage it. Let them be kids, you know? Do more than just train. Learn to have fun, learn at  _ actual  _ lessons, learn peace." 

"I'm not arguing that," Octavia says slowly. "I'm just saying that building a school can't be first." 

"No, I get that, but...maybe you can convince the kids to relax a little?" Bellamy suggests. "They just seem so rigid and ready for fighting. Let them take the afternoon off and...I don't know. Assign an adult to tell them  _ nice  _ stories or some shit." 

Octavia arches an eyebrow. "You want me to run a daycare in the middle of building a Village?" 

"Sort of? I don't know, O, I just want better for them, you know?" Bellamy mutters.

"I know." Octavia sighs and looks down at her hands, tracing the scars on her fingers. After a while, she looks up and swallows. "Kane is good with the children, but I don't trust him." 

"Okay, so assign a couple of others to be there to make sure he isn't doing whatever it is you're worried he'll do." 

"Ryli is a good singer. Verio is good on drums. They're also good with blades. They'll be able to entertain the children and keep Kane in check. Does that appease you, big brother?" 

Bellamy rolls his eyes at Octavia's mocking tone, huffing a little. "Yes, actually, it does." 

Octavia sighs and walks over to the door, poking her head out to speak with Cooper again, then she closes the door and walks back over to resume eating her dinner. He leaves her to it, casually pushing away from the table to walk around the house and poke around in the cabinets. Everything is empty but clean, and it gives him something to do while his sister eats. 

He doesn't find much to look at, but he knows better than anyone what time will bring. Over the following years, everyone will accumulate things. Possessions, trinkets, just...stuff. In a lot of ways, it's the little things that don't really seem to hold weight that makes a home. It's more than just a place to lay your head, Bellamy's learned. 

After years of not really having  _ things,  _ he finally gained them in the Valley over the previous six years, or he made them. To have to pack it all up or leave some of it behind had been upsetting, but Clarke and Madi are his true home. Wherever they are is where he belongs, as well as Octavia and the people he calls family. He knows that six more years will provide him with more things and more peace, and he hopes it will be the same for Octavia. 

"Can I ask you something?" Octavia murmurs. 

Bellamy turns around from the cabinets and walks over, glancing to see that Octavia has finished her dinner. "Yeah, of course." 

"What would you have done if I refused to come?" Octavia asks quietly, holding his gaze. "If I hadn't been able to let go of war?" 

"O," Bellamy croaks, his throat tightening immediately. He knows what the answer is, but he doesn't want to admit it out loud. It pains him to know what he would have done, more than he can say. She just stares at him, waiting, and he knows she needs to hear it. So, he takes a deep breath and doesn't look away as he rasps, "I would have left you and your people behind." 

"Would you still?" 

"Would you give me a reason to?" 

Octavia looks away, her face eerily blank. For a long moment, she says nothing, just stares off into space. Then she whispers, "I have hope. I believe things will get better." 

It looks like it pains her to say, her face contorting briefly, but then it almost seems to bring her a small bit of comfort. Her eyes close and she breathes, some of the tension bleeding out of her frame, just a bit to be noticeable. His heart strains towards her, and he wants to take away every ounce of pain that exists within her now, but he knows he can't. He can only watch her overcome it. She will. He knows that.

"Things  _ will  _ get better," Bellamy says softly. "They already are. O, so are  _ you.  _ I'm watching you get better every single day, and I'm so proud of you. I wish you didn't have to lead, that this wasn't your burden to bear, but I know you're going to do it right. And I'll help you. We'll all help you." 

"Indra says that time is an offer of change, and that all change is molded by our choices," Octavia tells him gravely. "If I make the wrong choice, the wrong change will come about. Time isn't a chance for me, Bell, it's a prison sentence. I  _ have  _ to get this right, because if I don't, I will shape the future into something I can't take back." 

Bellamy slowly moves over to kneel in front of her, reaching out to grab her hand. "We've all made choices that led us here, O. I think, in some ways, that this world has muddled what wrong and right really means, so let's stop trying to figure that out. Why don't we just focus on being  _ better  _ every single day? Maybe we'll fumble, but we'll keep trying. The change that will come from that isn't something you'll need to take back." 

"I'm trying," Octavia rasps hoarsely. 

Bellamy squeezes her hand. "I know." 

A sudden knock at the door steals their attention, and Octavia pulls her hand free from his grasp. He offers a small smile as he stands, and though she doesn't smile back, he can tell that her eyes soften. She stands up beside him as Cooper opens the door and leads Kane in along with two Wonkru people. 

"Octavia," Cooper murmurs, dipping her head respectfully before heading back outside to post at the door, leaving the others behind. 

Kane tilts his chin up. "You requested me?" 

"Yes," Octavia murmurs. "Ryli, Verio, I'm assigning you a new task. You're to go with Kane and assist him in...entertaining the children. They're going to relax for the rest of the day after working hard since morning. Tell them stories, provide them music, whatever you wish as long as it's relaxing." 

"Yes, Octavia," the Wonkru woman and man say in unison, nodding. 

"You, Kane, are to make sure they actually have fun," Bellamy says with an arched eyebrow. "Let them be kids for a while, I mean." 

"You will  _ not  _ taint them with any negative comments about Wonkru," Octavia says fiercely, staring at Kane coldly. "You are kind with them, and I want you to be once again. If you say one word against them or our people or  _ me,  _ Ryli and Verio will bring you straight to me so that I may deal with you. Remember, you are either Wonkru or an ally of Wonkru; to slander us is to be our enemy, and I will punish you for it. Do you understand?" 

Kane looks faintly surprised. "You wish for me to aid the children in...taking a break?" 

"Pretty much," Bellamy answers for Octavia. "Will you do it or not?" 

"Yes, I will do it," Kane mumbles, looking a little mystified. His gaze turns to Octavia. "This is… It's a good thing, Octavia. They deserve to—" 

"That will be all," Octavia interrupts, waving a hand flippantly. "Go now. Don't let Kane out of your sights, Ryli and Verio." 

With that, Verio and Ryli—Bellamy doesn't actually know which is which—head for the door, ushering Kane with them. They leave without further comment, and Bellamy can't help but be slightly pleased that the kids are actually going to get a chance to just be kids. Now he just has to convince Octavia to make it a regular thing. 

"So," Bellamy murmurs, "what about tomorrow? If the kids can take a break every—" 

"Yes, I already planned to do that," Octavia cuts him off with a sigh. "Don't worry about the children. I may be a monster, but I'm not  _ that  _ terrible. Now, shut up about it and let's get back to work." 

As Octavia marches outside to call off the lunch break, Bellamy follows behind her with a small smile, a small burst of pride pulsing in his heart. 

* * *

The building ends when the sun starts to set and dinner is nearly finished. Octavia calls everyone off and tells them to get good rest before they'll have to start again the next day. No one complains, and a good portion of people go to the rushing river to get cleaned up, including Bellamy. 

By the time he gets back to the Village, Dinner is being served. A few groups actually managed to get some of those rabbit-squirrels, and there's plenty of fish to be cooked, as well as fruit to be eaten. Sending over fifty people to fish and over thirty to gather fruit and over ten to hunt has turned out to be a  _ really  _ good idea. People have to resort to eating off leaves or pieces of cloth or paper because there aren't enough wooden dishes to go around, but there's a lot of talk about people starting on tasks to make more little accommodations in their free time. Not necessarily things for  _ survival,  _ but things that will make life a little easier. 

It lifts Bellamy's spirits a lot to see how people are planning to put down roots and make this a community. There are already people sitting around fires that are carving wood or starting on clothes and blankets. So far today, with the help of over five hundred people, they have all towers up and all walls reinforced with a gate almost finished, as well as a long house that can take in at least a hundred people. They'll be very cramped, but people don't really seem to care about that. At least they won't be sleeping on the ground. 

Bellamy is famished and very ready to eat, so his mood only climbs when he hears the distant rumble of the Rover and catches a brief flash of headlights as it pulls closer to the Village. He's on his feet in a flash, heading that way without hesitation. 

The moment Clarke slides out of the Rover, his lips curl up. Relief slams into him despite the fact that he never really expected anything to go wrong, not with Diyoza checking in with Octavia. Still, seeing her shut the door as she turns around reminds him how much he's actually missed her today. It's weird because he's used to spending all his time with her, and he's just spent all day without that. His heart pangs with the strangest yearning that he's ever felt. Though he  _ knows  _ she left to do what had to be done, he can't help but mourn the hours they spent apart. 

"Bellamy!" Madi screeches, bursting forth from behind Jackson and Emori, nearly pushing them over to come bounding up to him. "Guess what? Shaw made me a flower crown today, but I lost it when Diyoza was teaching me how to track, and he said he'd make me a new one tomorrow. He also taught me a dance from hundreds of years ago called the Macarena, and Diyoza showed me how fast she can take apart her gun and put it back together. Oh, and they took me on the ship to show me all the controls and let me look in the cryo pods. Did you know that Diyoza has been pregnant for longer than anyone  _ ever,  _ and that—" 

"Madi," Bellamy interrupts with a small laugh, watching her snap her mouth shut. "Breathe, kiddo,  _ breathe.  _ You have plenty of time to tell me all about your day, okay? Start with the flower crown." 

Madi smiles brightly. "Right, okay. So, Shaw told me he knew how to make flower crowns, and I asked him to make me one. It was really pretty. He had to measure my head, but Clarke said that the flowers matched my eyes and would look really good with my dress. But then, Diyoza said that she was good at tracking, so I asked her to show me  _ how  _ good. When she was showing me—and she's good—I lost my flower crown without noticing, so I was pretty upset, but Shaw promised to make me another one."

"And you learned a dance?" 

"Yep. The Macarena. Well, Shaw only knew it paired with the months, but I can show it to you. It's just moving your arms, really. Diyoza said it wasn't really that impressive, then showed me how fast she can put her gun back together. Shaw timed her and Garret, but she beat him by  _ a lot."  _

"I bet she did. And you can show me the dance later. Also, yes, I do know that Diyoza has been pregnant longer than anyone else, technically," Bellamy tells her with an amused smile. "What else?" 

Madi shrugs, apparently appeased now that they've had a conversation. "The cryo pods were cool. They let me lay down in one and Murphy hovered. He kept joking that he wanted to take a nap for a hundred years, but no one listened." 

"A shame, too," Murphy mutters as he walks over with the others, smirking. "I definitely deserve a hundred year nap." 

"Can I go tell Aunty O about my day?" Madi asks Bellamy, blinking up at him. "I heard her talking to Diyoza over the radio a couple of times." 

Bellamy jerks his head with a grin. "Yeah, go for it. She should be helping serve dinner. Make sure to get yourself some, okay?" 

"Will do," Madi says easily, already hurrying in the direction of the food. 

"It looks like you all got a lot done," Emori murmurs, looking around at everything. "Even the gate is almost ready." 

"Yeah," Bellamy says with a sigh, "we've been busy."

Murphy clicks his tongue. "Glad I missed that. Come on, Emori, let's go eat." 

Emori rolls her eyes, but she walks away with Murphy without another word. Bellamy looks after them for a moment, watching them head in the direction of Raven, Echo, Monty, and Harper. He catches sight of Octavia looking absolutely bombarded by Madi, who is clearly talking as rapidly as she can. He smirks and looks towards Clarke, who's staring out at everyone as well. 

"Long day?" Bellamy asks softly. 

Clarke glances at him, her gaze warmer as soon as she lays eyes on him. "The longest. Mom is getting better slowly. She's okay enough that she can help look for a solution with the Eligius people. We need to find one soon because they're getting sicker. They've provided us with files on the patients, so we know what's wrong. We just don't know how to fix it yet. Jackson and my mom have a few ideas." 

"How long do you think they have?" 

"A week? Two, maybe? The disease is spreading every day. People will start dying soon."

"You'll figure it out, all of you." Bellamy walks up to her and kisses her forehead, easing one arm around her waist. "It's only day one." 

"I know." Clarke sighs and melts into him, tilting her head back to smile at him faintly. "How was your day? You look a little exhausted." 

"Like I said, we've been busy. If you walk with me, I'll tell you all about it and we can discuss our other issue. Better offer?" 

"Yeah, let's do that." 

Bellamy kisses her forehead one more time, then throws his arm over her shoulder as her arm slides around his waist. Leaning into each other, they head towards the half-built gate, nodding to Niylah who's at the top of the closest tower. 

As they walk, they quietly talk about their day. Bellamy explains about Ethan, tells Clarke about Echo, shares Raven's ideas, and even brags a little about getting the kids some days off. Clarke talks about her day, about how her mother is slowly healing, about how many ideas Jackson has, about how many times Murphy stopped by just to check in on them and offer some snark and help before leaving. They walk around the perimeter and then break off to walk into the trees, which is when Bellamy remembers that Octavia  _ might  _ agree to tree houses, which sets off a new conversation. 

They walk and they talk, and Bellamy feels fully at ease for the first time all day. He brushes his fingers over the soft skin of her arm until they trail off into silence, then he shifts so that he can touch her more. 

"About Gaia," Bellamy murmurs, turning to face her with a sigh, his lips tipping down. 

Clarke leans into him, pushing her hand into his hair to fist some strands. "In a minute," she mumbles, dragging him down for a kiss. 

The reaction is instantaneous. He forgets about anyone else, his mind latching onto her and only her. Everything narrows down to her lips against his, intense and hot. She licks into his mouth, and he grunts, inhaling sharply through his nose as he mindlessly backs her up until she's pinned to a tree.

The kiss is filthy almost immediately. It's been a week since they've had sex, and frankly, Bellamy is missing the hell out of it. They're alone at this moment, no one around to interrupt, their child safe back home. This is the  _ perfect  _ opportunity, and he doesn't plan on wasting it. He can already tell this is going to be fast and rough, but he doesn't care, and the way Clarke insistently tugs on his hair and moans into his mouth suggests she doesn't either. 

Bellamy fumbles with her pants through the kiss, trying to get them pulled down while being distracted by her teeth catching at his bottom lip and tugging. His whole body shudders and he has to rip himself away with a deep gasp, blinking rapidly. 

She starts to protest, so he just says, "Hold on, I got you. Give me a second." 

"Hurry up," Clarke mutters, her words borderline a whimper, though no less demanding. 

It makes him grin. 

Now rushing, he kneels down to yank her pants down, leaving them around her ankles. He only tugs one leg free and leans forward to throw it over his shoulder, feeling the tread of her boot pressing into his back. He gives her a split second to get her bearings, then he moves forward to press his mouth against her core, licking between her folds. 

They're essentially behind a tree and some thick foliage, so no one should see them unless they come close enough, but there is something strangely exciting about having to rush. He can't take his time with it and savor it like he usually enjoys, but bringing her to release quickly can be rewarding in its own way. 

"Shit,  _ Bellamy,"  _ Clarke hisses, one hand coming down to grip his shoulder hard. He can see through the dim lighting that she tosses her head back. 

He closes his eyes and presses his tongue flat, licking fast but not rough, just how she likes. She's already so wet, but he can feel her growing even more aroused as he rushes her towards orgasm. Her breath hitches, and he hums at the sound of her muffled whine. She's either covered her mouth or is biting her knuckle to stay quiet, but he can still listen to the sounds of her coming undone. 

It almost takes no time at all when he reaches up to slip one finger into her. She makes a muffled sound above him, a garbled word that might be a curse or his name, and he feels her clench around his finger, clamping down as she comes. His tongue gives softer strokes until she's twitching and frantically pulling at his hair. 

"C'mere," Bellamy mumbles, sliding her leg from over his shoulder and standing as he wipes his mouth. He reaches out to push his fingers into her hair, leaning in to kiss her deeply. 

Clarke is shaking against him, but she hums into the kiss, giving as much as she gets. He feels her fingers fumble with his pants a moment later, and he shifts eagerly to give her better access. It takes her a second, but she eventually manages to get his pants open enough to stroke his length, making him groan and break the kiss to press his face against her throat. He rocks into her hand, gasping a little at the sensation. It's dry and rough, not nearly as good as it could be, but by god, it's the best thing he's felt in  _ days.  _ He almost doesn't want to stop. 

"Are we having sex against this tree or not?" Clarke whispers, nipping his neck with her teeth and squeezing her hand at the same time. 

Bellamy doesn't exactly have the strength to make it out of a moment like that without whimpering. His knees wobble for a moment and he just  _ wants  _ her. So badly. He reaches down with a shaking hand and grips her free leg beneath the knee, drawing it up to curl around his body. It gives him the leverage to shuffle closer and let her guide him between her legs. The moment he has the right route, he takes over and begins pushing into her, gritting his teeth to hold back a multitude of curses. 

_ "En's krei joken os,"  _ Bellamy croaks, everything upside down and topsy-turvy in his brain. He  _ means  _ to say  _ it's so fucking good  _ in English, but it comes out in Trigedasleng instead. 

Thankfully, Clarke knows this language, too. _ "Ai get in,"  _ she moans back.  _ I know.  _

Burying his face into her neck, he grips her leg tight and thrusts into her—slow at first, but getting to a steady pace. His other hand moves down her side to slide up under her shirt, pushing beneath cloth to palm her breast. His thumb flicks over her nipple, his pointer finger coming down to pinch at it slightly. She groans and jerks, her wet heat clenching around him, making him gasp against her throat as he rocks into her harder. 

One of her hands claws at his back while her other slips down her body to reach between her legs, brushing up against herself on her own while he can't reach. There's something so incredibly sensual about Clarke Griffin in pursuit of her own pleasure, so he speeds up, latching his mouth onto her neck and lightly rolling her nipple between his fingers. 

"Let go for me, Clarke," Bellamy rasps after he pulls away from her neck slightly. "Just let go." 

Clarke pants, her back arching as her nails dig into his back. "I will when you do," she gasps out. 

Bellamy speeds up, thrusting into her only to roll back out and rock right back in, over and over as he picks up the pace. He loses himself to the sensation, knowing nothing outside of her gasping and moaning in his ear and the warmth of her body as they intertwine as close as possible. 

His release slams into him so hard that his skin prickles with it, his eyes screwing shut as he groans her name and his hips stutter. At that precise moment, she tightens around him and arches some more, whimpering and shuddering and falling apart just as he does. They ride it out together, pressed close and blissed out. 

Once it's over, he slowly lets her leg go and slips free with a small sigh of relief. Still trembling a bit, both of them, they fumble to get redressed, the excitement of possibly being caught draining away quickly. The moment they're as dressed as they're going to get, he quirks an easy grin at her and notes that some of the tension in her shoulders has seemed to leave. She looks happier, and he'd bet his whole life that he does, too. 

"Sex against a tree," Bellamy mumbles, leaning forward to kiss her quickly. "We've stooped so low."

"Desperate times and all that," Clarke teases, amused. She chuckles and smooths a hand down his chest, her gaze fond. "I enjoyed myself, anyway." 

"Oh, that's not even a question. I did, too." 

"But back to business." 

"You're no fun," Bellamy jokes, though he straightens up when Clarke's gaze turns serious. 

Clarke sighs. "About Gaia…" 

"Yeah, about that. I think I have an idea, but it involves Indra." 

"Indra?" 

Bellamy nods. "Just trust me." 

Clarke smiles slightly. "I do." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so, so much for reading. If you enjoyed it, please don't hesitate to drop off some kudos and leave a comment; I seriously appreciate every single one! 
> 
> Ta! 
> 
> -SOBS


	8. The Choice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, fellow humans (and those that aren't 👀), this is kinda what I call the peak chapter, where it's as tense as it ever gets. This is where the tag for "child self-endangerment" comes in, but let me assure you all now that Madi is fine. It just gets heavy, that's all. 
> 
> If you want an in-depth description of what happens, go to the end notes first and it will be at the top. 
> 
> With that, enjoy!

Madi continues to go to the Eligius Village every day, even when Abby and Jackson have a breakthrough with Emori's help. Apparently their combined knowledge of medicine and engineering, plus an idea Clarke threw out offhand, managed to lead them to a way to possibly heal the sick Eligius people. They're supposed to be trying it first on Garrett, who volunteered, and Madi can't help but be ever so slightly worried about him. 

On the seventh day is when they're going to try, and Madi wants to go almost as much as she doesn't. A large part of her doesn't want to be there if Garrett is going to die. Over the past week, she's gotten to know him, along with some of the other Eligius people. Not all of them are bad, and even the ones that are don't really treat her badly—a lot of them seem to think kids are an exception to their assholery. It allows her to slip in and wiggle her way into their hearts, slowly getting them more comfortable with this peace idea. 

Over the past seven days, Octavia has turned this Village into something formidable. The walls are high and reinforced, the towers are steady and easy to watch from, there are more long houses, as well as regular houses being built. Not only that, but there is now a place to stock food and a hut that they're filling with things for Blacksmiths to use. There's already a number of new weapons coming from there, plus Raven has started working with Monty to figure out a way to cook up more ammo for guns. Other people are already setting up tents to hand out items that aren't necessarily  _ needed,  _ though definitely wanted—blankets and clothes, wooden dishes, different plant combinations to make medicine, things like that. 

There's so many people pitching in unprompted that it's kind of amazing. Everything is moving so fast because there are so many hands, and Madi can't help but be slightly excited about it. 

Even still, her excitement takes a sharp nosedive when she finds out that Garrett might die on the seventh day. She wrestles with herself, trying to force herself into just going, even when everything in her protests the idea. 

Then the announcement for the tree houses makes its way around, and Madi has the perfect way out. Before she can even consider how weak it makes her to avoid more death, she's telling Bellamy and Octavia that she wants to stay behind to start helping build the tree houses since they're  _ her  _ idea, after all. No one seems to mind, so she gets free from the possibility of Garrett's death. 

The morning before Clarke leaves to go to the Eligius Village without Madi for the first time, Madi pretends to sleep in. The truth is, she hasn't gotten much sleep, too worried about Garrett. Still, she doesn't want Clarke and Bellamy to worry, so she stays pretending in her bed with her eyes closed and her breathing smooth, listening to them move around and make quiet conversation. Before Clarke leaves, she stops by to kiss Madi on the forehead, and that's when Madi hears something that catches her attention. 

"Has Indra changed her mind?" Clarke asks softly. 

Bellamy makes a small sound. "No, not yet. I spoke with her yesterday, and I can tell she's conflicted. But we promised her not to do anything unless something happens, or until she comes up with a better plan to get it." 

Clarke sighs. "It makes me nervous, especially if Madi is staying here today. You have to watch her."

"You know I will," Bellamy murmurs. "She's always with the right people. She'll be fine, Clarke." 

"I still think we should just—" 

"We promised Indra. If anyone will know the right way to do this, it's her. It's only been a week, and nothing has happened yet. Just...give it time." 

"I don't like it, Bellamy," Clarke whispers. 

Bellamy sighs. "Neither do I." 

Then there's the sound of someone kissing someone's cheek or forehead, and Madi works to keep her confusion off her face. She has no idea what they're talking about, and it bugs her. Clarke and Bellamy don't really keep secrets from her. 

This feels kind of like a secret. A big one. 

Madi doesn't move or show that she's awake, listening to the sounds of them quietly saying goodbye. She continues to pretend to sleep, even as she listens to Bellamy putter around and get ready after Clarke leaves, humming off tune under his breath. She can hear him approach her when he must be ready, and she simply waits. 

"Madi," Bellamy murmurs, gently shaking her shoulder. "Hey, kiddo, time to wake up." 

Madi plays it off well, swatting at his hand and groaning, turning over to try and bury her face into the makeshift pillow. Bellamy chuckles warmly and shakes her more insistently, telling her to get up so she can help people build tree houses. She allows that to rouse her, getting up to get ready, keeping him from knowing that she knows something is going on. She doesn't know what, but she's going to try and find out if she can. 

As Madi follows Bellamy out of the house to get orders, she soothes herself with the thought that she has all day to work it out. Plenty of time. 

What's the worst that could happen? 

* * *

"This is so stupid." 

Ethan makes a noise of agreement as Madi plops down beside him, heaving a sigh. He looks as bored as she feels, his leg jolting up and down as Kane tries to teach the kids to play a game that involves them running and tapping each other. While Madi would usually be on board with a little fun, she actually has  _ plans  _ today, and she can't understand why they're not allowing her to help with the tree houses after lunch. How is she supposed to find out more about what Clarke and Bellamy were talking about if she can't be around people who'll know? 

Working on the tree houses has been fun. Not everyone can climb a tree with ease, so she's the best at getting the hard-to-reach places. They're building the tree houses fairly high, but stable. The first one is already done, complete with a ladder made out of vines and wood that comes down from the hatch. Madi  _ really  _ wants to live in a tree house, but Bellamy has made it very clear that's not happening, not as long as she lives with them. 

"Madi, Ethan," Kane says with a huff, putting his hands on his hips, "do you want to get in on this? I promise it's fun." 

Defiantly, Madi tilts her chin up and says, "It's stupid. I could be  _ helping."  _

"You can help more tomorrow if you want, but you're all relaxing for the rest of the day," Kane tells her seriously. He turns his gaze to one of the other adults. "Verio, tell her." 

"Relax, have fun," Verio says, raising her eyebrows pointedly at Madi and Ethan. 

Ethan scoffs and leans back on his hands. "No, you know what? Relaxing for me is sitting back and watching all of you waste your time. Have at it." 

Ryli rolls his eyes, then sighs. "Fine, you two sit there and do nothing. Mervita, you're the one who will chase everyone and attempt to touch them." 

"So I'm the bad guy?" Mervita asks, unimpressed. Madi doesn't know much about her, but Ethan says she's a year older than him. When Ryli nods indulgently, Mervita cocks her head and smiles too sweetly. "Fine, look at me, I'm the enemy of Wonkru and if I touch you, you become the new enemy." 

"Sure, let's go with that," Kane says easily, hopping up and down in place. "Ready? Go!" 

Mervita takes off and everyone scatters, some even laughing like it's actually kind of fun. Madi can't help but watch, almost wanting to join in, but her stubbornness won't let her. Beside her, Ethan's face is a cold mask and he's gritting his teeth. 

"What is it?" Madi asks him. 

Ethan glares out at everyone. "They shouldn't joke about that. Mervita should know better." 

"Oh, come on. Ethan, lighten up." Madi rolls her eyes and throws a handful of grass at his face, making him glare at her. "It's just a game." 

"It's a waste of time. We could be training." 

"You always want to train. How many times have I told you? There's more to life than just training. Did you try drawing like I asked you to?" 

"Yes." 

"And? How'd you like it?" 

"I suck," Ethan says flatly, arching an eyebrow at her. "Indra said it looked like a flower." 

Madi frowns. "Hey, that's not bad." 

"I was trying to draw a gun," Ethan replies. 

"Oh." Madi winces, then sighs. "Look, I'm not saying you'll like drawing, I'm just saying you should like more than just...fighting." 

"I  _ want  _ to be a better fighter," Ethan insists. 

"Okay, but what else?" Madi prompts, turning towards him with a sigh. "I like training, too, but I also like drawing and stories. I like climbing trees and doing hair. Other stuff, you know." 

Ethan shakes his head. "I don't like other stuff." 

Madi frowns and looks away from him. She likes Ethan. He's funny sometimes and he gets how much she likes Octavia. He also listens to her talk about whatever she wants to, even when it's clear he doesn't care. Plus, he seems kind of sad without knowing it sometimes, and Madi can't help but want to be his friend. He needs friends, she thinks. 

He also needs other interests. 

With a sigh, Madi watches the others run around, actually seeming to have fun. Mervita has managed to tag Heath, who is now making ridiculous faces as he chases after everyone. They're all completely focused on their game, so sucked in that they're not worried about anything else. 

A flame flickers to life in Madi's head, and she sits up straight, looking back at Ethan. "Hey, I'll make a deal with you." 

Ethan glances at her, narrowing his eyes. "What kind of deal?" 

"If you sneak away with me and find something else to like, I'll train with you," Madi promises. 

"I don't know, Madi," Ethan replies immediately, his face twisting in discomfort. "Octavia ordered us all to relax, remember? Going against her orders is—" 

"Aunty O won't do anything to us, especially if we're not caught," Madi needles, reaching out to poke him in his side. He smacks her hand away lightly, but she can tell he's wavering. "Besides, we  _ will  _ be relaxing. It's not technically breaking the rules." 

Ethan purses his lips, scanning the others with narrowed eyes, then looks back at her. "What if—" 

"Do you want to train or not?" Madi challenges. 

"How do I even know if you're good enough to train with?" Ethan retorts. 

Madi narrows her eyes, then reaches out and shoves him, making him topple to the side with a huff. When he scowls at her, she grins. "Now try to do the same thing to me." 

When Ethan tries, she knocks his wrist away and pushes her palm into his chest, making him fall backwards with a cough of surprise. He blinks at her rapidly, then slowly sits up. "Okay, so how do we sneak out of here?" 

"Well, Ethan," Madi says with a beaming smile as she turns her head to the left, "we climb." 

* * *

Getting out of the Village isn't really that hard. It's defended to keep people from getting  _ in,  _ not out. All they have to do is slip over the gate beside one of the towers. Whatever guard is in rotation will be looking outwards, not back at them. Then, once they're over, they just have to sneak into the cover of the trees. 

This is precisely when Madi learns that Ethan does not enjoy climbing. He's not bad at it, but he grumbles about it the whole time. If he really liked it the way she does, he'd find it exhilarating every single time. So, it's a no on climbing. 

They wait at the corner of the tower, watching the two guards at the opposite towers to see when they'll have a moment to make a break for it. In the end, Madi has to throw a rock to distract the guard they're closest to, then they dart away. It's in the middle of the day, but they still stay low and go as fast as absolutely possible. And, somehow, they burst through the line of trees without anyone calling out anything. 

This is when Madi finds out that Ethan doesn't like running. He's good at that, too, but he begins complaining the moment they stop, holding his side as his chest heaves. While Madi isn't, like, obsessed with running or anything, she likes it a lot more than he does. So, it's a no for running, too. 

"What now?" Ethan mutters. 

Madi grins. "Doesn't matter. We can do  _ anything.  _ We can explore, or gather food, or try to hunt. All we have to do is avoid any groups out." 

"And if I find something I like, we can train?" 

"I promise." 

Ethan nods. "Alright, where to first?" 

Madi doesn't have a clear destination in her mind, so she just starts walking. She watches Ethan, waiting for his eyes to light up or an unconscious smile to spread across his face. The same way Bellamy's eyes light up when he finishes a chair or talks about writing or History, the same way a small smile graces Clarke's face when she starts drawing or starts making medicine to help. 

It doesn't happen for Ethan. He just stares around, overly alert, not taking in any details. It's like he's looking at everything so hard that he truly sees nothing. It annoys Madi to no end. 

So, she starts by trying to show him the flowers. She points them out, talks about their pretty colors, even tries her hand at making a flower crown—she fails. Ethan just nods indulgently and shrugs. To him, they're just flowers and that's all. Frustrated, Madi leads him further into the forest. 

Next, she tries to see how much he'll like the venus berries. He's probably had some already, but she doubts he's actually picked one and ate it. There is something strangely rewarding about that, at least to her, so she hopes he'll like it more like this. He admits they're good, much better than the food in the bunker (at this, he averts his eyes), but he still doesn't seem that interested in it. Irritated, Madi munches on venus berries and marches him further into the forest with a scowl. 

After that, she tries  _ everything.  _ Tracking? He thinks it's a useful skill, but he's not ecstatic about it. Climbing a tree instead of the wall? He scrapes his hand and curses, declaring that he won't be doing it again. Collecting plants? He struggles to tell the difference in them. Fishing with a spear in a small stream? He just jabs at fish all willy-nilly, only to grumble about the pointlessness of fishing when they're not going to actually eat the fish. 

Madi is ready to pull her hair out. 

"What is  _ wrong  _ with you?" Madi demands finally, whirling around to glare at him. "You don't like anything! It's  _ weird."  _

Ethan glowers at her. "I  _ do  _ like something. I like training, and fighting, and weapons!" 

Madi shakes her head furiously. "That can't be all there is, Ethan. Life is  _ more  _ than that. Everyone else is learning that, so why can't you?" 

"I can't help it if I'm not interested in other stuff," Ethan snaps, crossing his arms. "Maybe I'm just not stupid enough to think they're will actually be peace.  _ Maybe  _ I think Wonkru should stay focused on being prepared, rather than  _ relaxing."  _

"There  _ is  _ peace," Madi argues, narrowing her eyes at him. "Everyone is trying for that on both sides, and  _ maybe  _ you should start trying, too." 

Ethan scoffs. "As if this peace will hold. The moment we let our guard down, we die." 

"Who told you that?" 

"No one. I just know that." 

_ "How?"  _ Madi marches forward and glares at him, huffing. "How can you just know that?" 

"Look, if being in the bunker taught me nothing else, it taught me that things are never easy. I need to be prepared for when something happens. What do you think is going to happen when we all get older, Madi? Everyone else isn't acting like we'll have to step up and take over, but we will. We'll need to know how to defend ourselves!" 

"I'm not disagreeing with that! I'm just saying that we need  _ more  _ than that. We need fun and things to like and friends!" 

"You're my friend," Ethan says, frowning at her. "Isn't that enough?" 

Madi sighs and rolls her eyes. "Right about now, I'm questioning the decision to be your friend. I kind of don't like you at the moment." 

"Really?" Ethan frowns harder. "I'm not  _ doing  _ anything, though." 

"That's the problem!" Madi yells, tossing up her hands with a growl of frustration. "You got out of that bunker and you're in this really,  _ really  _ amazing Valley. You have so much food, a better place to stay, and a new life of peace to live. But you  _ still  _ don't know how to reach out and take the chance. Everyone else is! You saw it back there. Mervita and the others are learning to have fun and like things." 

Ethan looks all tied up and confused, conflicted and angry. He takes a solid step back. "You don't understand. You're not Wonkru. You have both parents and you've never had any problems. You're—you've got it  _ easy."  _

"What?" Madi rears back like she's been slapped, blinking hard in surprise. Ethan just clenches his jaw and tilts his chin up. Fury bubbles up in Madi's chest, rising up her throat. "Shut up! You don't know anything about me! Clarke and Bellamy aren't my  _ real  _ parents,  _ yu branwoda.  _ Maybe I'm not Wonkru, but Octavia is my  _ aunt,  _ and she'll care about me more than she'll ever care about you. Just because you lived in a bunker for six years doesn't mean your life has been harder than mine!" 

"Really?!" Ethan yells, marching forward to glare at her harshly, his entire face turning red. "All of my parents are  _ dead.  _ Even the person who took me in after them! I  _ know  _ Octavia doesn't care about me that much, Madi. Wonkru is  _ all  _ I have! Don't you  _ get  _ that? I have nothing else. Being in that bunker for six years is the only thing that I—I understand." He blinks, his throat bobbing as he takes a step back. His eyes are brimming with tears. "You don't know what we've been through. You don't get it." 

Madi's rage seeps out of her all at once, noting the tears he's trying to blink away. Her heart clenches violently in her chest. "Ethan? I… I'm sorry. My parents are dead, too. Clarke and Bellamy are all I have now, so I get it. Before everyone came back, the Valley is all I understood, and everything is different now. I—I did something. Something bad. Something I don't think I'll ever get over. If you did something like that, it's okay. You can tell me." 

"What did you do?" Ethan whispers, swallowing. 

"I killed a man," Madi replies softly, her gaze slowly drifting down in shame. "I shot him in the head. And I'm responsible for the death of four others." 

"Oh." Ethan shuffles forward, making her look up. He's frowning. "Why?" 

"It was Eligius people. Before the bunker was opened, I didn't know they were going to be allies, and I thought they were hurting Clarke and Bellamy. So, I just—I put a gun to his head, and I pulled the trigger. It was an accident, but it's still my fault." 

"Does anyone know?" 

"The adults. Diyoza, too. She forgave me." Madi stares at him and wraps her arms around herself, taking a deep breath. "Before I did it, I  _ wanted  _ to do it. I wanted to fight and put my training to good use. I—I thought that I had to, but I didn't. And now… Now, I have to live with it." 

Ethan fiddles with his own fingers, chewing his bottom lip. He lowers his voice and asks, "Do you have nightmares about it?" 

"All the time. I see their faces. I dream that I shoot them, and no matter how hard I try, I can never put down the gun." 

"I'm sorry." 

"Me too," Madi says, clearing her throat. 

"When we were in that bunker…" Ethan trails off, ducking his head to stare down at his feet. His fists clench and unclench at his sides, and he takes a deep breath. "We all...did things. I was only nine when the, um, protein supply dropped. I didn't really understand at the time, but—but we had to…" He pauses, looking up and swallowing. "One day, Octavia told everyone that we'd have to eat the people who died in the arena. We didn't—there was no other choice because we'd all die if we didn't get a supply of protein. Some people were refusing, so Octavia had to—she...she killed them for not eating. We ate people, Madi. We were all different after that, especially Octavia." 

Madi's stomach flips, churning in disgust, and her knee-jerk reaction is to back away from him. She forces herself to plant her feet, gritting her teeth to fight the rising bile in her throat. He stares at her, looking ashamed and scared in a way she's never seen anyone from Wonkru look. 

It takes a moment for her to get over her initial horror. Madi has to take a second to try and see it through his eyes. He didn't judge her for killing someone, so she won't judge him for doing something he had no choice but to do. It explains a lot about him, and about Octavia. 

"I'm sorry that happened to you," Madi finally whispers, her voice softer than a breath. 

Ethan clears his throat, reaching up to swipe at his cheeks. "Some people try and pretend it didn't happen, but it did. I was younger, but not stupid. No one talked about it, like it was some kind of horrible sin we could all just ignore if we didn't bring it up. I couldn't stop thinking about it, though. So, I—I went to Gaia because I was scared. She took me to Octavia, and they decided to train me extra to help me deal with everything.  _ That's  _ why I like training. It helps me feel better." 

"Bellamy says that our mistakes don't define us," Madi murmurs. "What does is what we do the next time we get a chance to be better. I think we have a chance now, so we get to decide what to do with it." 

"I don't know where to start." 

"What about enjoying other stuff? We've all done things, Ethan. That doesn't mean we don't deserve peace. If that was true, then no one would exist. I don't think there's anyone in the whole universe who's done everything just right." 

"Maybe," Ethan mumbles. "You don't think I'm disgusting because I've eaten people?" 

"No," Madi says honestly. "Do you think I'm horrible because I've killed someone who was innocent?" 

Ethan shakes his head. "No, I don't." 

"Good," Madi says with a small smile. "Now, why don't we go to the lake? Have you seen one yet?" 

"Not yet, just rivers." He falls into step beside her and glances at her. "Hey, Madi? You won't tell anyone what I told you, right?" 

"Best friends don't spill each other's secrets, Ethan," Madi says seriously, grinning and knocking their shoulders together. 

"We're best friends?" 

"After all that? Try and say otherwise. I dare you." 

"No, that's fair." 

* * *

The lake turns out to be  _ just  _ the thing. The moment Madi holds back the overgrown leaves and steps through with Ethan, she can see that this is it. 

His eyes grow wide, his breath hitching as he looks around in awe. He comes to a halt, staring around, and his lips slowly curl up in the corners. Madi nearly does a happy-dance because  _ finally,  _ but she refrains and manages to restrain her relief to just a wide grin as he steps forward with an exhale like all the air is being punched from his lungs. 

"Woah," Ethan whispers.

Madi gets it. The lake is absolutely beautiful with the sun glittering like diamonds off the calm ripples, the surrounding area a meadow of colorful flowers and green grass that gleams in the sunlight. Mountains backdrop behind the lake at a distance, peeking over the line of trees at the peak of rolling hills that stretch for miles. She's been looking at things like this for years, but it still always manages to take her breath, and Ethan seems equally stunned by how pretty everything is. 

"You like it?" Madi asks, already knowing the answer, smiling so wide that it hurts. 

Ethan glances at her in astonishment. "Madi, this is—it's beautiful! Can you swim?" 

"Yep." 

"Will you teach me?" 

"What, now?" Madi blinks as Ethan nods, completely serious. "I mean...okay, sure." 

Seeing no reason  _ not  _ to, she leads him over to the lake where they take their outer clothes off and pad into the shallow ends of the lake. The moment the surface reaches Ethan's waist, he laughs brightly and runs his fingers through the water, watching it ripple around him in delight. 

"I've never seen water so still," Ethan mumbles. 

"Not even before  _ Praimfaya?"  _ Madi asks. 

Ethan shrugs his thin shoulders. "I don't know. I can't really remember much before  _ Praimfaya."  _

Madi smiles sadly. "Yeah, me neither." 

After that, she starts teaching him how to swim, just like Bellamy and Clarke taught her. Ethan treats it like a training lesson at first, overly serious, so Madi splashes him until he actually cracks a smile and starts laughing, splashing her back. That ends up with them splashing each other in waist-deep water for a while, peals of laughter ringing out between them. Ethan is having a great time. 

Eventually, Madi gets around to teaching him all the different ways to swim—above water, underwater, on your back, just floating. He  _ loves  _ it. 

It's really nice, all things considered. She's been through a lot in the last week and a half, and getting to let loose with her best friend is working wonders for her mood. She doesn't worry about Garrett that much, and she doesn't think about whatever secret Bellamy and Clarke might be keeping from her, not once. She just hangs out with Ethan, playing in the water, talking about a brighter future. That's it. 

Ethan picks up swimming pretty quickly, and he spends a lot of time taking a deep breath to dive under the water. He's brave enough to go past the bank, wading out past where his feet no longer touch the ground beneath. Madi is a great swimmer, but she doesn't often swim out that far. While Ethan wants to try to swim from one side of the lake to the the other and back, Madi is just as happy to float around peacefully while he does. 

He makes it about halfway before he decides to turn back, swearing that something brushed up against his leg. It makes Madi laugh at his uncomfortable expression because she knows there's nothing in these lakes besides fish or slimy weeds. Bellamy had made sure of that years ago, clearing out anything that could pose a threat. She only tells Ethan this when he reaches her, which causes him to smack his teeth and try to dunk her under the water. 

In the end, they have a little war in the water, trying to dunk each other or splash each other, swimming away and having genuine fun. Eventually, though, Madi's hair feels kind of gross and the pads of her fingers begin to wrinkle—she likes that about as much as Bellamy and Clarke do, meaning not at all. So, she opts to get out and go dry off in the sun. 

Ethan doesn't. He wants to try swimming across and back at least once, so Madi leaves him to his whims. She crawls out of the water and plops down in the springy grass with a sigh, watching Ethan bob and dive under the water as he swims farther away. 

Madi wrings out her hair, shaking it until it's no longer dripping, and once her skin is mostly dry and tight like it always gets after swimming, she gets back into her clothes. She'll dry fully soon enough, so she's not really worried about it. 

"Almost there," Madi murmurs, watching Ethan get closer and closer to the other side of the lake. Her lips curl up when he stands up and waves his arms, whooping at her. She waves back. 

As Ethan starts heading back, Madi tries to work her wild, wet curls into a braid. Clarke does them better, but Madi is pretty good at this point. She tips her head to the side, watching Ethan make it about halfway, her braid getting longer and sloppier as she goes. It's at this moment that a twig snaps behind her, making her suck in a sharp breath. 

She starts to turn around, but before she can, a hand clamps around her mouth, cutting off her scream. Before she can so much as try to fight back, she's lifted bodily off her feet and dragged away. 

* * *

Ethan bursts forth from the water with a bright laugh, his insides quivering with excitement. Being in water like this is… It's  _ amazing.  _ Sure, it's a little exhausting, but he really likes it. He kind of never wants to leave, actually. 

He's proud of himself from getting to one side and back without giving up, but he is actually a little tired. So, he comes up and swipes water out of his eyes as he trudges his way out of the lake. He's grinning as he looks around, waiting to tell Madi that she was right, that he needs new interests. 

She's not here. 

"Madi?" Ethan looks around, his smile slowly dropping from his face. "Madi, this isn't funny! Where'd you go?" 

There's no reply. 

Ethan's on high-alert immediately. Madi wouldn't just up and abandon him here, not for no reason. She was  _ just  _ here, standing on the bank before he started swimming back. He glances back towards the water. She wouldn't get back in the water after drying; even he wouldn't, and he  _ really  _ likes swimming. Slowly, he turns back to the last place he saw her, peering around. 

The grass is very springy, enough that he can see the indentions of what looks to be an extra pair of footprints. The more he looks, the more he can tell that someone was dragged through the grass, digging their heels in the whole way. 

Ethan's heart drops.  _ Madi.  _

Still soaking wet, he shoves himself into his clothes and takes off running. He's already so tired, but he doesn't care. This is his fault. If he'd been paying more attention, he'd have been able to prevent this. It's  _ exactly  _ what he meant when he said that things will go wrong, this right here. 

He doesn't have the faintest clue where Madi is or who took her, but he knows that he can track. Not very well, not when he's only just learned a few things, but if he's observant enough, he might be able to pick up enough of a trail. 

He stops at the edge of the woods, kneeling down to look. Either he's a better tracker than he thought, or Madi has purposefully left a trail. Twigs and small branches have been kicked askew and leaves have been torn clean off, telling him quite clearly that someone was putting up a fight when they were dragged to the left. 

Taking a deep breath, Ethan dips low and silently starts running. 

* * *

Kane realizes something is wrong too late. He plays with the kids for as long as his knees will let him, reminding him that he's getting old and that his many injuries over the past few years has left him weaker than he's ever been. It's as he heads towards where Madi and Ethan are  _ supposed  _ to be that he comes to the conclusion that there's a problem. 

All he can think about is Abby, about how much he misses her. He's  _ so close  _ to seeing her. If this breakthrough actually works, Clarke says he should be able to see Abby in a couple of days. All he has to do is survive that long. 

Seeing as Ethan and Madi are lost at the moment, he has his suspicion that he might not. 

Kane is smart. He knows where his allies are, and he's very aware that Octavia isn't one of them. If she catches wind that he lost not only her charge but also her niece, she will undoubtedly cut him down where he stands, relishing in doing so. That makes it very hard for him to narrow down who, exactly, he should go to about this. 

If Clarke were here, he'd immediately go to her. She puts Madi first, always, and she wouldn't stop to inform Octavia of anything. Bellamy… Kane doesn't know. He wishes he did. 

Once, years ago, Kane had felt a deep fondness for Bellamy. He'd wanted to help the younger man, help him to not make the same mistakes, help him to go down on a better path. Kane knows, deep down, that Bellamy is a good man, but he has  _ always  _ put his sister first, no matter what. Hence the doubt that Kane has now. But surely, when it comes to Madi, Bellamy won't feel the same. Right? 

It's not like he has much of a choice. His options are very limited, so he'll just have to plead his case and hope for the best. 

"Ryli, Verio," Kane calls out easily, "I'm going to go take a break. Old man knees." 

Verio shoots him an amused look. "So frail. Alright, but I should see you at dinner, yes?" 

Kane nods. "Certainly. If I haven't fallen asleep." 

Ryli and Verio nod and wave him off, leaving him to his own devices. It's not like he can't go anywhere in the Village as long as it's not out the front gate. He has his freedom here; he's just not allowed to see Abby, the one person he yearns to lay eyes upon. 

Kane makes his way through the Village, keeping an eye out for Madi and Ethan. If they're just breaking the rules to help build, he might get a grasp on the situation before Octavia finds out. Unfortunately, he doesn't see them anywhere, so he continues towards the group he knows Bellamy will be taking a break with. Seeing those he has a past with that were up in Space never fails to blow him away a bit. There was a time that he never expected to see them again. 

"Kane," Monty greets, his arm thrown loosely over Harper's shoulders. 

"We're really digging the hair, by the way," Raven tells him, smirking and snickering with her friends, looking light and peaceful in a way Kane hasn't seen since touching the ground. 

Kane smiles tightly. "Thank you, I grew it myself," he murmurs, watching the others snort and grin up at him. "I need a word with Bellamy." 

"Me?" Bellamy glances forlornly at his handful of venus berries, then sighs, dropping them into Harper's hands. "Yeah, alright. What's up?" 

"Walk with me?" Kane requests, then heads away before Bellamy can so much as protest. 

Bellamy jogs to catch up with him, taller and broader than Kane remembers, with more facial hair, too. "So, what's the problem?" 

"Your sister is going to kill me," Kane murmurs, whirling around to pin a serious look on Bellamy, leaning close so no one will hear. "I'm hoping that you'll help me stop that from happening." 

"What?" Bellamy blinks. "Why? What's going on?" 

Kane swallows. "Madi and Ethan have gone missing. They didn't want to play with the other kids and slipped away when we were distracted. If Octavia finds out, she'll kill me. I intend to find the children and return them here before she learns of what's happened. Will you help?" 

"Madi is—" Bellamy's eyes go hard, standing up taller as he looks around. "Where's Gaia?" 

"Gaia?" Kane scans the motion of community surrounding him, a furrow in his brow. "I don't know where she is. That's not what's important. Your daughter is  _ missing."  _

"I fucking know that," Bellamy hisses, craning his head as he looks around. His eyes lock onto something into the distance, his face going slack as his throat bobs. "Gaia and Indra are both gone from where they're usually next to Octavia. We need to go.  _ Now.  _ Right now, Kane!"

Kane reaches out and catches Bellamy's arm, leaning in to raise his eyebrows. "In case you've forgotten, I can't just leave the Village, Bellamy." 

Bellamy pauses, looking at him. "Will you stay here?" 

"If I do and Octavia finds out, I'll be dead." 

"If you come with me, you  _ will  _ come back, do you understand that? If you run, you die. If you come back, you'll get to see Abby again soon." 

"I know all of this," Kane says tightly. 

"Good, then we're going." Bellamy checks that his gun is on his hip, then looks around. "Lucky for you, I know exactly how to get out of here without alerting anyone." 

"How's that?" 

"Distraction. Follow me." 

* * *

Raven is a simple girl. 

Bellamy tells her to cause a ruckus that will draw every eye in the Village and be discreet about it? 

She does exactly that. 

* * *

Indra moves without making a sound, watching stone-faced as her daughter clings to values that will no doubt lead her to death. 

Conflict in her mind leads her to not interfere, not yet. Indra keeps hoping that Gaia will suddenly realize that this is a pointless endeavor. She can't understand why her daughter is risking her own life like this, especially when things are starting to look better now. Her faith has always been strong, yes, but surely her instinct to survive is stronger? 

Octavia will kill her for this if she finds out. She'll kill Indra for not immediately informing her. She might even kill Clarke and Bellamy for hiding this from her. Or, maybe the change that Indra can see in Octavia will prompt her to forgive them. 

This is considered traitorous behavior, but Indra feels far from a traitor. She simply wants her child to live. She wants Octavia to remain as she is, growing better every day. Gaia is currently making that difficult, and for once, Indra isn't sure what to do. 

Madi flails in Gaia's grasp, kicking out and ripping at leaves, keeping a clear trail that even a child could follow. Gaia doesn't seem to care. She simply continues to haul Madi along, leading her farther and farther away from each of the inhabited Villages. She looks serious. 

What will she do? Force the  _ fleim  _ on Madi? Threaten her? Pin her down and put it in her head? Walk Madi back into the Village and demand she take her place as  _ Heda?  _ Create a war and conflict between unified people? Ruin  _ everything?  _

Indra cannot allow that to happen. 

Things are not perfect, and she doubts they truly will ever be, but they are all approaching peace. Even Octavia can see it, reluctant and scarred as she is. For Gaia to test that is beyond ridiculous, no matter her faith, no matter tradition. Indra has always been loyal to the past Commanders, all except for one. She respects a leader who will try and push their people to peace, to a life of ease, even if they're prepared for war. Though Octavia has struggled with that in the past, for which Indra takes some of the blame, it's clear that Octavia is trying to amend that now. 

To try and force Madi, a child unprepared, into such a position is wrong. Indra knows the repercussions of an unfit leader. She doubts Madi would be anything like Sheidheda, but she will certainly be even worse in the position than Octavia. 

What they have  _ now  _ is good. It's getting better. Gaia will ruin everything, stupid girl. 

A branch snaps from Indra's left, and she immediately ducks down, whipping her head to the side. Her features twist in a scowl to find out that a child has, in fact, followed Madi's trail. As Gaia freezes and whirls around, looking for the source of the sound, Ethan scurries awkwardly up a tree. He looks annoyed at having to do so, but he manages to climb out of sight while unnoticed. 

Gaia's pause is enough for Madi to wrench herself free from her grasp. She elbows Gaia in the side and slams herself forward, dropping down to the ground with a grunt. Quick and spry, she flips around and starts backing up frantically as Gaia reaches out for her. Her chest heaving, she scrambles to her feet and stares at Gaia with wide eyes. 

"What are you _ doing?"  _ Madi croaks, looking stunned as she takes a step back when Gaia inches forward. "Why did you kidnap me, Gaia?" 

Gaia holds her hands up placatingly, her face softening with respect. "Madi, I'm not kidnapping you. I'm trying to take you somewhere so I can explain something very important." 

"Here's fine," Madi says tersely, tipping her chin up stubbornly. "What is it?" 

"Madi…  _ Natblida,"  _ Gaia whispers, moving closer slowly, "you have a sacred duty." 

Madi's eyes widen.  _ "Fleimkepa."  _

"Yes," Gaia confirms. "I know you're scared, but my purpose in life is to  _ serve  _ you. I have faith that the  _ Heda  _ will live once more. You, Madi. You're the last natural  _ natblida  _ alive. It is your destiny to—" 

"No," Madi interrupts sharply. "Don't come any closer to me. I will  _ not  _ be the new  _ Heda."  _

Gaia licks her lips, inching closer. "Please, Madi, you must understand. My whole purpose is my faith. It is tradition." 

"Do  _ not _ come any closer," Madi warns. 

Gaia doesn't listen. She inches forward just a bit more, and in a move so quick that Indra herself almost misses it, Madi launches herself forward and tackles Gaia to the ground. Indra is up and moving forward the moment they begin wrestling on the ground for Gaia's gun, and Ethan drops down from his tree with a grunt, rushing forward. 

"Indra?" Ethan blurts out, nearly tripping as she runs past him at full speed. 

Indra tosses him a scolding glare. "We will discuss this later!" 

Just as she comes skidding closer, Madi flings herself off of Gaia with the gun, her chest heaving. Indra knows the only reason Madi won that tussle is because Gaia will never hurt her, not when she's the last true vessel for the  _ fleim.  _ As Madi scrambles back, her eyes wide, Indra fully prepares herself to dive in between the gun and Gaia, but she doesn't have to. 

Madi points the gun at her own head. 

"No!" Gaia bursts out immediately, launching to her feet and moving forward, only to come to a screeching halt when Madi grips the trigger. 

"If you come closer this time," Madi says softly, "I will pull the trigger,  _ fleimkepa."  _

Ethan slowly moves forward, his hands up like the gun is pointed towards him. "Madi...what are you doing? Put the gun down." 

"Listen to Ethan," Indra says firmly. "Gaia will not hurt you. I will not let her." 

Madi shakes her head, looking eerily calm. "This is all going so wrong. It's—we're supposed to have  _ peace,  _ but we can't. Not if the  _ fleim  _ can mess everything up. I don't want it, Gaia. I don't. Octavia is the one we'll all follow, not me. You—you have to decide. If your faith pushes you to shatter the peace, I will make sure the last natural  _ natblida  _ alive no longer exists. But if—if you can let it go, just...just leave me out of it, I'll put the gun down." She swallows, her exhale leaving her all at once. In a tragic mimicry of Octavia, she looks right at Gaia and strongly says, "Choose." 

* * *

The first interruption in the Village is interrupted by the sound of the Rover approaching the gates. Octavia frowns as she whips around to watch them swing open, Jackson pulling them in. She glances around for her brother and Madi, knowing they'll come running the moment they realize Clarke has returned earlier than usual. 

They're nowhere to be seen. 

Octavia slowly turns around in a slow circle, looking for familiar faces. While she knows every face, there are a few that she actively feels comfort at the sight of. Her brother, Indra, Ethan, Madi, Gaia. She can't see any of them. Suspicion prickles down her spine as she walks over to one of the large stacks of logs they're using to build, climbing atop it. 

Everyone falls silent the moment they notice her, awaiting a speech or an announcement, but she just scans the crowd of faces. 

They're all gone. 

Octavia narrows her eyes and drops down from the logs, marching towards the Rover with her jaw clenched. Clarke smiles calmly as she approaches, looking pleased. 

"Octavia," Clarke says with a broad smile, "we figured it out. It's a one-patient-at-a-time kind of procedure, though, so my mom is handling the rest. Jackson and I did a good portion of them, all except for the ones Diyoza asked us not to. It's great news, right? Where's Bellamy and Madi?" 

"You're coming with me," Octavia snaps sharply, marching forward without another word. 

Clarke makes a small sound of confusion. "Uh, okay? Octavia, what's going on?" 

Octavia waves Cooper off and nods at Miller, who's posted at the gate. She strides right out of the gate, Clarke following along. The moment they hit the line of trees, Octavia whirls around and snarls, "I think a number of people are gone from the Village, including my brother and my niece. Gaia, Indra, and Ethan, too. Know anything about that?" 

"What?" Fear flickers across Clarke's face as she inhales sharply. "We—we have to go." 

"Go  _ where?"  _ Octavia moves forward, her eyes wide, feeling like she's about to vibrate out of her skin. "Where  _ are  _ they, Clarke?" 

Clarke shakes her head frantically, moving forward to jog into the woods. "I don't know for sure, but my guess is as far away from the two Villages as possible. We might pick up a trail. Come on." 

Octavia doesn't like taking orders from anyone, but she does take off at a run when Clarke does, keeping her eyes peeled as they barrel through the forest, fairly quiet after years of learning to be. Questions whip through Octavia's mind, and her rage demands that she get answers. 

A part of her is almost scared to find out. 

Trust. Octavia no longer trusts herself. She has no desire to be who she used to be, but she worries that she is only capable of being that. She has noted the growth in her, but she's aware that it will only take one mistake before she reverts. It makes her ache with anger, tormented with fury, hands itching for the weight of a blade even as her palms bleed. 

Octavia doesn't want to do this anymore. She doesn't want to break apart and fight with herself every time something goes wrong. She wishes she could be  _ Skairipa  _ again, just a blade sharpened and told when to strike. Ultimately, all she is now is a weapon that can wield itself, and she knows that will one day lead to destruction. 

She asks herself over and over as she runs what she will do if these people who are oh so important to her have made a mistake worthy of death. People that have helped dull her edges. Her family. 

Will she kill them? Can she? 

She doesn't know. 

* * *

Kane hears the pounding of feet at the same time that Bellamy does, and they both freeze, turning to see who's approaching. He can only hope that it's Madi and Ethan, that way they can be escorted back to the Village safely. 

It is not Madi and Ethan. 

"Clarke?" Bellamy blurts out, standing up from his crouch in pure surprise, only for him to go still and sigh. "Octavia…" 

"Kane?" Octavia growls, drawing her blade and marching forward immediately. 

"Wait! Wait," Bellamy says frantically, holding up his hands and stepping in front of Kane. "He's helping, O! He realized Ethan and Madi went missing and came to me, so I—I let him out to help look. I told him I'd kill him if he ran. He's just worried about the kids, O, that's all." 

Octavia bares her teeth at him. "This is the  _ second  _ time you've put yourself between me and a traitor, Bell. I  _ will  _ cut you down if you don't move." 

"He's not Wonrku, Octavia," Clarke snaps, walking over and abruptly snatching the blade right out of Octavia's hands. The movement is so unexpected that Octavia actually looks stunned, and Clarke snaps her fingers in her face. "Yeah, hey, focus. My child,  _ your  _ niece, and the one you look after are  _ missing.  _ If Kane is trying to help, then he's being an ally. Bellamy is the one who broke the rules by letting him out of the Village, and you can punish him for that later." 

"Thanks, Princess," Bellamy says dryly. 

Clarke glares at him. "You should have left him behind. You should have listened to me about this. You should have been watching our daughter!" 

"Give it back," Octavia says sharply.  _ "Now."  _

"Fine." Clarke holds it out, but keeps her grip on it when Octavia grasps it. "My mom found a cure before Kane ever left the Village. Technically, he hasn't broken any rules. You haven't spilt blood yet, Octavia, and you've kept the peace. I'm giving you the chance to keep doing that. Don't waste it." 

With that, Clarke drops the blade and waits. After a beat, Octavia sheathes it, her eyes blazing with anger. Kane feels a shaky sense of relief course through him, but he says nothing. He's more interested in the fact that Abby managed to heal the Eligius people. She must be feeling better. He hopes she is, hopes she's okay. 

"Clarke," Bellamy whispers, stepping forward to reach out and touch Clarke's arm lightly. 

Clarke wrenches out of his grasp, her face twisted into a hard scowl as she stares at him.  _ "Don't,"  _ she spits harshly. "You  _ promised  _ you'd— If anything happens to her, Bellamy, anything at all…" 

Bellamy flinches and averts his eyes. He says nothing, his throat working. Kane gets the idea that there's more to this than he realizes. 

"What's going on?" Octavia asks harshly, looking between them, having picked up on the tension as well. "What don't I know?" 

"We're wasting time," Clarke snaps, turning around and moving forward. "We need to go." 

* * *

Madi feels a strange sense of calm. 

She's never had a gun pressed directly up against her head before. She wonders vaguely if Dick could feel the cool metal around the heat of his skin, just like she can. She wonders if his death was instantaneous, if hers will be if Gaia says the wrong thing. 

Madi doesn't want to die. She really doesn't. But she also doesn't want to be the cause of things going wrong anymore. It was her fault that the peace almost fell apart before, and she refuses to let that happen this time. It was her fault that her parents died trying to protect her from  _ fleimkepas,  _ and she knows Clarke and Bellamy would do the same now, but she won't let it come to that. 

She hasn't held a gun since she shot Dick, and it feels strangely familiar in her grip. 

"Madi," Ethan says again, his tone soft, shaking a bit. She won't look at him, can't. "Madi, please don't do that. Indra won't let anything bad happen, I promise. She's—she's strong." 

Indra looks very stiff, but she nods. "I assure you, Madi, I will not let Gaia harm you." 

"That's not what this is about," Madi whispers, her eyes locked on Gaia. "I know what a _fleimkepa_ will do. I've seen it. She—she won't stop. Will you?" 

"Put down the gun, Madi," Gaia says. 

It's not an answer. 

"I'm not saying your faith is wrong," Madi tells her slowly. "Clarke loved Lexa, the last  _ Heda,  _ and I respect the tradition. I'm just not a part of that, and there's no one else. Octavia is  _ trying.  _ She is good, I know that, and she will lead everyone into peace."

"I do not doubt Octavia," Gaia murmurs. "It simply is not her place, not when you're alive. Don't you see? You're a sign, Madi. Why would you still be alive if you're not meant to be the Commander?"

Madi swallows, pressing the gun more firmly to her head, her breath shuddering out of her. "I can just as easily change that, and I will." 

Everyone falls silent, goes still, holding their breath. 

Madi realizes that she's not really scared. She doesn't know if it's because she's strong like Clarke and steady like Bellamy, or if it's because she's something else entirely, something of her own. Perhaps it's the ability to flourish, to grow, to recognize that there is a need for development and change. Shooting Gaia and thinking it's the only choice is what most would believe, but Madi sees a different way. She sees endless choices. 

Indra's gaze suddenly flicks over Madi's shoulder, and her body grows even more tense. "Madi, there are people approaching from the trees slowly. Do not be startled." 

"Thank you," Madi whispers. 

She wonders who told Indra what caused her to shoot Dick. Being startled. Alarmed. Taken by surprise. As simple as that, Madi's finger had twitched too far, and that was it. There's something human and kind for Indra to actively ensure that won't happen again here today. 

Madi hears the footsteps a few moments later, circling over her right shoulder. She doesn't look away from Gaia, just waiting. Everything within her hopes it isn't Bellamy. Not him, not her  _ dad.  _

_ "Madi."  _

Somehow, that's worse. Madi almost falters at hearing Clarke's voice. She shouldn't be home yet, not right now. If she's here, then the other footsteps might belong to Bellamy. She doesn't look to check, just breathes calmly. 

"Don't come over here," Madi calls out steadily. She keeps staring at Gaia. "Just—just come stand in front of me where I can see you." 

Slowly, hesitantly, people file into her line of vision. First Clarke, then Bellamy, and Madi can't help but feel a pang in her chest at the sight of them. She flicks her gaze at them for a brief moment, her heart feeling mashed the wrong way in her chest at the sight of the desperate horror on their faces, Clarke already crying and Bellamy's eyes glittering. 

Following them is Kane, who looks very confused and stunned and horrified himself. He's staring at Madi, aghast at the sight of a child pressing a gun to her own head. After him is Octavia, her eyes pinned heavily on Madi, lips pressed into a thin line. At the sight of her, Madi's heart tumbles—clenching and twisting painfully—to her stomach. 

"M-Madi," Bellamy chokes out, his voice shaking so badly that he stutters, "what are you doing?" 

Madi says nothing, just staring at Gaia. 

"What is going on here?" Octavia asks carefully. This time, no one says anything. "Answer me!" 

"You can't kill her, Aunty O," Madi whispers, turning her gaze to Octavia, pleading. "You just can't. Her belief shouldn't lead to her death." 

Gaia tilts her chin up. "I will not cower in fear for my faith in the  _ fleim.  _ I respect you, Octavia, but you are not meant to lead." 

"My  _ child  _ isn't either!" Bellamy shouts. 

"Her blood deems it so," Gaia whispers, looking truly regretful. "She is  _ meant  _ to be the next Commander, Bellamy. I'm sorry, but it is sacred tradition." 

"Enough of this," Indra hisses, snapping her head to the side to glare at Gaia. "Things  _ change,  _ Gaia, and you must accept that. Look what refusing to has caused. The very child you wish to serve is ready to end her own life for the peace you mean to ruin!" 

Octavia slowly turns, her back to Madi as she looks at Indra. "You knew about this? All of you. Clarke and Bellamy, too. None of you said anything." 

Indra doesn't try to defend herself. She simply closes her mouth and ducks her head, almost as if her fate has been sealed. Bellamy and Clarke don't look away from Madi, their eyes wide. 

"Aunty O," Madi mumbles, making Octavia slowly swivel back around, her lips parted. "They're scared of you, too." 

Madi hates to say it, but it's the truth. Everyone is. Scared that Octavia will deem them the enemy and kill them without a second thought. Scared that Octavia will ruin herself because of how broken she is inside, ripping herself apart as she rips others, a vicious cycle she hasn't learned to free herself from. Madi knows it, has always known it, but to voice it is something else entirely. There is weight to the words, and Madi watches the realization flicker over Octavia's face as she hears the truth in them. 

"They should be," Octavia says softly. 

"This has to stop," Kane murmurs, hesitantly taking a step forward. "I, least of all, never believed that Wonkru could find peace with Octavia leading it, but even I see that she's making an attempt. Gaia, to risk everything like this… You're taking everything we've all worked for and  _ crushing it."  _

"I told you to choose," Madi says seriously, making Gaia look at her with wide eyes. "I don't know what happens next. I only know that I'll do whatever it takes to do better. There is  _ hope,  _ Gaia, and we all deserve that for so many reasons. Your faith is strong, I get that, but I choose not to be a part of it. So, I'm going to ask you one more time to make your own choice." 

"This isn't a  _ choice,"  _ Gaia spits, tears glittering in her eyes. "This—this  _ steals  _ my faith, Madi!" 

"Just as you'd force the  _ fleim  _ on me?" Madi argues stubbornly. "Just as you'd steal my childhood? I'm giving you the same choices you want me to have! That's the thing no one  _ gets.  _ We're all in search of the same things, but we never stop to think about what anyone  _ else  _ feels. You wanted to go to war for land to live in peace, but the Eligius people just want the same chance! You wanted to protect those you love, but the people you killed had the same plans! You want to have your faith, but I just want to have my freedom to be  _ me."  _

Gaia rears back, blinking hard as her throat sticks around a swallow. "What would you have me do? This is who I  _ am."  _

"The Commanders that came before me still live on in that  _ fleim,  _ Gaia," Madi mumbles. "Clarke told me that once. You can still worship them and know Octavia as a leader. You said it yourself that you respect her. You don't  _ want  _ to betray her, I know that. You just think this is your only choice, but you have so many more. Keep your  _ fleim,  _ worship it, let your faith be strong. I don't want to take that from you. I just want to be a kid." 

"To show my faith is to be loyal to someone other than Octavia," Gaia says quietly, cutting her eyes to Octavia. "I will die for it." 

Madi swallows. "She's a human being, you know. You could have just...asked. What does it hurt her if you pray to the  _ fleim?  _ It doesn't affect her if it isn't put in my head. You should have just talked to her. She might have listened. Now...I don't know." 

"I can change the password on it so no one can unlock it to put in anyone," Clarke says shakily, making Gaia's head snap over to her. "It doesn't have to be destroyed. You can still have your faith. Madi doesn't have to be a part of that. Trying to force it on her is as wrong as someone trying to steal it from you. Don't you see that?" 

"This is it," Madi whispers. "I'm not asking anymore. It's your choice, so decide. I'm going to count to three. One." Madi closes her eyes, releasing a slow breath as she cradles the trigger. "I love you, Clarke. Two." She inhales for what might be the last time, her hand shaking. "I don't want to die. I love you, Bellamy. Th—" 

"Stop!" Gaia shouts, the words ripping out of her as she falls to her knees. Her whole body shudders as tears roll down her cheeks, her hands fumbling in her outer robe to pull out a small container that she tosses at Clarke's feet. Defeated, she looks up at Madi through her tears. "Just...stop."

Madi drops the gun and takes a solid step back, heaving out her deep breath, blinking hard. Clarke and Bellamy immediately rush forward to try and gather her up, but she feels crowded and shaken. She pushes them away, trying to suck air into her lungs as her whole body trembles. 

She was going to do it. She really was. 

"Stop it," Ethan whispers urgently, shoving forward to back Clarke and Bellamy off. "She's—she needs a minute. Just give her a minute." 

In that moment, Madi feels nothing but pure gratitude for Ethan. He doesn't crowd her, doesn't touch her, just shuffles her back a few steps so she can get some space. Slowly, her mind clears and breathing gets easier, and she can see Bellamy and Clarke staring at her with concern, clearly eager to hold her close. 

"I'm okay," Madi tells them, taking one last steadying breath. "It's okay." 

She walks forward and crashes into them, wrapping her arms around them as she breathes them in, her eyes sinking shut. They hold her tight, almost too tight, but she wishes it was tighter. She wants to curl up into them, shielded and safe, maybe stay forever. 

No one can stay forever. 

"Don't  _ ever  _ do anything like that again," Clarke gasps out the moment they pull away. Her hands cup Madi's cheeks. "Do you understand? You scared us to death. Don't—don't do that." 

Madi nods frantically, laughing a little hysterically and realizing only then that she's crying a little. She leans into it when Bellamy fiercely kisses her forehead, his whole body trembling as he blows out a deep, shaky exhale. 

"It's not over," Madi mumbles, pulling away to stumble towards Octavia, who's holding up the small container that Gaia threw down. "Aunty O?"

"I want this handled," Octavia says tightly, holding out the container to Clarke. 

Clarke slowly takes it. "Change the password?" 

"Yes," Octavia confirms sharply. She slowly looks over to Kane. "Leave. Go back to the Village and gather your things. I'll return to have you escorted to Abby shortly." 

"Octavia," Kane murmurs, shooting a furtive look at Indra, his throat bobbing. 

_ "Go,"  _ Octavia orders, her tone leaving no room for argument. Kane gives one last look to Indra before he turns and walks away, his head ducked. "Gaia, Indra, follow me. Now." 

"O," Bellamy starts in a croak. 

Octavia ignores him and marches off into the line of trees, her head held high. Indra helps Gaia to her feet, and they follow without a word. 

Madi stands there with Clarke, Bellamy, and Ethan, watching Octavia lead Indra and Gaia away, unsure if they'll ever come back. 

If they don't, Octavia won't emerge the same. 

* * *

Octavia doesn't stop until they're in the middle of a large meadow, flowers blooming in bright colors that the sun bends down to kiss. There's a break in the trees that allows beams of warmth through, and she stands in a patch, closing her eyes as she feels the soft heat on her face. She takes a breath, lets it out, stops thinking for a moment. 

Then she turns. 

Indra. The strongest person that Octavia has ever known. Not infallible, but good and wise. The first Grounder to ever accept Octavia and give her a chance, teaching her, respecting her. A woman who is a warrior that fights hard, a woman smart enough to know how to survive, a woman whom Octavia loves so deeply that it hurts. 

Gaia. Young, but determined in her faith. She's a good fighter as well, though she has no desire to. She chose her own path and ensured that she would walk it, clinging to it well past the time when it made sense. In some ways, she's a lot like Octavia. She made the choice to be who she was, someone with strong faith, just the same as Octavia made the choice to be a warrior. They've both been shunned for it in the past, yet Gaia clearly knows her place in the world. Octavia respects her. 

"It's a beautiful place to die," Gaia murmurs, looking down at the flowers. 

Octavia clears her throat. "It is." 

"Will you burn us?" Indra asks. 

"No, I won't." Octavia watches Indra's jaw work, but she doesn't comment. It makes her heart ache in her chest. "I won't burn you because you're not dying."

Gaia's head snaps up, eyes wide. "You're going to banish us?" 

"No," Octavia rasps. 

It feels like a weight is being lifted off her chest, even as it feels like her chest is being caved in. Her anger and her exhaustion war within her, tearing her apart. The last desperate few pleas for hope are clear in her mind, as is the feeling of blood on her face. 

People fear her. They should. 

She's afraid of herself. 

Octavia never wanted to be a leader, and it's taken her this long to realize that she still doesn't. She's been fighting this whole time to try and prove to herself that she didn't do anything wrong in that bunker, but the truth is...she  _ did.  _ She made those mistakes, she hurt those people, and she destroyed herself to deal with it. 

She's still in this position, trying to be someone and something that she isn't. A leader who is  _ meant  _ to lead, who's going to do right by their people. She's been trying so hard, and she's done well, but this isn't where she's meant to be. It's what had to be done in the past, but her freedom is here now. 

Long ago, she used to dream about the day they'd be free from the bunker. She'd assumed that she would return to who she was before—a warrior, a sister, a person who has the freedom to go as she pleases. She's as trapped as a leader as she was under the floor, and she can't do it anymore. 

"Octavia?" Indra stares at her, gaze accessing. 

Slowly, Octavia pulls her sheathed blade, unraveling it from her waist, and she tosses it to the ground. Something in her splinters at that, but in a way, it feels the same way it did when she was beaten down and still stood up for another round.  _ Ge smak daun, gyon op nodotaim.  _ Get knocked down, get back up. 

"I'm done," Octavia says hoarsely. "I'm not doing this anymore. This isn't who I am." 

Gaia's eyes grow wide. "You're leaving?" 

"No," Octavia says with a raspy, broken chuckle. She can feel tears gathering in her eyes. "I'm retiring. I'm a killer, a warrior, but I'm not the leader Wonkru needs, not anymore." 

"Octavia," Gaia says softly, "it was never a word against you that led me to believe Madi should lead. You have done well for Wonkru. It's simply my faith that guides me to believe that a Commander should be the leader." She sighs, her shoulders slumping as she swallows. "She's refused that, so I must have faith in the  _ fleim  _ as its own." 

"This isn't about the  _ fleim,  _ Gaia." Octavia raises her hands and lets them clap back to her sides, her mouth twisting as tears break past her eyes, falling down her cheeks. "I—I just can't do it. I'm not okay, and I don't know how to be. I need… I just need—" 

"Okay," Indra cuts in, strangely gentle in a way she rarely is. Without another word, she marches forward and wraps one arm around Octavia, drawing her in close. 

Octavia is so,  _ so  _ angry all the time, even now. She doesn't know how to make it go away. She doesn't know how to be okay anymore. It infuriates her that she crumbles, sagging into Indra with a broken sob, her face twisting as she weeps. 

She feels like someone has reached inside her and scraped everything out, leaving her hollow, only to pour back in something explosive. She feels as sharp as a blade, as ruthless as a bullet, as taught as a bowstring. And she wants it all to go away. She wants to breathe without it hurting, wants to trace her teeth without tasting blood, wants to grip her blade and not fear what she will do with it. She wants Lincoln back, and she wants to vomit up every piece of a person she's ever bitten into, and she wants to crawl under the floor and never resurface. Mostly, she wants the freedom to learn to be okay, because she doesn't know how to be, or even if she has ever truly been. 

"I'm sorry," Octavia chokes out when Indra pulls back. "I'm so sorry.  _ Wegod ai op."  _

Indra presses her forehead to Octavia's, breathing slowly.  _ "Yu laik Okteivia kom Trikru en Wonkru. Yu sou wegod op."  _ She squeezes Octavia's arms, shaking her a little. "You need no forgiveness, but you have it. If your reign is over, that is your right. I will follow who you wish to lead in your stead." 

Octavia makes a weak sound in the back of her throat, almost a laugh, and she opens her eyes as she peers at Indra.  _ "Heda,  _ there is no one meant to lead more than you. I know that  _ you  _ will bring Wonkru to peace better than I can." She swallows, holding Indra's gaze. "My loyalty is yours, as is my blade. I will not question you and I will not fail you.  _ Yu set raun ai swega klin."  _

_ You have my promise.  _

"Octavia," Indra whispers, her eyes wide. 

"My reign is over," Octavia replies softly, her words weighted with finality. She nods at Indra respectfully. "Yours has just begun." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Madi temporarily puts a gun to her own head, but she does not shoot it. She is not eager to kill herself; she simply is trying to make a point to someone. 
> 
> ...
> 
> Onward about the chapter:  
> Rough translations between Octavia and Indra are as follows: 
> 
> Wegod ai op -> Forgive me  
> Yu laik Okteivia kom Trikru en Wonkru. Yu sou wegod op -> You are Octavia from/of Trikru and Wonkru. You are forgiven. 
> 
> So, that one is a doozy, huh? Big ooft, folks. It was hard for me to write and there were multiple times that I just...wanted to scrap the whole chapter, to be honest, just because it was so hard. But it brings the story around, and everything from here is all downhill. It's good from here, I promise on my life. 
> 
> So, what did we think? Wanna yell at me? Show your disapproval for THE scene? (Because honestly I wouldn't blame you if you did.) How do we like Ethan? What are we thinking about Octavia? 
> 
> Let me know. All feedback is welcomed. If you enjoyed reading, don't hesitate to drop off some kudos and leave a comment; I adore every single one. 
> 
> Ta!
> 
> -SOBS


	9. The Difference

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm moving my posting days to Thursdays by the way, as life has gotten busy on Fridays. That being said, I don't think this chapter could have fallen at a better time. This chap is 95% COMFORT COMFORT COMFORT. So, rest easy my loves, I won't hurt y'all

Clarke stares at the back of Madi's head, watching her talk quietly to Ethan. They're sitting side-by-side on a log as people move around, unaware of everything hanging in the balance. Kane is nowhere to be seen, probably gathering his things and getting ready to flee as soon as possible. 

Bellamy… 

Clarke can't look at him. She feels him hovering at her side, probably watching Madi intently just as he is. Every time his arm brushes hers, she feels like her fuse grows shorter and shorter. She's angrier with him than she has ever been before. 

In the past, they've done things that have led them to be pissed at each other—small arguments, big betrayals, countless misunderstandings. Nothing infuriates her the way this does. A part of her thinks she's being irrational for blaming him, but he  _ promised.  _ He told her he'd watch Madi, swore that he wouldn't let anything happen. It was  _ him  _ that made the decision to involve Indra and wait for days, basically sitting around and  _ letting  _ this happen because he didn't want to act. He was so worried about doing the wrong thing that he did  _ nothing,  _ and it led to their daughter putting a gun to her head. 

Once again, Clarke feels her stomach flip in discomfort. She has to swallow past the lump in her throat to hold back the churning in her gut. Every time she thinks about Madi holding a gun to her own head, Clarke feels like she's seconds from vomiting. The trigger was never pulled, but the image will never leave her brain. 

It shouldn't have happened. 

"Clarke?" 

Jolting a little, Clarke looks over to the right to see Raven slowly approaching. "Raven." 

"Hey, is everything okay?" Raven asks cautiously, flicking her gaze between Clarke and Bellamy. "Emori and Murphy said that Octavia just kind of stole you away as soon as you got back." 

"I don't know," Clarke whispers, wrapping her arms around herself. It's true. She has no idea if things are okay, or if they will be again. 

"Clarke," Bellamy murmurs, his fingers gently brushing her arm, hesitant just like his voice. 

Clarke turns away from him. "Please don't touch me. Not right now. Just...don't." 

Bellamy falls silent. 

"Hey," Raven says, her voice softening. She looks between Clarke and Bellamy, then frowns and reaches out to wrap an arm around Clarke's shoulders. "Come with me. Let's talk, okay?" 

Clarke shakes her head, going solid. "I can't leave Madi. Someone has to watch Madi." 

"Madi is safe here, Clarke. Nothing is going to happen to her, okay?" Raven nudges her a bit more, her tone soothing. "We're only going a little bit away. Just over here." 

Clarke eventually lets herself be led away, glancing back to make sure Madi is okay. She is. She's just sitting beside Ethan, talking to him. She doesn't even have a gun. It's fine. Clarke catches a glimpse of Bellamy, too. It's the first time she's looked at him since she changed the password on the  _ fleim.  _ He looks tired and worried, a little clammy like he's been terrified for too long, and he's got this anguished tenderness in his gaze as he stares at Clarke. The look in his eyes doesn't go away when he turns his gaze back to Madi. 

"I don't hate him," Clarke mumbles, more to herself than to Raven. 

Raven quirks a small smile and starts rubbing her hands up and down Clarke's arms. "Yeah, he's generally hard to hate. You gonna tell me what happened out there?" 

"Gaia's faith in the Commanders may just have cost us all everything," Clarke says softly. "She tried to convince Madi to take the  _ fleim,  _ but it didn't work out that way. Madi… She, um, put a gun to her own head and—and threatened to take herself out of the equation if it would keep the peace." 

"Oh, hell…" Raven's eyes bulge and she looks over at Madi for a brief second, astonished. Her hands move faster over Clarke's arms. "Okay, that's—it's really fucked up, I'll give you that. You blame Bellamy?" 

Clarke swallows. "I wanted to get the  _ fleim  _ from Gaia before it reached this point, even if we had to take it by force. He wanted to involve Indra, so we explained to her. She thought it was best to wait and come up with a better plan, and Bellamy agreed, so we—we waited. Madi usually comes with me to the Eligius Village anyway, so it wasn't that big of a deal. Today, she stayed behind, and Bellamy  _ promised  _ to watch her, but—but…" 

"Clarke," Raven says softly, "hey, listen to me. Madi is  _ fine,  _ okay? I know that doesn't make things better because of what happened, but it's clear that she's okay  _ now.  _ And you know how much Bellamy loves Madi. I'm sure he's blaming himself, too." 

"She should have never been put in that position. It scared her. I know it did."

"You're right. She's just a kid, but she  _ is  _ strong. You all just need some time. Is everything okay now? With Octavia, I mean." 

"I don't know," Clarke whispers yet again. She's never felt so powerless. "Octavia took Gaia and Indra into the woods without a word. I—I changed the password on the  _ fleim _ so it can't be used, so that's not the problem. If Octavia kills them, I have no idea what will happen next." 

Raven straightens up, suddenly stiff and even more serious. "Can she be stopped?" 

"We can't go back now. Whatever was going to happen has already happened by now. We didn't go after her, just brought Madi and Ethan home." 

"If things get worse, what can we do?" 

"We can leave." Clarke shakes her head, grimacing. Raven rubs her arms more firmly. "Go to the Eilgius Village, maybe? There will be a war. I don't know." 

"So, what you're saying is...we're depending on the hope that Octavia has healed enough not to kill everyone in a fit of rage?" Raven asks dubiously. 

Clarke swallows. "Yes." 

"You and Bellamy are going to have to work together on this," Raven says carefully. "I know you're upset with him, and I get why, but...Clarke, he loves you and Madi  _ so much.  _ He would never intentionally allow either of you to get hurt. If it comes down to it, he'll handle his sister. I just… I don't know what will happen if he has to." 

"Things were so much easier a month ago," Clarke rasps, her eyes sinking shut. "I thought that I wanted everyone to come back, but now I just wish everyone would leave." 

Raven sighs. "Ouch," she says dryly. "Thanks a lot, Griffin. For your information, I miss Space a lot right about now." 

Clarke gives a weak laugh, slumping in on herself slightly. "Sorry. Not—not you, specifically. I'm just… I'm really,  _ really  _ fucking tired." 

"I know," Raven says, her tone laden with pity. "I can't say everything is going to be okay, but I can assure you that if things go wrong, you're going to need Bellamy by your side. You should speak with him. I'll look after Madi." When Clarke starts to protest, she shakes her head. "No, listen to me. You two need to work this out. You don't have to go far, just to a house. I'll wait with Ethan and Madi outside while you two talk, okay? If things start happening, you two have to be on the same page."

"Okay," Clarke croaks. 

* * *

The closest house is Raven's. Emori and Murphy have just changed, but they agree to leave after a few snarky remarks that filter out the moment they see the looks on Clarke and Bellamy's faces. Raven shuts the door behind them and leaves them alone. 

It's an odd silence. 

Clarke still feels angry, but she also has a deep sense of something unsettling. She just keeps thinking about Madi putting that gun to her own head. Madi hadn't looked afraid until it was over and she was dropping the gun, stumbling back from it. Clarke has been terrified from the moment she walked through the trees to see that, as well as every moment since. 

Bellamy leans up against the wall near the window, peering out with a blank expression. He looks lost in thought, or as if there's not a thought in his head at all. His arms are crossed and his shoulders are hunched like he's taking a blunt object to the chest. Clarke loves him, and she's so angry that she wants to hate him, but she can't. 

The silence stretches on, and it's clear that Bellamy isn't going to break it. Clarke almost doesn't want to. A harsh, brittle portion of her wants to let it hang between them forever, wants to blame him so she doesn't have to blame herself again. She's so,  _ so  _ tired of being the one doing things wrong. 

After a beat, she rasps, "Bellamy." 

"Hmm?" Bellamy looks up, blinking as if he's just now becoming aware of his surroundings. He looks at her for a long moment, then smiles bitterly. "I bet you wish you would have shot me now, huh?" 

Clarke flinches, blinking rapidly. "What? Don't say that. Why would you say that?" 

"Dunno," Bellamy mumbles. He shrugs. "I'm kind of wishing that right now." 

"Where were you?" Clarke asks slowly. "When—when all of this happened, where were you?"

Bellamy scoffs, but it sounds kind of thick, almost like he's choking. "Not where I should have been. I told you that all the kids are taken to the center of the Village and made to relax after Lunch. I—I didn't even think anything of it. Madi was supposed to stay in that area with people, not leave. So, I went back to work. I checked on her a couple of times, but she was fine." He looks down at his shoes. "We all got another break, so I checked on her one more time before sitting down with the others for a little bit. Next thing I know, Kane comes and tells me that Madi and Ethan snuck away. I checked, but Indra and Gaia were gone, so I just—I immediately left to go find her. I should have checked on her more, or—or convinced O to let her work with me." 

Clarke stares down at her hands, looking at the small white scars and dirt under her fingernails. Her face feels hot and her throat feels thick. She knows there are tears running down the slope of her nose, but she barely recognizes the burning in her eyes. 

It's not his fault. Deep down, Clarke knows that. Madi shouldn't have snuck away. Clarke should have made Madi come to the Eligius Village. Kane should have watched all the kids better. Gaia should have never tried to do what she did in the first place. 

So many should-haves, too much blame, and no one is truly at fault. It just  _ hurts.  _ The image of Madi with a gun to her head hurts. The fact that the peace they've all been working hard for may be shattered hurts. The fury in Octavia's eyes as she led Indra and Gaia away hurts. The memory of Madi's shuddering breaths as she held onto them hurts. Everything just fucking hurts  _ all the time. _

Clarke wants there to be someone she can lash out at because it feels like the easiest route to closure, to letting it go, to escaping the pain. But there's nothing to come from that. The only option, the best one, is to just accept it. What happened  _ happened,  _ and that's all there is to it. Madi  _ did  _ put a gun to her head, the peace  _ is  _ hanging in the balance, Octavia  _ might  _ kill Indra and Gaia, and Madi  _ was  _ terrified because she planned to shoot herself if it came to it. Clarke just has to face it and come to terms with it, as well as the fact that blaming Bellamy won't help her deal with it. She has to forgive him, even though he hasn't done anything wrong. 

There is something very strange about how people work, how they move through the world, how their emotions form and change. Emotion and logic do not go hand-in-hand very often, and no amount of rationality can win against an emotion that's strong enough. It's fascinating, really. 

Clarke has to take a deep breath and let her fury calm, let her bitterness wash away like a tide rushing back from the shore. She closes her eyes and she breathes, thinking about Madi sitting outside right now with Ethan, perfectly okay. She thinks about this community and all its built, about how much Octavia has changed in just a week and a half. She thinks about how humans can overcome and survive, about how they've been doing it all this time, about how they will once again. 

She exhales. 

"I know you're scared," Clarke whispers, hesitantly moving closer to him. "I am, too. Seeing that was… We'll never forget it. But it's not your fault, Bellamy. I—I wish it was as simple as blaming someone, but that's not how these things work." 

Bellamy shakes his head, his eyes slipping closed as a breath shudders out of him. "It was too damn close, Clarke. I can't… I—I—" 

Seeing Bellamy cry is not something Clarke has ever enjoyed. He's always been so strong. When he breaks down, he  _ crumbles.  _ It's like everything he deals with on a constant basis comes crashing down all at once, and he splinters apart under the weight of it. Everything topples over, and he's shattered across the broken remains. 

Bellamy's shoulders hunch in further and he reaches up to cover his mouth, trying to muffle the sob that escapes anyway. Clarke watches his face twist up, tears still spilling past his closed eyes, and she can't take it. As steady as Clarke usually is, she can't handle seeing this. 

"Okay," Clarke breathes out, marching forward to throw her arms around him and press her face into his hair. "It's okay, it's okay." 

"I'm sorry." Bellamy's words are muffled into her shoulder, and his arms wind around her to cling to her tightly. 

Clarke reaches out to cradle his cheeks and push his head up. "Look at me, Bellamy.  _ Look at me."  _ She waits until his eyes open, red-rimmed and watery, then she shakes her head. "There are  _ so many  _ variables to blame for this. We could take it as far as blaming the person who created that gun in the first place if you want to, but it's  _ pointless.  _ I want to be angry, okay? At you, at Octavia, at  _ Madi,  _ at myself. I want to rage at it all because none of this is fair, but I can't. The truth is...it just happened, and we can't take it back. We can't change it, so we have to accept it, that way we can make sure it never happens again. Putting blame somewhere keeps us from doing better in the future." 

"I'm trying to do this right, all of this, but I think I'm just messing everything up. I've been trying  _ so hard,  _ and I'm just...I'm tired, Clarke." Bellamy stares at her, his lips trembling. "Madi was in danger, and I couldn't do anything to stop it. I feel like I get one step forward, then knocked back three. I don't know how to do this. I don't know if I  _ can."  _

"I haven't been making it easy, and I'm sorry," Clarke whispers. She brushes some of his tears away and smiles sadly. "I think you've been doing a really good job so far. We all have. A few mistakes here and there, but we're getting better. This is just—it's one of those things, you know? We have to survive this, too. But we will. We always do." 

"I feel like I failed our child." 

"So do I."

Bellamy lets out a rough exhale, dragging one hand from her waist to scrub at his nose as he sniffles. He shakes his head. "She just—she was ready to sacrifice herself for peace. Just like that. I feel like we taught her that, somehow, because it's something we would do. Is it selfish that I wish she wouldn't have been ready to do that?" 

"We're her parents, so I think it's normal, not selfish," Clarke admits. "I also don't think we should regret that she would. I never want her to, and I would murder the world that would dare ask her to, but is it wrong for her to want peace? I read all your books, even the one where you quoted Plato. He said,  _ education is teaching our children to desire the right things.  _ Madi has a strong sense of right and wrong, and maybe things aren't always that simple, but I'm proud of her. Aren't you?" 

"Of course I am. It's just...terrifying. I've never been scared like that before." 

"Me neither."

"This is so  _ hard.  _ I don't want to accept it." 

"Bellamy, we have to—to accept this and move on. Not forget it or brush it aside, but we can't let it consume us. We don't know what will happen when Octavia gets back, and we have to be ready." 

"I know," Bellamy whispers. The column of his throat rises and falls. "If she kills them, I don't know how it will change her." 

"Do you think she will?" 

"I don't know." 

Clarke sighs and closes her eyes, leaning forward to press her forehead to Bellamy's. "We'll make it through this. It's going to be okay." 

"I hope you're right," Bellamy says hoarsely. 

"Me too," Clarke breathes out. 

* * *

Clarke wouldn't say that things become easier after that, not really. They're not going to be automatically okay after one conversation. The only thing that's going to heal this is time and Madi's continued presence, like a soothing balm to a wound. So, they eventually break apart and go back outside, not perfect but not distant, either. 

Raven looks up as they exit, and Clarke nods at her. It's to convey that they'll do what needs to be done should it come to it, but it's also a thank you. Raven quirks a small smile and nods back. 

Madi looks up and smiles slightly, almost awkwardly, hesitation in her gaze. Something momentous has just happened, so it's clear that she's waiting to see what the fallout from it will be. Half of Clarke wants to shut her away inside and never let her out, no guns and no exploring and no danger, just safe and tucked away forever. Of course, she knows that's not a legitimate desire. It wouldn't succeed in anything besides ruining Madi's life and pushing her away. As much as Clarke wants to shelter her, she knows she can't. 

They'll need to have a talk with her, though. A serious one. This can never happen again, not if Clarke wants to keep a grip on her sanity. 

"She's back," Ethan mumbles suddenly, standing up swiftly as he stares at the gate. 

Clarke's heart jumps in her chest with either fear or hope, or both, and she whips her head to the side to watch as Octavia comes marching into the Village, stone-faced. After a beat where she holds her breath, she sees Gaia and Indra following. 

No, she doesn't know what that means, nor does she know what comes next, but relief slams into her so strongly that she actually sags a bit. Seeing Indra and Gaia alive is a major reassurance and suggests that Octavia is healing, slowly but surely. She didn't immediately murder them, and that's progress. It means that the chance at peace isn't looking so bleak, after all. 

No one else in the Village is aware of what took place in the woods. A lot of them simply go about their evening, talking with friends and family, some still building, some lazing around since Octavia hasn't been here to order them to do otherwise. They do go quiet when Octavia marches through the center of the Village and climbs to the top of a stack of gathered logs she's been using to make announcements. In seconds, the entire Village is silent and still, watching her with respect. 

"I have an announcement to make," Octavia calls out, her voice raised to be heard by all. "Today, we managed to help our Eligius allies. Clarke, Emori, Jackson, and Abby have found a way to heal the sick. This is something to be rejoiced! The Eligius people have fulfilled their end of the bargain, as have we, and now we walk freely into a peaceful world with our allies, unburdened!" 

The people around the Village erupt in cheers, inspired by Octavia's words. Clarke's not sure how many of them  _ actually  _ care about the Eligius people, or having allies, but they're spurred on by their leader being happy about it—or as happy as Octavia can be, really. She falls silent and allows the celebration to stretch on, watching them, and people only gain steam when she doesn't quiet them. 

Before Clarke knows what's happening, a large crowd of men are swarming around Emori and lifting her right off her feet. She seems alarmed at first, gasping with wide eyes, but the people of Wonkru do not let her fall. She bobs and weaves over the crowd, and soon, Jackson is surfing alongside her. 

Clarke tries to back away, but Murphy catches her and mutters, "Oh, no you don't." 

He dips down and wraps his arms around her legs, his shoulder coming up under her knees and thighs. She wobbles, reaching down to grip his head as he stands with a grunt, and it takes no time at all for other Wonkru people to move over and grasp her so she won't fall, pushing her along with a sea of hands and chants of her name. Clarke is a little appalled, and maybe a bit amazed, but there's really nothing she can do about it but go along with it. 

Distantly, she can hear Madi laughing giddily and chanting her name. Try as she might, Clarke can't crane her head back and see Madi or Bellamy. She just drifts along, feeling hands in places she's not entirely ready for. She bypasses Emori at some point, and she barely even hesitates before she reaches out to grab Emori's gloved hand, staring into her astonished eyes and  _ laughing.  _

For a split second, nothing else exists but this feeling of being on top of the world, countless people chanting her name—Emori and Jackson's, too, and her mom's, even if she's not here. In some ways, it's utterly exhilarating. 

And then, just like that, Octavia raises her hands. Clarke is immediately deposited gently to her feet in the middle of the crowd, standing with people she doesn't even know. Everyone falls silent once more, but the atmosphere is light and cheerful. Clarke stands on her tip-toes and watches Octavia wearily, unsure of what comes next. 

"In the past," Octavia says, the cadence of her tone almost melodic, "we have all struggled and fought to survive. Not even for the right to peace, but just to live. We've done things. We've been through countless trials. Many of our people did not live to see this day, and some of us have lost the people we love. We will take a moment to remember them." She dips her head, her words soft.  _ "Omon gon oson."  _

In an amazing show of unity, everyone in Wonkru bows their head and whispers,  _ "Omon gon oson."  _

There's a long beat of silence, and Clarke closes her eyes. She thinks of her father, of Lexa, of Lincoln, Maya, Jasper…  _ May we meet again,  _ she mouths without saying it aloud. The words echo in her head, lost among the sea of people saying a different set of words meant to bring comfort. 

Octavia lifts her head. "Today marks a new era for all of us, one of peace and hope. I have led us to this point as a people, a unified tribe, but I will lead us no further." A low murmur of confusion starts up, and Clarke goes still as she stares, wide-eyed, up at Octavia, who scans the crowd passively. "We all have our paths to walk, and I believe Wonkru will walk one of harmony. Each of us have a personal journey, and I now know mine isn't to lead Wonkru to peace. I am a Warrior. I am a sister. I am many things, but I am no longer  _ Blodreina.  _ I have made the decision to step down as the leader of Wonkru." 

The murmur slowly gets louder, hushed but insistent, some sounding stunned while others sound downright furious. Clarke swallows thickly and stares at Octavia with mixed emotions. She has no idea why any of this is happening, what caused it, or what will happen afterwards. The crowd seems restless and uncertain, though no one speaks out against her, and Octavia brings silence once again with a raised hand. 

"Know this," Octavia continues strongly, "I will live and die for my people, for all of you. Wonkru has the loyalty of my blade, and I will wield it as instructed. We are still  _ all  _ Wonkru, a family. This, too, will be a change that we adjust to." She tilts her head slightly and takes a deep breath. "It will not be much of an adjustment, as I have elected the new clan leader. There is no one better who will lead us into the next part of peace than Indra. She is wise, and strong, and her advice alone has gotten Wonkru as far as we are today. She is as capable as I, if not more, and I trust her with the lives of Wonkru, as will you. Should anyone wish to challenge her, you will be challenging my decision, and you will be met with my blade. Does anyone object?" 

All the murmuring comes to a halt. Wisely, no one says a word. Clarke holds her breath. 

"Indra," Octavia says softly, nodding at Indra, who immediately climbs up next to her. "My last order for today is that we all come together to celebrate the new leadership. We will eat. We will share stories, and music, and our creations. Wonkru is stepping into the next chapter, one of peace, and Indra will lead us through it." She reaches out and grabs Indra's wrist, lifting it up, raising it high. "Let us not mourn the end of my reign, but rejoice in the beginning of hers! We are Wonkru, and we are one people, and we will know peace!" 

Clarke exhales explosively as everyone begins cheering once again, caught up in the energy of Octavia's outcry. People begin chanting Indra's name now, and she stares out at the crowd with an intense expression, her eyes slightly wide. 

It's almost poetic, in a way. It fits, Clarke thinks. While it has never crossed her mind, she can't think of anyone more fit to lead than Indra. A wise woman who knows the repercussions of war. Someone who has experienced many different things in her years, who has been along through all the traditions and leaders that many have forgotten, who is aware of the best parts of each of those leaders, as well as the worst. No one will be able embody a true union of power and sensibility the way she will and has. 

Octavia drops Indra's hand and steps back, dipping her head respectfully and standing at Indra's back as if it's where she's always belonged. She's been there before many times, and Clarke imagines that it's not hard to fall back into that role, especially if that's where she wishes to be. Clarke can't help but wonder what led Octavia to do this, and she's also helpless to the relief she feels because of it. 

As horrible as it may be, Clarke realizes that Madi's words from in the forest were true. She had feared Octavia, feared her obvious internal fight with her rage, feared what would become of everyone if Octavia took the wrong path. 

Perhaps Octavia feared the same, and it led her to stepping back, removing the option of ruin at her hands. If that's the case, it's admirable. Clarke wonders how many times things would have worked out if she, herself had simply sat back and let someone else handle the issues the world wrought. 

Indra raises a hand, and everyone eventually falls silent. She sweeps her gaze over the crowd, her expression serious. "I know many of you will worry about what change I may bring, but worry not. Octavia has led Wonkru well, and I intend to keep doing the same. Tomorrow, we will all begin building once more, but for tonight...we celebrate." 

With that and nothing else, Indra steps down from the platform of logs, her daughter and Octavia trailing behind her without hesitation. The crowd starts breaking up, murmurs of celebrations being thrown around. People make plans to bring out the food, and distantly, Clarke can already hear someone starting in on the drums. 

The energy is light and comfortable, and for a long moment, Clarke just turns around in a slow circle and watches people move around. 

Perhaps they've found peace already. 

* * *

It's oddly nice. 

Clarke realizes how stressful things have been this past week and a half if she's thinking that nice things are out of the ordinary. She's had six years of nice moments to combat the thought, and somehow, it still manages to surprise her. 

There are far too many people in Wonkru for everyone to gather at once. People are broken up in small clusters, sitting around fires, listening to those who sing and play drums, watching others dance, eating the food that the gathering and hunting groups have managed to accumulate. There are people fighting, too, rowdy and laughing as they throw each other to the ground and roll in the dirt, still rough around the edges to the core. Children of all ages giggle and laugh as they run around, Madi and Ethan among them—apparently, they've all been taught a game that involves enemies and bright bursts of laughter that soothes Clarke's soul. 

Clarke sits on the ground next to Bellamy, not really talking as she watches everyone else with a small smile. Raven and Murphy are lightly bickering, reaching out intermittently to poke and prod each other, playful and sharp-tongued. Emori splits her time between rolling her eyes at them and instigating them to argue some more, looking utterly delighted as she watches them. 

Echo sits next to Clarke, silently slicing fruit and eating the sections off her small knife. Every now and again, she'll add some input that usually makes people chuckle, and Clarke catches her smile slightly a couple of times. Once or twice, Clarke works hard to catch her gaze, and Echo will look back without giving away much in her expression. Maybe Clarke imagines it, but she  _ thinks  _ that Echo's eyes soften if they hold the look long enough. 

Monty and Harper bounce between murmuring low to each other, obviously flirting, or just contributing to the conversation—smiling easy, relaxed, happy. Occasionally, they'll share a kiss—a deep one, or just a simple peck—and Clarke will quickly tear her gaze away to give them their privacy. 

It hits Clarke about halfway in that she's never really had...this. Just  _ this.  _ Wells is about the only friend she can ever really remember having casual, fond memories with. The others are her friends bred from trials, based from the intense moments they've been through together. Sure, they've had their ever so brief moments of reprieve—few as they were—but it had never been fully enjoyed because of the horrible things that hung over them in the past. 

Bellamy is the only exception to that rule. He's her best friend, and they've had many moments like this. It is different, however, because she's in love with him. She's so incredibly in love with him that it feels like a constant pulse in her chest. He's her best friend, the one she loves in spite of everything. 

The others are just her friends. She loves them, of course, but not the way she loves Bellamy. So, it's different to see them this way and to interact with them on top of it. It's like seeing a whole other side to people she's claimed to know for years. 

Raven is a genius, no doubt, but she says dumb jokes and cracks herself up, laughing so hard that she snorts. Monty is gentle and sensible, but he ruthlessly calls Murphy a dick and nibbles shamelessly on Harper's ear whether anyone is watching or not. Echo is reserved, but she kindly offers everyone some fruit without batting an eye. Emori is sarcastic, but she's completely sincere when she says something nice, her smile warm and soft. Harper is calm and collected, but she wastes no time in chewing Murphy out for saying something mildly offensive, her tone sharp. And Murphy, as usual, is an asshole, but he also seems to relish in the closeness of people you'd think he doesn't actually care about, his smiles easier. 

It's odd, and it's nice, and Clarke likes it. She likes it a lot, almost as much as she likes the way Bellamy has hesitantly wrapped his arm around her waist, mindlessly playing with the bracelet on her wrist. She can tell that they're treading lightly, trying to bounce back from the events of the day and the distance between them, and she appreciates that he's trying. To contribute, she leans into him. 

"You like this," Bellamy murmurs to her, because he knows her very well. 

Clarke glances at him and shrugs, ever so slightly sheepish about it. "I don't know. I guess it's nice to have them through the rough times, yeah, but it's better like this. I do like it." 

"I do, too." 

"Maybe it's something we'll be lucky enough to get used to. It could become a regular thing." 

"Maybe," Bellamy agrees softly. "I hope so." 

"A lot of that going around." Clarke quirks a smile at him. "Hope, I mean." 

Bellamy huffs a short laugh. "Yeah, seems like. Did you ever think we'd get here? Reach this point? Did you imagine we wouldn't be the ones who led our people to peace?" 

"No," Clarke admits in a whisper, flicking her gaze down to where his fingers lightly run over the engraved names on her bracelet. "I always thought it would be me. Us. This little group, whatever. I hoped it would be, so that everything we've done could have been worth it. I know it's selfish, but…"

"It's not," Bellamy says earnestly, leaning forward to duck his head and catch her gaze. His hand raises from her bracelet to cup her cheek. "To want to bring everyone peace is the absence of selfishness, even if it's partially for your own gain. We did what we did, and we're here now, so maybe we had a hand in getting us here." 

"Or maybe we're the reason it was so hard to get here in the first place, why it took so long." 

"I prefer to see it my way." 

Clarke stares into his eyes, warm and brown, the corners of his lips curling up. "Yeah, I like your way better. Whatever the truth is, I don't think it matters anymore. We're here. We should be okay now." 

"We will be," Bellamy murmurs. 

"Hey!" Murphy calls out, throwing a callisto berry at them to make them jerk apart. "What the hell are you two whispering about over there?" 

"Not another Clarke and Bellamy plan cooking up," Raven teases, winking at them. "We've had enough to last us a lifetime." 

Bellamy chuckles. "No, nothing like that. Just, uh, thinking about how far we've all come." 

"Pretty damn long way," Harper says with a snort. She brings the back of Monty's hand to her lips to smack a kiss to it. "We were all so  _ young.  _ What I wouldn't give to talk to myself then as I am now."

"What would you say?" Emori asks curiously. 

Harper pauses, then blinks. "A lot. Too much. I'd tell her that it's okay if she cries in the cage. I'd tell her to hug Monroe one more time. And I'd tell her when the acid rain would start, so she could warn everyone and leave no one behind." 

"Oh, this game is fun," Raven decides with a sarcastic smile. "I'd tell my younger self not to take a fucking Space walk. I'd tell her that Finn would break her heart, to prepare for it, and I'd make sure she never swallows that chip, no matter what." 

"I'd tell him to save Jasper," Monty whispers, looking down at his hand in Harper's. "Even if he didn't want to be saved, because one day he could have changed his mind. And—and I'd tell him not to shoot his mom, not to kill." 

Clarke swallows thickly and glances down to the dirt that's staining her pants, joining all the other stains. The mood takes a sharp nosedive, and she searches for any way to lift it again. People are no longer smiling, and Clarke's heart clenches. 

"I would have told her not to kill Echo. To never go into those woods to play." Echo still doesn't show anything in her face, not even when everyone looks at her in confusion. She doesn't elaborate. "I would have told her to never interfere in the Conclave." 

Emori clears her throat and lifts her gloved hand with a small smirk. "I'd tell little Emori not to worry about this shit because it doesn't really matter, not in the long run, not the way everyone told her it did. And I'd tell her to save her brother, somehow, if she could. I'd also tell her to run in the opposite direction when she meets a dirty, sarcastic asshole with eyes too big for his head." 

"Hey!" Murphy lightly shoves her shoulder, but his lips are twitching with amusement. He leans forward to cross his eyes at her. "Shut up, you love my eyes. And I was crossing the desert with no water source,  _ of course  _ I was dirty." 

"Oh yeah?" Emori bites her lips and reaches out with her gloved hand to drag him closer until their noses brush. "What's your excuse now, John?" 

"You like it," Murphy murmurs with a smirk, leaning forward to kiss her. 

Emori laughs and lets it happen before she pushes him away with a roll of her eyes. "And I guess I do like your eyes, just a little." 

"What about you, then, Bellamy?" Murphy asks, swiveling his head around lazily to raise his eyebrows at Bellamy. "Anything you'd like to tell your younger self? Anything like, I don't know, maybe  _ don't let people hang John Murphy, asshole?"  _

Bellamy chuckles roughly and reaches out to lightly kick Murphy in the leg. "That, I guess. Among other things. I'd tell him… I guess I'd tell him to respect Octavia, to give her some credit, to trust her more. Probably tell him to walk away from Pike without ever looking back. I'd tell him to save Gina, and Lincoln, and Peter and Mark, and—and…" He pauses, slowly glancing over at Clarke, his face softening slightly. "I'd tell him to save everyone he could, and I'd tell him to check on Clarke frequently, to give her some more credit. As steady as she is, she needs to be worried about, too." 

"How sweet," Raven teases as Murphy fake-gags, though he's laughing. "Clarke, what about you?" 

Clarke's throat positively closes up, and she freezes in place, going tense in Bellamy's arms. She doesn't think she'll answer, but she opens her mouth as everyone stares at her curiously, and she does. 

"I'd tell a younger Clarke to…to forgive her mom sooner," Clarke whispers. "I'd tell her to save Wells, to help Charlotte, to keep everyone from hanging Murphy, to never sleep with Finn. I'd tell her to help everyone escape Mount Weather some other way, to never pull that lever. I'd make sure she knew that she'd be killing Jasper if she didn't. I'd tell her to stay, to not leave Arkadia, to heal. I'd tell her to knock Lexa out of the way of that bullet, to make sure Murphy got out of Polis when she did, to destroy A.L.I.E. quicker so that more people could survive  _ Praimfaya.  _ I'd tell her to stop trying to bear it so everyone else didn't have to, because everyone has to bear it to learn from it, to do better, and they'll feel it all in the end anyway. I'd tell her that she's not a Hero, that she's trying her best, but it won't be enough...and that's okay." 

Everyone falls silent. 

Clarke looks around at everyone, watching the curiosity in their faces slowly seep away, eyes brightening with a new understanding of who she is. It hits her then that she's never really allowed people—her people, her friends—to see this side of her. They don't know how often she falls apart, or how heavily guilt weighs on her. No one knows that but Bellamy and her mother. 

They have no idea how the names of the people she couldn't save clog her throat every day. They never realize that she feels pricks under her skin with the urge to save the countless people she's condemned to death. They're not aware that she feels fear and regret, that she's given so much of herself for them in so many ways, that she makes mistakes just like every other human being. Maybe she's never fully shown them, maybe they don't pay attention, but whatever it is...now they know. 

"Well," Murphy says lightly, "I'd tell little John to buckle up because he's got a long way to go, and he deserves everything he gets. Oh, and to keep the attitude because it suits him, also not to worry because we get the hot girls in the end, so not only do we survive, but we  _ win."  _

That breaks the moment, and multiple people groan through their laughter, reluctantly amused. Emori laughs brightly and kisses Murphy fiercely, winking at Raven when she pulls away. Monty shakes his head, and Harper pats his arm sympathetically. Echo even quirks another one of her rare smiles, gone before it's fully formed, but there nonetheless. 

Clarke feels her body relax like all of her strings have been cut, and she slumps into Bellamy with a soft sigh. He presses a tender kiss to the side of her head. She lets him. In fact, she tilts her chin up to catch his lips with her own, kissing him with forgiveness and love and so many other endless things they'll never be able to voice. He kisses her back, and something seems to pop in her, like a string pulled so taut that's finally broken, allowing her to take a deep breath without strain. 

When they pull apart, she exhales. 

That's oddly nice, too. 

* * *

The next few days seem to pass at a sluggish rate, slipping by slowly. They're all dragged along into a new routine, and Clarke lets herself fall into it. 

She wakes up, gets ready, and goes out to get her orders. Madi and Bellamy join her. Indra has kept the same system that Octavia put into place as far as building, the same scheduled breaks and so on. Bellamy's already used to this, so Clarke follows his lead, sweating in the heat as she helps everyone build up the Village. She eats lunch with family and friends, then checks on Madi while she's relaxing with the other children after lunch. By the time dinner rolls around, she's exhausted and ready for bed, getting through dinner with drooping eyes and delirious laughter as everyone cracks jokes. 

The Village itself starts to come a long way. The outer rings of houses slowly start expanding until there are hundreds stretching farther and farther out. More tree houses are built, and there's something oddly funny about the original Grounders taking a liking to them, enjoying the privacy and the shelter it provides—it also puts them on the front lines should anyone ever attack, and they're the alarm system. They build an extra wall outlining the cliffside so people won't get close enough to fall off, and the center of the Village is turned into a sort of marketplace. There are multiple Blacksmiths, multiple food stockpiles, and Raven even succeeded in getting the irrigation system doing. 

There's more, of course. People start setting up huts in the center, trading things of all kinds—wooden dishes for art, self-made jewelry for new clothes, leather for metal, all sorts of things. There's something strangely amazing about watching people trade and come together to share their things, a clear sign that this community wants to thrive. 

Indra takes to the leader role very well, delegating and ensuring that everything goes smoothly. She doesn't allow the power to get to her head, and she helps with building and goes on patrols just like everyone else. Octavia follows her without hesitation, seemingly more at ease in her new role without much power, but the respect that Wonkru has for her remains. Less people seem afraid, though, and that seems to relax her. 

Clarke finds her footing again with Bellamy. She does it through quiet conversation and little slices of intimacy they search out, sneaking moments simply to get lost in each other. It's not always sex, but sometimes it is. Sometimes, it's them closing the door to their house and moaning into each other's mouths as their bodies do the talking. Other times, it's the two of them ignoring everyone else to take a walk around the Village and talk, holding hands, finding buildings to hide behind where they can kiss and whisper promises to each other. 

Learning to cope and heal from the sight of what Madi did is a process, and Clarke imagines that it will take a long time before they're not watching her with fear. They do their best, however. They have a lot of talks with her, sit her down and try to make sure she knows how important she is, how much she's loved. Madi, for her part, just tells them not to worry and hugs them as tightly as possible until they slowly start to relax. At this point, time is about the only thing that will settle them.

And that's how it goes. 

Day after day, they all come together to find peace, learn that they help foster it, realize how to accept it and let it flourish. It's a slow start, but oh so worth it, and Clarke breathes easy on the journey. 

About a week and a half later, Clarke makes the decision to go visit their sister Village—as people have taken to calling it. She checks in with Indra first to make sure she's not needed for any projects, and once she's cleared, she goes to see who else might join her for the day. 

Madi, of course, practically jumps at the chance. Bellamy decides to take a break and go with them. A few people in Wonkru actually offer to join just to see how the Eligius Village is coming along—Murphy, Emori, Raven, Miller, and Jackson among them. 

The most surprising addition, though… 

As Clarke is helping everyone get situated in the Rover, she feels someone tap her on her shoulder. "Yeah?" she asks, turning around. 

"Got room for one more?" Octavia asks carefully. 

"You want to come?" Clarke blurts out in surprise, her eyebrows raising. 

Octavia merely nods. "Yes." 

"Well, yeah, sure," Clarke finally says. She pokes her head into the Rover, looking in the back. "Hey, Raven, sit in Murphy's lap and make room for Octavia. She's coming with us." 

Raven grins. "Oh, hell yeah. Move it or lose it, Murphy. I'm about to stretch out and  _ nap."  _

There's some shuffling as Octavia hauls herself in the seat, nodding tersely at everyone. Murphy grumbles under his breath when Raven plops in his lap and stretches her legs out over everyone else's lap in the seat, her feet depositing in Octavia's. At first, it looks like Octavia is going to protest, but then she just sighs and looks out the window. 

"Hey, Aunty O," Madi says cheerfully. 

Octavia's lips twitch. "Hey, Madi." 

"Everyone ready?" Bellamy checks, his lips curling up in approval as he sweeps his gaze over everyone in the back, getting nods. He raises his eyebrows to Clarke in the passenger seat, and when she nods, he cranks the Rover and pulls away. 

About halfway there, a small bickering match breaks out between everyone in the back, which somehow spurs Bellamy and Clarke to start bickering up front about directions. It spirals quickly. 

"No, Bellamy, what I'm  _ saying  _ is, you should have taken the path near the river," Clarke tells him slowly, heaving a sigh when he shakes his head. 

"Clarke, Clarke,  _ listen  _ to me," Bellamy insists, jerking his hand to the windshield, "Going adjacent to the  _ lake  _ is quicker." 

"Who has taken this route the most?" 

"You've taken the  _ longer  _ route the most. No wonder you all always got back so late." 

Clarke glares at him. "Go float yourself, Bellamy. You're going to try and tell me I don't know which way to go? This path wraps  _ around  _ towards the back of the Eligius Village.  _ My  _ path takes us straight to the front, so don't even start." 

"You still have to avoid the trees that are too clumped on the way, which adds  _ at least  _ fifteen minutes to the trip." Bellamy scoffs when Clarke makes an argumentative sound. "No, no, I drove all over the Valley, Clarke. I know what I'm talking about, okay?" 

In the back, the bickering grows louder. 

"Miller, I swear to—" 

"Raven, if you don't move your fucking elbow from my side, I will—" 

"Hey, watch your mouth! You're, like,  _ five."  _

"Shut up, Murphy, like you can talk." 

"Can we all just calm down?" 

"Babe, I love you, but I'm about to lose my mind if you don't get your chin off my shoulder. Jackson, I'm sorry, but it's  _ pointy."  _

"Clarke, make Madi stop yanking on my brace! Stop it, that shit  _ hurts,  _ you little—" 

"Well, if you'd  _ move  _ your damn elbow!" 

"Bell, I'm going to start stabbing people back here if you don't get them to shut up." 

_ "You  _ shut up, Octavia. No one's scared of the pointy end of your swords anymore, haven't you heard?" 

"You're  _ about _ to be, Murphy, if you don't—" 

"Hey!" Clarke calls out, whirling around and glaring at everyone grumbling in the back. "Everyone shut up for one second." She huffs and turns back to Bellamy, ignoring it when the bickering immediately starts back behind her. "You  _ think  _ you know what you're talking about, Bellamy, but you're actually wrong. Just because  _ you  _ can't maneuver the trees all clumped together doesn't mean I—" 

"You've been going through the trees?" Bellamy cuts her off, aghast. "Clarke, you can't do that! Do you know how hard it is to repair these solar panels? If one of these  _ break—"  _

"They  _ won't,"  _ Clarke interrupts with a scowl. "I know how to drive." 

"You really don't," Bellamy mutters. 

Clarke rolls her eyes. "That's not the point. The  _ point  _ is that my route is quicker  _ and  _ shorter, and you're taking the long way." 

"Wrong again," Bellamy snaps. "I obviously know where I'm going. And can—fuck, shut  _ up  _ back there! I will stop the Rover, don't think I won't!" 

The bickering in the back falls silent. 

After a beat, Madi leans forward and says, "You're both wrong, by the way. The quickest route to the sister Village is through the clearing about midpoint between the lake and river. It has that path we cut down about three years ago, remember?" 

Clarke and Bellamy also fall silent. 

After another longer beat, a slightly mortified one, Clarke mumbles, "She's right." 

"Yeah, I know," Bellamy mutters with a sigh. 

This time, the silence that follows lasts for the rest of the drive to the Eligius Village, though snickers and giggles regularly break out from the back. Clarke shares a small smile with Bellamy, and they both roll their eyes goodnaturedly and sigh. 

* * *

The Eligius Village seems to be coming along as well, for the most part. It's clear that not everyone here is accustomed to building as most Grounders are, and they certainly don't have the numbers that Wonkru has, but they're doing good despite that. 

A lot of them are resorting to sleeping in the ship, which makes a strange kind of ironic sense to Clarke. It reminds her of the original hundred taking to living out of the dropship, in a way. 

Besides, with Diyoza leading, things get done. 

Most of everyone split off to their own destinations. Murphy and Emori have actually made friends here with the times they've come while everyone was trying to work out how to heal the sick Eligius crew. The Wonrku members who have come with curiosity follow Murphy and Emori around to meet people as well, and Raven ducks off to go find Shaw to bother. Madi immediately wants to go see Diyoza with Octavia, but Clarke and Bellamy make her come visit Abby and Kane first. She grumbles about it, but she follows. 

"Mom!" Clarke calls out, knocking on the door of the house that Abby had settled in. 

It takes a moment, but Kane eventually opens the door with his eyebrows raised. "Clarke, hey. Is everything alright?" 

"Yeah," Clarke says easily. She lightly squeezes Madi's shoulder and smiles. "We just wanted to come visit you two. Is Mom here?" 

"I'm here!" Abby calls out. "Come on in." 

Clarke leads Madi in while Bellamy lingers near the door to speak in low tones with Kane. Abby is already starting tea, smiling at them as they approach. Clarke can't help but notice how tired her mother looks, a bit weathered now from the addiction and sobriety. She looks healthier, sure, but she also looks exhausted. 

"How are you feeling, Mom?" Clarke asks gently, leading Madi to a chair to sit down in. 

Abby nods as she pulls down the few wooden bowls that got left behind. "Better. Definitely better. Just kind of...old, honestly." She laughs a little and shakes her head. "But I'm good. Getting better every day. How are you? How is everyone?" 

"Good. Everyone's doing good. Yeah, the Wonkru Village is coming along really well. Indra has been doing a really good job taking over for Octavia." 

"I heard about that. Diyoza told us. Her and Indra have apparently had a few meetings over radio about Wonkru possibly sparing volunteers to help us build soon. So, that's...it's nice." 

"It is," Clarke agrees softly. "Mom, it's okay. No one's saying you have to like Octavia or Wonkru." 

Abby shakes her head. "No, it's not like that. I promise it isn't. I just—I've given a lot of thought to everything that happened, and I guess… Well, I realized that I wasn't necessarily right about everything. Octavia was—" 

"Mom," Clarke interrupts, "stop it. No one was right, not Octavia, not Kane,  _ no one.  _ Everyone's learning to adjust from being wrong, that's all." 

"When did you get so wise?" Abby murmurs, her lips curling up as she offers Clarke some tea. 

Clarke shrugs and laughs. "Oh, you know, I hear it comes with having a lot of life experience." 

"You're still so young, Clarke. You have a lot more life to live, please don't forget that." 

"I won't. You still have a long way to go, too, so don't go thinking any different." 

Abby chuckles. "Sure, sure. How's she doing?" She nods her head to where Madi has gotten up from her chair to inch closer to Bellamy and Kane. "Marcus told me what happened. You must be so…" 

"It's—we're adjusting," Clarke says again, swallowing thickly. "It's hard. I've never been that scared in my entire life, you know. Everything we've ever been through, and that fucked me up the most."

"I know the feeling," Abby tells her softly. "You were always so in the middle of the danger. It's a different type of fear, that's for sure." 

Clarke sits the tea down, sighing. "I get it now. I mean, there are still things that I—that you shouldn't have done, but I know why you did them. If it makes you feel any better, I think a lot about how you handled things, and it helps." 

"Avoiding my mistakes?" Abby asks, amused. 

"Well, yes," Clarke answers with a snort. She smiles at her mom, her face softening. "That, and I think about all the times you've been there for me, and it helps me be a better mother to her."

Abby's face splits into a wide smile, and she suddenly looks ten years younger. "You're a wonderful mother, Clarke, but even more than that, you're a wonderful  _ woman."  _

Clarke hums. "Took a while to start believing that myself, and I still struggle with it sometimes, but I think something close to that. I used to think I had to be  _ more,  _ that I couldn't just try my best and let that be enough. These days, I just look at Madi and Bellamy, and I realize my best is more than enough for them. For me, that's all that matters." 

"It's nice to see you so happy," Abby whispers. 

"Want to know something funny? The last six years or so before everyone got back, I  _ was  _ happy. Even happier than I am right now. But it wasn't—Mom, it wasn't perfect then, either. Madi got hurt sometimes. Bellamy and I made mistakes  _ often.  _ We missed everyone, and we had to learn to do better with everything from fighting to raising a child." Clarke shakes her head and laughs softly. "That's the thing, I think. There's not some perfect world where we get to be happy and safe all the time. There's just the world we're given, the people we know, and we have to find our own happiness in the midst of everything else." 

"I'm glad you've learned that," Abby murmurs, reaching across the counter to squeeze Clarke's hand. "To tell you the truth, I didn't know that until this last week with Marcus. It isn't perfect, and it never will be, but we're happy." 

"That's good. He's good for you, and you're good for him," Clarke tells her. 

"Well, you're one to talk. I don't think I've seen anyone better suited than you and Bellamy Blake. Have you always…?" 

"Honestly? I feel like I've always loved him. I feel like I've been in love with him since forever, really. And then, sometimes, I look at him and feel like I'm falling in love with him for the first time all over again. It's strange, because I don't remember falling in the first place. It was always just...there." 

Abby smiles warmly and shakes her head. "It's cute. You've always been very different about love. You'll give it endlessly to everyone, but to the intimate extent, you hold yourself back." 

"Finn," Clarke mumbles. "Lexa. If that isn't explanation enough, I don't know what is." 

"Don't regret loving them, Clarke." 

"I don't." 

"I've never regretted loving your father," Abby says softly, her tone low. "Him being gone doesn't mean I shouldn't love Marcus." 

"It took me a year to come to terms with that," Clarke says with a weak laugh. "And even then, I still had to wait until Bellamy made the first move. It's just really hard to—to heal, sometimes." 

Abby nods. "Yes, and we know that better than most. We've seen enough wounds to know how deeply they bleed, but never forget the way the wound will eventually knit itself back together. It just needs time and care, just like we do." 

"Who's the wise one now?" Clarke jokes. 

"Well, I do have a bit more life experience than you do," Abby teases, her smile growing. 

"Clarke," Madi says, suddenly appearing at her side, tugging on her elbow. "Can I go see Aunty O and Diyoza now,  _ please?"  _

"Octavia is here?" Abby asks in surprise, straightening up a bit. 

Clarke nods. "Yes, she is. And no, not yet, Madi. You've been here for  _ five  _ minutes. You could at least speak to Kane or my mom." 

Madi smacks her teeth, rolls her eyes, and then plasters on a smile as she looks at Abby. "Hi." 

Amused, Abby says, "Hey, Madi." 

"There," Madi declares. "Can I go now?" 

"Let her go," Abby says with a chuckle, waving a hand lazily. "She'll be  _ fine."  _

Madi, having clearly sensed that Abby is now an ally, perks up quickly. "Yeah, Clarke, listen to your  _ mom."  _

"Go sit down," Clarke tells her, unimpressed. 

Madi does, grumbling the whole way. 

"Well," Abby says with a grin, "the irony in seeing that is something else, let me tell you. I will take great enjoyment in spoiling her when she eventually gets around to liking me. I'll work on it." 

"Mom, she doesn't  _ not  _ like you," Clarke says awkwardly, then she sighs. "Also, please don't spoil her. The others do that enough already,  _ especially  _ Octavia. And Murphy, too, surprisingly enough."

"Doesn't surprise me." Abby leans over as Kane and Bellamy approach. She wraps her arm around Kane, not even in breaking stride in the conversation. "He's come a long way. All of you have. I remember when you all were just...delinquents." 

"Who told you any different?" Bellamy asks easily, coming to stand beside Clarke. He winks at her playfully. "We still are."

Clarke glances over her shoulder at Madi, who is exuding very delinquent behavior as she sulks in the chair, holding up strands of her hair that she blows between rolling her eyes. Then she looks back to her mother, who's leaning into Kane with a small smile, healthy and tired and happy. She reaches down to grab Bellamy's hand, her lips curling up. 

"We always will be." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm generally not the type to slander anybody so openly and freely but fuck jroth 😔
> 
> Drop me some kudos comments if you're feeling it, y'all ❤ See ya next Thursday


	10. The Utopia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, y'all...there's only one more chapter. I'm so emotional 😩😭

When the school gets built, Bellamy gets everyone absolutely  _ plastered,  _ as per Clarke's hooch—now with the added help of Monty's ingenuity. 

It...takes a lot of hooch. 

Over the last month, a routine has cropped up that everyone has fallen into. Get up, build, have lunch, build, dinner, and then bed. That, again and again and  _ again.  _ Only, there are brief lulls where some will take a trip to the Eligius Village—or the sister Village, depending on who you ask—and visit people or help build there, with Indra's permission. 

Clarke and Bellamy are usually in this group, just so they can take Madi to see Abby and Kane, as well as the Eligius people they've grown fond of. Murphy and Emori usually come along as well, just because they get along with a good amount of the questionable people in the Eligius crew, which comes as an absolute surprise to no one. And, surprisingly, Octavia goes every chance she gets, just to sit and talk with Diyoza. 

Still, despite the brief lulls, the Wonkru Village has come a long way in the last month. All the houses are built, including the ones in the trees, so no one is sleeping on the ground anymore. There's enough weapons and ammo to go around for everyone, as well as security measures in place in case of attack, though more and more people seem to settle in the doubt that an attack will ever happen. More and more food is stored up every day, enough to get the whole Village through weeks without hunting or gathering, and Raven's irrigation system has worked wonders—people can actually take showers now and use outdated, wooden toilets that a mass of people came together to build and provide to the people. 

So, the school has been pretty low on the list from the beginning, which signals that they're reaching a point that building will start to slow. A major bonus is that the kids will actually start learning, and many of them in Wonkru  _ desperately  _ need to. A lot of them don't know how to read, which is saddening. 

Once the last board is put in place for the school, Bellamy has everyone closest to him get together to get completely and utterly drunk. He even takes the smart route and has Madi stay the night with Ethan under Gaia and Indra's supervision, which had taken some mild pleading and promises of favors, but it's completely worth it in the end. 

The first person to get fully drunk is Raven. She wobbles and falls on her ass while Emori tries her absolute best to catch her, only to fail. For a split second, everyone pauses to gauge how Raven will handle this, and then she busts out laughing. 

"I should have been sitting the whole time," Raven declares. "This is  _ wonderful."  _

This rouses bright bursts of laughter that has other Wonkru members passing by give them strange looks. Octavia slinks back like she's trying her hardest not to be noticed. 

"Drink more," Bellamy tells her. 

Octavia obligingly takes another swallow out of her canteen, arching an eyebrow. "Telling me to drink  _ more,  _ Bell? Who are you and what have you done with my brother?" 

"Shh,  _ shh,"  _ Raven says urgently, leaning forward to press a finger to Octavia's lips. Octavia jerks back, her eyebrows jumping up her forehead, but that just makes Raven laugh. "No, no, none of that. We're having  _ fun,  _ dear Octavia. Just shh, and let it happen. No past-talk today, mmkay?" 

"She makes a strong argument," Murphy agrees sardonically, reaching out to gingerly pull Raven back and settle her firmly between him and Emori so she won't fall over. 

Clarke nods and quirks a small smile. "That she does. Case in point." 

When Clarke proceeds to tip her canteen back and take heavy gulps, everyone breaks out into approving whoops, encouraging her. She pulls it away a moment later, grimacing, and she has to cover her mouth around a cough. Bellamy watches her fondly and rubs her back in soothing circles. 

"Okay, okay," Raven says with a chuckle, "I'm breaking my own rule for a  _ little  _ bit of past-talk. Younger Clarke is frowning right now. She doesn't know why, but she can sense the fun and is very disapproving of it." 

Clarke scoffs. "Go float yourself, Raven." 

"Already did," Raven sing-songs, grinning. 

"Did it look different?" Octavia asks abruptly, turning to look at Raven and the others. "Space, I mean. When you went back, did it look different than it was before we came to the ground?" 

Monty makes a sound of consideration. "No, not really. It's—I mean, it always looks different down here, but up there…" 

"S'big," Harper slurs, hiccupping. 

That cracks everyone up, and even Octavia snorts in amusement. Echo fiddles with her canteen, nursing it slowly, but she says, "It was the first time I saw it like that. I didn't know it would be...dark." 

"You miss the sun, yeah," Emori agrees. She idly rubs Raven's shoulder. "It's pretty, though. Terrifying, but awesome." 

"Kinda like the ground," Clarke muses. 

"I like the ground better," Bellamy says, pressing a quick kiss to Clarke's cheek, grinning when she blushes like they haven't been together for years. 

"I miss it, sometimes." Harper waves her canteen around and laughs brightly. "It was quieter on the ring. Me and Monty had all sorts of places to go to in secret so we could—" 

"Okay, that's enough for you," Monty says gently, slipping the canteen out of her grasp. He clears his throat. "Anyway, what about you, Miller?" 

Everyone turns to where Miller and Jackson are tucked into the corner of the circle, leaning back from everyone else. They appear to be making out quite passionately. 

"Or not," Murphy says dryly. He smirks and picks up a twig, tossing it at them to make them jerk apart. They glare at him. "Hey, this is a group setting, have some  _ manners."  _

"I  _ know  _ you're not talking," Miller snaps. 

Octavia sighs. "Which do you like better? Ground or Space? Just answer the question." 

"I hate it everywhere," Miller mutters. 

Jackson stares at them, unimpressed. "Ground." 

With that, they go back to kissing like they've never been interrupted, and Bellamy chuckles warmly. 

And so it goes. 

They drink the night away, lingering out on a patch of grass pretty far from the first ring of houses. Talking, laughing, slurring words. Getting up to act something out, hobbling, swaying. Leaning on each other, throwing arms around shoulders, heads in laps. Drinking, drinking, drinking some more. 

Bellamy is the last to get drunk, but when he does, he lets himself get a little lost in it. He realizes that he's pretty wasted when he gets distracted by the small scrap of pale skin that shows when Clarke's shirt rides up. Generally, he has a stronger hold on his wandering eyes, especially in a group setting, but being inebriated has made him weak, apparently. 

He drinks some more and reaches out to stroke that portion of her skin. She smacks his hand away,  _ actually  _ giggling, as if she's suddenly a lively teenager again with no concerns or regrets. Her nose wrinkles, and it's just… It's really cute. It's so,  _ so  _ unnecessarily cute that he can't handle it. 

"Don't look at me," Bellamy tells her, reaching out to push her face away gently. 

Clarke slumps over on Echo and stays there. "Fine, I won't. I'm even closing my eyes. See?" 

She doesn't actually close her eyes, but it's clear that she thinks she is because they're drooping very low, so he lets her have that one. He proceeds to look at her for a little while longer until thin fingers are snapping in front of his face to get his attention. 

"Hey, hey, gotta question," Octavia mumbles. She sways a little and blinks slowly. Her eyes are bright in a way that Bellamy hasn't seen in years. "So, um, do you remember that time in Arkadia that you were sleeping in the office that Clarke was always in?" 

Bellamy stares at her fuzzily. "Mhm. I took naps there sometimes, why?" 

"Did you know that—" Octavia hiccups, "—Lincoln and I had sex on that couch?" 

"Naughty girl," Murphy teases, grinning with obvious approval. 

"Didn't need to know that, O," Bellamy mutters, wrinkling his nose at her. 

Octavia waves a hand. "No, no,  _ listen.  _ That's not the point. One time, we did it and I ended up losing my knife behind the couch—" 

"You did it more than once?" Clarke blurts out, surging up with wide eyes. When she speaks again, she sounds aghast.  _ "Octavia!"  _

"We did it a lot. Anyway, again, not the point." Octavia rolls her eyes. "So, I realized I lost my knife, right? I had to go back and get it, but I didn't want to be obvious about it because it was kind of an unspoken rule that only certain people should be in the office." 

"That's true," Monty agrees, raising his canteen and nodding seriously. 

"Well, I hadn't seen you or Clarke for a few hours, but I figured you two were off doing leader stuff," Octavia says, lazily waving her hand again. "I decided to poke my head in and see if you two were gone, and guess what?" 

Bellamy frowns at her. "Was someone else also having sex on that couch?" 

"No, you and Clarke were sleeping together," Octavia informs him with a solemn nod. "It was actually kind of cute. I mean, it looked like you two had started out sitting on opposite ends of the couch, then kind of met in the middle. You had your head slumped on her shoulder, Bell." Octavia smiles slightly, her face softening. "You looked so young." 

"What? That didn't happen," Bellamy murmurs, his eyebrows raising. "I would have remembered that. I never slept cuddled up to Clarke until, like, six years ago." He glances at Clarke to make sure, only to see her face flushed with color. "Wait,  _ did _ I?" 

Clarke clears her throat and does a weird little shrug where her head bobbles as if she thinks it's too big for her body. Definitely drunk. "I mean, yeah? Kind of? We usually sat on the couch together. You read while I drew, but we stayed to our own ends. That day...I dunno what happened. You had kind of leaned into the middle and drifted off, and I did the same thing by accident. When I woke up, your head was on my shoulder and my head was on your head, and it was kind of nice." She blinks, looking a little surprised. "I remember thinking that it was nice. Your hair was soft. I remember that, too. Then I guess I got up and got back to work." 

"Huh," Bellamy grunts, faintly amused and more than a little surprised. His lips curl up, pleased, and he reaches out to catch a strand of Clarke's hair and fiddle with it. "You had a crush on me. That's  _ adorable,  _ Princess." 

"You crashed into a  _ tree,"  _ Clarke reminds him. "Don't even start." 

"Fair point," Bellamy concedes, dropping Clarke's hair with a sigh. 

"We used to have a bet back at the dropship, you know," Miller says in amusement. He shares an amused look with Harper and Monty. "Everyone thought you two were...doing things, so we made a bet on who could catch you two first. That was before everyone died and Clarke left, though. Still, it was kind of entertaining." 

"Oh, are we talking about the longest, most drawn out and ridiculous love story of Bellamy and Clarke? Because I have some  _ gems,"  _ Raven declares, lifting her head from Emori's lap with a grin. 

"Please don't start this again," Bellamy mutters. 

Raven ignores him. "Does everyone remember  _ after  _ Clarke left? Bellamy used to get piss drunk and talk about her for  _ hours.  _ I don't know how Gina put up with it, honestly." 

"You think that's bad?" Monty snorts. "You should have seen Bellamy when he found out Clarke was kidnapped by Roan and he was trying to go save her. He was trying to go on a  _ messed up leg."  _

"Or that time Clarke nearly barreled Bellamy over with how hard she hugged him after running at full speed across the yard at Arkadia," Octavia says. 

"Hey, it was the first time I saw him after I thought I'd killed him!" Clarke blurts out defensively. "That is a logical reaction to that situation." 

"Guys, please," Bellamy mumbles, "this is embarrassing." 

"Yeah, for you two," Murphy says with a smirk, openly relishing in this. "I would like to point out that I saw the 'Bellamy and Clarke' thing  _ first,  _ by the way. It's kind of stupid how long it took you two, actually. Even I didn't wait too long to go for what I wanted." 

"That's because you're a self-serving ass," Emori tells him seriously, her tone strangely fond. 

Murphy winks at her. "Yes, I am, and aren't we so glad for that?" 

"Literally no one is, but okay," Raven mutters, rolling her eyes at him and depositing her head into Emori's lap again. "Hey, you know what other relationship should have happened way sooner than it did?" 

"Say it, I dare you," Murphy encourages, looking down at her in pride like her mischief is born from his wise teachings or something. 

"Please don't say it," Clarke whispers, clearly already knowing where this is going. 

"Abby and Kane," Raven says promptly. When Clarke groans, she laughs brightly. "Hey, I'm just saying what everyone was thinking." 

Clarke huffs and leans back over on Echo, who looks like she's working very hard not to shove Clarke off of her. "Okay, fine, let's play this game. What about you and Wick? It took you two a long time to be a thing. What happened to him anyway? It was like he just disappeared. You didn't kill him, did you?" 

"You'll never know the truth, Griffin," Raven murmurs with a small smile. She waves her hands above her face. "It will always be a mystery."

"If we're exposing each other and ourselves, I would like to point out that Monty was more willing to believe I had been overtaken by A.L.I.E. than the idea that I wanted to have sex with him," Harper says, laughing when Monty groans. 

Monty shakes his head in despair. "I thought we agreed not to talk about that." 

"No shame in that, man," Murphy says easily, drawing suspicious gazes from everyone. "I would have also believed that." 

"Die," Monty mutters while Murphy cackles. 

Raven hums and flaps a hand frantically, shushing everyone. "Hey, hey, do you guys ever think about, like, us getting older and having kids and stuff? One day we're gonna be, you know, really  _ real  _ adults and parents. Isn't that just...insane?" 

"Welcome to my world," Bellamy murmurs dryly. 

"Pfft, you and Clarke don't count," Miller pipes up, picking his head up from Jackson's shoulder to smile at Bellamy. "You two were kind of the really  _ real  _ adults the whole time, plus you two already have a kid. What's that like? Being parents, I mean?" 

Bellamy shares a look with Clarke. 

"Stressful," she says. 

"Draining," he puts in. 

Clarke sighs softly and drags her cheek over Echo's shoulder, her lips curling up. "But oh so rewarding."

"Wouldn't trade it for the world," Bellamy agrees. 

"I think Emori and I would be great parents," Murphy says. "Raven, though? Eh, I think you'd lose the kid." 

"Didn't you try to kill a kid?" 

"You know what, Raven, you can—" 

Emori coughs loudly to make them shut up. "Anyway, yes, I think we'd all be great parents. Just because we know what  _ not  _ to do." 

"Oh, if only it was that simple," Bellamy mumbles. 

"We don't have to worry about that for a long,  _ long  _ time," Harper says, tapping Monty on the chest with a dopey smile. "Well, Bellamy and Clarke do, but that's their problem. For the rest of us, we have our freedom for a bit longer." 

"I think we've got our freedom for the rest of our lives, for the first time in our lives," Clarke says softly, closing her eyes as she snuggles closer to Echo, who seems resigned to the treatment now. 

Bellamy quirks a small smile. He thinks about what Clarke just said, and he finds himself agreeing. 

* * *

Madi looks ready to vibrate out of her skin. Her eyes are wide, and she keeps smacking Ethan frantically on the shoulder as she cranes her head towards the gate. Ethan doesn't look very pleased to be hit over and over, but he doesn't complain. Bellamy admires his calm in the midst of Madi's enthusiasm. 

"Look, it's them!" Madi nearly trips over her feet as she starts forward towards the gate, lugging Ethan along with her.  _ "Finally.  _ It took Emori long enough. She can't drive for shit." 

"When will you teach me?" Ethan asks. 

Madi ignores him. 

"I'll teach you," Bellamy offers kindly.

Ethan smiles slightly. He looks a little shy. "Thanks. I mean, you don't—if you're busy or whatever, you don't have to. It's fine." 

Bellamy sometimes thinks that Ethan is in dire need of male figures in his life. Likely due to the fact that every one he's had has died on him. It's a tragic observation, so Bellamy doesn't say it out loud. 

"Tomorrow afternoon," Bellamy promises. "Just me and you. It'll be fun." 

Ethan tries to hide his relieved smile. He fails spectacularly. "Uh, sure." 

Diyoza emerges from the Rover as Emori puts it in park in its designated spot by the gate. Madi hops in place a bit, but she doesn't run over as Indra approaches Diyoza for a quick conversation. Octavia hovers behind Indra, but she seems to relatively stay out of the discussion. Bellamy watches Diyoza gesture back and forth with Indra. 

Clarke slides out of the Rover at the same time that Shaw and Garrett do. Two Wonkru people emerge with yet another Eligius person, the three of them casually talking. Bellamy marvels on how normal that seems these days. A little over a month ago, seeing that would have been extremely shocking. These days, it's so common that no one looks twice. 

Bellamy perks up as Clarke moves over to them. He reaches out to touch her the moment she draws close enough for him to reach. She allows him to kiss her quickly. "How's Abby and Kane?" he asks. 

"Kane broke his finger trying to help Mom install their toilet." Clarke looks very amused. "He's being hilariously cranky about it. He's an old man, Bellamy. When did that happen?" 

"When the world went to shit, I imagine." 

"You're going to have to be more specific." 

"Garrett!" Madi begins waving frantically, slapping Ethan on his shoulder more excitedly. When Garrett looks up and begins walking over, Madi all but shoves Ethan in delight. "Oh, he's cut his hair! I  _ told  _ him it would look better short. It's about time he took my advice, you know." 

"How's Diyoza feeling?" Bellamy asks Clarke. 

"Well, she's not too terribly excited about leaving the Eligius Village without her watchful eye for a few hours, but she agrees that Eligius people need to feel comfortable coming here. Mom says she's a trooper through the pregnancy, though. Even though her ankles are swelling, she keeps on building," Clarke mutters, shaking her head. 

"Aren't you glad you got to skip the pregnancy part of having a kid?" Bellamy teases. 

Clarke shoots him an amused look. "You have no idea. My heart goes out to Diyoza, it really does." 

"Don't let her hear you say that." 

"Don't plan to." 

"Hey, Madi," Garrett greets as he comes closer, reaching up to pat his shorter hair. "I took your advice. Helen says it looks better." 

"Garrett has a crush on Helen," Madi whispers to Ethan, waggling her eyebrows. 

"I don't know who any of these people are," Ethan replies blandly. 

Bellamy chuckles as Diyoza walks over with Octavia. He smiles at his sister while Diyoza nudges Garrett in the side with a significant look. 

"Oh, right," Garrett blurts out. He clears his throat and steps forward to hold out something wrapped up to Madi. "Christine wanted to give you this. To, um, apologize for calling you a brat." 

"But she is a brat," Ethan mutters. 

Madi whacks him on the shoulder again and rolls her eyes as she grabs the gift. "Christine shouldn't have joked about clearing out important parts of the Valley. It throws everything off. She  _ deserved  _ to be yelled at, and I stand by that." Her eyes brighten, however, when she finds the various clips of all colors that's in the paper. "Well, I mean, we all deserve forgiveness, too. Tell her thank you from me! But still, she can't joke around about burning down trees and stuff." 

"Right, now that that's settled," Diyoza says in amusement, looking between Bellamy and Octavia with her eyebrows raised, "I was promised a tour?" 

"We should start with the tree houses," Octavia decides calmly. 

"I'm coming with you," Madi declares immediately. 

"I actually promised Raven help with something," Clarke murmurs, kissing Bellamy on his cheek. "Go, give them the tour. Find me later. Better offer?" 

"Sounds good to me," Bellamy agrees, watching her head away fondly. 

"Come on," Octavia says, "Indra wants the tour done quickly. The building is almost over." 

Bellamy nods and follows. 

* * *

Octavia smiles a little bit more these days. It pleases Bellamy to no end, though it still manages to surprise him when Dioyoza is generally the cause of it. He hadn't expected them to become such good friends, but they clearly have. 

Madi hangs back with Ethan and Garrett, talking in a very animated fashion as she tries her hand at flower crowns again. Shaw is in front of her, turning around periodically to help her. Bellamy walks beside a woman from the Eligius crew, Nadine, and they say something to each other every now and again. Ahead of them, Diyoza and Octavia are carrying on a full conversation. Bellamy is a little distracted as he watches them. 

Everything has come so far, and it throws him for a loop sometimes. He can easily remember a time when this whole Valley was his, Clarke's, and Madi's. No uncertainty, no threat, no sharing. He looks at the easy way Diyoza cradles her stomach as she walks, the way Octavia's eyes aren't always so haunted these days, the way Madi has more friends than she knows what to do with...and he can't help but be so damn  _ thankful _ that everything changed. 

He thinks back on those days when it was just him, Clarke, and Madi. There is something special about that time for him. It's what has shaped him into the man he is today, and he wouldn't do it differently if he could. He would experience everything all over again, every tear and every laugh, every second of fear and every moment of love. All of it. He would do it again and again, given the chance, just to reach this moment where it makes all of it worth it. 

It's all so worth it. 

"And this…this is the school," Octavia says softly, bringing them all to a halt at the last place on the tour. She glances at Diyoza hesitantly. 

"It's large," Diyoza comments. 

Octavia clears her throat. "We don't—well, there aren't a whole lot of kids between both groups, but Indra and I agreed that it should be large enough to hold both in the future. What I mean is...Hope could come here one day, if you wanted." 

"I see," Diyoza murmurs. 

"It's a bit of a trip from the Eligius Village, sure, but someone will get around to making more vehicles eventually," Octavia continues, almost nervous. "It's only an hour drive if everyone takes Madi's route. I'm just saying that it could be possible, that's all."

Diyoza scans the building for another long beat of consideration, then glances at Octavia. "I think it's a good idea. We'll work out the kinks when Hope gets old enough to worry about it." 

"Right," Octavia says, her shoulders relaxing. She doesn't smile, but Bellamy knows her well enough to know that she is pleased. 

"Well, that's the tour," Bellamy says with an easy grin. "We should head back. Indra is calling a meeting, but I have no idea about what."

"Lead the way," Diyoza replies. 

So, Bellamy turns the group around and walks them back to the more central parts of the Village. Indra had been right about building nearly being done. They're tearing down the long houses that no one sleeps in anymore since everyone has their own houses, and it's mostly installing toilets and showers from here on out. Some people have taken to making renovations of their own houses, including Bellamy. He's building on it to give Madi her own room, a fact that Madi is distinctly pleased about. 

As they head closer to where Indra is speaking with Miller, Cooper, and Monty, Bellamy shoots Clarke a smile when he catches sight of her standing with Emori and Raven as they discuss whatever project they're working on now. Clarke grins back briefly before she's sucked back into the conversation. 

That's another thing that's changed, Bellamy supposes. A while back, being away from Clarke from any amount of time felt like the end of the world and made him anxious. He'd expected to feel upset that the one thing he worried about with everyone returning came to be true. They  _ are  _ busy, and they often find themselves accosted by other people throughout the day, leaving them spending time apart. 

But the thing is...this is who they  _ are.  _ They're leaders. They're important to their people, needed for so many different things. They're regularly stopped by Indra or Octavia for advice. The idea of that used to put him off, but now he realizes that it's not necessarily a bad thing. He and Clarke have their many roles, not just  _ parents,  _ not just people who've made mistakes, but people that others flock to, a source of respect and comfort. Sure, it keeps them separated sometimes, but never for long. They always come back together at the end of the day, all that more thankful for each other because of it. 

"Done with the tour?" Monty asks brightly as the little group comes to a halt in front of them. 

"Yep," Madi confirms cheerfully. 

Month beams at them. "Wonderful. I've just come up with a way to expand the farm."

"Good for you, Monty," Bellamy says supportively. 

Indra steps forward. "As for you, Diyoza, I want to gift you and your people the material from the long houses. We have no use for it, but I'm sure you'd appreciate the chopped and shaped wood."

"We would, actually," Diyoza says sardonically, rolling her eyes. "You wouldn't believe the number of people at the Village who've nearly chopped off their fingers because they don't know how to swing an axe. Abby's getting tired of doing stitches." 

"We'll bring it all over in trips," Indra vows. "That's not the only thing. Soon, I'll be making an announcement that my people may volunteer to go in large groups to help your people finish building. If no one offers to go, you'll have to accept that. If they do, you'll need to provide them with food and water while they're there, if you can." 

"That's acceptable," Diyoza agrees. She pauses, then dips her head in open respect. "And thank you."

"Again, no one may choose to go," Indra reiterates, arching an eyebrow. "I grant my people their free will to choose. Do not take it personally if they have no desire to help their neighbors."

"I won't." Diyoza snorts. "Though, it is nice that you give your people freedom. I try to do the same, but a good majority of my people would cut their fingers off if I left them to their own devices."

"How many fingers do you think will be missing when we go back?" Shaw asks in amusement. 

Diyoza sighs. "I'd rather not think about it." 

Bellamy chuckles as everyone else does. Indra doesn't, but her lips do curl up, clearly amused. It's no secret that many of the people in Eligius crew embrace their freedom and allow it to fuel their idiocy, and it's a running joke. However, it's also known that nearly everyone in Eligius crew has depth to them. Despite being criminals, they're really all just people, just like everyone in Wonkru, just like the original hundred. Bellamy thinks about that a lot, about the way everyone has their flaws and mistakes, but very few are horrible and rotten to the core. Everyone has their redemption, they just have to be willing to take it. 

It makes him think, briefly, of the small changes in Wonkru. It's slow to start over this past month, but Indra truly does allow people their freedom. More and more people have started showing up with Gaia to worship the  _ fleim,  _ praying to it and praising the past Commanders, and Indra never once looks down on them for it, nor does she allow others to. If anything, that makes people respect her more. 

Everything seems to be working out perfectly. It feels like a dream, but he knows it's real. There are moments when issues arise, of course. People getting into spats when someone steals something from someone else. Indra handles that, too. Bellamy imagines that Octavia standing at Indra's back, gripping her sword and awaiting a command, is a good motivator for people to do the right thing. 

Still, despite everything, despite how smoothly things are going, Bellamy is still blown away an hour later when Indra addresses Wonkru and gives people the option to help Eligius crew build. 

Hundreds of hands go up. 

"Well, I'll be damned," Diyoza breathes out as she stares around at the wave of hands that are in the air when Indra asks for volunteers. 

Bellamy grins at her. "You said it right, Diyoza. This can be a utopia. Looks like it will be." 

"Well," Diyoza murmurs, "we have been careful, I will say that. Not gonna lie to you, Bellamy, I really didn't expect it to work." 

"I told you our working relationship could get warmer with time," Bellamy teases. 

Diyoza shoots him a small smirk. "And your positive outlook is still very entertaining." 

"Admit it," Bellamy tells her softly, "we've done it. We've found the peace we were trying so hard for, and we did it without war."

"It took a while, but we did," Diyoza agrees, her face softening. "Against all the odds, we did." 

* * *

"What are we doing?" Madi asks for what might be the hundredth time. 

Bellamy shoots Clarke a small smile. "We already told you, Madi. You'll see when we get there." 

"Which should be right about…" Clarke waits for the Rover to pull through the trees. "Now." 

Madi leans forward to squint out the front windshield, frowning. "The ridge? Why are we coming back to the ridge in the middle of the night? Seriously, you two are being weird again." 

_ "Jos gyon au,"  _ Clarke says with a roll of her eyes. 

"You get out," Madi grumbles, even as she opens the door and piles out when they do. She walks around the Rover, then sucks in a sharp breath. "Woah." 

Bellamy can't help but grin at her astonishment. He and Clarke actually worked pretty hard on this, to be fair. They'd made two trips out here to put out the sheet on the edge of the ridge, lighting candles and laying out food. There's padding for everyone to lay down and look up at the blanket of stars. It's quiet, untouched by the bustle of either Villages, sheltered away from the feeling of others. It's a small piece of what once was, a little spot for the three of them to lay down and bask in the moment of their memories before other people joined them in the Valley. 

Even if things worked out, even if things are good now, it still feels nice to take slices of time to be a family hidden away from the world. It's different now, but that doesn't mean they can't have this. 

"You like it?" Clarke asks, reaching out to smooth a hand down Madi's hair. 

Madi blinks at them. "Is it my birthday?" 

"No, no," Bellamy laughs, "we've still got a while to go before you're thirteen. Don't rush it, please." 

Clarke nudges Madi forward. "Come on." 

They arrange themselves like motion memory. Bellamy can remember how they used to lay out, alone in the world, cuddled up together under the canopy of the trees of their home. That feels like years ago, but in reality, it's only been a month and a half. The world has changed so swiftly, and with it, they've adjusted. There are some parts that they're not eager to move on from, however, and this is one of them. 

Clarke leans into Bellamy with a small smile, her head falling back as she looks at him in a pleased fashion. Bellamy fiddles with her bracelet with an equally pleased smile of his own as Madi splays over their laps. She blinks up at the stars, her face soft with her own little smile. Contentment envelops them as they sit as the little family that they are. 

For just this moment, they're the only ones who exist. Bellamy pushes everyone else to the back of his mind and holds the love of his life and his child. He holds them and breathes, his eyes sinking shut with pure relief at the feeling. When things got so complicated, he worried he'd never have this again, but here they are… 

It's everything to him. 

"Hey," Madi says softly. 

Bellamy opens his eyes. "Hmm?" 

Madi looks up at him in faint amusement. "Will you tell me a story?" she whispers fondly. 

Clarke chuckles quietly. "Yeah, Bellamy, won't you tell us a story? Oh, how I've missed your stories."

"Alright," Bellamy murmurs. He kisses Clarke on the forehead before dipping down to do the same to Madi. When he pulls back up, he's grinning. "I've got just the story. There was once a little  _ natblida,  _ and she was all alone. Until, one day, she found two people and saved them without even knowing it…"

* * *

The lock  _ works.  _

Bellamy could kiss Raven for making it, could kiss Murphy and Emori for installing it, could kiss Monty and Harper for coming up with the idea. He'd kiss them all for the simple fact that there is now a  _ lock on his door,  _ meaning he can kiss Clarke in peace without interruption. 

He takes advantage of it. Frequently. 

Clarke yelps in delight when Bellamy tosses her down on their bed and proceeds to crawl up the length of her body. She needs next to no time to link her ankles around his waist, humming in approval and amusement when he instantly starts sucking marks into her neck. 

"Bellamy,  _ Bellamy,"  _ she says with a breathless laugh, squirming beneath him, "I really need to—" 

"No, I got this." Bellamy shushes her when she starts a weak protest. He  _ knows  _ she has things she should be working on with Raven, just like Monty is expecting him to come help with the farm. But they're here now, and there's  _ a lock.  _ A lock! 

"Okay, yes, that's—oh, that's nice," Clarke breathes out, her head falling back as his hands push up her shirt so he can get his lips around a nipple. He gently nips at it, and she hisses sharply. 

Bellamy spares a brief moment to be thankful that there's a lock on the door and Madi has taken the Rover to the Eligius Village with Ethan in tow, because anyone who tried walking in right now would be getting an eyeful. He  _ relishes  _ in the fact that no one can, that he has Clarke all to himself. A fucking lock. Why hadn't he thought of that? He's very stupid,  _ so very  _ stupid. 

"Forget anything else for a while," Bellamy says in between kisses as he slowly mouths his way down her soft, quivering stomach. 

Clarke hums as he starts tugging on her pants, and her hand delves into his hair. "Yeah, okay," she agrees, the last word pitching into a whine as he gets his mouth on her, just the way she likes. 

Needless to say, they don't get to where they're supposed to go until over an hour later, but Bellamy doesn't care one bit. 

Locks are miracles, and he stands by that.

* * *

Bellamy finds Octavia just as the sun reaches the middle of the sky, painting the world in a warm, orange glow. He doesn't actually mean to find her, is the thing. He's out tracking some food for the huts since he needs a break from building on Madi's room. Madi herself has apparently wrangled what kids there are to give them all makeovers, enlisting Clarke's help, as well as Gaia's...which is a strange thing to see, to say the least. 

Gaia's relationship with everyone following her actions have been mostly rocky. Clarke punched her in the face, _twice,_ before Octavia managed to pull her off. Madi avoided her at all costs for a while, and she suffered glares and scowls from everyone who knew what really happened. Eventually, though, Gaia got with Bellamy and Clarke to give weirdly heartfelt apologies, and Madi just happened to walk in on the discussion. Somehow, three hours later, Madi was giving Gaia a hug and congratulating her on her faith, while Bellamy had to make sure Clarke wasn't going to punch Gaia again. Overall, though, like most things, time helps it along.

Everyone else is off doing their own things. Indra being a leader, handling whatever issues may rise in the day. Murphy being his usual self and bouncing between Emori and Raven to bother them, which they pretend to be annoyed by. Harper hanging out with Miller and Echo at the top of guard towers, and Monty working happily on his farm. 

The Village is strangely quieter with so many at the Eligius Village to help build. From what Diyoza has reported, there were no missing fingers when she got back, surprisingly, and the help of Wonkru has sped up the building process quite a bit. 

So, Bellamy is out gathering food and hoping for the chance to bag something to take back to the huts when he happens upon his sister. He doesn't plan to. He just steps out the line of trees to see his sister sitting in a patch of sun in a meadow. She's got her back to him and has her head tilted back as the sun streams down on her face. 

"Octavia?" Bellamy slowly approaches her, offering a smile when she glances over her shoulder to look at him. 

"Hey, Bell," she says quietly. 

Bellamy steps up and plops down beside her. "What are you doing out here?" 

"Just thinking. You?" 

"Getting some food for the Village. I needed a break from building Madi's room." 

"Sounds fair." 

"It's pretty out here, isn't it?" 

Octavia glances over at him, then slowly nods. "Yeah, it is. The Valley itself is. I didn't really realize it until I started going out and looking around. I thought—well, I figured that I'd seen how beautiful Earth is when we first got down, but six years in the bunker must have made me forget." 

"Hard to see the beauty in things when you're trapped in an ugly existence," Bellamy murmurs, looking down at his fingers as they lightly tug at the flowers. He hadn't even realized that he was pulling them up; it just happens without him deciding to do it. He wonders if humans are born destructive, or if it's an unconscious thing they pick up along the way of a cruel, harsh life. 

"I know a thing or two about being trapped," Octavia says with a sardonic curl of her lips. 

Bellamy sighs. "Yeah, you do. What about now, though? Found your freedom yet?" 

"Getting there." 

"Taking it one step at a time, right?" 

"Right," Octavia agrees. She glances around at everything and smiles. "My first step happened right here. I could have killed Indra and Gaia in this meadow, and there would have been no one who could have stopped me. I could have killed anyone, everyone if I wanted, started a war and burned the whole world down. It would have been easier, in a way, just to do it and accept that's who I was because that's who I became. I made the walls in the bunker bleed, and I could have turned these rivers red, but that's the thing about serene beauty, I guess." She glances over at him and arches an eyebrow. "Everyone always thinks the world will look better with their signature on it, but the world is only beautiful because we haven't yet signed it. My impact was no more important than anyone else's, and I had no right. So, for once, I left it alone." 

Bellamy can't stop himself from reaching out and smoothing a hand down her hair, just like when they were younger and he was proud of her for doing something. He feels his lips tremble when they curl up, and he looks at his little sister with emotion thick in his throat. He looks at her and sees the girl under the floor, sees the girl who broke so many times that she was nothing more than sharpened edges of a shattered piece, sees the girl who's grown into a woman that defies all those things about her anyway. She is strong, she is weak, she is whole, and she is broken. She is many things, but she is her own, and he's proud of her. 

He is  _ so  _ proud of her. 

"Say what you want," Bellamy whispers, "but I think your impact will remain on this world long after we've left it." 

"Maybe," Octavia says softly. "Maybe all of ours will. Maybe I'm wrong and the world awaits every signature of the people who live in it. If that's the case, I wanted my signature to be written in something other than blood." 

"It will be." Bellamy leans forward and kisses her forehead, feeling his own eyes cloud with tears. "It already has." 

Octavia leans her head over on his shoulder, and together, they watch the patches of light slowly recede as the sun sets. The world will turn once more, and their signatures will glow. 

* * *

Days start to blur together. 

It's almost ironic how things seem to shift back into what Bellamy used to cherish. The easy days back when the Valley was his, Clarke's, and Madi's. Back before anyone else ever stepped foot into it. The days when he felt at peace, content and safe. It's a strange phenomenon to feel it go back to that when everyone has come back. 

He'd expected changes, and there are. He'd expected things to get complicated, and it has. He'd expected a slow adjustment period, and there is. 

Somehow, though, it's better than he could have imagined. He remembers hoping for a future where everything worked out and everyone would be safe. It's even more than that. 

It's a  _ community,  _ a peace that doesn't feel under threat of being shaken. It's his child having friends and a future, having love for neighbors she's never known before now. It's his lover finding her footing as she does better every single day, figuring out how to hold onto people she loves without fear of losing them. It's his sister slowly healing as more time passes, working on being true to all of her broken parts and building off of that into something willing to forgive and hope. It's the people living off this land, turning away from war when they're all so much more accustomed to it. 

It's hard, sometimes. People do not forget the fires they're born from, and many cradle scars in their skin from the flames. It's a constant effort not to spark an ember that's never fully gone out. He sees it sometimes in the way Octavia grips her sword, in the way Madi wakes up screaming from a memory of a bullet she can never take back, in the way Clarke still calculates every risk with a hardness to her eyes that he has to try and soften. He finds it in himself, too, when his heart catches in his chest at the sound of yelling and his hand goes to his gun that he forgets he's no longer carrying on him anymore. 

It gets easier, though. With every laugh, every reminder, every display of simple humanity...it gets easier. That's the part that astounds him. He's seen the worst in countless people that he doesn't expect to see the best so often. He begins to wonder if his views on humanity were stilted and wrong this whole time. Perhaps people are made for surviving, that's true, but he can now see that they're destined for hope. 

It seems to happen in leaps and bounds, but it's really one step at a time. He sees things that he never thought he would. Monty asking Harper to marry him and people in Wonkru working together to make their wedding something magical, both Villages coming together to watch them say their vows. 

He sees a man from Eligius crew fall in love with a man in Wonkru, and he's the one who comforts Octavia when the man in Wonkru moves to the Eligius Village to be with the man he loves. He sees that in reverse, too, despite everything. 

Bellamy is the one who notices that Emori is pregnant first. He gets to see Murphy cry for the first time with a smile on his face. He's lucky enough to witness Raven bending with a wince on her face, pushing on despite her injury to kneel down to try and listen at Emori's flat stomach like she might actually hear something. 

He's not technically there when Diyoza gives birth to Hope, but Octavia and Clarke are. He waits outside with Madi, who paces restlessly the whole time. Eventually, he gets to hold Hope while Octavia hovers with a strangely enamored look on her face, and he remembers Octavia being this small. He holds Hope and inwardly thinks of what an amazing human being she will one day grow into. Then he gives Hope to Madi, who cries like she has never seen something so beautiful in her entire life. 

He sees it all, sees every single thing. Indra slowly getting a better relationship with her daughter, easily balancing her leadership duties as if she's always been the one they needed all along. Gaia worshiping the  _ fleim  _ at her heart's content, her faith strong and unyielding even as she allows herself love and trust in her family. Ethan flourishing into a young boy who is more than what he's known his whole life, being Madi's best friend without faltering. Echo learning to share hidden parts of herself, opening up over time. Miller and Jackson safe and happy and in love, at peace in the world with each other. 

It's something he couldn't have predicted. How amazing all of this turns out. He'd hoped, oh how he'd hoped, but he hadn't been prepared. It's everything. It's what they've all wanted and needed for so long, though they've never  _ ever  _ realized it. 

It's family, and love, and hope. 

It's peace. 

* * *

"Madi likes her room." 

Bellamy hums as Clarke steps up behind him and leans onto his back. Her arms loosely wrap around his chest, and he leans back in his chair to tilt his head back and look up at her. 

"I can tell," Bellamy agrees in amusement. 

Clarke kisses his cheek. "Ethan wants one next."

"I'm sure he does." 

"You'll do it?" 

"Of course," Bellamy says easily. 

"You're a good man, Bellamy Blake." Clarke smiles against his cheek and then turns her head to peer at the pencil and paper in front of him. "What are you writing now? Finishing up Jasper's book?" 

"I finished it a few days ago," Bellamy admits. He reaches up to lightly hold onto Clarke's arms, sighing heavily as he frowns down at the blank paper with a wrinkle in his eyebrows. 

"Who's next?" Clarke asks. "I think you've gotten everyone dead covered by now." 

"I know," Bellamy mutters grudgingly. "I guess I could go collect books back from everyone and try to add to their stories, if they want." 

"You don't sound like you want to do that, though."

"I don't, I guess. I want…" 

Clarke pulls away and shifts over to sit down in his lap, leaning back against the desk so she can look at him while she idly plays with the curls at the back of his neck. "What, Bellamy? We've talked about this before. You should write what you want." 

"Would you consider working with me on something?" Bellamy asks her slowly. 

"Bellamy, I love you, but you know I don't really have a way with words like you do." 

"Maybe not, but you're good at drawing." 

"Oh. Well, sure, if you say so," Clarke says, blinking in pleased surprise at the compliment. "Alright, so what would you need me to do?" 

"I'm thinking of a book that's about...everything."

"Everything?" 

"Yeah, not just one person in part of the story, but the whole story. All of it, every single horrible and wonderful piece."

"And what would you have me do?" 

Bellamy reaches out and tucks a strand of her unruly hair behind her ear. "I want you to draw it. All of it. Every single setting, every single significant moment, every single thing on paper." 

"You want me to illustrate your book?" Clarke asks softly, her lips parting. 

"Yeah, why not?" Bellamy chuckles at Clarke's astonished expression. "Come on, Princess, we do everything worth doing together. This will be worth it, trust me." 

"By everything, you mean…"

"The Ark. The dropship. Arkadia. Mount Weather. The city of light. The Bunker. This Valley. Every single thing you can remember, I want it on paper."

Clarke lets out a little ridiculous laugh. "That's ambitious, but okay. Can I ask  _ why?"  _

Bellamy reaches out to cup Clarke's face, staring into her blue eyes. "Ten years ago, I wouldn't have been able to tell you a damn thing about the world a hundred years ago, and I imagine there are countless stories from then that are worth knowing. History that's gone forgotten, lives as complicated as our own that will never be told, mistakes made that we might have avoided if we were already aware of them. A hundred years from  _ now,  _ what will the people alive remember about us?" 

"I guess they'll remember whatever we put in this book we're going to do," Clarke says with a weak laugh. "And you're sure you want  _ everything  _ in there? Bellamy, there are some things worth forgetting." 

"Every single thing all of us have done has led us to right here, Clarke, and I'd do all of it over again if it meant we reach this point. Every horrible mistake, every crushing loss, and every single moment of pain and tragedy. History is history for a reason, and to erase any part of it would be smearing the future we want to proceed after we're gone." 

"Our children will read this. Their children will, and theirs, too. Maybe I'm just scared that my descendants will be disappointed in me." 

"If there's one day a world when all the things we've  _ all  _ done seems horrible and outlandish, then we should be thankful," Bellamy murmurs. "Our mistakes are mistakes, and they're not going away with time, not when they're part of the reason we're here today. People don't read stories hoping to hate the contents inside. Maybe they'll hate us, maybe they'll forgive us, but they should get to decide that for themselves because they should  _ know."  _

"You're right," Clarke says softly. "I know you are, but I hate that you are. But let's do it anyway. It's a pretty long story, though. Where do we start?" 

"I guess we start where it all began," Bellamy says, glancing over Clarke's shoulder to stare at the blank page on the desk. "We start with reaching the ground, and we go from there." 

"What's the title going to be?" 

"I haven't worked that out yet. We'll get there."

"Alright," Clarke murmurs, leaning forward to kiss his cheek, then his lips. When she pulls away, her smile is soft. "Then let's get started." 

Clarke slides out of his lap to go grab her own papers and pencils, dragging a chair with her as she comes back. Bellamy can hear Madi humming in one room over, no doubt hanging up things on her walls and decorating how she likes. His heart pulses with love for her, for his daughter, and he reaches out to squeeze Clarke's hand once she gets settled. She looks at him for a moment, then squeezes back. 

He looks down at the book in front of him, the empty pages awaiting the things they've all experienced. It's not just a story, it's  _ their  _ story, every single person who's been a part of it. 

Bellamy wants to write it all down. He wants to wield words like weapons on the battlefield of paper, take them through war and loss and grief, only for them to reach peace and family and joy. He wants to show whomever may one day pick up the book what the journey looks like, a piece of history that should never be forgotten. There is a legend here in these people, a tale as tragic and gruesome as it is beautiful and special that deserves to exist long after they're all gone. He wants it on the record that anyone is capable of doing better. 

So, he leans forward with Clarke, and together, they begin. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed, don't hesitate to drop off some kudos and leave a comment; I adore every single one. 
> 
> Ta!
> 
> -SOBS


	11. The Legacy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooft, y'all. I'm very emotional about posting this last chapter. This fic has been a journey from the very first installment to the last. It's a bit of a beast, because I've never written over 200k before, but here we are, wildly enough. I won't lie, I cried after I wrote this last chapter. 
> 
> To be honest, y'all, the last chapter was meant to be the last, but I got this nagging feeling that things needed to be sort of closed upon in a meaningful way. These two fics have so much GROWTH in them from so many characters, and I really wanted to encompass them all in one final chapter. Because, ultimately, this fic is about growth, doing better, choosing peace, etc. And yeah, ofc the characters had struggles to overcome, and I made them all fight for the peace that they deserve, but it felt hella important to see this through all the way. 
> 
> Anyway, I'm yammering because I'm emotional, sorry. I really, really hoped everyone enjoyed, and I can't wait to hear the responses of this final chapter. ❤ 
> 
> Without further ado...
> 
> Enjoy ;)

There is a Village. A small, loud Village with criminals and bursts of laughter. In this Village, there are people who did not deserve a second chance, but got it anyway, and those chances are not wasted. 

There is another Village. A large, well-tuned Village with warriors and the smiles shared between friends. In this Village, there are people who have a history so scarred and broken it seems they'll never come back from it, but they do, and they thrive. 

There are people who forge bonds in spite of all the paths that could have been taken. People who would have never met, or found peace, or known love had things gone so very differently. People that know nothing of it and forge these bonds anyway in blissful ignorance. 

There are others who seem to be fated to have entwined paths, no matter which way the story goes. People who meet, find peace, and know love because they're meant to. They don't know either, how differently things could have gone, but they know they're meant to be in each other's lives, regardless. 

There is a baby who will grow up loved and protected, not just by her mother but by so many people she'll never have to grow up alone or afraid. She'll never know what her name means, or why it holds so much weight with her mother, but only because hope is not something she will ever do without. People will call her name, and she will smile as she looks up. 

There is a woman who will take it one step at a time every day until, quite abruptly, she'll look back and see how far she's come. She will put away her blade, though she will never forget it, and she will instead take up the weapon that is her love for family. It will continue to hurt, though the pain lessens with time, and she will find ways to heal with a person she expected to be her enemy and an infant she never expected to care for. One day, she will call that baby's name, and she will understand everything. 

There is a group of people who've been there from the very beginning. 

A man who lost his best friend and learned the importance of finding simplicity in life, who will hold his wife with a smile and whisper name suggestions for the child growing in her stomach that no one knows about. He will close his eyes and remember what peace feels like with stark clarity, for how could he forget when he feels it every day?

A woman who lost many things over the years and found her strength in the midst of wars, who will smile as her husband gives her name suggestions for their unborn child. She will laugh with ease because life is easy, and she will agree to name their child Jordan for a man they will forever miss. 

A man who changed throughout the years and lost his way under many, many years of strain, who will figure out how to smile again and feel a pulse of pride every time his boyfriend patches someone up who's been injured. He will find a place in the world that he doesn't hate, and the strain will wash away like it should have never existed in the first place. 

A woman who was crippled in many ways and learned that it meant she wasn't broken, who will stretch her genius and give herself a break because she's earned it. She will flourish in helping build up the world, and those she loves will never let her forget how appreciated she is. 

A man who made so many mistakes that he could never be trusted, who loved so fiercely that it had the strength to rip him apart, who will be cherished by those he's chosen in this shitty world and will understand more than anyone will give him credit for. He will not soften with time, and his tongue will always be his sharpest weapon that he's not afraid to use, but he will bridge the gap in himself to do more than just survive. 

There are two others who came later, much later, but their impact will not go unseen. 

A woman who fell in love with a broken man and was as broken as he, who will learn and teach and will love herself wholly as she should. She will trust, and she will have family, and she will take her glove off without any shame. 

Another woman who was more of a weapon than a person and was never sure of who she was meant to be, who will find her place with those who will never use her and will only want her for who she is. She will slowly learn that smiles should be shown, and she will figure out how to show what she feels, and she will be more than what she allowed herself to be. 

There is a mother who is a leader, and she will be remembered as the very best one. There is a daughter who is faithful, and she will worship without shame. They will have many issues to overcome, but they will make the effort. 

There is a woman who craves many more things than just pills over time, and she will love her daughter as she always has, as well as she will love her granddaughter much the same. With her, there is a man who has walked a long path to finding his moral compass, who will learn that growth can be found in the wildest of places, and he will look back on where they started with many regrets as he is thankful for where they've ended up. 

And there is a child, one who will grow into a wonderful young woman. 

A child who lost many people and was willing to lose herself to stop it from happening again, who will be happy in a world she unknowingly helped to build. She will be a best friend, a daughter, a niece, and she will have a heart full of love for many. She will remember her mistakes, and she will perhaps make many more, but she will grow and do better, just as she was taught to. 

But, perhaps most importantly, there is a man and woman who have changed the most. 

They are leaders, they are fighters, and they are survivors. However, they're also parents, and friends, and family. They exist in a community they've helped build. They live in a world without a war that they helped stop. After many of the wars they've unknowingly started, and the wars they might have if things have gone differently, they've changed into something they've wished to become all along. 

A man who has honor, who loves without restraint, who's a father and a big brother. He has perhaps had the biggest impact of peace that will exist forevermore, unknowingly being the reason that the end of the world is stopped this time. 

A woman who wants to do better and will learn how to, who's a mother and a daughter. She has perhaps had the biggest difference in the tide of peace that she could have thwarted, unknowingly avoiding being the thing to start the end of the world this time. 

Together, they will know peace. They will laugh, and they will love, and they will grow throughout the years, in spite of never knowing that they've saved many lives. They don't need to know, and they never will. 

They will raise their child. They will make a book full of words some would rather forget and of drawings that some will always remember. They will fight, and they will make up, and they will undoubtedly be okay. They'll grow old, going gray and still mocking each other with smiles. And, above all, they will be together. 

There is a book. A thick, leatherbound book with crisp pages and smudges of khol. In this book, there are words that tell a tale that deserves to be told, and there are images that deserve to be seen. 

This book will be read by many. So many, in fact, that the book will become well-worn and held by cherished fingers. Eventually, it will be moved around by people who won't fully grasp the importance of it, who will toss it on their nightstand carelessly as they flick their lights off, vowing to read the next chapter in the morning. It will be dropped in a meadow that has far more memories than the book could properly express, and it will remain there, forgotten, for three days until someone finds it and takes it to a small Village that's grown throughout the years. It will be rightfully returned months later when someone hands it over on  _ Ogeda Deyon,  _ and the book will be shelved until curious fingers pluck it back down. 

This book will cause many to have feelings over the years, for those who will remember what it was like in times the book reminds them of. People will cry over the pages, aching at the reminder of a harder time, and it will ensure that such another time won't come to pass. The child of those who made the book will touch it lovingly long after her parents are gone, and she will pass it on to her own children, hoping they will learn the lessons the pages wish to teach them. It will be passed on and on, and it will go through very many hands, and the message between the binding will leave the impact its meant to. 

There is a tradition, one where two Villages come together once a year to celebrate one another. It will carry on long after those who made it has gone. The Villages will grow with time, and they will change over the course of the years that follow. Eventually, the Villages will forget that they were not always allies, and they will take up the mantles as sisters without ever thinking they were anything else. 

There is an Earth. A planet that has seen and felt many things, that's been shaped and molded by many different hands. A land that has been destroyed one too many times, that has roots of history that no one will ever fully understand. In the dirt and sand, in the rivers and lakes, in the trees and the air, there are memories. 

Signatures have been left on this world by many, some that will drift away like a breeze, some that exist in boulders that will never move. The world does not forget a signature, no matter how small, no matter how seemingly insignificant. It remembers every flower plucked, every fire set, and every exhale that floats in the air. It is made up by every cell of every person who is gone and who will come. 

And, some day, the sand will be broken apart by pops of green as the world remembers to grow, too. The Valley will expand, and oceans will rise once more, and there will be endless signatures to remember. It will not forget the end of the world, nor will it forget the ends that were missed. It will not forget those who helped avoid it. 

The book and the world will know each other for a very, very long time. History will not be forgotten, and peace will always be remembered. 

There is a chance to do better, a small step that has to be taken, and it is not the first. It is not the last.  Someone will take it. 

Someone always does. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, that's all, folks. I really hope you all enjoyed! I want to thank everyone who has read along from the beginning to the end, those who came along later, and those who will come along next. Writing this fic was helpful for me personally in so many ways, and I'm so happy to share it with everyone. 
> 
> As always, if you enjoyed, don't hesitate to drop off some kudos and leave a comment; I seriously adore and cherish every single one. 
> 
> Ta!
> 
> -SOBS


End file.
